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Okay, so there's this box with a compartment. And you know lightning, right? Our greatest artificers have figured out how to make the substance that lightning is and when it has been tamed, this substance has magic-like properties. In the box, the lightning substance activates an object that creates powerful light. Like the sun, but even more intense! And if you place food in the box, the food will cook using only the heat from that light. Also, the reason you're sick and fouling your robes is that you have been invaded by tiny little bad bugs that are now in your body. The bugs like to congregate where dirt and bad smells are. Then if you touch those unclean things, the bad bugs go into you. Also, you stink like BO
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Jul 13, 2023 13:45
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No, I am not impressed by your shaduf.
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Jul 13, 2023 13:46
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So first you trade something of perceived value for something of actual value. For instance, a “forums account” where other people from around the whole world tell you to “suck their balls” and “suck the poo poo from their assholes” repeatedly.
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Jul 13, 2023 13:57
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Notable fraudster Ea Nasir is still famous in our day for his poor quality copper.
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Jul 13, 2023 14:04
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No, really. We did send exactly twelve men to the moon. Yes, I suppose it was "generations ago", but -- yes, the first one's name was Armstrong, but --
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Jul 13, 2023 14:20
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There is a man who can pull his butt hole open REALLY wide
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Jul 13, 2023 14:25
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So anyway she had this character named Miranda Sings and she was perving on kids, can you believe it?
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Jul 13, 2023 14:29
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Despite all evidence our scholars have found that piss is stored in the balls
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Jul 13, 2023 14:30
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No dude, you CANNOT do that with a pig. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter if it "springs upon you." loving Christ.
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Jul 13, 2023 14:35
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The testicles on this swine were each larger than the stele of Hammurabi’s code.
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Jul 13, 2023 14:53
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In our times, we no longer enslave those we conquer in battle. That was decided to be cruel and unfair to our brother humans. Instead, until recently, we only enslaved those that appeared to have darker skin than our own. That was decided to be kind and just and we did not consider them our brother humans. Why are you looking at me like that?
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Jul 13, 2023 14:58
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long story short, they named a shoe after him and now he's trying to bring back the hitler 'stache
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Jul 13, 2023 15:01
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I'm gay
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Jul 13, 2023 15:02
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I can't even get drunk off this wine. You mix it with what? Water?! In our day, less than an hour's worth of labor can buy a wine that will get you drunk and angry in minutes. We call it "4 Loko."
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Jul 13, 2023 15:03
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Okay, you know how you'll write dumb poo poo on a wall, like "Marduk drinks his own piss?" Yeah, so imagine a wall so big that everyone in the world can read about that piss-drinker at once.
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Jul 13, 2023 15:03
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Lol classic Marduk
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Jul 13, 2023 15:08
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In about 3000 years, we will have built two symmetrical towers, both far greater than that of the one in Babylon. However, they will be destroyed by two giant birds being flown by humans. Please make a note of it.
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Jul 13, 2023 15:09
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Trust not any schemer named Chintu.
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Jul 13, 2023 15:12
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This is clear glass. In the future, it's used for people to "put 'em on" it.
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Jul 13, 2023 15:15
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In the future, we see pulling out the tongues of our enemies as primitive and barbaric. What are you doing with that th
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Jul 13, 2023 15:54
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Baby Gronk entered the city, asked a blind man if he had ever heard the name Livvy, and the old man laughed to himself, then turned away, as if to say, "You have been rizzed”
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Jul 13, 2023 15:59
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Nooner posted:There is a man who can pull his butt hole open REALLY wide he is one of the greatest of our gods
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Jul 13, 2023 16:00
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Have you heard of the god-emperor, Ligma, son of Gottem?
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Jul 13, 2023 16:06
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Parcheesi? Cheops? Sheep knuckle dice? Nah fam, that's super boring. Let me tell you about this game we have called Raid: Shadow Legends...
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Jul 13, 2023 16:27
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DrSunshine posted:Parcheesi? Cheops? Sheep knuckle dice? Nah fam, that's super boring. Let me tell you about this game we have called Raid: Shadow Legends... Loling at the idea of telling some sumerian guy "It's not just a mobile game, it's a REAL game. They have a ton of REAL heroes for you to choose from, and if you have a promo code you can get one for free!"
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Jul 13, 2023 16:32
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Your economy should always grow
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Jul 13, 2023 16:35
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*is instantly murdered in order to steal my extravagant linens* (Dragon Ball Z t-shirt, flip-flops, and jorts)
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Jul 13, 2023 16:38
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Our gods are living beings who walk among us creating content
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Jul 13, 2023 16:50
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"You see, this is the game of kings and gods, for only the mighty may afford it!" *introduces Warhammer: Fantasy Battles*
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Jul 13, 2023 16:50
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'Look, I know right. But if you skin someone alive, they will cancel you. It's woke nonsense I know, but there it is.'
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Jul 13, 2023 16:57
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This powerful talisman can hang from the back of your grain cart. Its scrotum shape informs others of your magnificent fertility.
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Jul 13, 2023 17:02
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So this nobleborn used his family inheritance money from their emerald mine slave estates to find a way to extract a tithe every time someone in the kingdom buys something. This eventually made him the richest lord in the land, and he used that fortune to make chariots powered by lightning! And sky chariots powered by fire that can fly to the heavens! This gained him many followers and worshippers. But the gods were so displeased by this blasphemy they cursed his chariots to regularly catch fire and explode, killing many nearby firstborns. And after his favourite concubine left him, in his grief he spent all his money on a... err... huge wax tablet on which everyone across the kingdom can inscribe messages at once. And then, in an attempt to regain his fortune, the nobleman started to invite people angry about the Israelite tribes to write messages on it in exchange for 8 pieces of silver a month. This angered the other citizens and they refused to read the tablet any more. This finally displeased the most powerful of all the gods, the Mighty Al-Gurthm who transferred his favour to the rival Lord Zuulker-Baag instead.
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Jul 13, 2023 17:43
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Tigey posted:
They are also driven by mad ghosts who delight in the killing of innocents.
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Jul 13, 2023 17:48
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With our magic we gave the sand a soul, and we can call upon it to generate new episodes of the epic of gilgamesh
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Jul 13, 2023 17:49
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Jul 13, 2023 17:50
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In the future there will be a land they call O-Hyo. It is a loathsome place of feeble-minded lunatics. They shriek and scream madness and produce nothing of value. You must stop its creation. You must!
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Jul 13, 2023 18:01
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Imagine the fattest person you can think of. There is a place called YouEssAay with people fatter than that.
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Jul 13, 2023 18:05
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yeah, his name is "shrek" and he has a huge penis
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Jul 13, 2023 18:19
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drawing a penis in the sand
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Jul 13, 2023 18:19
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You see in the time of your grandson's grandson's grandson's grandson, we grow so many crops that most of us live as scribes and merchants. Rich? Oh, no no, most definitely not. Not really happy either. But at least we're not eunuchs.
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Jul 13, 2023 18:27
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