Goons Ate Goatse posted:

I farted on the toilet, I'm sorry

Goons Ate Goatse posted:

Im posting and pooping. Poopsting? Posping?

Beve Stuscemi posted:

there is no better time to poop than when you can make your boss pay you to do it.

rear end-penny posted:

a lot of people ITT posting from not toilets and I'm the only one getting probes for it, loving bigot mods

Advil posted:

Advil knew he had only a scant few moments before the inevitable expulsion of fecal matter would soil the dark blue pants he wore and what was left of his dignity. the bright, fluorescent lights of the tube lamps above, the whirring of air tools, hammers striking cold metal, the cool air coming in from door and push toward him by the drum fan.
His bowels began to contract and twist. This is it. I must find the fastest path to the toilet. There'll be no more than two more contractions before all hell breaks loose. As Advil took all these stimuli in, he simultaneously left them to the past, looked into that thousand-forked future of terrible poopose and saw the path to the toilet.
Keeping his movements casual so as not to attract attention, he walked briskly across the concrete floor. The epoxy paint was coming up in many spots and it was clear that it was time for a new coat. The tire techs were working but not very hard and this presented a dangerous situation. If anyone tries to stop me and talk, I will fail at my mission. This is my greatest weakness of willpower. I cannot stop a conversation mid-sentence even if the stakes are dire. My vision must tunnel if I am to succeed.
the entire journey from his work station to the lavatory took only thirty seconds, but time stretched out and elongated itself. Time, here, was felt as an eternity which made the task of getting to the toilet in time seem impossible. Advil recited the litany against fear for the remaining steps to the lavatory. He entered the stall, slamming the door shut behind him, unbuckled his trousers and sat upon the toilet.

"One must always be aware of the inner turtle that peaks his head to see what he should not. Keep him in the dark or you risk becoming the canvas on which he paints your shame for all to behold."

From, The Fecalia Protectiva.

Advil sat upon the porcelain seat and let loose an incredible salvo of highly destructive shits, in concert with a deep, bassy flatulence the likes of which God has never even heard. He was unaware that the human body could produce such a potent blast of energy at one time from the butt. A wild human force untapped for it's energy potential. What spacecraft we could power with this! He sat pondering this as he held his stomach, bent over his knees in pain. The rich, repugnant stench of his of waste was as awe inspiring as it was an outright offense to Shite-Hulud.

Mentat projection: I am defecating at dangerous speed.

He was off the toilet now and could see the damage that had been levied against this unsuspecting foe. The porcelain had a crack down side that spun around the interior of the bowl, and ended in the very bottom of the toilet. the outer base of the toilet was showing shatter lines all over it. "This will have to be documented and reported. No one else can use this toilet ever again," He looked around at the rest of the carnage that graffittied the stall panels and ceiling. "I can no longer escape the shame of this moment. It has become me and I, it." With that thought he walked to the large, round sink, washed his hands and left the lavatory.

AdvilSmith posted:

Philippe posted:

poopin

Goons Ate Goatse posted:

I'm doing it, I'm doing it RIGHT NOW

AdvilSmith posted: