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The Chicago Bears are a disaster. They have the worst defense in the league and an offense that will warp minds with its insanity. They also lost their defensive coordinator to a weird and mysterious scandal two games into the season, the quarterback is emotionally a shell of himself, the head coach is an oaf, and the GM has not yet made a move that is not terrible. The Bears have not won a game since October 24 last year. This season they are the first team to ever allow opponents to score 25 or more points in14 consecutive games-- in the entire history of the NFL. They have also lost 14 in a row, a team record, and are coming off the biggest blown lead in the history of the team. It is almost impossible for a team to go 0-17 in the NFL, but can the Chicago Bears do it? Historical Precedent: We've seen two 0-16 teams. The Detroit Lions, destroyed by Matt Millen, managed it in 2008. The Cleveland Browns did it in 2017. The Bucs also went 0-14 in 1974. Remaining Schedule: at Commanders, 10/5 (Thursday game, lmao) Vikings 10/15 Raiders 10/22 at Chargers 10/29 at Saints 11/5 Panthers 11/9 (Thursday game, potential 0-17 Super Bowl) at Lions 11/19 at Vikings 11/27 Merciful Bye Week Lions 12/10 at Browns 12/17 Cardinals 12/24, Merry Christmas you filthy animals Falcons 12/31 and a miserable New Year at Packers 1/7 Biggest Streak Threats -at Commanders: taken off the board after the bears were demoralized and broken today, it is mathematically impossible for them to win this game -Vikings: On paper, Kirk should shred them, but the Vikings would do something like literally lose to the bears -PANTHERS: This might be the sole winnable game. There is no incentive for either team to tank, since the Bears own both their picks, the greatest Thursday night game ever played. -Cardinals: The Cardinals were supposed to be extremely bad, but they already have a win this season unlike the Bears. Also Murray might be back by then. Eberflus Firing Watch The Bears have famously never fired a coach midseason, but it is impossible to imagine them going on like this. The Bears have two Thursday night games with "mini-byes" afterwards. They also have a bye after Thanksgiving. Could Matt Eberflus be a literal Black Friday firing?  Please join this thread every week as we track whether the Bears are bad enough dudes to lose literally every single game. R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 03:48 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 03:43
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| # ? May 9, 2024 19:54 |
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I hope they do it for you, R.D. Mangles
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Oct 2, 2023 03:50
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I want to take Caleb and Marvin Harrison, but I kind feel like we should just take 2 300 lb defensive lineman and let them go somewhere that wont break those wonderful offensive weapons
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Oct 2, 2023 03:51
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This thread is the spiritual successor to the bears prediction thread. I don't care if you don't believe
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Oct 2, 2023 03:52
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The Glumslinger posted:I want to take Caleb and Marvin Harrison, but I kind feel like we should just take 2 300 lb defensive lineman and let them go somewhere that wont break those wonderful offensive weapons Trade 1 and 2 to bad teams that keep mortgaging their future until the bears end up picks 1-10 in 2027
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Oct 2, 2023 03:54
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It would truly be an honor for the bears to pull this off.
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Oct 2, 2023 03:56
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just wanted to say I enjoy your posts, R.D. thanks and God bless
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Oct 2, 2023 04:00
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Mystic Stylez posted:just wanted to say I enjoy your posts, R.D. thanks and God bless thank you
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Oct 2, 2023 04:03
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The Lions will find some way to blow one of their games to Chicago, I feel it in my gut. Your organization is a Goddamn mess though, I'll grant you that.
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Oct 2, 2023 04:08
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Got some high quality used lawn mowers in stock, DM me offers if you’re in the Chicagoland area. No low balling, I know what I’ve got
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Oct 2, 2023 04:15
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Panthers/Bears is gonna be the worst football game ever recorded, they might have to turn it off at the half and broadcast reruns of Big Bang Theory instead
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Oct 2, 2023 04:27
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INTRODUCTION TO BEARS In case you actually watch good football, you might be wondering, how is this possible and who is responsible for this? Here is a rundown on key Bears peronnel in their quest to lose every single game on their schedule and more than 20 consecutive NFL games. GEORGE MCCASKEY  The son of Virginia McCaskey who is 750 years old, he is the McCaskey child who somehow is most competent at running a football team. A clueless fail-grandson, he is clearly beholden to the tradition of the Chicago Bears by willingly walking around with that astonishingly stupid mustache. Most recently realized he was incapable of running a search for a GM and coach so he decided to get in on the cutting edge of NFL hiring practices by bringing in 80-year-old Bill Polian as a consultant. This is the result. RYAN POLES  Hired as GM in 2022, Poles came from the Chiefs. He is 38 years old and this is his first job running anything in football. In year 1, he executed a complete tear-down, trading defensive stars Khalil Mack and Roquan Smith for draft picks. Thanks to Lovie Smith, he secured the #1 pick in the draft, trading it to Carolina for their pick, their #1 pick this year, and receiver DJ Moore. He also traded the Bears' own pick for WR Chase Claypool who is currently exiled from the team for being a malcontent. So far has focused on acquiring defensive players, hiring a defensive coach, and assembling the worst defense in football for the second year in a row. MATT EBERFLUS  Look at this goof. WHAT IS THE H.I.T.S. PRINCIPLE The H.I.T.S. principle means trying really hard and trying to get takeaways. Matt Eberflus invented this. The Bears currently have a -6 turnover differential through 4 games. LUKE GETSY  Getsy is a protege of disgraced former Denver coach Nate Hackett. He was hired out of Green Bay. I have no idea what a quarterbacks coach does with late-career Aaron Rodgers, and it turns out it wasn't figure out how to coach offense. The Bears' offense is confused, dumb, and seemingly designed to make Fields as ineffective as possible. JUSTIN FIELDS  A talented quarterback drafted by the previous GM Ryan Pace. Fields was unleashed as a terrifying force in the running game last year compiling the second-most yards by a quarterback in the history of the league only behind  . Though Fields has a rocket arm, the passing game has come along a lot more slowly. Now in his third year in the NFL, Fields largely sits around watching his terrible offense progress and ignoring rare open receivers before immediately running into the opposing defensive line. He has been sacked more than 100 times in less than three full seasons. This year, Fields has realized that the Bears are now not just getting him killed but threatening his career, and he has begun making pointed remarks about how bad the coaches are before having to awkwardly walk them back. I have no idea if Fields could ever or will ever be a good NFL quarterback but he seems like a nice dude and I desperately would like to see him rescued from this organization. Whatever the result, he is broken here and the Bears will likely ruin another quarterback next year.TYSON BAGENT  When Justin Fields is inevitably murdered by his offensive line's incompetence or his own happy feet, the Bears will use rookie quarterback Tyson Bagent. Bagent, a UDFA out of DII Shepherd who set a bunch of passing records, will almost certainly pilot the Bears calmly to 0-17. If he can't do it, the Bears have 0-17 specialist Nate Peterman lurking in Halas Hall. I believe. R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 04:32 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 04:28
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The Bears are a walking reminder that things can always, always, get worse, and for this reason alone they will not go 0-17.
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Oct 2, 2023 04:32
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On the ground floor pulling for da bears
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Oct 2, 2023 04:34
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Danny LaFever posted:On the ground floor pulling for da bears we need the raw posting energy of a Millen '08 Veteran who has seen it all and won't get rattled.
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Oct 2, 2023 04:36
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drat the 0-17 watch is early this year. Although with this team, it almost feels inevitable already.
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Oct 2, 2023 04:43
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I believe in Justin Fields, he can do this
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Oct 2, 2023 04:52
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Felonious_Monk posted:I believe in Justin Fields, he can do this He just had a career game against the (now second) worst defense in the league, and lost. The bears curse is in full swing
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Oct 2, 2023 04:59
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The 1985 Bears went 15-1 on their way to a Super Bowl. The last Bears team to win only 1 game was in 1969 where they went 1-13. Thanks to expanding the schedule we should root for a 1-15-1 season.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:09
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Free Justin Fields. Maybe he was always doomed, but if you *can* ruin a QB, the Bears are running a loving clinic on how! Poor dude finally has a pretty good game passing and then the Bears go and lose to the Denver Broncos anyway somehow, noted "team" that had a 70-burger dropped on them last week and have been a hallmark of offensive ineptitude for years (including this one!). I can only assume that Justin Fields was a very evil man in a past life and this is his penance.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:14
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Chicago's punishment for being the best city in the USA is being an absolute nightmare pit of comical despair when it comes to pro sports teams well that and the graft
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Oct 2, 2023 05:17
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I don't think the Bears are going to lose every game but Jesus it's sad to see how badly this franchise has collapsed and how toxic it's become. I don't even know how you begin fixing this.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:17
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I believe in my Chicago Bears Specifically, in their ability to be unfathomably terrible and disappointing. My brain says they will win 2 games. My heart wants them winless.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:45
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R.D. Mangles posted:INTRODUCTION TO BEARS this write-up owns. thank you for this.
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Oct 2, 2023 06:01
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I think they can do it OP. Just Touchdowns O'Sullivan showed me the path, but today embued me with the light
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Oct 2, 2023 06:22
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eberflus seems more like a college basketball coach. appearancely. give it a shot
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Oct 2, 2023 07:04
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I think something to note is that if they do a 0-17, it's much worse then it appears since the lost win was this time last year. I think the browns and Lions managed to do better then that
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Oct 2, 2023 07:14
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tinstaach posted:The Bears are a walking reminder that things can always, always, get worse, and for this reason alone they will not go 0-17. Pace's pickup of Carolina's #1 is gonna look prescient in a few months.
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Oct 2, 2023 07:26
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UCS Hellmaker posted:I think something to note is that if they do a 0-17, it's much worse then it appears since the lost win was this time last year. I think the browns and Lions managed to do better then that So, looking this up, the 2017 Browns were bookended by the also loving atrocious 2016 Browns, and the 2018 Browns, who went 7-8-1. That 2018 record was their best since literally  , which is its own kind of awful. The 2016 Browns had one win, against the Chargers in Week 16. Where it gets truly loving horrifying is that while the 0-16 2017 season gave them a 17-game losing streak only broken by tying the Steelers in 2018 Week One, they also had a seventeen game losing streak PREVIOUSLY, broken by that Chargers win, which was preceded by 14 losses in '16 and three at the end of '15.Utterly horrifying. However, they did in fact get that one win, setting their losing streak record (for that window) at 17. The 2008 Lions actually had it worse, forming a 19 game losing streak between beating the Chiefs in Week 16 of '07 and beating Washington in Week 3 of '09. However, they did manage a second win in '09 and had a more reasonable 7-9 season in '07, so, no double hell there. 19 does tie the winless streak of the '16-'18 Browns, though (when not counting the tie with the Steelers as breaking the streak, that one dragged on until beating the Jets in Week 3, famously opening the "Cleveland Water Supply" of those shackled fridges of beer). The longest losing streak in the NFL is held by the Cardinals, which should surprise absolutely no-one, racking up 29 consecutive losses between 1942 and 1945. This one doesn't get talked about as much for fairly evident reasons -- while the Cardinals have always been bad, there were extenuating circumstances between '42 and '45 that kind of drew the attention of all the actual football talent, and this stretch includes games lost when merged with the Steelers as the Card-Pitt "Carpitts". The ACTUAL worst losing streak, though, everyone should probably know -- it's the team that set every modern legend for sucking, the Expansion Tampa Bay Buccaneers! Under the reign of Hugh Culverhouse, The Cheapest Owner On Earth, the Bucs lost 26 straight games from their founding until beating the (also loving awful at that point) Saints. Keeping in mind that NFL seasons were 14 games at that point -- the Bucs were winless in their first season and didn't win in the second one until game 13! It's really loving hard to be that bad nowadays. The Expansion Bucs came about in an era where the league's expansion policies were positively outrageous in terms of supporting the team, and it might be physically impossible to be as cheap a football owner nowadays as Culverhouse was in those days, on top of how incredibly bad he was at player relations and anything else relations. The Bears have currently lost 14 games in a row -- to even tie the record, they'll need to go winless all the way to the last game of the year. Only by going 0-17 can they beat the Expansion Bucs and set a new record in being godawful. This really would require a level of Not Giving A poo poo that even the McCaskey Coalition I don't think can manage -- it would require actively not helping the team or making any changes to the staff whatsoever and letting it loving rot for the entire year, as Culverhouse basically did. I'm highly skeptical it can happen. That being said, if the Bears lose six more games in a row, they will officially be worse than either the 2016 Browns or the 2008 Lions ever were. That requires getting no wins at least to and including the Panthers Super Tank Bowl in November, though. Redeye Flight fucked around with this message at 08:01 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 07:42
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Redeye Flight posted:This really would require a level of Not Giving A poo poo that even the McCaskey Coalition I don't think can manage -- it would require actively not helping the team or making any changes to the staff whatsoever and letting it loving rot for the entire year, as Culverhouse basically did. I'm highly skeptical it can happen. George McCaskey: "Challenge accepted!"
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Oct 2, 2023 08:30
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Since they’ve never fired a coach mid season, how many more consecutive losses would it take to fire Eberflus? I say he can’t make it past 0-17 dating back to last year let alone the rest of this season.
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Oct 2, 2023 08:38
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R.D. Mangles posted:
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Oct 2, 2023 08:54
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tinstaach posted:The Bears are a walking reminder that things can always, always, get worse, and for this reason alone they will not go 0-17. The only winless teams ever (that weren't strike-shortened, roster drained due to wartime, or a team that folded basically right after): '08 Lions - fired everyone, got their best QB ever, made playoffs 3 years later '17 Browns - fired almost everyone (HC took a couple more weeks), got a QB who won his first start and had success there and elsewhere, made playoffs 3 years later I have faith that both the Bears can and will go 0-17, and that this will in no way be their rock bottom/it won't stop things from getting worse for them Do you trust them to a) fire everyone, b) get a QB who works out despite them/doesn't get broken physically (Cutler) or emotionally (Fields) because of them, and c) make playoffs within the following 3 years? 
Chris James 2 fucked around with this message at 13:14 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 13:10
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A cottage industry of former QB’s and tape gurus have been driving a lot of the conversation around this offense, and they’re all circling around the question “Is Justin Good?” The current consensus is somewhere around “there’s still a chance he can be good, but he’s making plenty of mistakes and playing hero ball too much. However, the playcalling sucks, and extremely inconsistent play around him is killing his ability to get in a rhythm, which it looks like he needs” Dudes running the same route standing right next to each other, the TE running into the RT which lets the DE free to the QB, the IOL being a wet paper bag, I could go on. The best QB’s can overcome this kinda stuff and elevate the players around them, and Fields has a year or two to start doing that consistently. Most of his highlights last year were him running for his loving life because somebody messed up and nobody is open downfield. I posit to you that he’s being set up to fail and we’re venturing into “ruining any chance he had at a successful career” territory. Look at this poo poo. This is loving offensive malpractice and should be illegal, you’re trying to get this kid killed with this crap Dexo posted:https://twitter.com/BearWeatherFans/status/1708609938334142674
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Oct 2, 2023 13:12
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On the fumble 6, that caused them to lose this game, I noticed the unblocked DE who Justin can’t see, and is hypothetically either supposed to bite on the fake (why would you ever when JF1 is the QB) or make that guy miss (edge rushers get paid a lot of money too), and was like “I’ve seen this play so many times this season already, and they did it half a dozen times last season, and I know for sure other defenses have seen it too”. Putting this play into your game plan is straight up fireable in my option
GNU Order fucked around with this message at 13:18 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 13:16
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I want to be a part of history. I want to see this team be the first to go 0-17. I want Virginia to live long enough to see this team become the official laughingstock of the NFL. Just all out embarrassment.
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Oct 2, 2023 13:21
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Chris James 2 posted:
The Bears? loving never.
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Oct 2, 2023 13:50
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I can only picture the Bears getting a quality QB via free agency and that's by throwing Deshaun Watson-level money at them.
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Oct 2, 2023 14:04
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GNU Order posted:A cottage industry of former QB’s and tape gurus have been driving a lot of the conversation around this offense, and they’re all circling around the question “Is Justin Good?” The current consensus is somewhere around “there’s still a chance he can be good, but he’s making plenty of mistakes and playing hero ball too much. However, the playcalling sucks, and extremely inconsistent play around him is killing his ability to get in a rhythm, which it looks like he needs” Dudes running the same route standing right next to each other, the TE running into the RT which lets the DE free to the QB, the IOL being a wet paper bag, I could go on. The best QB’s can overcome this kinda stuff and elevate the players around them, and Fields has a year or two to start doing that consistently. Most of his highlights last year were him running for his loving life because somebody messed up and nobody is open downfield. I thought Justin Fields' thing was also not throwing the ball when he should throw the ball?
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Oct 2, 2023 14:21
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Haven't ready everything ITT yet but still lollin that the bears were up 28-7 with less than a minute left in the 3rd and still lost.
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Oct 2, 2023 14:24
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