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Tonight's chicken was so under cooked that it was pink all the way through. A lot of kids are throwing up or having bad diarrhea. My stomach hurts, but I don't want to tell the councilors because they yelled at the other kids who complained because they were disrespecting church elders. I'm also too young to and scared to tell my parents when I get home [THIS POST IS BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS]
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Jul 16, 2023 07:23
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Fatman6942! posted:Did they have a weird siege mentality about "the world" or "the antichrist" lurking out in "the world" and how they were gods chosen? gist of it is they believe that white people are the lost tribe of israel and god’s real chosen people, and that jewish people are usurpers in satan’s service. they view colonization as the purest expression of christ’s love that could possibly exist i guess you could describe them as having a siege mentality. my family is from much higher up in the chain so it’s not like anyone would ever talk about their worries around me
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Jul 16, 2023 09:00
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My mom made me and my brother go for one week each summer for a few years, but it was just for a few hours a day at the church up the road. Which we never attended. So I was always confused as to why the teachers and other kids cared about some weird dudes from 2000 years ago and their boring stories. We did get to paint faux stained glass as a craft project though, which I was pretty stoked about. At least until I saw it said “Jesus,” which I thought was really lame. (Sorry, Jesus, five-year-old me who never attended church had no idea who you were or why I should care). Anyway, once I turned six or seven I was old enough to go to scout camp, where I got to do cooler crafts and run around in the woods instead of sitting in a damp church basement.
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Jul 16, 2023 09:15
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I went to creepy borderline militant fundie summer camp. The tradition was that, after the last sermon and hymns, the campers would sing “Bubba” before retiring to cabins. It was about one kid asking mom to just shoot their mentally disabled brother, Bubba. Bubba’s transgressions were passing third grade at age 33 and burning down the house trying to cook for the family. The chorus goes: “Mama, don’t whoop little Bubba Mama, don’t pound on his head Mama, don’t whoop little Bubba I think you should shoot him instead.” Every night we would sing it and cheer. I went from ages 10-18. 
Clown Suit Cowboy fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Jul 16, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 09:28
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a snazzy tater posted:I went to creepy borderline militant fundie summer camp. The tradition was that, after the last sermon and hymns, the campers would sing “Bubba” before retiring to cabins. It was about one kid asking mom to just shoot their mentally disabled brother, Bubba. Bubba’s transgressions were passing third grade at age 33 and burning down the house trying to cook for the family. What the gently caress. I mean, it’s an adaptation of “Mama Don’t Whip Little Buford,” which I guess is a good example of humor that has aged poorly, but why have kids singing it every day?
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Jul 16, 2023 09:52
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Dick Fontaine posted:“klan kamp” Busters posted:Tonight's chicken was so under cooked that it was pink all the way through. A lot of kids are throwing up or having bad diarrhea. My stomach hurts, but I don't want to tell the councilors because they yelled at the other kids who complained because they were disrespecting church elders. Oh damm I totally forgot about what happened to my little sister. Despite all my warnings she went on the next trip after mine and came back with severe sunburn all down her back and arms, she had to go on some meds and we had to get my aunt who was a nurse over to help care for the blisters. As bad as that was it wasn't the worst thing that happened to her while in the care of the church, out of respect I'll just say that she had some very good reasons to leave the state and go no contact with my parents.
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Jul 16, 2023 10:07
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coldpudding posted:The way you describe it reminds me of the time I got to ask to a very old German about his time in the hitler youth. that’s pretty cool that you got to meet the pope
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Jul 16, 2023 11:14
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Hey kids!! Don't forget to tell your parents to vote for Trump!
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Jul 16, 2023 11:27
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My only real memory of vacation bible school is we had to sing some song that was like the peter rock rock or something, and they had these inflatable electric guitars for us. But my friend Daniel and I immediately repurposed them as weapons until they took them away. I can't remember anything else and I don't think I went back after that year e: I credit my confirmation w/ turning me atheist because I'd never really thought that hard about it but I was in middle school and had learned about radical ideas like "evolution" and "the earth being billions of years old" and "dinosaurs." I was confirmed at a non-denominational bible church in NOVA (reston bible church), but what that amounted to was a literal reading of the bible, so my confirmation consisted of getting schooled by old men on stuff like how the earth is 6000 years old and if the fossil/geological record says otherwise it is because satan rigged it that way to deceive us. I went through with the confirmation and am still technically a member of the methodist church where I grew up, I think, but that was the point where I realized these people were idiots and just to smile and nod and hold my nose until it was over My mentor gave me a jars of clay cd when it was over poverty goat fucked around with this message at 14:30 on Jul 16, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 14:15
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Sid Vicious posted:more like get molested camp One of the youth staff at my old church brought his best bud along a few times and he started dating one of my friends from the youth group. No one else seemed to think it was weird but I wouldn't shut up about it so they took me into a room and spent like 2 hours explaining to me why this 35 year old dating my 16 year old friend was cool with the Bible and God and goddamn did that kickstart my eventual abandoning of the faith. Really messed me up for a good long time too just being this kid who can clearly tell something is wrong but everyone around me is telling me I'm the one who is wrong, both factually and morally. She eventually married him, had 2 kids, then divorced him after she realized how hosed up everything was. He has full visitation rights though so he can force himself into her life any time he wants to. Hey thanks for bringing this up man The Bible fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Jul 16, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 14:25
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I went to VBS for a few years. We didn't really go anywhere. They'd just lock us in the church, but kind of give us free reign at night. I remember going to the pulpit and messing with the PA system. but I *really* remember making out with Giovanna right next to the baptism bath, or pool, or whatever they call it. dipping station. ****** And a non-VBS memory was sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and the Preacher (southern baptist, whatever they call them) and being asked "Do you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, etc,etc" and I just said "No, I don't believe in it." I was like 12? Something like that. I wasn't admonished or anything but I could tell my mom was disappointed. ... No more make out sessions with Giovanna.  I still had to go to Sunday School for a year or two. I dunno, should I get baptized, like just in case? blight rhino fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Jul 16, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 14:34
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The Bible posted:One of the youth staff at my old church brought his best bud along a few times and he started dating one of my friends from the youth group. I kind of assume at this point these camps are literally and explicitly made for middle aged men to prey on impressionable and confused teens.
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Jul 16, 2023 14:50
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Nelson Mandingo posted:I kind of assume at this point these camps are literally and explicitly made for middle aged men to prey on impressionable and confused teens. That might be religion as a whole. Also for old men to run things in general.
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Jul 16, 2023 14:58
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Nelson Mandingo posted:I kind of assume at this point these camps are literally and explicitly made for middle aged men to prey on impressionable and confused teens. This was just during regular church. The camps are a whole different level of hosed, but thankfully the events surrounding my friend made me very unpopular so all the camp poo poo never happened around me.
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Jul 16, 2023 15:26
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:VBS snacks I remember Hydrox cookies and Kool-Aid. I went to another VBS that was in an actual church (not a creepy neighborhood basement) and that's where I learned how to play kick ball and capture the flag. That was fun. I also remember A LOT of crafts. There were lentils, split peas and beans everywhere. We use to pluck them at each other when the leaders weren't watching. We also made foam boats with Jebus and his 12 homies. The best craft was making the cross from wooden matches. Imagine a dozen elementary school age kids in the parking lot lighting and blowing out wooden matches for about an hour or so. Each cross was made from a couple of dozen matches or more. I'm surprised we didn't burn the place down. One kid made his cross from unlit matches and burned it after the cross was constructed.
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Jul 16, 2023 15:53
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Dick Fontaine posted:gist of it is they believe that white people are the lost tribe of israel and god’s real chosen people, and that jewish people are usurpers in satan’s service. they view colonization as the purest expression of christ’s love that could possibly exist Dang I recently read a book on the civil rights movement and it mentioned one of the klan groups in the Deep South having pretty much that identical theology right down to “something something lost tribe of Israel went to Norway” or whatever. Considering how violent they were it’s not as silly as Native American historians sighing deeply when asked about if bright eyed Mormons have ever dropped by to try to explain how a lost tribe of Israel sailing across the sea fits into their history.
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Jul 16, 2023 16:08
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A kid I was friends with back in middle/high-school was a big VBS/Church activity type and eventually volunteered at the churches down the line to help facilitate those programs. Turns out he was a pedophile that was molesting kids he met through these activities. Whoops! That’s my VBS story and also why my religious mom refuses to send her grandchildren to those things.
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Jul 16, 2023 16:48
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Ars Arcanum posted:What the gently caress. Camp tradition. It was our “reward” after a day of two sermons, three bible classes, sports, and activities. The hundreds of kids in attendance would beg to sing it every night until counselors “gave in.” It was literally printed on the last page of our hymnals. Undoing my cult programming in my 20s was neat.
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Jul 16, 2023 18:31
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vbs sure is a land of contrasts
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Jul 16, 2023 18:50
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Slightly related, I was a true believer and got baptized. I was a kid and when it happened my dad came with me (which is something he never did). I told him how happy I was he came with me. He revealed he wasn’t about to let me change clothes at the church with a pastor he barely knows without my dad being there to keep an eye on things. Good looking out dad!
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Jul 16, 2023 18:59
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blight rhino posted:I dunno, should I get baptized, like just in case? a lot of people think adult baptism is like hedging your bets, but actually it's like betting it all on 17 Black. if your god is the real one, then you win everything, everything in this case being praising the gnostic god for all eternity, no suffering, no disease, no digestion, no food or water or sleep, just singing our god is an awesome god until the heat death of the universe, and possibly a little extra past that. if not, o baby, well just read some other religion's take on hell and that's what you are in for
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Jul 16, 2023 19:07
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I also remembered that we had a small-group meeting with the parish priest before confirmation where we got to ask him questions. I asked something lame about why Catholics have so many rituals and symbols. Looking back, I should've asked why Jesus killed that fig tree. What a weird out of character moment. poverty goat posted:My mentor gave me a jars of clay cd when it was over What's wrong with that? Jars of Clay are decent, and not just decent for Christian rock. "Flood" is probably the one Christian rock song that I've ever listened to on purpose and enjoyed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfAhpX_wIBk
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Jul 16, 2023 19:08
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William Bear posted:What's wrong with that? Jars of Clay are decent, and not just decent for Christian rock. the ignorant, bigoted ideology, mostly. the same reason i don't want to listen to nazi punk, etc
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Jul 16, 2023 20:38
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Fur20 posted:a lot of people think adult baptism is like hedging your bets, but actually it's like betting it all on 17 Black. if your god is the real one, then you win everything, everything in this case being praising the gnostic god for all eternity, no suffering, no disease, no digestion, no food or water or sleep, just singing our god is an awesome god until the heat death of the universe, and possibly a little extra past that. See, I kinda feel similarly but for different reasons. The thing under consideration here is also known as Pascal's Wager which is basically Pascal saying "yeah idk maybe god's real maybe not but if you don't believe it might as well go to church anyway, an hour a week is a pretty low price just in case he is" and I independently figured this one out by the time I was 10. But but the time I was like 12 I realized wait a fukkin second the christian god is supposed to be all-knowing and knows if you believe or not anyway, so wouldn't it be way worse to not believe but pretend you did to try and trick your way into salvation? Took me until high school to get to the really hosed up part, which is that under christian mythology god is also responsible for creating you the way you are i.e. if you don't believe it's because he made you that way so then he's punishing you for something he did and you had no control over. Philosophically this one is called The Problem of Evil.
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Jul 16, 2023 20:43
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At some point in high school I started looking at a a lot of new age books and did some actual research into non new age Hermetics and decided "wow this makes way more sense than Christianity" and that basically ended my Christian streak. Nowadays I still keep some of that stuff in mind just as food for thought and it kinda helps me look at myself and my place in the universe. In the end I don't know if there's any kind of higher power, but if there is, it certainly wouldn't resemble anything described by the Abrahamic religions.
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Jul 16, 2023 21:04
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Mercury_Storm posted:Hey kids!! Don't forget to tell your parents to vote for Trump! The camps I went to sometimes brought out cardboard cutouts of current republican politicians and had us pray "for" them. But it was dangerously close to worshipping them as idols. If you've ever seen the documentary 'Jesus Camp' it is not at all an exaggeration. Busters fucked around with this message at 21:29 on Jul 16, 2023 |
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Jul 16, 2023 21:25
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a snazzy tater posted:Camp tradition. It was our “reward” after a day of two sermons, three bible classes, sports, and activities. The hundreds of kids in attendance would beg to sing it every night until counselors “gave in.” It was literally printed on the last page of our hymnals. Hope you’re doing better now. I had a messy childhood, but weird religion poo poo was thankfully not a big part.
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Jul 16, 2023 23:23
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Busters posted:The camps I went to sometimes brought out cardboard cutouts of current republican politicians and had us pray "for" them. But it was dangerously close to worshipping them as idols. Cardboard idol = OK Golden idol = Bible banned
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Jul 16, 2023 23:35
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aniviron posted:Took me until high school to get to the really hosed up part, which is that under christian mythology god is also responsible for creating you the way you are i.e. if you don't believe it's because he made you that way so then he's punishing you for something he did and you had no control over. Philosophically this one is called The Problem of Evil. Maybe in Calvinism with it's predestination but in most flavors of Christianity the difference between humans and God's other creations is humans have free will. Too bad for that Lucifer guy, they never had a chance.
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Jul 17, 2023 00:18
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poverty goat posted:the ignorant, bigoted ideology, mostly. the same reason i don't want to listen to nazi punk, etc Understandable, I guess. I'm not sure what kind of Christians Jars of Clay are. The last I heard of them, in 2014, the lead singer got in trouble for publicly asking why gay marriage shouldn't be legal. He then kind of backpedaled, but not really on the substance of what he said. https://www.baptistpress.com/resource-library/news/band-moves-forward-after-gay-marriage-flap/
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Jul 17, 2023 00:51
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rock and roll belongs to black people and the devil. if your band can’t muster up even one of those then what the gently caress are you doing? if you have both you got a real shot at being the goat 
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Jul 17, 2023 01:15
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Thought that was Kids in the Hall from the thumbnail
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Jul 17, 2023 01:16
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Any person growing up Christian and going to youth group knows this song https://youtu.be/pNkrvcrpQhU quote:Hold the milk, put back the sugar
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Jul 17, 2023 01:23
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Remember at the start of each day you need to sing Rise and Shine and Give God the Glory Glory becomes you go do arts and crafts.
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Jul 17, 2023 01:24
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One interesting trend in Christian music theme is a lot of rock bands that were sold in Christian music stores have now released explicit albums Underoath Chevelle Zao Evanescence
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Jul 17, 2023 01:31
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That reminds me, Did Papa Roach become a Christian band? I saw just the track names of some of their later stuff and it feels very Jesusy
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Jul 17, 2023 01:35
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:One interesting trend in Christian music theme is a lot of rock bands that were sold in Christian music stores have now released explicit albums Like when Stryper turned to Satan.
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Jul 17, 2023 02:02
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GokuGoesSSj69 posted:Maybe in Calvinism with it's predestination but in most flavors of Christianity the difference between humans and God's other creations is humans have free will. Too bad for that Lucifer guy, they never had a chance. Eh, yes and no. When your options are "blissful eternity with me" or "eternal suffering and agony", you're not really being given an actual choice. If God wanted its followers to have an actual Free Will choice, it would not make a clear reward for one choice and a horrific punishment for the other. That's just coercion.
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Jul 17, 2023 02:13
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William Bear posted:Understandable, I guess. I'm not sure what kind of Christians Jars of Clay are. The last I heard of them, in 2014, the lead singer got in trouble for publicly asking why gay marriage shouldn't be legal. He then kind of backpedaled, but not really on the substance of what he said. They're "don't call us a Christian band" Christians. I'm not religious in the slightest, but I like a lot of Jars of Clay's music. Yeah, some of it gets really Jesus-y but most of it is just good tunes. I don't really know what the band themselves think, because like you said they tweeted something innocuous and got told to zip it by management. They don't typically get many interviews or talk publically on their opinions, which makes me interested if they're secret Nazis or if it would get them ejected from their demographic instantly lol Altho I feel like if they were Nazis they'd just say so and their demo would be fine with that tbh.
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Jul 17, 2023 02:17
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 I was looking at the Jesus Camp summary and Ted Haggart comes up as the main pastor and I'm thinking: "Wait haven't I heard that name before?"Well https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Haggard quote:Teachings on homosexuality quote:On January 23, 2009, less than one week before The Trials of Ted Haggard was released on HBO , officials from Haggard's former church announced that a young male church member had come forward in 2006 and that there was an "overwhelming pool of evidence [of an] inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship [that] went on for a long period of time [with Haggard]... it wasn't a one-time act." Haggard's successor, Brady Boyd, said the church reached a six-figure settlement with the man, who was in his early 20s at the time.[29] According to the man, the contact was "not consensual". yep that checks out Mercury_Storm fucked around with this message at 06:14 on Jul 17, 2023 |
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Jul 17, 2023 06:09
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