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redshirt posted:If you have to babysit, organize a "Kids Olympics" and just run them back and forth for a while, hyping up the races. This is a pro move. My nephew likes to go on "spy missions" that basically amount to running up and down stairs for 20 minutes and plugging in some Christmas lights.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:26
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Locking your nephews in the tower of London while you usurp the throne.
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Oct 2, 2023 19:34
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dying young and making you wonder if there is a family curse a la the 27 club
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Oct 2, 2023 19:39
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I think my best white trash 90s memory is when I was real little my uncle moved his RV onto our front lawn to live for a while, I loved it because hell yeah big RV in my yard and he had a Sega Genesis so he was living like a king as far as I was concerned
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Oct 2, 2023 19:42
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buy everyone (kids & adults) really terrible hats and tell the kids to help insist everybody wear them
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Oct 2, 2023 19:52
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Punkinhead posted:I think my best white trash 90s memory is when I was real little my uncle moved his RV onto our front lawn to live for a while, I loved it because hell yeah big RV in my yard and he had a Sega Genesis so he was living like a king as far as I was concerned my white trash 90s is the much-younger-than-dad uncle living in grandmas basement with neon posters and a Playstation 1, with all those fuckin' Gex games. living at home in his 20s before it was cool.
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Oct 2, 2023 20:31
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There was a moment when they really tried to convince you Gex was A Thing
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Oct 2, 2023 20:33
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Hold the baby, sway him back and forth, and hand him back to Mom just as he yarks.
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Oct 2, 2023 20:38
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Szyznyk posted:Hold the baby, sway him back and forth, and hand him back to Mom just as he yarks. Someone's gotta a poopy diaper! Well, gotta go. Bye!
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Oct 2, 2023 20:45
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My mom used to have a grudge against my uncle because my older brother wouldn't stop talking about the best dinner ever his uncle got him: a Slim Jim and a Big Gulp.
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Oct 2, 2023 20:56
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Explaining the finer points of snitches get stitches to a 9 year old at her birthday party.
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Oct 2, 2023 21:22
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offering you tickets to his next gig even though you live nowhere near Detroit and wouldn't be allowed in that particular performance establishment.
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Oct 2, 2023 22:09
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My uncle dated A LOT when he got divorced. Every single family event he had a new girlfriend with him. Some decades later, he got a random Facebook message from one of the ol' gals. Seems the reason she "moved away for a job" was really because she was knocked up and he was the father. The kid was now 25 years old and just wanted to know more about his family roots. Very common I know. My Uncle had grown kids of his own, a new wife, and had just retired. I think they met face to face a few times, once with a lawyer present, and then never spoke again. The lawyer was there to make sure no one was trying to claim past child support (they weren't). Our entire family was told to keep this on the down low especially around my Grandmother (Uncle's mother), the Matriarch of the family that everyone feared. I never even met this person, a blood cousin, because everyone just...stopped talking to her. Imagine being afraid of your own mother that much. I never even knew any of this went down until a year later. You could barely even talk about it in secret. Eventually the years went by, Gramma died and everyone just stopped talking or even acknowledging another relative. All because a guy was afraid to tell his mommy he knocked someone up and didn't know it. .....Oh, right. Um....a Big Beef and Cheddar with curly fries to go. Thank you
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Oct 2, 2023 22:44
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Lets you look at photo albums of Polaroids he took at Sturgis
Bonzo fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Oct 2, 2023 |
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Oct 2, 2023 22:46
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Here’s a butterfly knife I got off Amazon. Don’t tell your mom.
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Oct 2, 2023 22:51
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Pulling back some grungy wood paneling to reveal a well used Ziploc bag of the shittiest bush weed known to man and then holding it up while making a shushing motion with his finger
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Oct 2, 2023 22:59
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One of my uncles had a pimped out Econovan with floor to wall shag and a fridge and a couch that turned into a bed, with a little disco ball hanging near the bubble window. Captains chairs. No bitching mural outside though, just plain tan.
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Oct 2, 2023 23:02
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redshirt posted:One of my uncles had a pimped out Econovan with floor to wall shag and a fridge and a couch that turned into a bed, with a little disco ball hanging near the bubble window. Captains chairs. No bitching mural outside though, just plain tan. His mom made him paint over the sweet airbrushed wizard
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Oct 2, 2023 23:03
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Punkinhead posted:I think my best white trash 90s memory is when I was real little my uncle moved his RV onto our front lawn to live for a while, I loved it because hell yeah big RV in my yard and he had a Sega Genesis so he was living like a king as far as I was concerned both of my uncles lived with us as kids at one point. Just like "whoops, you're moving back into the bedroom with your brother and your uncle is getting your room" One of my uncles is close enough in age to basically be a big brother, and it was 
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Oct 2, 2023 23:04
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Haptical Sales Slut posted:Here’s a butterfly knife I got off Amazon. Don’t tell your mom. Bonzo posted:Lets you look at photo albums of Polaroids he took at Sturgis On brand.
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Oct 2, 2023 23:51
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Can’t go Classic Uncle on this because “drink a shitload of Miller Lites while driving” or “come back from Vietnam a heroin addict” are no longer acceptable.
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Oct 2, 2023 23:52
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not seeing me for 9 years then showing up at christmas and announcing you are getting married. that's real uncle poo poo
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Oct 3, 2023 00:07
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He was going to chaperone your school field trip, but it turns out he had a one-nighter with your teacher. "Sorry little man, Principal Morris says I gotta sit this one out. "
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Oct 3, 2023 00:31
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Brother Tadger posted:Glockenspiel/Drum set for Christmas!
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Oct 3, 2023 00:37
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GolfHole posted:buy everyone (kids & adults) really terrible hats and tell the kids to help insist everybody wear them The hats say federal boobie inspector
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Oct 3, 2023 00:47
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when my sister makes me drink too much i tell her kids all the crimes i've committed
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Oct 3, 2023 00:49
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i was also the first person in their lives to introduce them to VR so i have achieved a core memory
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Oct 3, 2023 00:50
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Private Cumshoe posted:The hats say federal boobie inspector The Shithead hat with the rubber dog turd on the brim.
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Oct 3, 2023 00:50
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Take 'em to the Fair!
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Oct 3, 2023 00:55
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Murder your brother, marry his wife.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:01
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Private Cumshoe posted:The hats say federal boobie inspector to actually become a federal boob inspector
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Oct 3, 2023 01:02
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drinking a budweiser while driving a harley one handed and no helmet
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Oct 3, 2023 01:07
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I took 2 of my nieces to get piercings their parents didn't approve of. I buy their art and flew across country to surprise one of them at her college graduation. I don't tell their parents when they drunk text me but I make sure they're with friends and drinking water and getting back home ok. I take their music recommendations and tell them how good their taste is even if I don't like it. I keep their secrets because my wife and I are the lone sane lefties in the family.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:15
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HenryJLittlefinger posted:I took 2 of my nieces to get piercings their parents didn't approve of. A solid Uncle
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Oct 3, 2023 01:16
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All my uncles were pretty normal, but man, I got a couple crazy rear end aunts that are going through it right now.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:19
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My uncle helped me convince my cousin that Friday the 13th Jason was real and also gave me a tape of Outkast's Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik. Two solid uncle moves, as far as I'm concerned.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:27
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YeahTubaMike posted:My uncle helped me convince my cousin that Friday the 13th Jason was real and also gave me a tape of Outkast's Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik. Two solid uncle moves, as far as I'm concerned. he is real, you can go to the lake and see for yourself
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Oct 3, 2023 01:29
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Giving all the kids slingshots Going on a work trip to another country (actually in jail)
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Oct 3, 2023 01:29
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I’ll be visiting nieces and nephews in a few weeks, some of which I have never met and they are in kindergarten. I’m taking notes so I can be a good uncle.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:37
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Super Mario Maker on the WII U. Just try reminding them that the battery is shite.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:48
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