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Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




....Tomorrow. EST. I am going to send a virus to your phone and you are going to hear things, strange things from your phone. This is how you will know it's me. And upon hearing this it will be too late to do anything, I have gleamed your phone's cube.

Send money, bitcoin, or dogecoin or a VHS copy of the hit 1996 film of "All Dogs Go to Heaven 2" to my patreon, peacock account, or your preferred crypto service. If you do not send me this I am going to steal photos from your phone and post them somewhere unannounced online.

This is your only warning. I prefer small bills in $20's and specifically VHS.

Nelson Mandingo fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Oct 3, 2023

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The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004

*furiously fills phones storage with endless poorly lit pictures of my flaccid penis*

Henry Lee Mucus
Dec 11, 2003

I'm going to hack your mom at 2:20 PM and by hack I mean have hot sex with

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Henry Lee Mucus posted:

I'm going to hack your mom at 2:20 PM and by hack I mean have hot sex with

I'm loving ANgRY

You're done. You're out. Get out of this loving thread. Your phone is zotted tomorrow you just had to open your loving mouth

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





I got one of those blackmail emails telling me a hacker recorded me jerking off on my webcam and to send them bitcoin or else my jack session pictures would be sent to my friends and family. The email included an ancient password I had once used as "proof".

Long story short, everyone now knows I have a micropenis.

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


sounds good to me pal, hack away!

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Can you at least stop sending me these phishing text messages on signal where you pretend to be an asian girl

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

I'm sending the Gayify signal soon

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.
Ew gross, don't hack up things onto my phone, OP.

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug
While you're there OP can you swipe right on all of my tinder and grinder matches? my fingers hurt.

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
5G ZOMBIES!!!!

Henry Lee Mucus
Dec 11, 2003

Nelson Mandingo posted:

I'm loving ANgRY

You're done. You're out. Get out of this loving thread. Your phone is zotted tomorrow you just had to open your loving mouth

Yeah I'll be doing that too :mmmhmm:

flubber nuts
Oct 5, 2005


ill send over my social security, home address, and card numbers if it makes it easier. ive also got some stuff going on at https://www.fidelity.com idk if you can use that but i have it.

GetDunked
Dec 16, 2011

respectfully
Hack my phone if you must but can pry my ADGtH2 VHS tape from my cold dead gay hands!! :bahgawd:

MiracleFlare
Mar 27, 2012
Joke's on you, I'm gonna fill my phone with crypto viruses and counter-infect you!

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Can you at least stop sending me these phishing text messages on signal where you pretend to be an asian girl

Fine but I will not stop pretending to be an asian girl :colbert:

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
My Nokia is unhackable, unbreakable, unmistakable

dervival
Apr 23, 2014

mister president once again it a system test not hacking, please calm down and stop harassing the goons

and please stop trying to sic Commander on that pink haired one when you think no one is looking, that's not very nice and he doesn't need a further taste for blood, troll or no

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Joke’s on you pal, having my phone hacked is my fetish

bossy lady
Jul 9, 1983

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Please don't hack me, I'll cum :(

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Alright I've had enough. You're laughing now but you'll see. 2:20 EST tomorrow. YOU WILL REGRET THIS!!

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




Still not seeing a huge amount of cash in my patreon this is your last chance you -WILL- REGRET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OB-GYN Kenobi
Dec 4, 2017

Nelson Mandingo posted:

ITS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So am I
:gizz:

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Cmon bro, I asked you nicely to stop

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003


I can't wait to finally have something to do

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

If you were a real hacker you would be able to tell me my IP, OP

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Leaving my phone’s hackhole wide open for you op

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

Anyone die yet

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




I decided to go a couple minutes early.

I loving warned you. But you just had to laugh. Now I have all your data. If you want it back then send me the entire Land Before Time series on VHS or $90 to my Paypal account.

Konar
Dec 14, 2006

by Fluffdaddy
loving loud gently caress you OP what do you think you're doing exactly

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

the_end_of_the_world.mov


"bout that time, eh lads?"

redshirt
Aug 11, 2007

Reporting for shovel mission Sir.
I've been hacked!!!!!

Verisimilidude
Dec 20, 2006

Strike quick and hurry at him,
not caring to hit or miss.
So that you dishonor him before the judges



Not sure why but my phone exploded and now I love Joe Biden, homosexuality, and vaccines. Hail Hunter, Hail Bud Light, Hail Taylor Swift

MiracleFlare
Mar 27, 2012
Hey what the gently caress man, you gave me one message but the person next to me got like three of them in different languages, give me the Spanish phone virus too

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

redshirt posted:

I've been hacked!!!!!

you too? at 11:20 am on the dot I received a Presidential Alert. it made the emergency alert noises and everything. From these facts I can only conclude that:

-the President of the United States has hacked everyone's phone itt, and
-the OP either is, or knows, President Joe Biden

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Nice job op

*smokes cigarette*

Metaline
Aug 20, 2003


Are you Americans zombie drag queens now or what

Gaylor Moon
Apr 6, 2005

Gender? I hardly know'er
*shrieeeeeeeeeeeeeek*

Nelson Mandingo
Mar 27, 2005




SatansOnion posted:

you too? at 11:20 am on the dot I received a Presidential Alert. it made the emergency alert noises and everything. From these facts I can only conclude that:

-the President of the United States has hacked everyone's phone itt, and
-the OP either is, or knows, President Joe Biden

:bignews:
I'm Hunter Biden.

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maybeadracula
Sep 9, 2022

by sebmojo

Metaline posted:

Are you Americans zombie drag queens now or what

Always were

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