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> set the grave on fire with copious amounts of gasoline and lit matches
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Jul 28, 2023 17:54
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> mosey on back home while pondering the meaning of life, death, and buckwheat
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Jul 28, 2023 18:07
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> open casket to find out if your mother got buried with her precious diamond necklace
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Jul 28, 2023 18:36
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>SMELL casket
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Jul 28, 2023 19:16
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>ENLARGE Mother
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Jul 28, 2023 19:47
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> think about the uncanny resemblance between ma and the wife
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Jul 28, 2023 19:52
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>change lifestyle
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Jul 28, 2023 19:53
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>Farm. That's what we know. That's what we do. OUR HOUSE BEING ON FIRE WILL WORK ITSELF OUT.
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Jul 28, 2023 20:06
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>Become the city slicker you've always wanted to be.
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Jul 28, 2023 20:50
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>plant strange and alien looking vegetables
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Jul 28, 2023 20:55
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Grey Cat posted:>plant strange and alien looking vegetables Now just wait a minute... you're going to dig your old Ma's grave up, sob like a big baby while dumping her back in, and now you just want to go home? What would she think about THAT? Certainly nothing nice. Just cause it's getting dark out don't mean there ain't work in the fields to be done.  You scramble to locate another project when you remember you had been plucking the results of some rather strange seeds earlier--freaky jagged things. You pick right back up where you had started before--tearing these freak abominations out from the dirt while sowing the seeds for a generation more. You're not really sure what sort of price crops like these fetch in Cashin City, but you never know what the truck driver'll say. Whew... you've lost track of time. It's dark... really dark out. You're not sure you stand a chance at all of making it back home to the missus at this rate. You've an awful feeling you'll wake up to being the center of a missing person's search. What do you do? >
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Aug 2, 2023 03:03
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>SEDUCE the missus
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Aug 2, 2023 03:07
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>lie on ground on your back and cross your arms over your chest and go to sleep.
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Aug 2, 2023 03:48
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> go north
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Aug 2, 2023 14:07
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Hyrax Attack! posted:>lie on ground on your back and cross your arms over your chest and go to sleep. No good. Just no good. No matter how hard you scan the dark around you, you can't make out the light of your farmhouse. With the night weighing so heavily down onto your fields, you assume the worst: your family's all plumb gone to bed. Maybe you should, too, you think, and that's how you end up with your back against the grass and eyes up towards the moon.  You won't waste time bellyaching--this isn't your first rodeo with impromptu outdoor camping on account of all those times Ma kicked you out from the barn. Well that and... your cowboy adventures, of course. You remember 'em well, riding your stick horse around the fields and sleeping under the stars. Ma'd never ask where you'd been once you'd return home in the morning--she'd just hand you a shovel and shove you right back out the door to work. Those were the days, then. You're getting awfully tired... your eyes can't...zzz.... zzzzzz....... ... What do you dream of? >
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Aug 2, 2023 19:23
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>DREAM of pancakes
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Aug 2, 2023 19:24
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> These weird bladed carrots
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Aug 2, 2023 19:52
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naem posted:>DREAM of pancakes YOU ARE A PANCAKE FARMER...  You've been farming hotcakes for awhile. It's just what you do. It's what your mother did, too, and her father... but not her mother, who's probably scrambling eggs in Pancake Palace. You don't go to Pancake Palace. A truck comes and takes your breakfast every so often and you get a syrupy wet check in the mail a little while later. That's how it's always been. You like that set up, minus the syrup. You've been hard at work. When aren't you? But the sun today sure feels ominous. Did the missus remember to take her biscuits out from the oven? It'd be a waste otherwise. You wonder if she's making brunch. Sure are hungry. You don't think there's much else you can do out here right now, not without a cold glass of milk straight from the cow's teet. But then again, would Ma drink the same? You aren't too sure... What do you do? >
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Aug 4, 2023 20:44
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> evaluate the closest and most menacing threat to your pancake empire, and take appropriate action to neutralize said threat
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Aug 4, 2023 21:11
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> kick over a bottle of syrup
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Aug 4, 2023 21:23
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> eat 15 pancakes, divorce the Missus, eat 30 pancakes
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Aug 4, 2023 21:45
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> grope pancake
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Aug 4, 2023 21:54
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>cast ENLARGE the Missus
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Aug 5, 2023 01:39
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> find a bunny and put a pancake on its head
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Aug 7, 2023 07:12
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>Dreams are for liberals, this is a waste of time and it's time to get back to work. Wake up and start packing your poo poo into a backpack.
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Aug 7, 2023 07:26
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>Go to barn
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Aug 7, 2023 07:32
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> suck milk straight from cow's teat
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Aug 7, 2023 08:50
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Szechwan posted:>Dreams are for liberals, this is a waste of time and it's time to get back to work. Wake up and start packing your poo poo into a backpack.  You awake to find yourself a victim of the liberal agenda! Not only did they induce you into an inexplicably long slumber, but the democrats sunk the sun down near into the horizon as well. It's either that or you worked yourself to the point of exhaustion and paid the price for it... you'll have to consult a few AM radio stations later to decide for sure. If the missus wasn't sore over you missing yesterday's supper, she'll be surely raising hell over tonight's. Your crops're accounted for. Best get a move on. What do you do? >
cumpantry fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Aug 7, 2023 |
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Aug 7, 2023 16:54
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> Perform exactly 28 jumping jacks to get endorphins flowing
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Aug 7, 2023 16:55
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>RUN for OFFICE with PANCAKE as RUNNING MATE
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Aug 7, 2023 17:02
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>Return to barn and face the music
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Aug 7, 2023 17:03
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Talorat posted:>Return to barn and face the music  It takes a hell of a trot to climb on up that darn mountain, but you're well rested! You've the energy to sow six hundred seeds should you have six hundred laying around at all--but more to the point, you're driven. Letting down your wife for the second night in a row? Not happening. Plus, you're damned hungry, which is a mighty big influence as well. But whatever it is that drives you, you'll need just a little bit more--the barn's within sight. You can tell food's just about to leave the pan and hit the plates, and it's not smell that tips you off either: it's the missus' whistlin', and she only whistles when whatever's baking in that oven's about to pop on out. Of course, you can smell the supper, too. What do you do? >
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Aug 8, 2023 07:01
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> Think about the wife, her sister and the cow
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Aug 8, 2023 07:17
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>Equip your powered dinner armor
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Aug 8, 2023 10:46
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> stumble to table still exhausted, eat, poop, bathe, then go sleep in a real bed so you can get up early and have a leisurely breakfast with the missus. Or ignore the wife and call the fellas up for a lemon party idk what’s cool anymore.
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Aug 8, 2023 11:39
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> SEDUCE the wife, her sister and the cow
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Aug 8, 2023 13:13
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> Set barn on fire.
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Aug 8, 2023 13:31
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> go to the pantry and cover yourself in flour. Then sneak into the oven then yell BOO when the missus opens it
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Aug 8, 2023 14:20
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> Remove hat. Walk in respectfully. Ask for the house special (dat rear end).
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Aug 8, 2023 14:28
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| # ? May 10, 2024 13:22 |
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> Sit down and bawl your eyes out because you just remembered a time a chef made you cry over mushrooms you burned
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Aug 8, 2023 14:29
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