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Haptical Sales Slut posted:I’ll be visiting nieces and nephews in a few weeks, some of which I have never met and they are in kindergarten. When they show you something, drop everything and immediately ignore every adult in the room and tell them their thing is the greatest thing there is. It's like giving a dog a whole jar of peanut butter.
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Oct 3, 2023 01:56
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| # ? May 6, 2024 10:02 |
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im buyin swords for all the kids
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Oct 3, 2023 01:56
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Two words: Ninja Stars
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Oct 3, 2023 01:58
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Calvin and Hobbes is solid uncle territory
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Oct 3, 2023 01:59
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Pew! I just launched a paper wrap onto a goal using my finger.
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Oct 3, 2023 02:01
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A Fancy Hat posted:"Yeah you're 9 years old, you can watch an R-rated movie. This one isn't even that crazy, it's a horror comedy. You probably see crazier stuff on TikTok, right?" "Do you kids like fireworks? Like.. the REAL ones?" "It smells out here, behind the shed!" "Yeah, there must be a skunk or something in the area, crazy" Haptical Sales Slut posted:I’ll be visiting nieces and nephews in a few weeks, some of which I have never met and they are in kindergarten. HenryJLittlefinger posted:When they show you something, drop everything and immediately ignore every adult in the room and tell them their thing is the greatest thing there is. It's like giving a dog a whole jar of peanut butter. Pro Move. blight rhino fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Oct 3, 2023 |
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Oct 3, 2023 02:10
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Has a tattoo that Dad says you're not old enough to see yet.
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Oct 3, 2023 02:21
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I feel like a ton of these are straight up goon confessions.
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Oct 3, 2023 02:28
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now I’m buying matching guns for the swords
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Oct 3, 2023 02:33
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chainchompz posted:I feel like a ton of these are straight up goon confessions. This is true about most threads
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Oct 3, 2023 08:07
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I cuss in front of the kids and tell them that the only reason they can't is because other adults consider it rude. I don't, though. Have at.
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Oct 3, 2023 08:19
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Let your nephew have one sip out of the beer bottle. The taste will keep him away from the stuff for a while.
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Oct 3, 2023 09:00
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Go ahead, pull my finger.
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Oct 3, 2023 13:52
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Not molesting one's nieces and nephews is a good start.
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Oct 3, 2023 17:53
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Ambassadorofsodomy posted:Not molesting one's nieces and nephews is a good start. My “don’t molest your nieces and nephews” shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt
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Oct 3, 2023 18:41
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be the only person they ever interact with in their entire childhood that isn’t under the thumb of the wealthy-ish in-law grandparents
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Oct 3, 2023 18:45
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HenryJLittlefinger posted:When they show you something, drop everything and immediately ignore every adult in the room and tell them their thing is the greatest thing there is. It's like giving a dog a whole jar of peanut butter. That sounds about right 
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Oct 3, 2023 21:59
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Check out this awesome band, like, literally, the best band of all time: *Plays Led Zep's Kashmir
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Oct 3, 2023 22:07
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clogging the toilet
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Oct 3, 2023 22:10
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redshirt posted:Check out this awesome band, like, literally, the best band of all time: My uncle Dan was the first person to play the Rocky Horror soundtrack for me. RIP Miller Lite Uncle.
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Oct 3, 2023 22:12
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Sees you at the strip club Stops by to say, "This night never happened" Buys you a 2 for 1 lapdance as he leaves
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Oct 3, 2023 22:24
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My sister told me that she was taking her new daughter to a "water babies" class so I said "you should take her to a fire babies class, that'll put some hair on her chest" and now my sister is mad at me.
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Oct 3, 2023 22:26
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my earth wind and fire baby would beat up your sister's stupid water baby
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Oct 3, 2023 22:37
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My mom made fun of my ex brother in law for being an idiot because he wanted to throw a 1 year old in a pool to teach the baby to swim. He won custody of the kids, too.
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Oct 3, 2023 22:38
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Buys you the expensive, NFL hoodie for Christmas. When Mom yells about it being expensive, he yells back, "Well It's from Sanata, Linda! What am I supposed to do? Ruin Christmas?!?" later on mom finds the security tag still attached and tucked inside the sleeve
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Oct 4, 2023 00:19
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Bonzo posted:Buys you the expensive, NFL hoodie for Christmas. When Mom yells about it being expensive, he yells back, "Well It's from Sanata, Linda! What am I supposed to do? Ruin Christmas?!?" Lol Pro Move. Expert Move is getting one of the devices from Amazon that removes them
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Oct 4, 2023 02:35
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlLvS1vH9Tk
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Oct 4, 2023 02:56
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Definitely not making GBS threads (all diarrhea)
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Oct 4, 2023 02:57
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Gave them a trampoline, if you didn't sprain at least one joint or break a bone growing up you missed out.
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Oct 4, 2023 03:34
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Brew your own beer openly and grow your own weed secretly Give young me my first ever Walkman
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Oct 4, 2023 07:04
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Situationally dependant recipe for peals of laughter: "Knock knock." "Who's there?" *farts*
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Oct 4, 2023 09:28
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| # ? May 6, 2024 10:02 |
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Breetai posted:Situationally dependant recipe for peals of laughter:  
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