ohrwurm posted:

ohrwurm posted:

ohrwurm posted:

2nd72723 posted:

remember when poo poo happened in realtime? remember streaming? remember how twitter was perfect for realtime poo poo?

Pontificating rear end posted:

Hard to tell if schizoposting or knowledgeable

quote:

Senate GOP Leader Mitch McConnell, who froze during a news conference Wednesday and earlier this year suffered a concussion after falling down, has also endured two other falls this year, according to multiple people familiar with the matter.

The first known time, in February, occurred in Finland when McConnell and a US delegation met with the Finnish president in Helsinki, according to three sources familiar with the matter.

FizFashizzle posted:

so basically mitch was on blood thinners for a while. We know this because a couple years ago he was seen just covered in ecchymoses. This was very likely from a fall, likely in the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. That's how old people get hurt; they wake up and trip on something in the dark, or they stand up too fast and get light headed, or they just loving eat poo poo for no reason at all



most common reason for people to be on things like xarelto or eliquis or whatever is cardiac issues. if you have had a heart procedure, or have a fib, or have had a cardioembolic stroke (meaning something from somewhere got into your heart and was pumped into your brain and got stuck in an artery) you are going to be on a blood thinner.

downside of these is that you bleed like hell, and mitch is not a healthy person. he's always looked like complete poo poo and wouldn't have survived childhood without the kind of programs he's spent his whole career destroying. He doesn't walk very well and he catches his foot over anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSiKsMN44go

So in march this year mitch fell and had a "concussion" that required like 10 days in the hospital and an extended stay at an inpatient rehabilitation facility. The news didn't pursue this because the DC press are gutless but this is horseshit. He didn't make any public appearances for months. That's not just a concussion. What almost certainly happened is he fell, hit his head, and had a brain bleed. Basically some vein in the brain gets torn and bleed into a closed space which pushes onto the brain and causes damage. Or it bleeds directly ON to the brain and is very painful and at his age would necessitate a very long recovery. anyway he's on blood thinners, we know this. So he would have bled like a stuck pig.

So at this point patients are faced with an option: you're on blood thinners for some reason. However, you can't stay on your feet anymore because of how lovely you are at walking. Do you...

a.) fall and risk dying of a subdural hematoma before you can reach your life alert or
b.) go off the thinners and risk a stroke/cardiac arrest

comedy option

c.) use a scooter/wheelchair and stay on thinners but mitch would never do that because he's a politician

mitch probably transitioned off blood thinners and is using something like aspirin monotherapy (blocks platelets, not the clotting cascade which you have to learn in school exactly once unless you're a sicko that goes into heme/onc)

now, what's a TIA? This is a transient ischemic attack where for whatever reason, small blockage or vasospasm, an artery in the brain stops pumping blood and there is a brief stroke like event. think all the symptoms of a stroke but they generally resolve within an hour. TIAs are a huge blinking red light that you are about to have a bigger stroke. 1 out of 5 will die from a stroke or heart attack within the year.

Did he have a stroke? Know your signs!



Now mitch has poo poo balance at baseline, but you can kinda see him wobble to his left and he is gripping that podium for dear life with his right hand. Sure looks like a loss of balance.

https://twitter.com/RaquelMartinTV/status/1684263785542844433?s=20

He also clearly loses the ability to speak. 99% of strokes hit either the right or left side. right side of the brain is going to cause deficits to the left side, but also to speech. At the very least, that's transient aphasia, and is a textbook "stroke like symptom." Strokes don't have to impact the entire side (called dense hemiplegia), they can impact only the face, or the arm, or speech, or sensation etc. This was clearly not a massive stroke, but it was definitely something that warranted an immediate trip to walter reed. can't have that though.

https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/1684262849361608784?s=20

mcconnell is a huge fall risk on a good day and his face looks awful, but loss of the nasal labial fold (facial droop) is not that sensitive of a stroke symptom. but look at that left hand just shoved in a pocket. doesn't that look just desperately intentional? doesn't that remind you of john mccain walking around holding a single pen?

and of course plenty of former cowards are smelling blood and coming out to knife him.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/27/politics/mitch-mcconnell-multiple-falls-this-year/index.html

Part of me thinks he's lying about his fall frequency, but the other part thinks this is probably true because I don't think he can survive a bad fall, and I mean this literally.

McConnell's generation has benefited from incredible advances in medical technology. Heart disease used to kill you dead in your fifties, but we can stop cholesterol from forming and go in and roto rooter out your arteries if we need to. hypertension used to blow out your kidneys but we can control BP and keep your renal system functioning and hell even cruises have dialysis these days.

but mitch is now to the point where so many wealthy, privileged silents and boomers (shut up willa I'm just using those designators for convenience) eventually get to; they are refused the chance a dignified death, and instead keep trying to juggle all these health concerns with different medications with contradictory side effects just so they can squeeze out one more day.

blood pressure meds? makes you light headed, risk for syncope and fall
diuretics? gently caress with your potassium
blood thinners? bleed risk
donepezil (alzheimer's drug)? hallucinations, vivid dreams, GI risks

how will mitch die? we'll never know for sure. it'll be a "health problem" and all the dems will come together with the GOP and rename the senate building after him or something. they're both going to be similar though

1. he will wake up in the night needing to pee. this happens every two hours anyway but this time it's because he has a blocked artery in his brain and his body is jacking up his blood pressure to try to increase perfusion and his kidneys are like "oh poo poo go pee" and he will go to try to stand and one side of his body will not work and he will collapse to the ground. he will piss and poo poo himself while he is rushed to the hospital and they will not be able to use clot busting medication because he is too much at risk for what's called hemorrhagic conversion. But say elaine chao insists they do it and he started bleeding out everywhere and some neuro icu nurse notices he has a fixed, dilated left pupil and his brain is pushed through the hole at the base of his skull and that's that. or they go up and try to get the clot with basically a rotorooter and pierce the artery to hell anyway

OR

2. he's going to catch his foot on a carpet, or a threshold entering a room, and he's going to fall forward with his hands outstretched. He's going to break his distal radius and ulna, and he's going to break his hip. he will either require a massive infusion on the operating table or he will suffer numerous strokes during the procedure. his surgery will be declared a total success but when the PT eval comes they notice that uh his right arm isn't working anymore. Mitch will go to talk but all that comes out are moans and groans. speech therapy evaluates him and realizes he can't swallow anymore. he will have a couple days trapped in his own rotting, poo poo covered body before all of a sudden he starts getting more and more agitated. someone notices his fever is spiking and his ABG looks like poo poo and they do a chest xray and notice infiltrates. mitch will eventually drift away into delirium. he'll eventually die of aspiration pneumonia on a ventilator because he can no longer clear his secretions. he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

FizFashizzle posted:

so basically mitch was on blood thinners for a while. We know this because a couple years ago he was seen just covered in ecchymoses. This was very likely from a fall, likely in the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. That's how old people get hurt; they wake up and trip on something in the dark, or they stand up too fast and get light headed, or they just loving eat poo poo for no reason at all



most common reason for people to be on things like xarelto or eliquis or whatever is cardiac issues. if you have had a heart procedure, or have a fib, or have had a cardioembolic stroke (meaning something from somewhere got into your heart and was pumped into your brain and got stuck in an artery) you are going to be on a blood thinner.

downside of these is that you bleed like hell, and mitch is not a healthy person. he's always looked like complete poo poo and wouldn't have survived childhood without the kind of programs he's spent his whole career destroying. He doesn't walk very well and he catches his foot over anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSiKsMN44go

So in march this year mitch fell and had a "concussion" that required like 10 days in the hospital and an extended stay at an inpatient rehabilitation facility. The news didn't pursue this because the DC press are gutless but this is horseshit. He didn't make any public appearances for months. That's not just a concussion. What almost certainly happened is he fell, hit his head, and had a brain bleed. Basically some vein in the brain gets torn and bleed into a closed space which pushes onto the brain and causes damage. Or it bleeds directly ON to the brain and is very painful and at his age would necessitate a very long recovery. anyway he's on blood thinners, we know this. So he would have bled like a stuck pig.

So at this point patients are faced with an option: you're on blood thinners for some reason. However, you can't stay on your feet anymore because of how lovely you are at walking. Do you...

a.) fall and risk dying of a subdural hematoma before you can reach your life alert or
b.) go off the thinners and risk a stroke/cardiac arrest

comedy option

c.) use a scooter/wheelchair and stay on thinners but mitch would never do that because he's a politician

mitch probably transitioned off blood thinners and is using something like aspirin monotherapy (blocks platelets, not the clotting cascade which you have to learn in school exactly once unless you're a sicko that goes into heme/onc)

now, what's a TIA? This is a transient ischemic attack where for whatever reason, small blockage or vasospasm, an artery in the brain stops pumping blood and there is a brief stroke like event. think all the symptoms of a stroke but they generally resolve within an hour. TIAs are a huge blinking red light that you are about to have a bigger stroke. 1 out of 5 will die from a stroke or heart attack within the year.

Did he have a stroke? Know your signs!



Now mitch has poo poo balance at baseline, but you can kinda see him wobble to his left and he is gripping that podium for dear life with his right hand. Sure looks like a loss of balance.

https://twitter.com/RaquelMartinTV/status/1684263785542844433?s=20

He also clearly loses the ability to speak. 99% of strokes hit either the right or left side. right side of the brain is going to cause deficits to the left side, but also to speech. At the very least, that's transient aphasia, and is a textbook "stroke like symptom." Strokes don't have to impact the entire side (called dense hemiplegia), they can impact only the face, or the arm, or speech, or sensation etc. This was clearly not a massive stroke, but it was definitely something that warranted an immediate trip to walter reed. can't have that though.

https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/1684262849361608784?s=20

mcconnell is a huge fall risk on a good day and his face looks awful, but loss of the nasal labial fold (facial droop) is not that sensitive of a stroke symptom. but look at that left hand just shoved in a pocket. doesn't that look just desperately intentional? doesn't that remind you of john mccain walking around holding a single pen?

and of course plenty of former cowards are smelling blood and coming out to knife him.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/27/politics/mitch-mcconnell-multiple-falls-this-year/index.html

Part of me thinks he's lying about his fall frequency, but the other part thinks this is probably true because I don't think he can survive a bad fall, and I mean this literally.

McConnell's generation has benefited from incredible advances in medical technology. Heart disease used to kill you dead in your fifties, but we can stop cholesterol from forming and go in and roto rooter out your arteries if we need to. hypertension used to blow out your kidneys but we can control BP and keep your renal system functioning and hell even cruises have dialysis these days.

but mitch is now to the point where so many wealthy, privileged silents and boomers (shut up willa I'm just using those designators for convenience) eventually get to; they are refused the chance a dignified death, and instead keep trying to juggle all these health concerns with different medications with contradictory side effects just so they can squeeze out one more day.

blood pressure meds? makes you light headed, risk for syncope and fall
diuretics? gently caress with your potassium
blood thinners? bleed risk
donepezil (alzheimer's drug)? hallucinations, vivid dreams, GI risks

how will mitch die? we'll never know for sure. it'll be a "health problem" and all the dems will come together with the GOP and rename the senate building after him or something. they're both going to be similar though

1. he will wake up in the night needing to pee. this happens every two hours anyway but this time it's because he has a blocked artery in his brain and his body is jacking up his blood pressure to try to increase perfusion and his kidneys are like "oh poo poo go pee" and he will go to try to stand and one side of his body will not work and he will collapse to the ground. he will piss and poo poo himself while he is rushed to the hospital and they will not be able to use clot busting medication because he is too much at risk for what's called hemorrhagic conversion. But say elaine chao insists they do it and he started bleeding out everywhere and some neuro icu nurse notices he has a fixed, dilated left pupil and his brain is pushed through the hole at the base of his skull and that's that. or they go up and try to get the clot with basically a rotorooter and pierce the artery to hell anyway

OR

2. he's going to catch his foot on a carpet, or a threshold entering a room, and he's going to fall forward with his hands outstretched. He's going to break his distal radius and ulna, and he's going to break his hip. he will either require a massive infusion on the operating table or he will suffer numerous strokes during the procedure. his surgery will be declared a total success but when the PT eval comes they notice that uh his right arm isn't working anymore. Mitch will go to talk but all that comes out are moans and groans. speech therapy evaluates him and realizes he can't swallow anymore. he will have a couple days trapped in his own rotting, poo poo covered body before all of a sudden he starts getting more and more agitated. someone notices his fever is spiking and his ABG looks like poo poo and they do a chest xray and notice infiltrates. mitch will eventually drift away into delirium. he'll eventually die of aspiration pneumonia on a ventilator because he can no longer clear his secretions. he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

Zeroisanumber posted:

I like knowing that he's slowly spiraling into death. Thanks for this.

Zeroisanumber posted:

I like knowing that he's slowly spiraling into death. Thanks for this.

Zeroisanumber posted:

I like knowing that he's slowly spiraling into death. Thanks for this.

FizFashizzle posted:

so basically mitch was on blood thinners for a while. We know this because a couple years ago he was seen just covered in ecchymoses. This was very likely from a fall, likely in the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. That's how old people get hurt; they wake up and trip on something in the dark, or they stand up too fast and get light headed, or they just loving eat poo poo for no reason at all



most common reason for people to be on things like xarelto or eliquis or whatever is cardiac issues. if you have had a heart procedure, or have a fib, or have had a cardioembolic stroke (meaning something from somewhere got into your heart and was pumped into your brain and got stuck in an artery) you are going to be on a blood thinner.

downside of these is that you bleed like hell, and mitch is not a healthy person. he's always looked like complete poo poo and wouldn't have survived childhood without the kind of programs he's spent his whole career destroying. He doesn't walk very well and he catches his foot over anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSiKsMN44go

So in march this year mitch fell and had a "concussion" that required like 10 days in the hospital and an extended stay at an inpatient rehabilitation facility. The news didn't pursue this because the DC press are gutless but this is horseshit. He didn't make any public appearances for months. That's not just a concussion. What almost certainly happened is he fell, hit his head, and had a brain bleed. Basically some vein in the brain gets torn and bleed into a closed space which pushes onto the brain and causes damage. Or it bleeds directly ON to the brain and is very painful and at his age would necessitate a very long recovery. anyway he's on blood thinners, we know this. So he would have bled like a stuck pig.

So at this point patients are faced with an option: you're on blood thinners for some reason. However, you can't stay on your feet anymore because of how lovely you are at walking. Do you...

a.) fall and risk dying of a subdural hematoma before you can reach your life alert or
b.) go off the thinners and risk a stroke/cardiac arrest

comedy option

c.) use a scooter/wheelchair and stay on thinners but mitch would never do that because he's a politician

mitch probably transitioned off blood thinners and is using something like aspirin monotherapy (blocks platelets, not the clotting cascade which you have to learn in school exactly once unless you're a sicko that goes into heme/onc)

now, what's a TIA? This is a transient ischemic attack where for whatever reason, small blockage or vasospasm, an artery in the brain stops pumping blood and there is a brief stroke like event. think all the symptoms of a stroke but they generally resolve within an hour. TIAs are a huge blinking red light that you are about to have a bigger stroke. 1 out of 5 will die from a stroke or heart attack within the year.

Did he have a stroke? Know your signs!



Now mitch has poo poo balance at baseline, but you can kinda see him wobble to his left and he is gripping that podium for dear life with his right hand. Sure looks like a loss of balance.

https://twitter.com/RaquelMartinTV/status/1684263785542844433?s=20

He also clearly loses the ability to speak. 99% of strokes hit either the right or left side. right side of the brain is going to cause deficits to the left side, but also to speech. At the very least, that's transient aphasia, and is a textbook "stroke like symptom." Strokes don't have to impact the entire side (called dense hemiplegia), they can impact only the face, or the arm, or speech, or sensation etc. This was clearly not a massive stroke, but it was definitely something that warranted an immediate trip to walter reed. can't have that though.

https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/1684262849361608784?s=20

mcconnell is a huge fall risk on a good day and his face looks awful, but loss of the nasal labial fold (facial droop) is not that sensitive of a stroke symptom. but look at that left hand just shoved in a pocket. doesn't that look just desperately intentional? doesn't that remind you of john mccain walking around holding a single pen?

and of course plenty of former cowards are smelling blood and coming out to knife him.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/27/politics/mitch-mcconnell-multiple-falls-this-year/index.html

Part of me thinks he's lying about his fall frequency, but the other part thinks this is probably true because I don't think he can survive a bad fall, and I mean this literally.

McConnell's generation has benefited from incredible advances in medical technology. Heart disease used to kill you dead in your fifties, but we can stop cholesterol from forming and go in and roto rooter out your arteries if we need to. hypertension used to blow out your kidneys but we can control BP and keep your renal system functioning and hell even cruises have dialysis these days.

but mitch is now to the point where so many wealthy, privileged silents and boomers (shut up willa I'm just using those designators for convenience) eventually get to; they are refused the chance a dignified death, and instead keep trying to juggle all these health concerns with different medications with contradictory side effects just so they can squeeze out one more day.

blood pressure meds? makes you light headed, risk for syncope and fall
diuretics? gently caress with your potassium
blood thinners? bleed risk
donepezil (alzheimer's drug)? hallucinations, vivid dreams, GI risks

how will mitch die? we'll never know for sure. it'll be a "health problem" and all the dems will come together with the GOP and rename the senate building after him or something. they're both going to be similar though

1. he will wake up in the night needing to pee. this happens every two hours anyway but this time it's because he has a blocked artery in his brain and his body is jacking up his blood pressure to try to increase perfusion and his kidneys are like "oh poo poo go pee" and he will go to try to stand and one side of his body will not work and he will collapse to the ground. he will piss and poo poo himself while he is rushed to the hospital and they will not be able to use clot busting medication because he is too much at risk for what's called hemorrhagic conversion. But say elaine chao insists they do it and he started bleeding out everywhere and some neuro icu nurse notices he has a fixed, dilated left pupil and his brain is pushed through the hole at the base of his skull and that's that. or they go up and try to get the clot with basically a rotorooter and pierce the artery to hell anyway

OR

2. he's going to catch his foot on a carpet, or a threshold entering a room, and he's going to fall forward with his hands outstretched. He's going to break his distal radius and ulna, and he's going to break his hip. he will either require a massive infusion on the operating table or he will suffer numerous strokes during the procedure. his surgery will be declared a total success but when the PT eval comes they notice that uh his right arm isn't working anymore. Mitch will go to talk but all that comes out are moans and groans. speech therapy evaluates him and realizes he can't swallow anymore. he will have a couple days trapped in his own rotting, poo poo covered body before all of a sudden he starts getting more and more agitated. someone notices his fever is spiking and his ABG looks like poo poo and they do a chest xray and notice infiltrates. mitch will eventually drift away into delirium. he'll eventually die of aspiration pneumonia on a ventilator because he can no longer clear his secretions. he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

Spergin Morlock posted:

Spergin Morlock posted:

Soapy_Bumslap posted:

You expect me to believe that the man who controlled the entire us government for 10 years can't control his own bowels????!?

FizFashizzle posted:

so basically mitch was on blood thinners for a while. We know this because a couple years ago he was seen just covered in ecchymoses. This was very likely from a fall, likely in the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. That's how old people get hurt; they wake up and trip on something in the dark, or they stand up too fast and get light headed, or they just loving eat poo poo for no reason at all



most common reason for people to be on things like xarelto or eliquis or whatever is cardiac issues. if you have had a heart procedure, or have a fib, or have had a cardioembolic stroke (meaning something from somewhere got into your heart and was pumped into your brain and got stuck in an artery) you are going to be on a blood thinner.

downside of these is that you bleed like hell, and mitch is not a healthy person. he's always looked like complete poo poo and wouldn't have survived childhood without the kind of programs he's spent his whole career destroying. He doesn't walk very well and he catches his foot over anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSiKsMN44go

So in march this year mitch fell and had a "concussion" that required like 10 days in the hospital and an extended stay at an inpatient rehabilitation facility. The news didn't pursue this because the DC press are gutless but this is horseshit. He didn't make any public appearances for months. That's not just a concussion. What almost certainly happened is he fell, hit his head, and had a brain bleed. Basically some vein in the brain gets torn and bleed into a closed space which pushes onto the brain and causes damage. Or it bleeds directly ON to the brain and is very painful and at his age would necessitate a very long recovery. anyway he's on blood thinners, we know this. So he would have bled like a stuck pig.

So at this point patients are faced with an option: you're on blood thinners for some reason. However, you can't stay on your feet anymore because of how lovely you are at walking. Do you...

a.) fall and risk dying of a subdural hematoma before you can reach your life alert or
b.) go off the thinners and risk a stroke/cardiac arrest

comedy option

c.) use a scooter/wheelchair and stay on thinners but mitch would never do that because he's a politician

mitch probably transitioned off blood thinners and is using something like aspirin monotherapy (blocks platelets, not the clotting cascade which you have to learn in school exactly once unless you're a sicko that goes into heme/onc)

now, what's a TIA? This is a transient ischemic attack where for whatever reason, small blockage or vasospasm, an artery in the brain stops pumping blood and there is a brief stroke like event. think all the symptoms of a stroke but they generally resolve within an hour. TIAs are a huge blinking red light that you are about to have a bigger stroke. 1 out of 5 will die from a stroke or heart attack within the year.

Did he have a stroke? Know your signs!



Now mitch has poo poo balance at baseline, but you can kinda see him wobble to his left and he is gripping that podium for dear life with his right hand. Sure looks like a loss of balance.

https://twitter.com/RaquelMartinTV/status/1684263785542844433?s=20

He also clearly loses the ability to speak. 99% of strokes hit either the right or left side. right side of the brain is going to cause deficits to the left side, but also to speech. At the very least, that's transient aphasia, and is a textbook "stroke like symptom." Strokes don't have to impact the entire side (called dense hemiplegia), they can impact only the face, or the arm, or speech, or sensation etc. This was clearly not a massive stroke, but it was definitely something that warranted an immediate trip to walter reed. can't have that though.

https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/1684262849361608784?s=20

mcconnell is a huge fall risk on a good day and his face looks awful, but loss of the nasal labial fold (facial droop) is not that sensitive of a stroke symptom. but look at that left hand just shoved in a pocket. doesn't that look just desperately intentional? doesn't that remind you of john mccain walking around holding a single pen?

and of course plenty of former cowards are smelling blood and coming out to knife him.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/27/politics/mitch-mcconnell-multiple-falls-this-year/index.html

Part of me thinks he's lying about his fall frequency, but the other part thinks this is probably true because I don't think he can survive a bad fall, and I mean this literally.

McConnell's generation has benefited from incredible advances in medical technology. Heart disease used to kill you dead in your fifties, but we can stop cholesterol from forming and go in and roto rooter out your arteries if we need to. hypertension used to blow out your kidneys but we can control BP and keep your renal system functioning and hell even cruises have dialysis these days.

but mitch is now to the point where so many wealthy, privileged silents and boomers (shut up willa I'm just using those designators for convenience) eventually get to; they are refused the chance a dignified death, and instead keep trying to juggle all these health concerns with different medications with contradictory side effects just so they can squeeze out one more day.

blood pressure meds? makes you light headed, risk for syncope and fall
diuretics? gently caress with your potassium
blood thinners? bleed risk
donepezil (alzheimer's drug)? hallucinations, vivid dreams, GI risks

how will mitch die? we'll never know for sure. it'll be a "health problem" and all the dems will come together with the GOP and rename the senate building after him or something. they're both going to be similar though

1. he will wake up in the night needing to pee. this happens every two hours anyway but this time it's because he has a blocked artery in his brain and his body is jacking up his blood pressure to try to increase perfusion and his kidneys are like "oh poo poo go pee" and he will go to try to stand and one side of his body will not work and he will collapse to the ground. he will piss and poo poo himself while he is rushed to the hospital and they will not be able to use clot busting medication because he is too much at risk for what's called hemorrhagic conversion. But say elaine chao insists they do it and he started bleeding out everywhere and some neuro icu nurse notices he has a fixed, dilated left pupil and his brain is pushed through the hole at the base of his skull and that's that. or they go up and try to get the clot with basically a rotorooter and pierce the artery to hell anyway

OR

2. he's going to catch his foot on a carpet, or a threshold entering a room, and he's going to fall forward with his hands outstretched. He's going to break his distal radius and ulna, and he's going to break his hip. he will either require a massive infusion on the operating table or he will suffer numerous strokes during the procedure. his surgery will be declared a total success but when the PT eval comes they notice that uh his right arm isn't working anymore. Mitch will go to talk but all that comes out are moans and groans. speech therapy evaluates him and realizes he can't swallow anymore. he will have a couple days trapped in his own rotting, poo poo covered body before all of a sudden he starts getting more and more agitated. someone notices his fever is spiking and his ABG looks like poo poo and they do a chest xray and notice infiltrates. mitch will eventually drift away into delirium. he'll eventually die of aspiration pneumonia on a ventilator because he can no longer clear his secretions. he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

FizFashizzle posted:

so basically mitch was on blood thinners for a while. We know this because a couple years ago he was seen just covered in ecchymoses. This was very likely from a fall, likely in the bathroom or something in the middle of the night. That's how old people get hurt; they wake up and trip on something in the dark, or they stand up too fast and get light headed, or they just loving eat poo poo for no reason at all



most common reason for people to be on things like xarelto or eliquis or whatever is cardiac issues. if you have had a heart procedure, or have a fib, or have had a cardioembolic stroke (meaning something from somewhere got into your heart and was pumped into your brain and got stuck in an artery) you are going to be on a blood thinner.

downside of these is that you bleed like hell, and mitch is not a healthy person. he's always looked like complete poo poo and wouldn't have survived childhood without the kind of programs he's spent his whole career destroying. He doesn't walk very well and he catches his foot over anything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSiKsMN44go

So in march this year mitch fell and had a "concussion" that required like 10 days in the hospital and an extended stay at an inpatient rehabilitation facility. The news didn't pursue this because the DC press are gutless but this is horseshit. He didn't make any public appearances for months. That's not just a concussion. What almost certainly happened is he fell, hit his head, and had a brain bleed. Basically some vein in the brain gets torn and bleed into a closed space which pushes onto the brain and causes damage. Or it bleeds directly ON to the brain and is very painful and at his age would necessitate a very long recovery. anyway he's on blood thinners, we know this. So he would have bled like a stuck pig.

So at this point patients are faced with an option: you're on blood thinners for some reason. However, you can't stay on your feet anymore because of how lovely you are at walking. Do you...

a.) fall and risk dying of a subdural hematoma before you can reach your life alert or
b.) go off the thinners and risk a stroke/cardiac arrest

comedy option

c.) use a scooter/wheelchair and stay on thinners but mitch would never do that because he's a politician

mitch probably transitioned off blood thinners and is using something like aspirin monotherapy (blocks platelets, not the clotting cascade which you have to learn in school exactly once unless you're a sicko that goes into heme/onc)

now, what's a TIA? This is a transient ischemic attack where for whatever reason, small blockage or vasospasm, an artery in the brain stops pumping blood and there is a brief stroke like event. think all the symptoms of a stroke but they generally resolve within an hour. TIAs are a huge blinking red light that you are about to have a bigger stroke. 1 out of 5 will die from a stroke or heart attack within the year.

Did he have a stroke? Know your signs!



Now mitch has poo poo balance at baseline, but you can kinda see him wobble to his left and he is gripping that podium for dear life with his right hand. Sure looks like a loss of balance.

https://twitter.com/RaquelMartinTV/status/1684263785542844433?s=20

He also clearly loses the ability to speak. 99% of strokes hit either the right or left side. right side of the brain is going to cause deficits to the left side, but also to speech. At the very least, that's transient aphasia, and is a textbook "stroke like symptom." Strokes don't have to impact the entire side (called dense hemiplegia), they can impact only the face, or the arm, or speech, or sensation etc. This was clearly not a massive stroke, but it was definitely something that warranted an immediate trip to walter reed. can't have that though.

https://twitter.com/frankthorp/status/1684262849361608784?s=20

mcconnell is a huge fall risk on a good day and his face looks awful, but loss of the nasal labial fold (facial droop) is not that sensitive of a stroke symptom. but look at that left hand just shoved in a pocket. doesn't that look just desperately intentional? doesn't that remind you of john mccain walking around holding a single pen?

and of course plenty of former cowards are smelling blood and coming out to knife him.

https://www.cnn.com/2023/07/27/politics/mitch-mcconnell-multiple-falls-this-year/index.html

Part of me thinks he's lying about his fall frequency, but the other part thinks this is probably true because I don't think he can survive a bad fall, and I mean this literally.

McConnell's generation has benefited from incredible advances in medical technology. Heart disease used to kill you dead in your fifties, but we can stop cholesterol from forming and go in and roto rooter out your arteries if we need to. hypertension used to blow out your kidneys but we can control BP and keep your renal system functioning and hell even cruises have dialysis these days.

but mitch is now to the point where so many wealthy, privileged silents and boomers (shut up willa I'm just using those designators for convenience) eventually get to; they are refused the chance a dignified death, and instead keep trying to juggle all these health concerns with different medications with contradictory side effects just so they can squeeze out one more day.

blood pressure meds? makes you light headed, risk for syncope and fall
diuretics? gently caress with your potassium
blood thinners? bleed risk
donepezil (alzheimer's drug)? hallucinations, vivid dreams, GI risks

how will mitch die? we'll never know for sure. it'll be a "health problem" and all the dems will come together with the GOP and rename the senate building after him or something. they're both going to be similar though

1. he will wake up in the night needing to pee. this happens every two hours anyway but this time it's because he has a blocked artery in his brain and his body is jacking up his blood pressure to try to increase perfusion and his kidneys are like "oh poo poo go pee" and he will go to try to stand and one side of his body will not work and he will collapse to the ground. he will piss and poo poo himself while he is rushed to the hospital and they will not be able to use clot busting medication because he is too much at risk for what's called hemorrhagic conversion. But say elaine chao insists they do it and he started bleeding out everywhere and some neuro icu nurse notices he has a fixed, dilated left pupil and his brain is pushed through the hole at the base of his skull and that's that. or they go up and try to get the clot with basically a rotorooter and pierce the artery to hell anyway

OR

2. he's going to catch his foot on a carpet, or a threshold entering a room, and he's going to fall forward with his hands outstretched. He's going to break his distal radius and ulna, and he's going to break his hip. he will either require a massive infusion on the operating table or he will suffer numerous strokes during the procedure. his surgery will be declared a total success but when the PT eval comes they notice that uh his right arm isn't working anymore. Mitch will go to talk but all that comes out are moans and groans. speech therapy evaluates him and realizes he can't swallow anymore. he will have a couple days trapped in his own rotting, poo poo covered body before all of a sudden he starts getting more and more agitated. someone notices his fever is spiking and his ABG looks like poo poo and they do a chest xray and notice infiltrates. mitch will eventually drift away into delirium. he'll eventually die of aspiration pneumonia on a ventilator because he can no longer clear his secretions. he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

2nd72723 posted:

remember when poo poo happened in realtime? remember streaming? remember how twitter was perfect for realtime poo poo?

ArmZ posted:

Oglethorpe posted:

is he dead

FizFashizzle posted:

he'll be effectively dead for days as GOP poo poo heads lie about just having spoke to him via text or whatever. when they finally call it, he'll have a tube up his dick, down his throat, and be covered in his own diarrhea from the feeding tube

and that will be the story of mitch

Now excuse me I need to go round

tristeham posted:

i wont read this