MNF: Aaron Rodgers thinks today is just another gameday.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > MNF: Aaron Rodgers thinks today is just another gameday.

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

wait goddammit I was going to joke "hey my cable box was being a fucker and I just got here, did I miss rodger's career-ending injury"

don't tell me I actually did

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 01:36

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 14:55

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Hughmoris posted:

gods curse you, cable box

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 01:37

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Silly Burrito posted:

BEARDED MAN'S SHOES CAUSES JETS GROUNDING

You had to stretch for that one, but you got it in the end

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 01:48

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

one of my brothers is a tremendous Jets fan

lol sorry dude

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 02:25

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Barudak posted:

Hope they were talking mad poo poo to your Giants fan brother this morning

rest of my family is Eagles and he raised his kids right, they�re Eagles too

if anything I�m the other outlier for being Eagles but also eternally holding out hope that the Browns will maybe ever be good again in the future

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 02:29

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

well sign me the gently caress UP for the Disney+ CGI Bowl

last year we got Patrick Starr burying Russell Wilson on live tv, I have high hopes for, like, buzz lightyear getting the poo poo sacked out of him

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 02:33

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

I like that �be careful betting, you dumb fuckers� ad

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 02:39

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

lmao that either of these teams were considered playoff caliber

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:07

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Wait so the nfl changed the rules to give everyone a free roster slot for an emergency QB and the jets, just� didn�t use it?

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:28

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Josh Allen you inept motherfucker

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:32

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

tonight is a season record for Whitehead lmaoooooooo

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:35

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Valt posted:

This game is two grown men pressing their asses together and farting directly into each others assholes. But at the end we have to declare a winner somehow, even though its exceedingly clear that no one could possibly win.

an evocative, haunting, and above all, accurate metaphor

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:37

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Let�s go to OT, yes

open the Blood Gates

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:38

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Celebration Hurdle

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:40

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

o ver time
o ver time
O VER TIME

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:41

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

MAXIMUM

CLOWNAGE

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:45

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:45

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Fumble snap, recover, run forward, fumble again

the Josh Allen Experience

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:46

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

that�s short

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:49

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

bean mom posted:

this would be a more embarassing loss than the giants last night

for either team

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:49

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

So on Friday I was bullshitting with my family and talking about how I hate Aaron Rodgers and hoped he got hurt and my brother got the hurt why-would-you-say-that eyes so I added "but then the Jets win anyway"

anyway, long story short, I can predict the future

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:54

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Silly Burrito posted:

well

yeah

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:55

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

If Josh Allen finishes with less fantasy points than Aaron Rodgers, this game will be complete

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:57

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

lol @this commercial

A Life Wasted, brought to you by Visa

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:58

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Dango Bango posted:

For whatever reason, the bottom-right down and distance marker's update looks like it flashes yellow out of the corner of my eye so I think there's a flag

because it does loving flash yellow

you're not alone

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 03:59

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

come on bills give me this FG

I need 15 more minutes of glorious Clown

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:00

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Play posted:

nah but they've got Peacemaker, Omni-man (no clue who that is) and Homelander which should be pretty interesting

you should watch Invincible, it's pretty good

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:01

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Android Apocalypse posted:

HAHAHAHAHA OPI

Fitz "that's a Buffalo Wild Wings flag"

rofl, fitz with a good one

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:02

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

let's go field goal

clap clap clapclapclap

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:02

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

LET'S GO FIELD GOAL

CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:04

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

kick it now you dumbshits

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:05

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Tulalip Tulips posted:

A middle school friend's dream was to go to BYU and find a husband to do Mormon missionary work while also trying to turn me Mormon to go with her.

Lmao this is really going to happen

unless you are also a chick it sounds very much like you missed a signal there

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:06

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

YES

A DOINKGOAL FOR OT

MAXIMUM

CLOWNAGE

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:07

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

gentlemen, ladies, all in between

the football gods have blessed us with bonus clownball

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:08

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Shinji2015 posted:

TIE
TIE
TIE
TIE

TIE
TIE
TIE
TIE
TIE
TIE
TIE

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:09

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

TV Zombie posted:

How the hell did Wilson keep the game close?

Josh Allen committed four turnovers all by himself

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:10

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

...like this?

like this apparently

l
m
a
o

what a game

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:16

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

they turned the lights off

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:16

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# ¿ May 11, 2024 14:55

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

naw, that block was clean

what a dumbshit ending loving lol

# ¿ Sep 12, 2023 04:18

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