The Groversubmersible thread: Harbour fraught

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Groversubmersible thread: Harbour fraught

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

IIRC the US navy has a program they made for rapid response to downed subs (the Russian sub that was stuck at the bottom of the ocean was a pretty solid example of when it would be needed) but I think these guys are exceeding the maximum depth most military submarines can operate so they�re hosed regardless.

RIP dudes in a metal dong, you�re now the �Green Boots� of the ocean.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:43

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 23:20

Death By SnuSnu: Jun 7, 2007; Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.

wilderthanmild posted:

This could have been solved by just not having a loving recovery platform it needs to dock with and just giving the thing it's own way to surface

Pfft silly logical person

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:43

Passive Aggreeable: May 23, 2009; "Either way, it's going to hurt like crazy."

Death By SnuSnu posted:

Pfft silly logical person

b-but Tesla's rocket can land itself

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:45

Death By SnuSnu: Jun 7, 2007; Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.

LostCosmonaut posted:

To be fair on the controller thing the US Navy uses 360 controllers on their subs; https://www.digitaltrends.com/cool-tech/navy-xbox-controllers-attack-submarines/

If it works and it's cheaper than some 5 billion dollar controller built by raytheon in 49 states I'm all for it.

They're using them to control the periscope not drive the entire sub.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:47

biznatchio: Mar 31, 2001; Buglord

Codependent Poster posted:

lol they're dead.

No good way to go, either. Crushed to death in an implosion, suffocated due to lack of air, or drowned.

No way they drowned. If there was *any* way for water to get into the sub, it'd be coming in with enough pressure to cause a rapid unplanned disassembly of the sub and kill them instantly.

But don't forget the wildcard option: freezing to death. It's highly doubtful they were equipped with compressed O2 in significant excess of the duration of their planned excursion; but if by some chance they did bring enough air, they certainly don't have enough electrical power to keep heat running to hold back the chill of the 2�C water they're immersed in for very long. And once the power goes out, a metal tube is going to get cold very quickly.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:49

Schweinhund: Oct 23, 2004

They should be able to survive by eating the billionaire and drinking their own urine.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:51

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

They died because of stick drift

Is it A or X or B?

Nintendo has blood on their hands

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:51

Death By SnuSnu: Jun 7, 2007; Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.

biznatchio posted:

No way they drowned. If there was *any* way for water to get into the sub, it'd be coming in with enough pressure to cause a rapid unplanned disassembly of the sub and kill them instantly.

But don't forget the wildcard option: freezing to death. It's highly doubtful they were equipped with compressed O2 in significant excess of the duration of their planned excursion; but if by some chance they did bring enough air, they certainly don't have enough electrical power to keep heat running to hold back the chill of the 2°C water they're immersed in for very long. And once the power goes out, a metal tube is going to get cold very quickly.

Saalkin posted:

If they didn't die instantly and are instead slowly running our if air, you think they're sucking and loving the hell out of each other?

Let's create some heat baby!

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:54

Commander Jebus: Sep 9, 2001; You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought...

wilderthanmild posted:

My dumb theory:

They got to the correct depth fine and started scootin around the titanic as planned.
The electrical system failed, leaving them without propulsion, communication, and lights.
Because of the above they could not dock with the recovery platform thing and are kinda just stuck at the bottom of the ocean.

This could have been solved by just not having a loving recovery platform it needs to dock with and just giving the thing it's own way to surface, ideally any control of this is either directly mechanical or has some kind of redundant back up power, because not being able to surface is bad.

Even if it turns out that the pressure vessel failed, having a separate platform the vessel needs in order to surface is the dumbest poo poo ever.

While I don't know this for sure as I haven't seen any detailed specs for groversub, pretty much every other commercial submersible built has an emergency deballast system of some kind. Its normally a manual mechanical linkage that will drop the heavy main battery or other ballast weight out of the bottom, making the submarine positively buoyant causing it to rapidly rise to the surface. The advantage of these systems is that they will work without power, propulsion or electrics of any kind. Once the sub gets to the surface it should have a S/EPIRB (Radio beacon) that would point rescuers right to it, and hopefully it would have hard points to crane in on to the deck of a ship.

This sub seems very poorly designed, so who knows. I think the hull failed catastrophically. 4000m is about ~400 atmospheres of pressure, or ~5800PSI. Thats a lot of pressure

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:55

R.L. Stine: Oct 19, 2007; welcome to dead gay house

if they didn't die immediately i wonder if the ceo was like well i don't know how to say this folks but we're super hosed

# ? Jun 20, 2023 03:56

You Are A Werewolf: Apr 26, 2010; Black Gold!

All they gotta do is input the Contra code into the sub�s controller.

30 extra lives ought to buy them some time to be rescued.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:01

funeral home DJ: Apr 21, 2003; Pillbug

Death By SnuSnu posted:

Let's create some heat baby!

Nervous passenger has gastrointestinal distress? Light their farts on fire to create heat!

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:04

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Water way to go

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:06

SAY YOHO: Oct 5, 2021

When I was little I wanted to build my own sub, I made drawings and fantasized about stealing a big oil tank that was nearby. I'm glad I grew of that because it is clearly the path to madness.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:07

ruddiger: Jun 3, 2004

Mr. Crow posted:

someone get james cameron to film a rescue op

Imagine Elon calling James Cameron a pedo

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:08

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

Three Olives posted:

https://twitter.com/FnpMarieOH/status/1670931677013524487

Yeah, they are dead.

what in the name of long john silver

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:11

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

LASER BEAM DREAM posted:

This is how they controlled it

Well it's cold

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:12

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

Wee fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Jun 20, 2023

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:14

Fansy: Feb 26, 2013; I GAVE LOWTAX COOKIE MONEY TO CHANGE YOUR STUPID AVATAR GO FUCK YOURSELF DUDE; Grimey Drawer

Fansy fucked around with this message at 04:22 on Jun 20, 2023

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:15

Blow: Feb 10, 2004

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQCvtPS2fLc

Seems there are seven separate systems for surfacing the sub.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:15

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Escape Goat posted:

We're going to need another wreckage discovery sub

what if we lose that one too

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:15

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Remember that one time a goon helped make a submarine for some rich shithead who lured a reporter onto the submarine and took the submarine out on the sea and then killed the reporter on the submarine out on the sea?

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:15

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

Alan Smithee posted:

what if we lose that one too

kinda reminds me of this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Shaw

diver died in a deep lake

another diver found him 10 years later and organized a dive to recover the body, then died in the process

and then a 3rd dive team went in to retrieve him, and lived

so we're going to need at least 3 of these things by my reckoning

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:17

Commander Jebus: Sep 9, 2001; You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought...

biznatchio posted:

But don't forget the wildcard option: freezing to death. It's highly doubtful they were equipped with compressed O2 in significant excess of the duration of their planned excursion; but if by some chance they did bring enough air, they certainly don't have enough electrical power to keep heat running to hold back the chill of the 2�C water they're immersed in for very long. And once the power goes out, a metal tube is going to get cold very quickly.

Assuming they have lithium hydroxide curtains in their survival gear, they will run out of oxygen long before they freeze (the curtains use a chemical process to effectively convert CO2 to heat, and are standard sub survival stores)

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:17

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Shinjobi posted:

my wife and I got a print out submariner "license" because we got in some touristy mini sub in Cozumel, Mexico.

I will use these qualifications to answer any and all questions the thread may have

if your wife is a sub how much seamen can she take on

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:18

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Commander Jebus posted:

While I don't know this for sure as I haven't seen any detailed specs for groversub, pretty much every other commercial submersible built has an emergency deballast system of some kind. Its normally a manual mechanical linkage that will drop the heavy main battery or other ballast weight out of the bottom, making the submarine positively buoyant causing it to rapidly rise to the surface. The advantage of these systems is that they will work without power, propulsion or electrics of any kind. Once the sub gets to the surface it should have a S/EPIRB (Radio beacon) that would point rescuers right to it, and hopefully it would have hard points to crane in on to the deck of a ship.

This sub seems very poorly designed, so who knows. I think the hull failed catastrophically. 4000m is about ~400 atmospheres of pressure, or ~5800PSI. Thats a lot of pressure

Thankyou for this information, but, after reading one two many Agatha Christie novels, I now read "positively buoyant" as meaning "very happy" in the old english lady sense of the word.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:19

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

NoEyedSquareGuy posted:

Why aren't you saving them right now?

clearly a pedo guy

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

They died because of stick drift

they turned on autofire but the sub was designed by hideo kojima

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:19

Death By SnuSnu: Jun 7, 2007; Compare your lives to mine and kill yourselves.

Commander Jebus posted:

Assuming they have lithium hydroxide curtains in their survival gear, they will run out of oxygen long before they freeze (the curtains use a chemical process to effectively convert CO2 to heat, and are standard sub survival stores)

That may be a big assumption. So far they have yet to show that they researched or followed any standards for operating a submarine.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:22

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

there wasn't even a periscope on this thing, how you gonna even call it a submarine?

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:24

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

R.L. Stine posted:

i always wanted one of those when i saw ads for it. anyway the sub was smuggling drugs to the titanic

FROM

they had the good opium

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:25

Commander Jebus: Sep 9, 2001; You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought...

Death By SnuSnu posted:

That may be a big assumption. So far they have yet to show that they researched or followed any standards for operating a submarine.

Very true, but I just watched that CBS news clip posted up thread and the flypaper strips the reporter who had previously done a trip was describing are the curtains.

I had a sad lol at having to roll the sub to deballast with lead pipes though. I'm assuming there was a second emergency system but maybe not.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:26

Darth Brooks: Jan 15, 2005; I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

This needs to be made into a movie called My Heart Will Go On But the Batteries Will Not"

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:27

Karma Comedian: Feb 2, 2012

Commander Jebus posted:

Assuming they have survival gear,

I think this is a stretch

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:27

its all nice on rice: Nov 12, 2006; Sweet, Salty Goodness.; Buglord

Only James Cameron is allowed to visit the Titanic.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:29

Wee: Dec 16, 2022; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:30

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

4.3 stars, could be a lot worse

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:32

Commander Jebus: Sep 9, 2001; You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought...

Bad Purchase posted:

there wasn't even a periscope on this thing, how you gonna even call it a submarine?

Correct! If you want to get technical it's a submersible, not a submarine.

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:33

ProperCauldron: Oct 11, 2004; nah chill

Gosh there's a word on the tip of my tongue when a sub gets crushed by pressure in 1/10th a second and like every partition converges and all space immediately gets crushed and filled with water. Like departitionication or something

Here's a crazy few paragraphs
https://www.quora.com/When-a-submar...physiologically

# ? Jun 20, 2023 04:42