PYF Schadenfreude: can't arm there, skate

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Schadenfreude: can't arm there, skate

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

PurpleXVI posted:

I can't really get my head around this. How many geese would be the danger equivalent of a single moose?

100 geese. Moose are weird, though. Their evolved strategy is to be Wicked Fucken Huge, so big that their normal predators can't easily take them down. So if you encounter one, it is as likely to charge you as to run away, or just stand there. Of course this varies especially if it's a male and doubly so during rutting season. But they're often deceptively docile. Never trust a moose. :ninja:

# ¿ Sep 24, 2023 12:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:46

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Forever the best thing any news/morning show has ever done in the history of the world.

If that on is A1, this one is A2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7a8qyJ5W74

And while we're on news shows in general being stupid, why not post maybe the most sublime ten seconds of media ever:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dCXET4Cl3M

# ¿ Sep 27, 2023 12:12

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

ante posted:

Honestly my personal equation is about half that for all the numbers (35min/25min) and I also show up to work all endorphined up and feeling great, instead of just angry at the traffic I was stuck in, it's great.

The backlash against that lifestyle ITT is hilarious to me. Goons

It's not often a goony backlash to physical fitness. It's often a reaction to bike snobs being entitled, self-righteous pricks toward people who live in rural areas or areas underserved by public transit or bike friendly infrastructure. Personally, I wish I could bike or even bus to my job, but my city is like every other goddamn American city and I have three options:

Bus for an hour and still have to walk 30 minutes anyway

Bike 45 minutes and probably die in my commute much younger than I would otherwise die

Drive 15 minutes

# ¿ Oct 14, 2023 20:20

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

This didn't happen though

I was speaking generally, not about where we are in the current derail. I've seen this slapfight happen enough times to set my watch to it. There is an undercurrent of ire toward people who drive cars like we have a loving choice in the matter. Bike people make car people mad, and car people drive like assholes around cyclists. It sucks.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2023 20:35

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

BiggerBoat posted:

Long time graphic designer here and can confirm that customers don't proofread poo poo. WE'd send proofs out all the time typeset exactly how they sent it in (usually with spell check run on stuff as part of the process) and then have to eat poo poo and get bitched out because of a typo. Hell, sometimes it wasn't even a typo. It was just some person who CLEARLY wanted their cell number to say "C: 904-123-4567" and NOT "CELL: 904-123-4567", even though they typed it that way.

Business cards, for whatever reason, were always the absolute WORST.

You'd think it'd be simple, right? Your logo, name, job title, address, website and contact information in a 3.5 x 2 inch space but my loving god were they ever an absolute pain in the rear end and typically had more edits than a 48 page instruction manual.

We made no money on them and they were always a loss leader but any time we had a reprint it was always on us, even when we gave them templates and forms to write down or enter EXACTLY what they wanted on it.

Also, obligatory:

I've been working in a commercial print shop for five years and, yes, customers and vendors both do not ever even look at proofs and are all total goobers. The way our business model works is that customers work through vendors, who are supposed to help the customer produce print-ready art if they do not have graphic designers in-house to do that. Vendors are also supposed to supervise the generation of each job from the customer to the manufacturer (i.e., us) to make sure the purchase order isn't hosed up or unintelligible. Dozens of times per week, I'll get jobs whose art is unprintable or incorrect, and whose purchase order is contradictory to the art. All the while, two or more people said "proof approved" prior to the poo poo hitting my shop. Some of it is really egregious too, like a postcard mailer for a college which misspells the word "college" in huge lettering. Lots of folks sitting on their asses checking loving emails for a living just transparently not doing anything useful at all. :waycool:

# ¿ Oct 27, 2023 02:38

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

My wife pulled about 3 feet of yarn out of the cat's butt once before we moved in together. We had a good laugh about how gross it was and how terrible cats are. Then she told the whole story to a vet tech friend who got really quiet while her eyes got super wide and then we learned about this. Yarn is apparently worse than pretty much anything other than dental floss because it stretches, knots easily, and doesn't slide very well.

One time our cat swallowed a length of thread that was still attached to a spool. My wife was out of town at the time which sucked because he's very bonded to her and she might have been able to help him more easily despite his agitation. I only noticed when there was a weird clinking sound coming from one of the cat's usual cozy corners. The spool was hanging out of his mouth since he had swallowed enough of the thread. I knew he was either going to choke on the spool eventually, or the thread could bind up his guts. So I had to don thick work gloves, corner him, and grab the spool from where it was dangling an inch out of his mouth. When I got a hand on the spool, it came with about two feet of nasty, slimy thread.

He also punched my hand three times in the second it took me to grab the spool. He didn't use his claws but he managed to bruise the back of my hand through the work gloves. Dang cat hits like a truck apparently. The cat is usually pretty chill and I had never seen him get mad or scared enough to smack the poo poo out of anything. It was a reminder of how much cats are lil' killing machines.

# ¿ Nov 10, 2023 12:22

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

(Logs in for a day of shitposting)

"It's morbin time." :c00lbert:

# ¿ Nov 12, 2023 16:14

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

lobsterminator posted:

Maybe they could put the leftovers in the fridge and finish it later.

Could have just put it on the ground (in the box) and eaten it the next day. I ate many one or two day old floor pizzas in my college days. :wotwot:

# ¿ Nov 26, 2023 12:51

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

DandyLion posted:

From my mother�s sleep I fell into the State,
And I labored in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from my studio apartment, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to verbal flak and the nightmare fighters.
When my shift ended they washed the booth out with a hose.

Back when I was a teacher, I taught this poem from time to time. Well, not this one, but you know.

Just wanted you to know that I appreciated the reference.

# ¿ Dec 8, 2023 23:42

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Tiggum posted:

"Is it racist for a white guy to complain about not being able to say the n-word, to a Discord channel filled with confirmed neo-Nazis? On r/speedrun, apparently the answer is up for debate."

Youtube's algorithm saw me rewatch King of Kong on Netflix a while back, so I got served a couple Karl Jorts videos about how Billy Mitchell is a piece of poo poo. Well, the first video was about that, and the second one was a bunch of self-congratulatory bullcrap about how I, Karl Joerb, am a hero actually for going after someone that everyone knows is a huge piece of poo poo. I didn't even finish that one because I found Karl Jaeoorb's voice/attitude/presentation so loving annoying. Shame to hear he's a Nazi, because Billy Mitchell is about as bad, or worse. This has a "Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point" vibe to it.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2023 13:05

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

steinrokkan posted:

Billy Mitchell cheated at a video game, I don't think that makes him as bad as the Nazi. Also be was an important pioneer of military aviation.

Look up Billy Mitchell's politics. He's Nazi-adjacent.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2023 13:14

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Soul Dentist posted:

You know you can just not watch videos that are presented to you, right?

Settle down with scoring internet points there, Beavis. I literally said i couldn't stand to watch it after very long. :rolleyes:

SpacePig posted:

Man, I thought this was just shipping and manufacturing strikes at first. This rules even more than I thought.

lol at trying to compel the post office legally and getting it thrown out, too.

# ¿ Dec 18, 2023 22:42

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

greazeball posted:

Streaming music is ~fine~ unless you want to listen to obscure artists like Neil Young or there are giant holes in an artist's discography where certain albums are supposed to be. Or you live in Europe and certain tracks on the albums are just greyed out for some reason.

I'm in the US and I work in manufacturing so my cell reception is trash all day long from the metal-clad building I'm in. That's why I was paying for Youtube Music so I could download albums (and not have ads). I had a bunch of little problems with it and was souring on it for a while, then every single MF Doom album I had downloaded were made unavailable overnight one day. Like, I had them downloaded locally but they stopped appearing in the app's album listings.

I cancelled my subscription.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2024 12:36

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Mierenneuker posted:

Their "rules" for the publishers.
https://partner.steamgames.com/doc/marketing/upcoming_events/themed_sales/economy_2024#eligibility

"Games that are about capitalism, economy, or money grubbing are allowed in this event. It doesn't have to be real money�cookies count as a currency!�but the entire goal of the game should be to make money. If your game is mostly about shooting, or is an action-adventure game where you can buy things with your money, or is a city builder where you have to survive zombies/the heat death of the universe/dinosaurs, unfortunately this is not the event for that title.

Do you game-over if you run out of money? If the answer is yes, then your title is likely a good fit. If the answer is no, but the player can take out loans to try and extend that runway, then the answer is almost definitely yes. If you can game-over while you have money, then it's it's probably not a good fit for this event.

Games that are mostly about trading or bartering are not eligible for this event. Sorry, this is an event for Capitalist titles only!"

This is horseshit. Like, I don't care about this event one way or the other, but this last point is incredibly nit-picky and pedantic.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2024 11:51

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

I found out where they put all those deleted breaths.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhCypQDusYI

# ¿ Jan 16, 2024 01:32

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Megillah Gorilla posted:

gently caress me, I feel this post.

If you have something to send to me, go over it at least twice and cut out everything which doesn't need to be there. Then cut more.

Then put it in bullet points and cut it in half, again.

Then ask yourself, "Do I really need to send this at all?"

Then delete it.

Voila, perfect message length.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2024 13:41

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

I just look for my Bernie 2020 bumper sticker :smuggo:

...

# ¿ Feb 10, 2024 16:50

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

How did you get footage of me talking to my 5 year old

My son is 3. I have an older child. I am just counting the days until he is, I dunno, 30 7?

# ¿ Feb 11, 2024 12:58

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Hippocrass posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cB3eecS9Y78

# ¿ Feb 25, 2024 13:40

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Samovar posted:

Now is a good a time as any to post this.

The perfectly enunciated "OH NO" at the second nut blast is perfect.

It's like that scene from Spaceballs:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHbT6BjFvcA

# ¿ Feb 26, 2024 12:54

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Karate Bastard posted:

Running a train on the Trump truck, as it were.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2024 11:46

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/m2GremW.mp4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3Oz-bmdYiw&t=20s

# ¿ Mar 11, 2024 02:04

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Friends of mine self-published a kids book which had a funny ~~strikethrough~~ gag but when they inserted the text file into the graphics program the formatting got messed up and they had to take a sharpie and spend hours and hours fixing every single issue manually

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbARPso0DDQ

I work in a commercial print shop and you wouldn't believe how much this happens. We are pretty good at noticing mistakes (although I don't know if any printer would have noticed this particular example) and we'll actually reach out to the salesperson or customer directly to check on making changes. It's my understanding that most print shops will just run whatever you give them. I don't have a problem with that because, like, what do you expect? But our shop provides a little extra fail safe for customers that ~~are total fuckup MBA smoothbrains~~ are busy adults with lots of important things to do.

*In Rutger Hauer Blade Runner voice*

I have seen colleges misspell the word "education" in huge text on recruitment postcards. I have seen the word "asses" used in place of "assess." I have seen files take thirty minutes to spool up because every line in the art is built as a separate layer in Adobe. I have seen three different executives demand four different PMS numbers for the same field in their brand logo. I have seen every doctor in a huge hospital system get mad at some executive ghoul for months because they kept insisting on high gloss for all the appointment cards that are supposed to be written on with pen because the gloss "looks more *~professional~* than uncoated paper."
Time to go to work.

vvvv Edit: :hmmyes:

Unironically, this. I mean, we're not running it as a scam, but business dipshits don't proofread anything apparently, so you get what you get. We don't charge extra for covering for these morons, but we should.

Railing Kill has a new favorite as of 11:59 on Mar 14, 2024

# ¿ Mar 14, 2024 11:45

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

TEMPLE GRANDIN OS posted:

season your cybertruck by wiping your greasy face all over it and parking in the sun repeat daily and soon eggs'll slide right off isn't that amazing Nancyyyyyyy!

Kiss the Cybertruck--

CYBERTRUCK KISSES YOU! (Because the autopilot has run you over)

# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 11:05

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Szechuan posted:

I'm the smug smile on that APC.

Real Dreamworks-rear end APC there. :smuggo:

# ¿ May 3, 2024 12:44

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Air Skwirl posted:

https://twitter.com/crawf34/status/1786102215511331014?t=tfKh1Jih8ldOMyx9wyvhyA&s=19

at mechanic, lost fingat

# ¿ May 3, 2024 15:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 10, 2024 12:46

Railing Kill: Nov 14, 2008; You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Nordick posted:

Mr. Elon is helping me close my frunk.

# ¿ May 5, 2024 22:25

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF Schadenfreude: can't arm there, skate