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The Case of The Missing Dame: A Jake Johnson Mystery
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Sep 13, 2023 15:58
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| # ? May 2, 2024 07:47 |
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The sad truth about our sleuthing skills is that we get further and further from the truth and we ultimately have to rely on somebody to tell us the same thing they told us before we started on our investigation a second time to hear it. And all along our path of destruction, intellectual property altered and made lovely, food taken out of people's mouths, general spawning of distrust and unobjective little "tests" we do to verify that it's "still cool", which under any circumstance will likely result in death if our validation criteria are not met, even for reasons we hadn't conceived or obvious things we just didn't bother to think about, we carelessly champion ourselves as the one who see the things that others don't, because those things are crazy and don't actually exist. All the while CHOOSING to be the one who is powerless to do anything real or effective to change the situation, or talk to people, because somebody else is always responsible for the things that bother us. Not by our hands, that's our motto. Always politicking somebody else to do our bitch work. And the things that bother us are always someone else's accomplishments, which can't be real because.. We are quite literally incapable of figuring anything out with all the facts laid out before us in an organized and logical fashion that makes complete sense. Overdog fucked around with this message at 16:03 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 15:59
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They called him Smooth Sammy. He was a real smooth cat see? Smoother than a Cadillac running over a cheese cake. And she owed him a Nickle.
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Sep 13, 2023 16:11
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When will we, as a society, stop being oppressed by a homeless man in a van who needs about 300 surgeries to survive? How can we really stick it to this rear end in a top hat. What a cherished and sheltered life he has led, and how sus are all the things he's been through? Surely we will dig up some dirt on him. Mr. avoiding fates. What a dick for not dying 100 times. Something doesn't add up here. There's a billion dollar pot he's avoiding here, that he's not taking. If someone can make a billion off this boy, surely he can't make more than that for himself.
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Sep 13, 2023 16:24
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A Dane walked in. "Har du trapper i dit hus?"
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Sep 13, 2023 16:59
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Gams
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Sep 13, 2023 17:05
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Thinking of hiring this dame for detective work. Would be great undercover.
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Sep 13, 2023 17:49
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I'll get to it when I get to it honey, part, if not most of the reason I haven't is because of the bullshit you drag into my life and the time I spend on that, and I am far more irritated by it than you. Why be a coward when nothing you are doing is keeping anything out or private, and is in fact accomplishing the exact opposite?
Overdog fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Sep 13, 2023 |
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Sep 13, 2023 18:08
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What's with all the hubub, bub? You haven't shut your yap since I walked into this place, and none of your yammering has made a lick of sense. I've got got half a mind to clean your clock.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:49
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This was the thing that made "Jessica Jones" so unique (at least I think): She's the woman version of that private detective who's all hosed up and morally questionable, yet does the right thing (most of the time).
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Sep 13, 2023 18:51
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This is one of those situations where everyone is wrong. The method is not only completely ineffective as to its desired result, but is also causing damage, with frequency and predictability. This one stubborn belief is why things aren't the way they should be. Something bad will happen if you don't.. something bad is happening. So I say just go for it, this idiotic system is driving you crazy. So just go for it. That's what I say.
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Sep 13, 2023 18:55
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Overdog posted:This is one of those situations where everyone is wrong. The method is not only completely ineffective as to its desired result, but is also causing damage, with frequency and predictability. This one stubborn belief is why things aren't the way they should be. Something bad will happen if you don't.. something bad is happening. So I say just go for it, this idiotic system is driving you crazy. So just go for it. That's what I say. Get'a load of this wiseacre. He's got a few screws loose. Elevator doesn't go to the top floor, if you know what I'm sayin.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:01
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Busters posted:Get'a load of this wiseacre. He's got a few screws loose. Elevator doesn't go to the top floor, if you know what I'm sayin. Mumbles the Mad. One of Languini's gang.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:06
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the sky was the color of a gammy dame
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Sep 13, 2023 19:09
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redshirt posted:Mumbles the Mad. One of Languini's gang. Languini's gone soft if he's hiring malooks like this side-show. He's liable to roll over on the whole operation for a nickel.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:10
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Have you idiots considered the possibility (fact) that Smugworth probably (definitely) did it?
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Sep 13, 2023 19:11
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There I was in my office when this crazy dane walked in. "Woof"
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Sep 13, 2023 19:12
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kntfkr posted:Have you idiots considered the possibility (fact) that Smugworth probably (definitely) did it? Always the first visit I pay when on a new case.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:12
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Busters posted:Languini's gone soft if he's hiring malooks like this side-show. He's liable to roll over on the whole operation for a nickel. He's desperate. Word is there's a new boss showed up in Old Town.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:13
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I'm certainly not going to live MY life as if I've already died, just because I was supposed to. It just stops being your destiny when the story is out.
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Sep 13, 2023 19:16
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I pay for Marla Marbel at the front desk, and she's great, but given my liquor and drug budget, and the lack of cases, I'm not sure how long I can keep her on. But is a Private Dick a Private Dick without a dame at the front desk?!
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Sep 13, 2023 19:22
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kntfkr posted:Have you idiots considered the possibility (fact) that Smugworth probably (definitely) did it? Buddy I aint left this desk in 17 years and I aint about to start now, capiche?
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Sep 13, 2023 19:58
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New water cooler delivery, sweet. Things are looking up.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:21
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Buddy I aint left this desk in 17 years and I aint about to start now, capiche? How do you stretch your legs? Or are they just L shaped now? 
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Sep 13, 2023 20:23
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Overdog posted:How do you stretch your legs? Or are they just L shaped now? I get plenty of exercise without leaving the office. I walk over to the whiskey cooler and then back to my desk.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:33
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I get plenty of exercise without leaving the office. I walk over to the whiskey cooler and then back to my desk. So you've just admitted to leaving your desk. What else are you hiding? 
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Sep 13, 2023 20:35
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Overdog posted:So you've just admitted to leaving your desk. What else are you hiding? Why dont you hire this private dick to find out? *grabs balls*
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Sep 13, 2023 20:38
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Looking to hire a handful of street urchin, as eyes on the street. Your cover will be newspaper delivery boys.
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Sep 13, 2023 20:38
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Why dont you hire this private dick to find out? It's not private anymore now is it, Dick? I mean like your dick, not your name. You know what I'm saying, like your name is Dick but your dick ain't.. You know what? Forget it. You clearly ain't the dame I'm lookin for. *grabs balls*
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Sep 13, 2023 20:42
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"you gotta understand, there are good people out there who are really trying to help" there aren't any good or regular people who know anything about this who haven't been introduced to the "rules".
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Sep 13, 2023 21:12
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It's always the crazy ones. *Takes drink of whiskey
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Sep 13, 2023 22:24
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WHY BONER NOW posted:There I was in my office when this crazy dane walked in. She was here for the secretary position. Her typing skills were lacking, but she could smell trouble a mile away.
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Sep 13, 2023 23:44
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OK I've been trying to do some budget work. The dusty 3rd floor office downtown near the docks costs 3600 a month. Gracie costs 4K a month. Booze and smoke budget is 4K Miscellaneous other stuff is at least 4K . So we need to bring in a lot more each month, Ideas?
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Sep 14, 2023 00:01
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What would be great is if people could get a 5k unconditional loan from the government from short sold futures on a compensatory fund every time they make "very positive comments" that they qualify as "being nice" about someone's chemically mutilated scalp 3 or 4 times a day and subtly encouraging them to get rid of the evidence by implying that they've kept their remaining hair a little too long for their taste. That would at least fund a 17K McDonald's order or a cool hat to try and buy some drugs in.
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Sep 14, 2023 00:50
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As a reminder, we are not a bail service, or provide bail bond's man services, in any way. Though we do work closely with bail bondsmen services in mutual interest.
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Sep 14, 2023 00:55
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redshirt posted:We've got a mission statement to only do good. Reveal whatever Truth that is. As a result, we are both loved and feared on the cosmic scale, but only if we're a known entity at all. Now, this here operation has been dubbed a Private Detective Agency, however, so let's err on the side of caution and try to keep ourselves on the 'great unknown' side of things, capische?
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Sep 14, 2023 01:10
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Its me, Im the guy banging all the wives
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Sep 14, 2023 01:12
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And the husbands. And I stole the Crown Jewels. And killed a coupla guys.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:15
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Might have gotten up to a little smuggling. Small amount of racketeering here and there. You could also say I know a few guys.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:18
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| # ? May 2, 2024 07:47 |
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Might have gotten up to a little smuggling. I've got frequent work for guys with your skills. Stay listening.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:19
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