GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

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Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

DoombatINC posted:

Hey is it just me or does this whole panel read like a threat

Why the hell are his eyelids so loving lopsided

# ¿ Jun 23, 2023 06:10

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 08:12

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

His beard and hair and his constant duck facing make me irrationally angry

# ¿ Jun 23, 2023 08:19

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

Yes but WHY is this needed? Big companies like disney don't need Nathen as a middleman to sell merch. They already have licensing agreements with distributors. Who are you selling this to? Distributors and big licensees don't need this poo poo either. They aren't going to use some tiny web app for this sort of thing and it's not like Disney just licenses Mickey Mouse out to some dude who wants to sell stuffed animals or w/e.

Also jfc Nathen:

"Phucket" indeed.
It's essentially a marketplace for people who already hold IP licenses and in the small print somewhere, Nathen says he won't help you negotiate a license. It's just a marketplace you can use to sell your licensed brand merch. All Nathen is doing is A) Verifying that you (the seller) have a valid license and B) providing you with e-commerce poo poo you probably already have a better version of elsewhere.

This can't be a huge market. I still don't understand who the target audience is for this. It sorta makes sense from a consumer point of view for that extremely small subset of people who absolutely do not want knockoff Mickey dolls, but those people are going to go straight to one of Disney's online retail partners and not gently caress around with some app. The ONLY way this would make sense is if Eegeez was partnered with the actual license holders and lmao that will never ever happen.

"it's not like there's anywhere else to buy from"

Amazon, Walmart, countless other retailers and direct from the companies themselves. loving christ, Nathen.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2023 15:29

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Jesus christ, Nathen. What a piece of poo poo, godamn

# ¿ Jun 27, 2023 18:58

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

Also lol that the sole reply to Nathen's weirdo misogynistic rant on Twitter is a person who replied "Grafeld" and nothing else.

E: And by "rant" I mean his entire string of posts has zero retweets and one reply

Nah you had to click "more replies". At least one calling him a failure, one calling him a bigot

# ¿ Jun 28, 2023 04:57

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Nah, I say let the magical folie a deux relationship spark between Canada's youngest Garfield franchisee and the woman who claims to be a writer/producer/filmmaker but is a YouTuber who also played "person on subway" in a Spider-Man movie, lol

She already had to deal with Chris Hardwick and all his horrendous bullshit, don't put that evil on her too

# ¿ Jul 3, 2023 20:16

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Thankfully, if she's a long time SA user, she knows that already

# ¿ Jul 4, 2023 19:38

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Hedenius posted:

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1677318944380600320?s=46&t=mzWS2vgSInnU9jlt8C3n_Q
I love the way this moron will just post about anything.

Is he literally just quoting the BBC news article

# ¿ Jul 7, 2023 16:14

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

Oh god you weren't kidding. He's banging on about adrenochrome etc. Get the gently caress outta here Nathen.

Oh good so he's finally fully going down the chud rabbit hole huh?

Edit: after checking his profile, holy gently caress he is full on adrenochrome-is-real-and-the-media-are-hiding-it

Luckily he has supporters like this smart guy:

https://twitter.com/JesseMoynan/status/1678486168483028992?s=20

Riot Carol Danvers fucked around with this message at 21:10 on Jul 10, 2023

# ¿ Jul 10, 2023 21:06

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Blue Moonlight posted:

Oh gently caress, is that Sound of Freedom movie QAnon bullshit? My parents mentioned seeing it the other day, and while I figured it was right wing BS due to the star, I am not looking forward to having to explain that Hillary Clinton is not ritualistically killing children in the basement of a pizzeria.

It is very much qanon insanity

# ¿ Jul 10, 2023 22:51

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Killingyouguy! posted:

Lmao he started the bidding at $500

Lmao gently caress you, Nathen

Dumb qanon motherfucker

# ¿ Jul 11, 2023 21:33

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

david_a posted:

I, too, love accepting solicited material required for innovation and open entry for new talents building proximity

No seriously, what in the gently caress is that supposed to mean? They won’t get paid?

It's loving gibberish and it hurts my brain to try and comprehend it

It amazes me the narcissism of this loving idiot

He really thinks people look up to him as some sort of icon

# ¿ Jul 21, 2023 18:54

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

BigBadSteve posted:

NATHENflix with Nathen playing every character on every show and all of them making the kissy face.

gently caress you

# ¿ Jul 21, 2023 20:05

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

I hate his stupid made up word
"arabiolosis"
Jfc it sounds like a disease or a physical condition

# ¿ Jul 28, 2023 20:30

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

"iconic" slogan

Literally no one would know that slogan, Nathen

Also I wish for once he would stop doing that GODAMN DUCK FACE

# ¿ Aug 5, 2023 17:53

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

The fact he puts that "signature" on it and everything else like he's a celebrity anyone wants anything to do with is just mind blowing to me

# ¿ Aug 9, 2023 19:43

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

Speaking of he announced the next Iggy's movie night but I don't think said what the movie will be. Exciting.

It's gonna be a bootleg copy of Sound of Freedom

# ¿ Aug 11, 2023 20:43

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

As someone who has eaten pizza in Eastern bloc countries / former Yugoslavia, I bet money it's better than Nathen's bullshit

# ¿ Sep 15, 2023 09:48

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Akratic Method posted:

Amazing that we can recognize his articles as written by an AI and not him because they aren't stupid enough. Like, there was no point to be found in that rambling mess, but it also didn't contain any made-up words or weird pseudo-english turns of phrase.

I literally went there to comment on the article and say pretty much this (but in a much meaner fashion) because I was having a really bad day, but was stopped by the requirement to download their dumb app to comment lol

# ¿ Sep 29, 2023 01:51

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

https://twitter.com/GarfieldEATSco/status/1707758932356178215

Is that video 3 seconds long and broken for anyone else? If so just lol

# ¿ Sep 30, 2023 00:24

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Frank Frank posted:

Pictured, a land monster:

I don't know why but it annoys me every time he writes "Honisoit since 1929 by the University of Sydney"

# ¿ Oct 29, 2023 21:45

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Iirc he said it's pronounced "eggies" or some dumb poo poo

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 01:41

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

gently caress Nathen and his scoliosis

# ¿ Nov 18, 2023 05:18

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

david_a posted:

Mastermind #Toys

That’s like Garfield #Eats

Motherfucker cannot for the life of him figure out how to tag anything on social media

I'm glad he predicted the fall of Toys R Us

# ¿ Dec 3, 2023 05:31

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MassRafTer posted:

Hate to be that guy but instead of paying for expensive video games you should buy your daughter a subscription to every streaming service bundled together with anti-binging rules.

https://twitter.com/nathenmazri/status/1731552875698958498

This motherfucker gets like maybe 1 to 4 interactions per post, but still posts like he's some important business genius

It hurts my loving brain

# ¿ Dec 5, 2023 20:56

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Big City Drinkin posted:

Nathen is 100% aware of this thread and all of the Reddit posts, YT videos, Eater articles, etc. If you google his name all of these things come up. For whatever (honestly shocking) reason he just doesn’t engage.

Thank God for that :10bux:

barrier, finally keeping actual riffraff out

# ¿ Dec 6, 2023 01:27

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

I love that he can't understand the subtext of what the VC said to him, like at all. Like bro your business proposal is utterly nonsensical gibberish that no one will give money to

# ¿ Dec 8, 2023 22:49

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

I love that he thinks his nonexistent and completely without a target market app is going to beat Amazon

# ¿ Dec 14, 2023 21:25

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Escape From Noise posted:

#sad #reality

Lol. I love his inability to understand how hashtags work on social media.

It hurts my loving brain so much

# ¿ Dec 20, 2023 20:59

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Millions of untapped licensed products!

What the christ, Nathen

# ¿ Dec 26, 2023 23:22

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

That movie's merch will never be on egeez because no merch will ever be on egeez

# ¿ Jan 2, 2024 19:41

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

His stupid loving beard and his stupid duck face he does just makes me want to shove his head into toilet water

# ¿ Jan 8, 2024 00:32

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Killingyouguy! posted:

I'm really really surprised that's the recipe for the secret sauce bc when I had the... Sigh... Garfgherita with secret sauce, I'd have sworn the sauce was carrot baby food

I for one still salute you for subjecting yourself to those horrors, including the garficcino.

o7 o7 o7

# ¿ Jan 16, 2024 21:16

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

How the gently caress does that image have 1500 likes

# ¿ Jan 30, 2024 00:42

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Knormal posted:

His posts always have some very even number of likes in the low thousands, plus like 30-60 real likes.

Looking at his Instagram he has 3,062 followers, and his latest posts have 1,535 likes, 2,038 likes, 1,022 likes, 1,541 likes... It's very clear how many he bought for each post and how many are from his "fans".

I'd never even looked at it on the insta posts (I don't view them via Instagram, just when people post screenshots here), and I'd never noticed. I know his Twitter responses range between "0" and "maybe 5 if a bot found it"

# ¿ Jan 30, 2024 05:20

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Just what people want, Nathen. Even more BRANDS invading their loving lives in an even more exploitative and oppressive way.

gently caress you, Nathen. loving narcissistic capitalism brained rich boy dipshit

# ¿ Feb 13, 2024 03:46

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Scientastic posted:

I mainly want to know why he isn’t actually sipping, but is holding the mug sort of near his face instead of actually touching his lips with it

Literally everything Nathen does is performative fuckass bullshit on behalf of brands who don't want him

# ¿ Feb 20, 2024 02:23

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

MrQwerty posted:

the half-joker half-butthole mouth is very unsettling

it's like AI is generating it

Nathen is the human uncanny valley

# ¿ Mar 9, 2024 21:51

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

It is somehow both very funny and very pathetic that he's never realized his display name could be different than his username. You'd think a serious Business Man would have his name written correctly but I'm surprised he remembers how to breathe sometimes so

# ¿ Mar 13, 2024 16:58

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 08:12

Riot Carol Danvers: Jul 30, 2004; It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Dang It Bhabhi! posted:

Apparently she tried to launch her own version of “exploiting kids through dancing” reality show where, allegedly, she screamed at and insulted the kids in an attempt to induce tears for the camera. You don’t often see such a stark example of abused -> abuser pipeline.

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/jojo-siwa-xomg-pop-dancers-physical-mental-torment-1234967431/amp/

That sucks but I'm not surprised an abused performer became an abuser herself. Good parenting, clearly. The cycle of abuse is real, also gently caress Nathen

# ¿ Apr 13, 2024 10:19

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > GarfieldEATS: BABY TAKE MY HAND (DONT FEAR RIPPED GARFIELD)

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