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When you find out your friend/colleague/lover is with childe and expecting soon, what’s good parenting advice yourself giving? Looks like everyone around me is expecting and I wanna be helpful.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:48
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| # ? May 12, 2024 02:02 |
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Enjoy your last days of freedom as much as you can.
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Aug 1, 2023 23:53
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If family or close friends offers to watch your kid the correct answer is always "yes"
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Aug 1, 2023 23:59
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abort if possible
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Aug 2, 2023 00:01
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there’s good money to be made from breast milk. give the kids formula and sell the real stuff while you can.
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Aug 2, 2023 00:19
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If your kid's friend gets the latest video game console and you don't have it, you should buy it. It's not fair that the friend gets to play the new one but you are stuck with the old one.
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Aug 2, 2023 01:01
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get ready to deal with poop
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Aug 2, 2023 01:42
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Don't let the kid die. Trust me on this one.
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Aug 2, 2023 01:43
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVpv2apwLcI
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Aug 2, 2023 01:52
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You should have pulled out.
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Aug 2, 2023 01:53
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If you want your kid to love you buy them one of those beds that are shaped like a blue racing car. You have to buy a bed anyway, you might as well buy something cool that he will like.
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Aug 2, 2023 01:56
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buy them an account
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Aug 2, 2023 02:25
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Keep kids away from social media
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Aug 2, 2023 02:35
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have abortion haha no i am kidding,
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Aug 2, 2023 02:35
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Feed them
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Aug 2, 2023 03:52
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Spank your partner (consensually) not your kid
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Aug 2, 2023 03:53
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maybealabia posted:Spank your partner (consensually) not your kid
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Aug 2, 2023 03:57
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Become an aunt or uncle instead. Loaner kids are fun.
You Are A Werewolf fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Aug 2, 2023 |
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Aug 2, 2023 03:58
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Aug 2, 2023 04:16
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Jack-in-the-Bach posted:If family or close friends offers to watch your kid the correct answer is always "yes" What if they give pedo vibes
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Aug 2, 2023 04:19
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teach your children well buglord
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Aug 2, 2023 04:48
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love your children and embrace the fact that your life is going to change.
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Aug 2, 2023 04:49
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Thesaurus posted:What if they give pedo vibes How pedo we talking?
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Aug 2, 2023 04:53
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Place the child at the base of a mountain overnight to deal with the elements, you know, for QC purposes.
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Aug 2, 2023 06:32
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Aug 2, 2023 06:42
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Do not let you children read or post on the Something Awful forums.
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Aug 2, 2023 06:48
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Give them a controller but do NOT plug it in. That way you can keep playin Super Seducer and they’ll be none the wiser 
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Aug 2, 2023 06:51
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Re: bottle feeding, be careful not to tip the bottle too far to the side once it gets lower. Baby will start start sucking in air and then either be real pissed off and gassy, or burp/puke it all up.
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Aug 2, 2023 06:57
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Pimpcasso posted:abort if possible
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Aug 2, 2023 07:07
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Bad Purchase posted:there’s good money to be made from breast milk. give the kids formula and sell the real stuff while you can. best milk
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Aug 2, 2023 07:08
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Aug 2, 2023 07:10
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Develop a taste for bullshit candies that nobody likes. Your kids won't eat all of your candy and if you end up liking Tootsie Rolls you're gonna make out like a bandit come Halloween
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Aug 2, 2023 07:17
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Serve your babies shaken not stirred.
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Aug 2, 2023 07:22
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I was gonna say vasectomy but apparently it’s too late for that
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Aug 2, 2023 07:24
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dont have kids. Failing that, abortion.
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Aug 2, 2023 07:50
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After dealing with a whole bunch of absolute loving rear end in a top hat small children who are wildly out of control: Bring back smacking.
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Aug 2, 2023 08:18
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Form a cult around the idea that when they're eighteen, they will be a new powerful messiah. Skim some dosh off the top for yourself.
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Aug 2, 2023 08:31
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If you ever get divorced, just let the fun parent have custody. Your kids will thank you.
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Aug 2, 2023 09:09
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Aug 2, 2023 09:12
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| # ? May 12, 2024 02:02 |
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Instead of knocking up your spouse, knock up someone else's, so you get to bust a nut from raw sex and also don't have to raise the little bastard
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Aug 2, 2023 09:13
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