Wendigee posted:

https://www.michaels.com/product/15-animated-skeleton-cat-decoration-by-ashland-10716003

It's 50 percent off because there already selling Christmas poo poo.

This cat makes horrible sounds and lights up and has a motion activation camera so it goes off if someone walks in front of it

Edit: it's a scary cat statue that has a motion sensor and when you walk in front of it it moves its head and screams at you and crazy cat meows

Mr.Acula posted:

Cock ring

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for shaming my husband for using a found cock ring?

quote:

So my husband wants to have a bigger penis and does different exercises to try and achieve this. He’s average-sized, not small at all and I like him the way he is, but he seems so insistent on this because he says he can please me better and it’s also “for him”, he says, I guess his pride as a man? I don’t know. Anyways, I’m fine with this, mostly, but he crossed a line in my mind today when he gave me an update today where he says he’s finally found a consistent way to “make gains”. He begins by telling a story of how he found a cock ring…on the ground…in a parking lot. He took this thing home and actually started using it. Gross.

I stopped him right there and was instantly taken aback. I could not believe my ears. I told him he was crazy and nasty, why would he ever do that? Now, he’s all exclaiming to me that he bleached it, that it was in the parking lot at work and he went back in to bleach and clean it because he wanted to see “how one worked” but it just icked me out. I tell him that he’s desperate, that he’s gross for doing that because of what it’s involved in and that I don’t care if he used bleach to clean it.

I gave a comparison saying what I found a dildo, bleached and then used it? He says it’s not the same because that enters inside someone and the ring is just a plastic ring. He then tried to reason that everything we touch has an unknown amount of and unknown origin of bacteria, from door handles to dollar bills but I don’t care, that’s just gross as hell because you know what it’s used for.

We’ve been together 15 years and I know he just wants to do better for me but I think it’s really all about him, I mean, why does he care so much? He says that if “I were to ask almost any man who is average sized or below, they’d want to be bigger”. Is this true??

I told him that I fear for his mental state and I’m honestly scared if he’s doing anything else behind my back. He says he doesn’t watch porn anymore and when he goes to do his workouts in the bathroom, he always leaves his phone in our living room “as a show of good faith” and I believe and appreciate that. And to add, he’s not doing this 24/7. I know he does his little “workouts” but I don’t want y’all to think he does nothing but strangle his chicken all day or something.

I just think it’s gross this freaking man picked up a random rear end cock ring and thinks bleach is enough. His intentions are good…I guess….but I fear that it’s pushing him too far. I mean, these things are SO CHEAP on Amazon or something but he said he wanted to try it because “it was right there and he saw the possibilities”. Not gonna lie, I went in on him because I just think it’s gross and now he says he feels like some leper or drug addict by my reaction.

As for if it works, well, he’s definitely more “pumped up” when he’s doing his workouts vs when he isn’t at all, he just says he can’t make the “gains stick for push beyond a certain threshold” whatever that means.

I don’t know…

AITAH?

Mr.Acula posted:

the rubber band that comes with a thing of brocolli.

Rabidsamba posted:

i got some of them brew buddies things that op mentioned and they are nice and i like them

anyways that’s all thanks for reading or not if you didn’t

Literally A Person posted:

Soul Dentist posted:

Somebody obviously threw away the cock ring, and if it worked it wouldn't be there on the ground

GolfHole posted:

yall know you dont need to buy cockrings right? they give them out free with twist off bottle caps

BATS FLY AT MOON posted:

naem posted:

I just installed a bidet, genuinely life changing

flubber nuts posted:

welcome to the good life. good luck making GBS threads in a public restroom from now on.

Incremus posted:

Re: dog poo poo

I got a box of food-safety gloves from Costco and a roll of the large-size poop bags. Switching from using the scoop to just grabbing it directly off the grass with the gloved hand was a big time saver. Either way is equally gross to me so at least I’m not out there for as long a time now.

credburn posted:

I take a shower after every bowel movement and I'm trying hard to not judge those who don't but

e: I also take showers otherwise, it's not just a once-every-two-weeks-thing

Frogz posted:

I don't own a bidet, so help me understand: does it clean everything thoroughly? Or would you still need to use toilet paper, only less than before? Because sometimes, after a substantial challenge, it feels like I'm wiping a permanent marker.

BATS FLY AT MOON posted:

I save a ton of money on condoms by buying them in bulk at Michael’s

Beachcomber posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVTD-LtpW0M

aniviron posted:

Should be completely clean. I keep paper around for drying purposes, and the psychological reassurance that things are clean.

credburn posted:

I take a shower after every bowel movement and I'm trying hard to not judge those who don't but

e: I also take showers otherwise, it's not just a once-every-two-weeks-thing

flubber nuts posted:

welcome to the good life. good luck making GBS threads in a public restroom from now on.

Frogz posted:

I don't own a bidet, so help me understand: does it clean everything thoroughly? Or would you still need to use toilet paper, only less than before? Because sometimes, after a substantial challenge, it feels like I'm wiping a permanent marker.

naem posted:

figuring out how to aim a jet of water at your own butthole with the dial requires skill

Brother Tadger posted:

I hate to critique your shitbaggibg technique, but what do you need the glove for if you are using a bag? Can’t you just place your hand in the bag, grab the poop with the bagged hand, then flip it inside out to tie it up? Glove seems superfluous

maybealabia posted:

They're talking about their own yard full of poop because the dog goes out on it's own

So they're picking up a lot. The turn the bag inside out thing isn't the solution

Frogz posted:

I don't own a bidet, so help me understand: does it clean everything thoroughly? Or would you still need to use toilet paper, only less than before? Because sometimes, after a substantial challenge, it feels like I'm wiping a permanent marker.

credburn posted:

I take a shower after every bowel movement and I'm trying hard to not judge those who don't but

e: I also take showers otherwise, it's not just a once-every-two-weeks-thing