GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

I must have missed the rebranding from eGeez to "Oh,Geez!"

# ¿ Nov 14, 2023 16:16

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 13:18

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

Nathen tweeted a link to his audiobook and there's actually a free sample of it. I feel bad for the narrator.

https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details/nathen_mazri_Arabiolosis?id=AQAAAEA8PTx9EM

quote:

Nathen Mazri has become like a prisoner for injustice, like a soldier fighting for his life, and like a survivor thriving out of suppression for his freedom. All Nathen wanted was to feel loved, nurtured, larger than life, and never left alone – the basic human conditions. What does it even mean?

Destiny is all-knowing, all-mysterious, and all-giving putting Nathen’s desire to succeed and transform against all odds into test as a thinking species rather than a feeling species.

What he thought he wanted wasn’t what he needed! Little did he know, Nathen was destined to lead a new forthcoming purpose and movement called, Arabiolosis, which is relatable to human beings worldwide.

# ¿ Nov 17, 2023 17:43

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

What the hell is that amount of water? In any Old Fashioned I've seen you add none at all, or maybe like a teaspoon.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2024 01:56

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

That pose feels familiar, is he imitating a famous photo portrait? Like of David Bowie or Johnny Cash or something?

# ¿ Jan 10, 2024 22:41

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

Nathen's twitter bio is a link to an article from October about him. It's probably been covered in this thread but lol.

https://honisoit.com/2023/10/the-man-with-nine-lives-an-interview-with-nathen-mazri/

quote:

“Jim [Davis] and I are best friends,” Nathen said. “We still email and he’s doing great. You know he’s an elderly man now, and he’s lived quite a life. I really saw him as my Godfather, I looked up to him so much, and when I first shook his hand, and you know he was strong and tall. It was a magical moment for me, and I was starstruck also.”

I asked him whether he felt like he was “grieving the loss of Garfield”. “You carry this idea of Garfield within you… would you say there’s a sense of loss?”

“I did, I went on a hiatus,” he said. “I left Instagram for about 6 months, and I had to grieve, I had to grieve. I mean, I wore him for a while. That’s what they taught me in branding and marketing courses, live the brand, feel the brand, be the brand. And what I did is I took it too far and I lost myself. I forgot who Nathen Mazri was. The cat will never leave me.”

quote:

Why is someone still [struggling to buy] a piece of bread? It’s all about money. You talk to me about ethics, morality, and [it’ll] override it! We live in a triangle. There’s someone up there in the pyramid that is really controlling this world. I mean I know who, but maybe we’ll leave it for another interview.”

The boundaries of capitalism are pushed, but so are those of sexuality.

“You seem to hold quite high value to the fact that Garfield is celibate,” I said. “Could you explain why that holds such importance? Obviously, it’s extremely valid.”

Nathen clarified his position. “Garfield is almost 43 years old, I think. And yeah, obviously, you know, he might have crushes here and there, but he’s a selfish person who loves himself, and yes, he’s celibate, and so am I.”

“Honestly,” he said, “I’ve spent 1.5 million dollars on GarfieldEATS. Yes, but I haven’t made that. Imagine having all this taken away from you after you spend that much. They don’t give a poo poo. They don’t give a poo poo. No one gives a poo poo, imagine how people wanna try to take away from you, but they don’t know that there is a fight in good men. There’s a huge warrior inside of good men, and once you keep pushing, if that warrior comes out they will win. Why? God is with the good. And now we’re getting ourselves trademarked. My father wanted me to be a corporate lawyer.”

“Whoa,” I said. “That’s a heavy expectation.”

“Yeah well,” Nathen replied, “You know I always wanted to make him proud. But you know, he is proud now… I’ve done something, and I would love to tell other, you know, young people out there. Don’t be scared. Get out there, you know. Get out there and do something… Stop blabbing about me and others on social media. Really?”

The fact that he's the rich son of a wealthy Saudi family who wants for nothing and can blow millions of dollars without consequence and yet
still thinks he's being oppressed and blames the Rothschilds or something for his failures? :discourse:

Kevin DuBrow fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Jan 12, 2024

# ¿ Jan 12, 2024 04:37

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

After eight months and $700,000 in legal fees, Mazri v. Paramount Global ends with Mazri in tears as they confiscate the twitter handle @GarfieldEATSCo and raid his computer for his secret recipes.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2024 15:16

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

The answer is it doesn't. What's happening is Nathen's phone keyboard probably has a gifs tab, he typed in "Google" and grabbed the first gif.

Also Nathen shared this fanart earlier in the month and the thread probably hasn't seen it since 2019

Kevin DuBrow fucked around with this message at 01:18 on Jan 31, 2024

# ¿ Jan 31, 2024 01:14

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

Dick Bastardly posted:

He's celibate

Yes he's totally celibate, it's not his unhealthy way of dealing with homosexuality

# ¿ Feb 3, 2024 21:05

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

MassRafTer posted:

This is even more confusing than the usual Nathens.

I'm assuming the triangle emoji is an Illuminati reference, and it wouldn't be his first one. Lol at this rich Saudi scion going "the ELITES are pulling the strings!"

# ¿ Feb 5, 2024 03:05

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

I love Nathen's insistence on using the third person as if he runs an organization. When he quotes himself? :discourse:

# ¿ Feb 9, 2024 04:42

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

Die with dignity at our Silent Hill themed retirement home

# ¿ Feb 13, 2024 05:34

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

His "youth is an asset", youngest Garfield merchandising license owner thing is going to only get funnier as he ages. The Botox will flow.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 03:03

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

I dont know posted:

It's kinda funny to treat his death as righteous retribution from God. I mean 76 is a reasonable age to live to. Hell, by the standards of people who played football it's a surprisingly long life.

You need to talk to the people saying the vaccine killed him

# ¿ Apr 12, 2024 01:04

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 13:18

Kevin DuBrow: Apr 21, 2012; The uruk-hai defender has logged on.

Is Nathen's actual given name Ayman, going from the autograph?

# ¿ May 2, 2024 04:48

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