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In remembrance of 1971 classic Willy Wonka, arguably the best movie of all time, Timothee Chalamet will be pissing on Gene Wilder's Grave. They made a whole movie about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8fGvJHarb8&t=3s In competition with the 2005 movie starring Johnny Depp, this movie aims to miscast the lead role even worse, and create an overall more depressing movie-going experience. When asked why in God's name he would play Willy Wonka, Timmy Chalomet said "I just want to piss all over his grave; really soak it to a saturation point. As a young actor I have no appreciation for prior films, and the extent of my defecations knows no bounds. See me in the next Dune movie where I poo poo in the desert for two and a half hours."
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Jul 12, 2023 11:34
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| # ? May 7, 2024 08:52 |
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I hope Gene Wilder screams in anguish from the afterlife
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Jul 12, 2023 11:43
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When asked what the new movie will do differently, director Paul King responded, "We're making the film focus on parts of Willy Wonka's life that are really boring. The Chocolate Factory stuff is like 20 minutes and it's all CGI. The chocolate river looks like actual poo poo, and the Tunnel of Terror is now a long ad-billboard with a Blade Runner-esque capitalist dystopia aesthetic that really drains the soul. The Oompa Loompas all have CGI faces that recall the disastrous Cats film, which is what we were going for. We will not stop until any joy in filmgoers' lives has been crushed into a proverbial powder of desecrated memories."
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Jul 12, 2023 11:46
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if the movie stinks... just don't go
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Jul 12, 2023 11:55
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bitterandtwisted posted:if the movie stinks... just don't go It's not enough that a movie I dislike should flop. Everyone involved in its production needs to suffer for the crime of making a movie I do not want to see.
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Jul 12, 2023 11:57
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They made this movie specifically to reach Gene Wilder in the afterlife and torture his soul. A noble goal, if it takes releasing this movie to do it then so be it.
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Jul 12, 2023 12:09
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Further evidence of the decline of western media. Thankfully, anime is, as always, good
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Jul 12, 2023 12:09
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Hugh Grant as a Oompa Loompa is inspired casting but I feel the scale is wrong
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Jul 12, 2023 12:15
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Where does Johnny Depp fit into this?
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Jul 12, 2023 12:17
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First Russia invades the sovereign nation of Ukraine… and now this?!
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Jul 12, 2023 12:21
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Finally an origin story for dick wonka, i hope this serves as a great and successful start of the william wonka cinematic universe
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Jul 12, 2023 12:23
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Pontificating rear end posted:In remembrance of 1971 classic Willy Wonka, arguably the best movie of all time, Timothee Chalamet will be pissing on Gene Wilder's Grave. They made a whole movie about it: 
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Jul 12, 2023 12:27
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He is the Kistwasthedaratz!
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Jul 12, 2023 12:29
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How does this slot into the extended universe?
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Jul 12, 2023 12:30
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He gives water to the dead!
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Jul 12, 2023 12:48
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Colonel Cancer posted:Finally an origin story for dick wonka, i hope this serves as a great and successful start of the william wonka cinematic universe POST-CREDIT SCENE: WILLY WONKA walks into the boardroom of WONKA,INC. He is exhausted after the events of the film, but eager to begin work on building his candy empire. Suddenly, he realizes that a man in military uniform is sitting there. WONKA: Excuse me, but just who the devil do you think you are? MAN: Mr. Wonka, I'd like to extend an offer to you. You see, we're forming a sort of... team. And we think your particular set of skills could be extremely... useful... to our objectives. I was given your information from a mutual associate of ours, a certain Count that helped secure your chocolate supply lines. WONKA: What's your name, soldier? CAP'N CRUNCH: It's Cap'n, actually. Cap'n Crunch. And I believe that you and I can make it happen. THE END
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Jul 12, 2023 12:55
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Me, a Hollywood director, looking at the art of movie making and the history of cinema: "Oops, missed a spot" I put my hand deep into my rear end and pull out a turd and smear it on the last remaining spots of originality, artistry, dignity, craft, etc...
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Jul 12, 2023 12:59
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The Gene Wilder film failed to adapt the first 100 chapters of the original source material, which left some glaring plot holes in the film. Did you ever wonder how the Bucket's could have such a huge bed when they were ostensibly poor? Or how Slugworth was able to stop time? This movie will cover the first 3 chapters which feature Wonka's origin story and show how he tamed the legendary Gertrude Hawk. It should end just as he receives his cane sword, Morsel.
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Jul 12, 2023 13:05
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Wally Wanker's Chocolate Fucktory
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Jul 12, 2023 13:08
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Butternubs posted:It's not enough that a movie I dislike should flop. Everyone involved in its production needs to suffer for the crime of making a movie I do not want to see. Ah yes, the Rollerball experience
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Jul 12, 2023 13:30
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Hugh Grant's gonna be the oompa loompa lmao
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Jul 12, 2023 13:47
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hmm you seem pretty mad about this op
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Jul 12, 2023 13:51
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Brutakas posted:The Gene Wilder film failed to adapt the first 100 chapters of the original source material, which left some glaring plot holes in the film. Did you ever wonder how the Bucket's could have such a huge bed when they were ostensibly poor? Or how Slugworth was able to stop time? Wonka can run a massive candy empire, but can he survive… high school???
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Jul 12, 2023 13:51
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They should do a Willy Wonka prequel and have it focus on Willy Wonka enslaving the Oompla Loompa's and making the sing and dance for his entertainment.
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Jul 12, 2023 13:52
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This Fall on The CW.... Wonka: Senior Year
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Jul 12, 2023 13:53
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*tearfully, signing the studio contract* i'm gonna piss on gene wilder's grave with this role
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Jul 12, 2023 13:54
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I hope Gene Wilder screams in anguish from the afterlife
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Jul 12, 2023 13:57
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the johnny depp version was good
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Jul 12, 2023 13:57
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:the johnny depp version was good *squinting, trying not to laugh* oh for sure
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Jul 12, 2023 13:58
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i don't care. i'm not ashamed
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Jul 12, 2023 13:59
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:the johnny depp version was good Yikes
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Jul 12, 2023 14:00
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Relatedly, I am sooooo over the Tim Burton - Johnny Depp - Helena Bonham Carter oeuvre. I mean, I still dig big tiddie Goth girls, but not like that.
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Jul 12, 2023 14:03
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Concentration camps
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Jul 12, 2023 14:14
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:They should do a Willy Wonka prequel and have it focus on Willy Wonka enslaving the Oompla Loompa's and making the sing and dance for his entertainment. I think that's this new movie, yeah. From the trailer, it's all about how he defeated the chocolate cartels and became the biggest name in the chocolate business. It's trying to say that it was all because of "his whimsy", and his "magical ideas", but we all know he could do that because he saved so much money on employee wages.
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Jul 12, 2023 14:15
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There’s a sequel to the book, Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, that’s never been adapted to TV or film. That would make a great new movie with the same characters everyone grew up with, but why do that when ~*nostalgiaaaa*~ so Hollywood can fart out yet another adaptation of the first book/Wilder movie?
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Jul 12, 2023 14:17
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Jul 12, 2023 14:17
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:the johnny depp version was good 
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Jul 12, 2023 14:19
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 cant wait for the scene where the oompa loompas get busted cruising for orange tang
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Jul 12, 2023 14:23
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Jul 12, 2023 14:24
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| # ? May 7, 2024 08:52 |
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What in the hell? Why does Hugh Grant have his face plastered over a CGI model? This looks so fake.
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Jul 12, 2023 14:29
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