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A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad
The Great Twist

A Fancy Hat posted:

I had a really terrible kidney stone in 2022 that I could not pass. They ended up scheduling me for surgery where they'd blast it with a laser. I wasn't nervous about being sedated and knocked out, but the idea of all this stuff going up my dick freaked me out pretty bad.

After the surgery I woke up real groggy and they told me to go urinate but not to worry because "there'd be some blood". I proceeded to spray out a stream of bloody urine everywhere and freak myself out so badly that I almost passed out. I also had a stent in my urethra which had to be removed a few days later. The doctor basically yanked it out like he was starting a lawnmower, I almost passed out again, and my wife said I looked like I went into shock.

Still better than the pain of that kidney stone but holy poo poo, what a nightmare few days that recovery was.

This delightful anecdote will definitely help the OP with their anxiety!

I haven't gotten a colonoscopy yet, but they are a very routine procedure. I think the prep is probably annoying where they give you laxatives to spend a day on the toilet making GBS threads everything out.

I just hate not being able to eat before medical stuff, my blood sugar or whatever tanks and I feel terrible from that. Really try to get procedures scheduled as early in the day as possible.

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A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad
The Great Twist

redshirt posted:

Side effects: Anal leakage

That's the intended primary effect isn't it?

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad
The Great Twist

Deptfordx posted:

Remember it's important to establish dominance, pick a fight with the weakest looking member of the medical team and kick their rear end. Then the rest will respect you.

This can't be emphasized enough. The US health system is a zero sum game, you want to be a winner, so don't go in with a victim mentality or you'll get eaten alive

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