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redshirt posted:I've got frequent work for guys with your skills. Being a PI is the perfect cover. No one would ever suspect a dick of being a criminal.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:24
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Being a PI is the perfect cover. No one would ever suspect a dick of being a criminal. Shut it skuzzball! I'll put you and your gang away!!
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Sep 14, 2023 01:25
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Being a PI is the perfect cover. No one would ever suspect a dick of being a criminal. Them: Stop being such a dick!!! Me:  (see this is why I personally self-identify as a 'gumshoe'; because instead of dicking around all day I get to plant my feet in the tar when I need to and amscray when it's time)
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Sep 14, 2023 01:29
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The Answer is 43 posted:Them: Stop being such a dick!!! Glad you're on board. We've had a backlog of mysteries.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:31
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Let's roll out squad. We've got mysteries to solve.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:54
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I知 a PIPI. I take on investigations for other private investigators.
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Sep 14, 2023 01:57
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The heck?? I don't remember agreeing to that. Although it's also totally possible I agreed to that. Military off site rules apply.
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Sep 14, 2023 02:00
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I watch the detectives file out with their sweat, whiskey breath, cheap tobacco stink, and their sweaty tobacco-and-whiskey-stained trenchcoats closed tight for the pea soup foggy weather outside. A good thing, I thought, as the whiskey and tobacco deliverydame has arrived. That's a real dame with real gams, and I'll be damned if I let her saunter into any detective's office. It was up to me to protect her, and for a face that beautiful I'd risk my life. Maybe not my life, but for sure my job. This city is full of crummy detectives-- dime a dozen--but I could at least protect one dame's smile from them.
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Sep 14, 2023 02:10
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Mistle posted:I watch the detectives file out with their sweat, whiskey breath, cheap tobacco stink, and their sweaty tobacco-and-whiskey-stained trenchcoats closed tight for the pea soup foggy weather outside. A good thing, I thought, as the whiskey and tobacco deliverydame has arrived. That's a real dame with real gams, and I'll be damned if I let her saunter into any detective's office. It was up to me to protect her, and for a face that beautiful I'd risk my life. You've got a freelancing nightly detective gig! If you want it.
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Sep 14, 2023 02:18
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Buce posted:I知 a PIPI. I take on investigations for other private investigators. So you've got cases from Detroit and such?
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Sep 14, 2023 02:24
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Oh boy, it's another great evening watching the city go by behind the curiously-wide bars of this pawn shop window. I, Skinny Rat-Faced Pawn Shop Guy, sure hope that no half-drunk chain-smoking private gumshoe walks in through that door looking for leads and in a mood to rough me up! No sir! That would spoil this lovely evening of mine for sure!
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Sep 14, 2023 02:30
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redshirt posted:You've got a freelancing nightly detective gig! If you want it. No thanks. The secretary job is just as vital and dangerous as the detective job, just instead of bullets and badguys, I deal with the gammy dames, paperwork, and questionable clients, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Someone's gotta take care of the dames while the gumshoes are all out connecting the dots, after all.
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Sep 14, 2023 02:37
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Mistle posted:No thanks. The secretary job is just as vital and dangerous as the detective job, just instead of bullets and badguys, I deal with the gammy dames, paperwork, and questionable clients, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Ah, that's our hook! It's a guy in short shorts.
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Sep 14, 2023 02:39
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Boss, I wrapped the missing jewelry case. You were right, Franky Fingers had them all along. Bad news is...let's just say he took a long walk off a short pier, ya hear me? So now it's just me and the diamonds. And I got to thinking, who's to say Fingers didn't already sell 'em?  Maybe we give Gracie a raise, she's a good kid
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Sep 14, 2023 13:39
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Can I have a diamond?
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Sep 14, 2023 13:43
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WHY BONER NOW posted:Boss, I wrapped the missing jewelry case. You were right, Franky Fingers had them all along. Bad news is...let's just say he took a long walk off a short pier, ya hear me? She makes more than any of us already! Any updates on the Languinis?
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Sep 14, 2023 14:22
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I'd been shot by Vito Salvatore and left to die in an alleyway. The rain went rat-a-tat-tat on the metal garbage cans, just like his tommy gun had done as it unloaded about a quarter pound of lead into my gut. I started thinking of that dame again, the one with the sultry eyes and sultrier gams. She worked at the movie theater selling tickets. For months I'd go, see the pictures, and think about what I'd say to her. Finally, I built up the courage to talk to her. She handed me the ticket, telling me to enjoy the movie. I was a bundle of nerves and blurted out "Y-you, too." The moment was lost, maybe forever. The rain kept falling as I felt my face go flush.
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Sep 14, 2023 15:25
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6 hours in a Holiday Inn parking lot, waiting for Paul Languini to leave room 304.
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Sep 14, 2023 16:55
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The butler did it!
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Sep 14, 2023 16:57
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This was going to be my most difficult case yet. A dame, murdered in cold blood, her body stuffed into a suitcase and mailed to her ex-husband. The suspect? Frank "The Suitcase Killer" Ricaboni. How he got that nickname nobody seemed to know, but it was pretty damning in this case.
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Sep 14, 2023 17:16
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redshirt posted:6 hours in a Holiday Inn parking lot, waiting for Paul Languini to leave room 304. Ok boss I've been tailing this Tony Spaghetti fella and...oh boy...I think I got some wires crossed here
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Sep 14, 2023 17:28
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A Fancy Hat posted:This was going to be my most difficult case yet. A dame, murdered in cold blood, her body stuffed into a suitcase and mailed to her ex-husband. The suspect? Frank "The Suitcase Killer" Ricaboni. How he got that nickname nobody seemed to know, but it was pretty damning in this case. The Case of the Case. Did you need to case the joint?
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Sep 14, 2023 17:29
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WHY BONER NOW posted:Ok boss I've been tailing this Tony Spaghetti fella and...oh boy...I think I got some wires crossed here Jesus, check in with Gracie, I'm on a stakeout here.
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Sep 14, 2023 17:30
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Fine, I admit it. I've only been mentioning gams to fit in. I'm all about breasts dammit. Saying this means I'm likely to lose my PI license.
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Sep 14, 2023 17:36
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redshirt posted:6 hours in a Holiday Inn parking lot, waiting for Paul Languini to leave room 304. You want I should go in there and rough 訴m up a little?
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Sep 14, 2023 18:16
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:You want I should go in there and rough 訴m up a little? No! Go get a hamburger and shake.
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Sep 14, 2023 18:19
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Checking out dive bars in The Oyster District. It smells of seaside and crime.
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Sep 14, 2023 21:50
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I was warned Linguini had goons, but when I arrived at the warehouse to scope them out, all I saw was a table of nerds playing cards. And not manly cards like for poker. Some kind of JR Tolkien game.
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Sep 14, 2023 22:04
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Anyone near the Industrial District? I could use a new trenchcoat and hat.
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Sep 15, 2023 00:11
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Penis Inspector, Private Dick
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Sep 15, 2023 00:33
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Im your shifty former partner from the force that you thought was dead but now im in the run from the government for a crime i didnt commit, and also on the run from the mob for a crime i did commit, and i need your help for old times sake
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Sep 15, 2023 00:49
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X JAKK posted:Im your shifty former partner from the force that you thought was dead but now im in the run from the government for a crime i didnt commit, and also on the run from the mob for a crime i did commit, and i need your help for old times sake Sameson, you son of a bitch!
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Sep 15, 2023 00:50
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I need someone around to subtly neg so I can make myself look smarter. I'll call my best friend, the unemployed veteran who always carries his old service revolver.
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Sep 15, 2023 04:56
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Old Man Languini is going to Tahoe this weekend, according to my sources. Also, happy hours are a great way to stretch the food budget.
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Sep 15, 2023 15:37
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dames
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Sep 15, 2023 15:51
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redshirt posted:Old Man Languini is going to Tahoe this weekend, according to my sources. Boss can I take this one? I need to get out of town for a few days...I lost my patience when I got upstaged yet again by that loving kid detective Billy Whitman and kinda made a scene (yeah so I didn't know you can tell the species of an elephant by it's ears! Who woulda thunk that would crack the case of the circus heist) Tahoe sounds nice, I could sightsee a little, take in the gams. Old Man Languini will be easy to tail, he's got that limp and he dont see so good
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Sep 15, 2023 16:26
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WHY BONER NOW posted:Boss can I take this one? I need to get out of town for a few days...I lost my patience when I got upstaged yet again by that loving kid detective Billy Whitman and kinda made a scene (yeah so I didn't know you can tell the species of an elephant by it's ears! Who woulda thunk that would crack the case of the circus heist) You got it. Ask Gracie if she wants to tag along.
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Sep 15, 2023 16:33
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I've installed my favorite arcade game in my office, Big Gams Hunter.
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Sep 15, 2023 17:17
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Diner Coffee and 40 Pall Malls 30 bucks on the expense report
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Sep 15, 2023 17:53
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Another morning I'm driving for burgers and drinks down by the Malibu docks.
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Sep 15, 2023 20:01
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