really queer Christmas posted:

It's time for everyone in CSPAM to know the pecking list of where you belong. the crews are watching with baited breath, the cliques are getting antsy and rowdy, and the threads are delvolving into another dumb injoke. So check below to see where you are ranked in CSPAM. Don't like it? Mad? Tough, this list is MOD APPROVED as the mods have agreed to submit to me all reports this get so I can rank you even lower and laugh at you when it happens. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.


Gradenko: I'm starting off with an uncontroversial one. An effort poster who makes good jokes. It's good to see, even amongst the shitposting, to see some good posts. Viciously de-ik'd by the QQCS crew™ for making a "retard" joke that was mocking someone else. R-word gang lost a big one that day. A TIER


Al!: Fine poster, get's made IK and suddenly has a little badge to flash at people. Sadly, they made a funny joke and was sat on by fluffdaddy. Now spends their days crying for their star back and wistfully reminding people about the 3 days they had power over others. B TIER


Azatoth: It's hosed up that they let KM back in as an admin under this alt, especially hosed up that they are also fluffdaddy's alt and had to step down because they knew SAD was going to be a big loving disaster. Being an admin that steps down means you do get some points added, but not enough to get the stench of the red star off you. C TIER


Lib and let die: Hey guys, get a load of this cannoli!! He's loving italian!! Did you know that? Of course you did, it's like one of the two posts he makes every day. Despite this crucial misstep, Lib did take a big one on the chin and get doxxed and inadvertently killed a mod and an admin. By laws of the jungle, I have to put him high up on this list. A TIER


Mr. Hootington: Sexist. Murderer. Fortnite player. Hoot's done a lot of cool things and is hated by like half of CSPAM. That usually gets you put either high or low on this list, but as of this post is the 3rd most prolific trump thread poster. That's loving embarrasing, next he's going to become a landlord and get dropped even further down the list. C TIER


Poppers: Who the hell is this person? Some alt of someone, but they did cause some extremely good meltdowns so that gives them points... too bad about the attention seeking. B TIER


CKF: The true beating heart of a poster, and someone who is, as of right now, waiting to be named IK of CSPAM. Good at causing meltdowns, but not quite good enough to take home the gold. A TIER


Lpzie: Didn't like their posts, now banned for fraudulent accusations of domestic assault against someone else. D TIER


Lobster Shirt: Does my bidding. B TIER


Libster poo poo: Trash fire, garbage. mod brained to hell. F TIER


ram dass/crazy cloud: At one point, an absolutely trash poster. However, time truly does heal all wounds, including head wounds apparently. Occasionally seen making funny posts when not posting outside trump thread. B TIER


tman/tokin: Same as above, needs to chill out about recipes though. B TIER


Frosted Flake: 'Oi guv, the queen is gunna manifest communism into law she is. Troop into monarcho-communism who's never played a hoi game, loving tragic. and hilarious. A TIER IN UKRAINE THREAD, D TIER OUTSIDE OF IT


Second hand meat mouth/500gd: Makes a lot of good posts, does a lot of empty quoting. Looking forward to their big breakout post or meltdown post. It's gonna be good stuff. B TIER


AnimeisTrash: The most hated poster in CSPAM, the most ignored poster in CSPAM, and a vegan. Dude literally caused a man to meltdown and post fantasies about eating him from posting pictures of recipes. How could he be anything but S TIER


Xaris: A poster in the mold of gradenko, more effort posts and less funny posts. It takes all kinds in CSPAM. B TIER


16 Bit Butthead: lmao your a cspam poster now, bitch. go back to elon musk thread and defend his honor hahaha S TIER


Speng31b: Was developing dangerous cases of mod-brain, but seems to have begun treatment. Is on the path to being normal again. B tier


lumpentroll: 🖕 B TIER


CODChimera: Don't know you but you quoted me. B TIER


croup coughfield: Good poster, knows about something called marxism which makes him seem enlightened to CSPAM. Makes funny posts and makes people mad and may also be revolver ocelot IRL (unconfirmed). Also has reports that he is an anarchist, which would be a huge blow if proven true, but allegations alone mean he's still in S TIER


The Fyad Glennstersthe list of posters is seemingly endless but also an increasingly small minority of posters that no one has been able to find. but thankfully, a poster was kind enough to provide a full list

A TIER


Tristeham Weird hanger-on cheerleader. B TIER


Ringo Roadagain Very bad poster, learned what a joke was when the dictionary told him to look in the mirror. Not knowing who this poster is means you are lucky. F TIER


COVID thread: Time for a hot take. The COVID thread produces some of the best content the forums have seen. Goon who turned his blood into jam. Goon who wore an inter dimensional time travel suit to Costco, a dude farting into a mask. They never leave the house, or indeed, their computers. It's pure posting, 100% of the time. If you're mad at them? That's right, you're mad at them. They've won. Can't put them in S tier because posters there do like laughing at dead people and can't take a joke. A TIER


SUCC thread: Hey guys, liberals! *studio audience laughs* Uh oh, Joe Biden is at it again!! *studio audience laughs harder, begins clapping* Hey guys, here's a bunch of 0 engagement tweets with liberals!! *studio audience coughs awkwardly, and shifts in chair* C TIER


STEWIE GRIFFIN POLITICS thread: Thread keeps running its course, then somebody does something dumb and makes it worthwhile again. B TIER


DOOMSDAY ECON thread: Computertouchers learning about socialism and sitting around waiting for it to happen while crying about their renters not paying their bills. D TIER


MARXISM thread: A thread to learn about things. I can't judge the thread accurately as I am always 1500 unread posts behind and say I'm going to check on it during lunch but just end up clicking on a shitposting thread. A TIER


GLENN Thread: One of the better threads a few years back, a true thunderdome thread that had decent posts, funny posts, dumb posts to laugh at. The quintessential CSPAM thread. Got worse as David got sick and Glenn became more transphobic and had less to say about foreign policy. C TIER


BIOSPHERE thread: The world's dying you say? Oh, so you're spending the last few moments of it enjoying the world as you can? No? You're posting all day and crying about it? drat, that sure is interesting as gently caress NOT. F TIER


ASIA Thread: Really good thread and has a lot of effort and funny posts. Definitely recommend this and pretty much any regional thread in CSPAM to a lessor degree. S TIER


TRUMP thread: There are so many things you can say about this thread. Called the heart of CSPAM by it's posters, called fail poo poo that should be gassed by its detractors. The one thing that's undeniable though, is how the gently caress do you make a thread about donald trump that's boring and unfunny. D TIER


Blue star havers: Mod brained. Once normal humans, now hallowed out for more computer parts for Jeffery. D TIER


Red star haver: Currently, only Vyelkin. Imagine deciding to be a mod of CSPAM, now imagine deciding you want to be the top dog of the mods. Disgusting. Somehow, still a decent poster and good admin. Can't rate them higher than D on principle though. D TIER


Anarchist posters: It cannot be denied that every single anarchist poster has fail posting energy. It's like a stench that follows them, you just know who they are and it's disgusting. D TIER


Communist posters: Can't rank since there are none in CSPAM.


Liberal posters: They are everywhere and you know who they are. D TIER


Chud posters: Not to be confused with posters who do nothing but post about chuds. True outright Chuds... sadly, they are virtually extinct in CSPAM and have held up in GBS. These guys are great to laugh at and CSPAM needs one or two of these to laugh at. B TIER


posters who do nothing but post about chuds: just stop psoting, you suck rear end F Tier


This list is not fully complete but let's people know where they stand and whether they need to do more emptyqouting of their betters. Top tiers, dont start slacking off and thinking your king. Keep honing your crown lest it fall to the masses.

Xpforr posted:

Aren’t you B tier?

Lib and let die posted:

copy posted:

cspam's been a lot of fun to post in recently. big fan

AnimeIsTrash posted:

its basically gbs if gbs discovered the dsa

World War Mammories posted:

not on it, feeling blessed

really queer Christmas posted:

UPDATE 1

Ok, i have some more time to hammer out a couple more tiers for people who have been wrongly excluded. I will judge them fairly and will certainly not take into account the PMs I have received, the votes which have been revealed, and the reports forwarded to me. Except oh im definitely taking those into account, you were warned.

I also took a look at the last couple of pages of threads that weren't tiered yet to see where to put them.


Homeless Friend: A good poster, was once a self admited hillaryman which usually doesn't bode well for people. But they got through it with the power of good posting, I think this is an easy S TIER


F Stop Fitzgerald: F stop has been in the trenches, saying the R word and making sure women don't feel respected. The croup coup is happy to have him aboard their clique and it shows. A TIER


Zodium: A euro poster, and a dane to boot. Putting them high on the list disgusts me, but they do make good posts and funny posts too. I'll meet them in the middle and give a B TIER


Copy: Good posts, metal gear solid references a plenty, and they've quoted me and said lol or lmao a lot. Very easy way to get up on the rankings. A TIER


Xpforr: Don't know them, but they flipped me off. Was going to give them a D tier, but then they got lump's rear end and I saw in their post history they have quoted me before. B TIER


Paranoid Randroid: I've seen funny posts out of them, also seen whiny ones. I remember their "my ancestors are smiling at me liberal, can you say the same?" post from time to time and smile - which is the hallmark of a good poster. A TIER


Cuttlefush: I've been way too nice. fucker voted this thread a 1 AND his name isn't Cuttlefish! I bet you read it as Cuttlefish, but it aint. It's Cuttlefush. gently caress you, change your name. D TIER


Smarxist: Lord help me on this one, but I have a soft spot for smarxist. Most of the time people are laughing at them, not with them, but he's still posting through it. Being willing to come back from hasta siempre shows a lack of shame, but also a true posting heart. You gotta respect the hustle. A TIER


Shifty Nipples: Your av creeps me out, get a new one. IK of trump thread and yet hasn't gassed the thread yet. Can you trust this poster?? C TIER


genericnick: Used the word "votebrain" D TIER


R. Guyovich/homex

Gusano m ‎(plural gusanos) a worm. an insect larva, such as a grub or caterpillar. a maggot. (Cuba, derogatory) a person who has defected from Cuba.

Nice slur. Rules apply evenly. User loses posting privileges for 1 week.

S TIER


Buck Wildman: Have enjoyed this poster, though cannot think of anything notable off the top of my headB TIER


tenderjerk: Mad? D Tier


Probably Magic: Has posted cringe in DND, but also posted good effort posts. Overall, the dnd cringe needs to be expelled and can rise to the ranks of the good effort posters with a little hardwork and gumption. B TIER


Maed: Don't know who this is, but they promised me they owned someone and then didn't provide the goods when asked. Either they lied or quit reading this thread, don't know which is worse tbh. D TIER


THE US WILL LOSE WW3 thread: It's the good parts of the Ukraine thread, without the horrible inhumane war. A TIER


FUNNY THINGS YOU REMEMBER thread:

A TIER


THE ANIME THREAD

F TIER


POP CULTURE thread: Let me know that Sinéad O’Connor died today C TIER


UFO thread: So let me get this straight. Some dude got in front of congress and said all the conspiracy theories about aliens are real and there's a massive government coverup and conspiracy... and so now you believe the government is telling the truth?? Sounds like Chud behavior to me. C TIER


EPSTEIN thread: Every time i check in they are discussing child trafficking. Probably very good effort posts, but I don't see funny so B TIER MAYBE?


ADJUSTMENTS TO PREVIOUS TIERS


As mentioned, there's been some new developments over the past day. And they need to be addressed so people can feel comfortable where they post.


Croup coughfield: Tried to bribe me into putting him into SS tier, needs to be taught a lesson -> NOW AT A TIER


lumpentroll: Always has been an A-tier poster, and they took their lumps (XD) like a champ. -> NOW AT A TIER


vyelkin Voted this thread a 5 despite being a D tier. Now thats good sportsmanship. Lower ranks, you could learn a thing or two. -> NOW AT C TIER


Mr. Hootington: So, just like lumpentroll, I thought about it this morning and thought I can't put Hoot in C. It was funny to call him a trump thread poster and trump thread lore guy, but let's be real - dude can cause a nuclear meltdown by just posting about fortnite. That's clearly A tier material.... BUT. Despite the facade seen in this thread, sources have revealed to me that hoot was MAD, and even malding about his position. Apparently he planned to have his wife invite me to see the new barbie movie despite being positive for all covid variants at once. This assassination attempt with aerial aids was thankfully foiled when they had to stop to protest against vaccines and support a trump rally on their way through Oklahoma. Attempting to murder other people is funny, attempting to murder me, is just sad. -> NOW AT D TIER

Lobster Shirt: Very conflicted on this one. On one hand, has done my bidding, which is very good and has forwarded me reports to make sure this Tier thread is as accurate as possible. But on the other hand, voted the thread a 4 when their boss, vyelkin, got a LOWER rank and STILL voted the thread a 5. Am I so petty to derank someone for one point? Yes. NOW AT C TIER

I shall try to have one more update to make sure those up and coming new posters can see their name. Things can change and yes, I do accept bribes except if you're in S tier - learn to be grateful with what you have.

CODChimera posted:

a lot of that covid stuff was people loving with the thread. there was also someone who said their teeth fell out or some poo poo idk

tenderjerk posted:

if anything i was scored too high and wish for op (forgot who it was already) to reconsider