bump this thread every time you remember cm punk is fragile

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > bump this thread every time you remember cm punk is fragile

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

loving wild that he still went for the lariat after that botch

I can't believe you're laughing at this man - he is trying to run a business ok!

# ¿ Aug 17, 2023 17:02

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 21:07

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

*Punk after a show doing a promo in Mox's hometown* Yeah he may be your boy and hes tough and you love him, but it you look at diagram 7b on the report I placed under your chairs- you'll see that he's not nearly as big a merch seller as I am in our biggest markets!

# ¿ Aug 17, 2023 17:30

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

I decided to look it up. With his time off punk has wrestled for 17 years and mix has wrestled for 19 lol.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2023 05:03

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

JUNGLE BOY posted:

Just woke up from a dream about fighting my stepdad so it made me think about how much I hate the landlord punk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELpItLsTKgY

# ¿ Aug 18, 2023 13:21

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Lol punk is a dork

# ¿ Aug 21, 2023 02:27

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR3n9Vdg_xE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S66qNZqLM80

# ¿ Aug 21, 2023 15:45

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

StarkRavingMad posted:

I forgot how bad Mickey Gall annihilated him. Like, the Mike Jackson fight was bad because CM Punk's fragile face started pouring blood everywhere, but at no point in the Mickey Gall fight did Punk look like he had any idea what the hell he was doing out there

Is it just me or at the end of the Mike Jackson fight Punk tries to shake his hand and Mike just poo poo talks him and refuses to shake?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2023 20:36

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

TheKingslayer posted:

Mike Jackson is a loving G and he still collected more paychecks off UFC after that lol.

whats the story?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2023 21:25

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

TheKingslayer posted:

UFC ended up trying to give him a punishment fight years later with a prospect who ended up gouging Jackson in the eye, giving Jackson the DQ win. They eventually got him beat up a little but Dana still had to pay out win money to Mike Jackson at least one more time lol.

Why were they so mad at him?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2023 21:53

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Eat This Glob posted:

mike jackson, iirc, was mickey gall's hand chosen tomato can to get gall's first professional win against prior to fighting punk. in fact, when the ufc approached him about taking the gall fight, jackson wasn't even fighting anymore, and mike thought they meant come shoot the show, as jackson was now a photographer. anyway, mike filled his role of getting beaten by the young upstart gall, who went on to thrash charles montgomery punkington the third.

the ufc generally gets guys on multi-fight contracts, so they figured that since they were still in the cm punk fight business, why not have the two guys who got their rear end kicked by mickey gall have a scrap? maybe punk won't look so embarrassing if we put him in there against a can who thought he was being approached by a fight promotion to take pictures and not fight.

so, punk and mike jackson have a fist fight. punk is so out of his depth that a mostly retired regional pro could hold him down and attempt punches while refusing to look at his intended punch recipient. mike clowned punk in such a way that many saw it as unsporting. it's like a wrestling sqash when, i dunno, wardlow refuses to pin a guy, but instead of a powerbomb symphony, he'd talk out of his rear end like jim carrey in ace ventura instead of any violence whatsoever and then still refuse to pin the guy when, inexplicably, the rear end-talking was doing damage.

anyway, the ufc was really pissed at mike jackson and dana white said jackson would never fight in the ufc again. well, there's a meme of the polaroid from "memento" that says "don't believe his lies" on it and the pic is of dana white, so of course mike later got another fight. like mike was set-up to lose against gall, there was another fighter the promotion wanted to get a win so they could fast track him to stardom. the fella was a striker from ireland, and if there's anything a red-faced bostonian like dana white likes, it's a guy who is actually from ireland so they threw mike jackson to him. anyway, the irishman poked jackson so hard in the goddamn eye the fight was called off and mike took another win off a guy the ufc wanted to win, in embarassing fashion, after the ufc said the guy would never fight for them again. it is very funny, and very cool to me

Mike jackson sounds like a cool dude.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2023 00:53

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Eat This Glob posted:

yeah he rules. the win he had on cm punk was overturned to a no contest because jackson pissed hot for weed, so you know that angered cm punk too

How is weed supposed to make you a better fighter to the point where you have an unfair advantage over your opponent and a decision should be overturned?

# ¿ Aug 22, 2023 00:56

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Has CM Punk ever bragged about his relationship with Dana White the way he bragged about his relationship with the head of WB?

# ¿ Aug 22, 2023 01:26

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

punks mma matches did provide this absolutely excellent and strangely prescient photo

hehe yes more give me more.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2023 18:03

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

lol his face in the last one looks like in a horror movie when they make a fake head of your actor to blow up.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2023 18:54

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

super macho dude posted:

Bumping this because I'm extremely excited to see Punk get outclassed again by Samoan Joe but in front of 80k+ screaming Brits this weekend.

Watching Punk win all the time annoys me like I imagine it must have annoyed Flair fans to watch Hogan win all the time in the 90s.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2023 21:18

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 21:07

Shard: Jul 30, 2005

Punk is a land of contrasts

# ¿ Aug 27, 2023 22:31

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