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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we explain modernity to ancient Mesopotamians
 
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 They're called "Emojis". Very similar to Egyptian.

* # ¿ Jul 13, 2023 22:49
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:35
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

AKA Pseudonym posted:

So who the gently caress are the Sea People's anyway?

Greeks probably

* # ¿ Jul 13, 2023 23:01
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 So everyone has their own streaming service now, it's great.

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 11:19
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 Monster Magnet - Space Lord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dscfeQOMuGw

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 14:04
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Tigey posted:

Great news! Several artifacts and treasures from your time and homeland have survived.

They're currently in this place called the British Museum.

What? No, of course you can't have them back! Why not? Well, because

Those muthafucka's got like half of Assyria all jammed up in there.

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 14:11
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

 "...so, everything is basically the same, except we don't use a stylus anymore"

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 15:39
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

happyhippy posted:

The richest people in the future are people who carry inflated pig skin from one end of a field to another.
Or an inflated ball of rubber from one wooden floor to the other end.
Or a hand sized disk from one side of an ice rink to the other side.
Or are born into it.

The smartest and essential people in the future are paid very little and told to shut up when they ask for more.

Firstly, no athlete's wealth can compare to the various billionaires who own this and all that.

Second, every athlete deserves every penny they are paid, as they are the ones creating the product that makes many hundreds of millions of dollars for others.

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 17:46
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Bad Purchase posted:

don’t be silly, greed isn’t the only reason we do things in the modern world, some people do things because they’re horny as well

"Greed is good"

- Ronald Reagan "Wall Street"

* # ¿ Jul 14, 2023 20:12
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

EVERY TIME GOING posted:

"I know I look very basic for somebody 5000 summers into the future... and I apologize for that, but I bet I can beat you at checkers."

The guy who wrote "Arrival" the movie has a collection of short stories...

* # ¿ Jul 15, 2023 03:38
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Darth Brooks posted:

There are parts of this world that will be familiar, there are parts that you won't be able to comprehend, not for awhile.

There are still rich and poor. We've come to realize that the wealthy are just as foolish, or some cases more foolish than the poor. We no longer have kings but a good number of the very rich wish they were and that's very often a problem. Wars are just as cruel as in your day. We've had some in the last century of breathtaking scope that were just as violent as the Assyrian ones but on a far greater scale. Disease is better understood but in some ways your people were healthier than today. Care for women and children during childbirth is the greatest advance of the last few centuries.

This world will be easier to understand if you realize that much of the work done by slaves in your time is now done by machines, created devices built for a task. The thing you're going to have a hard time adjusting to is the speed. You could write a message on a clay tablet and it would travel at walking speed for most of it's destination and back. We can send a written of visual message to the other side of the world in a matter of seconds. You were used to goods coming from Egypt or Greece. We can send food from those places to your lands and have it delivered before it spoiled.

Proceeds to show AM around the house. We show him the bathroom, he explains that they had plumbing in Ur, just not as sophisticated as this. We show him the air conditioning, he explains the methods they had for cooling interior spaces. We show him the refrigerator, he explains how they would dig beneath houses to store food in a cool area. We turn on lights and he explains the candles they used for lighting, even demonstrating with his hands the way to protect the wick as you light it.

We turn on a TV and he stares at it dumbfounded.

We call this Stargate SG1

* # ¿ Jul 15, 2023 10:21
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

pixaal posted:

we had something similar back in the day, it was called Wormhole X-treme

Make it spin!

* # ¿ Jul 15, 2023 10:31
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# ¿ May 10, 2024 18:35
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redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

emSparkly posted:

Well you can't just poke out someone's eye even if they poked out your eye. You have to file a report with the police and then wait for the eye stabber to get arrested and stand trial, but if he's very wealthy then he might just be able to weasel out of it.

I poked out someone's eye once and the Boston PD really didn't want to file a report.

* # ¿ Jul 15, 2023 10:49
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT we explain modernity to ancient Mesopotamians