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Loss.jpg translates perfectly into cuneiform
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Jul 13, 2023 20:08
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 13:15 |
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You know that guy Ea-nāṣir? Well, every guy is him now.
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Jul 13, 2023 20:49
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You see this box with the glowing rectangle? It can show you boobs, instantly. Like, a lot of boobs
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Jul 13, 2023 20:55
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No it's not base 60 any more we use base 10, like our fingeys
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Jul 13, 2023 21:07
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laughing hysterically as the idiot mesopotamians fall for a rick roll yet again
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Jul 13, 2023 21:15
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Private Cumshoe posted:No it's not base 60 any more we use base 10, like our fingeys ..... well apart from 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour plus also that whole 24 hours in a day and 360 degrees in a circle, we've been using those since ancient Mesopotamia
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Jul 13, 2023 21:16
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Sargon of Akkad has a very cool new youtube channel
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Jul 13, 2023 21:16
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I would show them Gangam Style at max volume theyd get it
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Jul 13, 2023 21:20
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before i get to the modernity, hows the rear end eating around these parts?
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Jul 13, 2023 21:31
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20 Blunts posted:before i get to the modernity, hows the rear end eating around these parts? Mostly figs. Trust me, it's hilarious.
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Jul 13, 2023 22:06
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sure okay posted:I would show them Gangam Style at max volume You would either be murdered or declared a god. It's a coin flip.
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Jul 13, 2023 22:23
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shwinnebego posted:Sargon of Akkad has a very cool new youtube channel
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Jul 13, 2023 22:27
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Check out what we did to dog breeds. Isn't that wild? They can't walk or breathe or anything, but aren't they cute?
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Jul 13, 2023 22:36
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blown away by aard varkman's endless instagram feed of incredible goat videos
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Jul 13, 2023 22:38
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We’re here to kick thine rear end and take thine gas, proto-Iraqis.
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Jul 13, 2023 22:46
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They're called "Emojis". Very similar to Egyptian.
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Jul 13, 2023 22:49
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So who the gently caress are the Sea People's anyway?
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Jul 13, 2023 22:57
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Eclipse12 posted:In about 3000 years, we will have built two symmetrical towers, both far greater than that of the one in Babylon. However, they will be destroyed by two giant birds being flown by humans. then explaining that also it will be very funny
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Jul 13, 2023 23:00
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AKA Pseudonym posted:So who the gently caress are the Sea People's anyway? Greeks probably
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Jul 13, 2023 23:01
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Oh, hello there, lowly Mesopotamian street urchin. Allow me to begrudgingly enlighten you about an utterly fascinating concoction called Four Loko, using language that I suppose you might comprehend in your meager existence. Imagine yourself aimlessly wandering the bustling streets, inhaling the faint aroma of ancient bazaars and being utterly deafened by the cacophony of merchants. In the realm of beverages, Four Loko is a potent elixir, whispered about among the boisterous youth who seek nothing more than mindless excitement and revelry. Four Loko, dear urchin, is like a mysterious potion, concocted by those modern alchemists who believe they have unlocked the secrets of exhilaration. It supposedly possesses the power to distort your pitiful senses and ignite a reckless inferno within your pitiful spirit. But do take heed, for this potion is renowned for bestowing both blessings and curses, with consequences as uncertain as the shifting sands of the desert. In your primitive terms, Four Loko can be likened to a wretched amalgamation of two respectable nectars: the fermented juice of the sacred grape and the essence of a grain known as barley. These pitiful ingredients are combined in a potent concoction, bolstered by additional spirits distilled from fruits and grains, as if to make it even more insufferable. When consumed, Four Loko unleashes a torrent of energy upon the pitiful drinker, like a rabid chariot careening through the heavens. It grants a fleeting surge of vigor and audacity, providing a temporary escape from the dreary existence of your wretched street-dwelling life. However, do be warned, for Four Loko, like a double-edged dagger, conceals treacherous dangers within its abhorrent depths. Its potency can lead the ignorant astray, causing them to lose all shreds of reason and succumb to reckless debauchery. Rumor has it that those who indulge in excessive quantities of Four Loko may find themselves stumbling aimlessly through the streets, their pitiful minds clouded and their feeble steps unsteady. In your primitive Mesopotamian world, Four Loko could be likened to a wretched brew that elicits both hollow merriment and mindless chaos. It is a libation that demands a modicum of respect and moderation, lest its intoxicating effects consume the gullible fools who dare partake. So, dear street urchin, as you scurry along your wretched existence, do keep in mind that while Four Loko may hold a certain misguided allure and spark curiosity, it is a potion to be approached with the utmost caution and, if one were to hope for the impossible, a modicum of questionable wisdom. Embrace the fleeting joys of your pitiful life, but never allow the intoxicating allure of this wretched brew to lead you astray from the path of what you feeble-mindedly call "prudence" and self-preservation.
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Jul 13, 2023 23:07
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So there's these things called NFTs, which..... You know what, never mind. You'd never believe me.
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Jul 14, 2023 01:28
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Colonel Cancer posted:Loss.jpg translates perfectly into cuneiform It's 83 degrees at night right now, but 70 degrees in my home. They would burn me as a witch
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Jul 14, 2023 02:07
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People from the Tigris River region walk like this, but people from the Euphrates delta walk like this!
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Jul 14, 2023 02:43
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Alright so there's this thing called a Tier 3 sub, we call it simping, it's sorta similar to your concept of worship.
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Jul 14, 2023 02:44
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All I'm saying is that if your king really is a god, why does he have a wonky eye? What's that? To see into the spirit world? Okay, good answer. But then why is he so ugly in general? I'm pretty sure the 1st Amendment says you're not allowed to pull my eyes from their sockets just because I insulted your fugly leader.
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Jul 14, 2023 02:49
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Grey Cat posted:Alright so there's this thing called a Tier 3 sub, we call it simping, it's sorta similar to your concept of worship. they would understand that. a weirdo who can do weird things that entertain you.
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Jul 14, 2023 02:52
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Eclipse12 posted:In the future there will be a land they call O-Hyo. It is a loathsome place of feeble-minded lunatics. They shriek and scream madness and produce nothing of value. You must stop its creation. You must! Its loathsomeness has inspired many of its men to escape to the heavens!
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Jul 14, 2023 06:07
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No, theyre not "bad boats", they go under water ON PURPOSE to look at very big boats that did not go under water on pur- you know what, youre right, that DOES sound silly...
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Jul 14, 2023 07:49
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Dogs no longer walk into taverns and open that one when they can't see a thing
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Jul 14, 2023 07:51
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That guy who told you about the lightning in the boxes? Yeah we do that by boiling water. Turns out that you can split the things that make up reality in half and it boils water! Cool, huh?
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Jul 14, 2023 08:45
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Oh, and I forgot to tell you how we know all that. The sand we forced to think by using lightningstuff? We found a way to make spirits travel between the thinksand carrying messages, and we can use those messages to share thoughts with the world. Those thoughts can be secret or public, but be warned that they exist in the spirit realm for all eternity and some secrets may be scryed in the future
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Jul 14, 2023 09:02
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There is a force at work in each houeshold called wifi; it cannot be touched nor seen yet it ensures the harmony and prosperity of that house. The head of the household may grant wifi to esteemed visitors, or withdraw it from unruly offspring. It is controlled by access to special secret words, and by ensuring that a small glowing object in the centre of one's home is carefully positioned to interact with invisible forces
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Jul 14, 2023 11:10
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So, you remember those little fertility idol statues that your artisans and craftsmen used to sculpt? You know, the little figurine ones with enormous tits, dicks and oversized bellies? And how most were not actually modelled after the human form, but a strange mix of human and animal traits, like an anthropomorphic fox or cat woman? Well, for only a few coins you can now commission your own personal ones of these on this little thing called Deviantart...
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Jul 14, 2023 11:13
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So everyone has their own streaming service now, it's great.
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Jul 14, 2023 11:19
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Tigey posted:So, you remember those little fertility idol statues that your artisans and craftsmen used to sculpt? You know, the little figurine ones with enormous tits, dicks and oversized bellies? And how most were not actually modelled after the human form, but a strange mix of human and animal traits, like an anthropomorphic fox or cat woman? To strengthen piety, right?
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Jul 14, 2023 11:35
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So there's this guy a bunch of people think is an annunaki that they call "TRUMP"
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Jul 14, 2023 11:38
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Look, we don't really build walls anymore. We can. But we don't. The size and quality of walls is just not a thing we use to measure the wealth and power of a city. No, I am not just saying that because I haven't got a wall. This town doesn't have a wall, it does not need one, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop the condescending chuckling.
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Jul 14, 2023 11:52
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You know your Gods that you worship and kill and fight wars over with? Well 2000 years from now, they will be used as side characters in stories in something called the 'Marvel or DC Cinematic Universes'. They will be portrayed as clownish oafish asses, to make the other Gods that don't exist yet, who will also be turned into comedic characters, look better.
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Jul 14, 2023 11:55
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And he turns himself into a fermented cucumber! Funniest poo poo I've ever seen!
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Jul 14, 2023 12:57
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I know I have to be careful of the butterfly effect, but I just gotta let this Hammurabi guy experience Big Butts Drain My Nuts Vol 3 using my VR headset. *time and space collapse*
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Jul 14, 2023 13:16
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