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Sticking a thumb in the taco dip at Christmas. Telling you no one was bi when he was a kid while drinking a Mickey’s grenade. Falling asleep in the recliner both before and after Thanksgiving dinner. Goosing your aunt by the stove.
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Oct 2, 2023 05:57
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| # ? May 5, 2024 23:31 |
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Glockenspiel/Drum set for Christmas!
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Oct 2, 2023 06:00
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Sticking a thumb in your bi aunt by the stove then falling asleep in the recliner.
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Oct 2, 2023 06:01
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Shows you how to key a beer
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Oct 2, 2023 06:03
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Uncle Buck https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098554/
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Oct 2, 2023 06:05
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brother to one of your parents
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Oct 2, 2023 06:05
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Most uncles know how and when to fist
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Oct 2, 2023 06:10
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Ask if they want to play hide and seek and then adhere to whatever bullshit rules they have. This works well in the early goings
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Oct 2, 2023 06:10
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BigBadSteve posted:Sticking a thumb in your bi aunt by the stove then falling asleep in the recliner.
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Oct 2, 2023 06:13
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goated still https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0ek-nHq5lc
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Oct 2, 2023 06:14
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Sex Farm posted:Ask if they want to play hide and seek and then adhere to whatever bullshit rules they have. This works well in the early goings Playing Hide and seek, saying you'll count, and then just going and getting a beer and enjoying some silence for a while. Good at family Christmas.
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Oct 2, 2023 06:14
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Bad Purchase posted:brother to one of your parents In-laws are uncles, too 
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Oct 2, 2023 06:14
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"yeah sis let me know when the turkey is about 20 minutes from being done, I have some stuff in my car I gotta get" disappears, comes back with fire engine red eyes "ok its Turkey Time"
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Oct 2, 2023 06:15
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Wee posted:Playing Hide and seek, saying you'll count, and then just going and getting a beer and enjoying some silence for a while. Good at family Christmas. Gonna save this one for future reference
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Oct 2, 2023 06:20
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Just get drunk and show everyone your dick.
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Oct 2, 2023 06:24
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hey kids whoever can scream the loudest gets a dollar
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Oct 2, 2023 06:25
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GolfHole posted:hey kids whoever can scream the loudest gets a dollar stealin dis
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Oct 2, 2023 06:28
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Clogging the toilet and blaming it on the dog
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Oct 2, 2023 06:29
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hadouken
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Oct 2, 2023 06:29
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Buce posted:hadouken *Mercilessly stunlocking my nephew in the corner in MK2*
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Oct 2, 2023 06:44
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pull my finger
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Oct 2, 2023 06:44
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Goes from being the fun uncle who brings over GTA3 even though mom doesn't approve, to the uncle who I have to drive home from the courthouse after he pleads no-contest to hiring a prostitute while on police duty.
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Oct 2, 2023 07:36
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show the kids how to turn on the garden hose
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Oct 2, 2023 07:48
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Brother Tadger posted:*Mercilessly stunlocking my nephew in the corner in MK2* lol
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Oct 2, 2023 08:07
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The hustle when nobody’s playing any music at all
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Oct 2, 2023 08:18
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emSparkly posted:Goes from being the fun uncle who brings over GTA3 even though mom doesn't approve, to the uncle who I have to drive home from the courthouse after he pleads no-contest to hiring a prostitute while on police duty. My fun uncle got arrested for growing marijuana and unregistered firearm possession.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:12
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Buying a gift on the day of the birthday party at a Walgreens or a gas station. “Happy birthday, Joey! Here’s a deck of playing cards and some ChapStick! Don’t use it all at once!” *the deck of playing cards is open and has a 70% off clearance sticker because it’s incomplete*
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Oct 2, 2023 17:20
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Get a huge jar of quarters and each kid gets to keep as many as they can grab in one handful
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Oct 2, 2023 17:53
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKRdYoB1wkI
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Oct 2, 2023 17:54
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Talking about their many vacations that are much better than anything you get to experience.
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Oct 2, 2023 17:55
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Hey what Lego set do you want for Christmas? No, I know your Mom says you have enough already but she can't complain if it comes from me.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:05
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"Hey bro your kid is crying and it's not my problem."
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Oct 2, 2023 18:07
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middle school bully style noogies, wedgies and wet willies
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Oct 2, 2023 18:11
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"Yeah you're 9 years old, you can watch an R-rated movie. This one isn't even that crazy, it's a horror comedy. You probably see crazier stuff on TikTok, right?"
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Oct 2, 2023 18:14
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there is a wide spectrum between "drunkenly sexually harasses you at a cousin's marriage reception" and "throws rocks into tree branches on a nature hike while you aren't looking to fool you into thinking koalas are native to the northern rockys but you just turn to look a little too late"
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Oct 2, 2023 18:20
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Carlton Banks Teller posted:"throws rocks into tree branches on a nature hike while you aren't looking to fool you into thinking koalas are native to the northern rockys but you just turn to look a little too late" this one is oddly specific
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Oct 2, 2023 18:42
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Carlton Banks Teller posted:there is a wide spectrum between "drunkenly sexually harasses you at a cousin's marriage reception" and "throws rocks into tree branches on a nature hike while you aren't looking to fool you into thinking koalas are native to the northern rockys but you just turn to look a little too late" Sorry about your uncles.
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Oct 2, 2023 18:57
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I'm wanted for insurance fraud so I'm gonna live under your bed. Please empty my ashtray and toilet bucket daily.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:05
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"Next time a kid picks on you at school don't fight them, that's what they want. Tell them you're sorry their parents got divorced. There's like a 50/50 shot this is going to work immediately. If the parents aren't already divorced just add 'oh, sorry you had to find out this way, my uncle's your mom's divorce lawyer.' Odds are that'll freak them out enough to stop picking on you."
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Oct 2, 2023 19:22
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| # ? May 5, 2024 23:31 |
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If you have to babysit, organize a "Kids Olympics" and just run them back and forth for a while, hyping up the races. Then sit them in front of the TV with mac and cheese and a Disney movie. Done and done.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:23
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