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We've got a mission statement to only do good. Reveal whatever Truth that is.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:29
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| # ? May 2, 2024 11:31 |
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Where was OP on the night of the 11th?
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Sep 12, 2023 20:30
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Grey Cat posted:Where was OP on the night of the 11th? Stakeout, most likely. Sitting in cars for hours waiting for cheating husbands.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:32
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redshirt posted:Stakeout, most likely. Sitting in cars for hours waiting for cheating husbands. You sure you weren't in a plane? I have it on good authority...
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Sep 12, 2023 20:33
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Grey Cat posted:You sure you weren't in a plane? I have it on good authority... I want you to join the Agency. Full benefits. You get your own rotary phone.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:34
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redshirt posted:Sitting in cars for hours waiting for cheating husbands. Same
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Sep 12, 2023 20:35
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redshirt posted:I want you to join the Agency. Full benefits. You get your own rotary phone. Hot DOG!
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Sep 12, 2023 20:35
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“Just one more thing…”
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Sep 12, 2023 20:37
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Pulls flask out from desk drawer, takes a swig, puts it back. Ahh, that's how you start the day. Now to wait for a dame to enter the office.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:37
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Always sit in the corner of the restaurant so you can watch everyone else eat.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:37
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You Are A Elf posted:“Just one more thing…” About to walk out door, turns back...
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Sep 12, 2023 20:38
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Caught another fucker climbing ladders and hammering up 3/4” plywood when he was collecting workman’s comp. There’s nothing more satisfying than being an insurance company stooge.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:43
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We need a third floor dusty office in some rundown off Central street, yet close enough we can get there quickly.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:46
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It was a day like any other. Rainy, miserable, black and white.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:47
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In the dim glow of a lamplight, I sat in my cluttered office, nursing a hip flask filled with the warmth only cheap whiskey could offer. The rain outside drummed a steady beat on the windows, accompanying the faint strains of a jazz tune playing from a nearby speakeasy. A sudden rap on the door jolted me to my senses. I glanced past the .50 magnum on my desk as the door swung open, and a dame stepped in. The room seemed to brighten just a bit, her silhouette revealing long, beautiful legs that seemed to go on forever... "Mom!" I exclaimed. "You don't need to come in, I'm raiding. Just leave dinner at the door and go back upstairs!" William Bear fucked around with this message at 21:02 on Sep 12, 2023 |
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Sep 12, 2023 20:47
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Investigate Somethingawful
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Sep 12, 2023 20:47
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Grey Cat posted:It was a day like any other. There's this roof fan that spins lazily.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:48
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CannonFodder posted:Pulls flask out from desk drawer, takes a swig, puts it back. *Bloodfart McCoy saunters into the office and sits his hot rear end on your desk* “I’m looking for a private dick.” *The odor is shocking*
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Sep 12, 2023 20:54
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The best detective work involves greasing a few palms. Now most detectives use some dead Presidents, but I prefer extra virgin olive oil. It gets my palms extra slick for my "interrogation methods." Post nut clarity will make anyone give up the goods.
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Sep 12, 2023 20:55
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I am the private detector
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Sep 12, 2023 20:57
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Spankowsky, it's you and me!
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Sep 12, 2023 20:58
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My determination is based on whether I had a dame for a client with great legs that they were willing to show off.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:01
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Then she walked in. A dame with legs so long, she left (get it?? so long)
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Sep 12, 2023 21:02
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WHY BONER NOW posted:Then she walked in. A dame with legs so long, she left (get it?? so long) Like this creature entirely made of legs
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Sep 12, 2023 21:03
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So how drunk can I get between cases? Also do we get old timey nicknames?
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Sep 12, 2023 21:04
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redshirt posted:Like this creature entirely made of legs A true angel from the Old Testament made entirely of legs.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:07
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Edgar posted:So how drunk can I get between cases? Also do we get old timey nicknames? Yes and Yes
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Sep 12, 2023 21:08
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:*Bloodfart McCoy saunters into the office and sits his hot rear end on your desk*
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Sep 12, 2023 21:13
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Sigh, there's this guy who's been missing alot...
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Sep 12, 2023 21:14
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Sep 12, 2023 21:17
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she walked into my office looking like a stack of dry pancakes. if looks could kill, she might've given me a slight headache. her name was mauve. no wait. that was the wallpaper.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:21
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Beaten to the punch by those public sector detectives once again!
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Sep 12, 2023 21:22
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Just say how much.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:22
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Hi I'd like to hire a private detective, I suspect my wife is cheating on me
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Sep 12, 2023 21:24
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When the darkness fell, New York City became something else, any old Sinatra song notwithstanding. Bad things happened in the night, on the streets of that other city. Noir York City... After Y2K, the end of the world had become a cliché. But who was I to talk, a brooding underdog avenger alone against an empire of evil, out to right a grave injustice? Everything was subjective. There were only personal apocalypses. Nothing is a cliché when it's happening to you. I had taken on the role of the mythic detective: Bogart as Marlowe, or as Sam Spade going after the Maltese Falcon. To unravel all the mysteries, following a path of clues to that final revelation, even if it would take me down to the cold, cavernous depths of a grave. Collecting evidence had gotten old a few hundred bullets back. I was already so far past the point of no return I couldn't even remember what it looked like when I had passed it.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:25
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Mozi posted:Hi I'd like to hire a private detective, I suspect my wife is cheating on me I charge lunch and dinner every day
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Sep 12, 2023 21:26
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Edgar posted:So how drunk can I get between cases? Also do we get old timey nicknames? Between cases?! You must be new here. We’re drunk all the time.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:27
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redshirt posted:I charge lunch and dinner every day deal, you can meet up with my wife to get those
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Sep 12, 2023 21:29
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:When the darkness fell, New York City became something else, any old Sinatra song notwithstanding. Bad things happened in the night, on the streets of that other city. Noir York City... Yes and Yes. Also this older Italian lady walks into your office....
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Sep 12, 2023 21:29
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| # ? May 2, 2024 11:31 |
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A dame walked in. She had smoky eye shadow and legs for days. Dames like that always mean trouble.
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Sep 12, 2023 21:29
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