Junk in the trunk

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Junk in the trunk

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Eclipse12 posted:

Also, lol that people are okay with car losing even 20-30% of its travel distance in less than ten years. If an ICE gas tank just randomly shrank each year, people would be rightfully pissed. Imagine paying even modest money for an electric car that's past its battery warranty. You'd have to be batshit to even consider it.

Cars are headed down the same path as cell phones, appliances, and basically every other consumer electronic - the expectation that they won't last long and "upgrading" is just part of life. But hey,

Yup. And it�s a really dumb idea considering the raw materials for batteries and microchips are already a limited commodity, but sure let�s keep putting microchips in mattresses and toasters.

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:32

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# ? May 4, 2024 04:35

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

fuel economy dropped 30% so what (most people actually do treat their ICE cars like this but it's not supposed to happen)

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:32

feelix: Nov 27, 2016; THE ONLY EXERCISE I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH IS EXERCISING MY ABILITY TO MAKE A POST PEOPLE WANT TO READ

Triikan posted:

Can we get back to dunking on the OP?

Also, because I can�t let it go, can you imagine people accepting that an ICE car loses horsepower over time? Can you imagine somebody paying even a modest amount of money for a car whose engine only produces 70% of the power it did when new?

You're an idiot

1) an ice car that has lost 30% of it's horsepower is exactly as functional as it was when it was brand new. If its gas tank shrank that would not be the case
2) I think you are severely overestimating the rate at which engines lose power. Unless a car was neglected, this is only an issue with vintage cars. Vintage EVs will have 0 of the functionality they had when they were brand new because they will literally not exist in working order

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:35

feelix: Nov 27, 2016; THE ONLY EXERCISE I AM UNFAMILIAR WITH IS EXERCISING MY ABILITY TO MAKE A POST PEOPLE WANT TO READ

MrQwerty posted:

fuel economy dropped 30% so what (most people actually do treat their ICE cars like this but it's not supposed to happen)

Oh also reason 3 why Triikan is an idiot, this much more plausible and applicable analogy was right there but they chose "engine loses power" instead

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:36

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005

Eclipse12 posted:

Also, lol that people are okay with car losing even 20-30% of its travel distance in less than ten years. If an ICE gas tank just randomly shrank each year, people would be rightfully pissed. Imagine paying even modest money for an electric car that's past its battery warranty. You'd have to be batshit to even consider it.

Over the life of my BMW I spent zero dollars on anything but tires, not a penny on gas and sold it for almost what I paid for it 4 years earlier.

The packs are all replaceable, older EVs have an entire ecosystem refurbished packs that will continue to grow as newer EVs get older. And most people don't drive very far, an 8 year old battery considering average size of about 250 miles will still have 175 miles of range, covering basically everyone's daily commute and driving. My car is 11 months old and I don't even have 5k miles on it.

At a minimum they will be fabulous second cars.

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:39

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

FULLY AUTOMATED Living in a car based luxury communism

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:43

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Three Olives posted:

You've ordered a Cybertruck, haven't you.

Don't answer, I don't care.

OP, love your new av and custom text!

# ? Oct 11, 2023 21:56

ChairmanMauzer: Dec 30, 2004; It wears a human face.

Uhg, car chat derails are as insufferable as sports chat derails.

Where's the lols, thread?

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:02

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Times are tough. Money can still be saved. Vim Fuego may have to sublet the passenger seat.

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:04

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

ChairmanMauzer posted:

Where's the lols, thread?

OP banned potty humor. We must grow up and mind our etiquette.

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:05

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

OP have you considered an addition to your domicile?

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:22

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Brb, gonna take out a home equity loan on my Mazda.

19% interest. Nice!!

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:40

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

"Hey boss. I was wondering if we could make a smaller model of our new smartbed. I dunno, like... sleeping bag size? Small enough to fit in... hmm... off the top of my head, like a Subaru or something. I feel like there's a market for beds exactly that size.

Oh, and it would be great for consumers if you could power it with a 12v auxiliary outlet."

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:46

MrQwerty: Apr 15, 2003

Eclipse12 posted:

"Hey boss. I was wondering if we could make a smaller model of our new smartbed. I dunno, like... sleeping bag size? Small enough to fit in... hmm... off the top of my head, like a Subaru or something. I feel like there's a market for beds exactly that size.

Oh, and it would be great for consumers if you could power it with a 12v auxiliary outlet."

"Not an Outback or Forester, though, I'm thinking more WRX-size. It's a very large market."

# ? Oct 11, 2023 22:47

Samuel L. Hacksaw: Mar 26, 2007; Never Stop Posting

Eclipse12 posted:

"Hey boss. I was wondering if we could make a smaller model of our new smartbed. I dunno, like... sleeping bag size? Small enough to fit in... hmm... off the top of my head, like a Subaru or something. I feel like there's a market for beds exactly that size.

Oh, and it would be great for consumers if you could power it with a 12v auxiliary outlet."

Cot sized, for glamping, like at burning man or fyre festival.

# ? Oct 11, 2023 23:00

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

My start-up is building IoT mattress to car shark fin roof top antenna hack couplings to get great reception for those nights you wanna save bucks while believing in a product.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 00:45

Bad Purchase: Jun 17, 2019

honestly having a smart boxspring is way more important than a smart mattress, it's what provides the real support

# ? Oct 12, 2023 00:47

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Entering my Posturpedic Adjustable Mattress into the Baja 1000.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 00:55

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

My start-up is building IoT mattress to car shark fin roof top antenna hack couplings to get great reception for those nights you wanna save bucks while believing in a product.

That antenna can only play the hit ll cool j single "Deepest Coolest (Sharks Fin)"

# ? Oct 12, 2023 00:56

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Bip Roberts posted:

That antenna can only play the hit ll cool j single "Deepest Coolest (Sharks Fin)"

If my IoT mattress is rockin' da LLCJ's, don't be coming knockin' on my WRX's.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 01:03

syntaxfunction: Oct 27, 2010

If OP lives in their car where do they go to hotbox???

Also I actually thought Three "Trickle Down Economics" Olives and Vin "Cathouse Bootlicker" Fuego would have the same ideologies but turns out no!

I guess sometimes a man selling a spying mattress that is only sometimes a mattress has gorram standards.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 01:19

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005

syntaxfunction posted:

If OP lives in their car where do they go to hotbox???

Also I actually thought Three "Trickle Down Economics" Olives and Vin "Cathouse Bootlicker" Fuego would have the same ideologies but turns out no!

I guess sometimes a man selling a spying mattress that is only sometimes a mattress has gorram standards.

LOL me living in my car.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 01:26

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

Bip Roberts posted:

"Deepest Coolest (Sharks Fin)"

Deepest Bluest damnit, did you even listen to Samuel L Jackson's rousing speech?

# ? Oct 12, 2023 01:28

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

RichPencilFinger is working his rear end off this week lol

# ? Oct 12, 2023 01:44

Eclipse12: Feb 20, 2008

Gonna Dutch oven myself with Hot Pockets farts in the trunk.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 02:05

Wendigee: Jul 19, 2004

Honestly you should have gotten the hatchback you'd have extra interior space with the same brrrrrrrr. I wish this was real but op is obviously a parody lol

# ? Oct 12, 2023 02:10

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

Three Olives posted:

LOL me living in my car.

Come on, buy the IoT mattress and have the boys install it in one of these:

Unless you're poor of course...

# ? Oct 12, 2023 02:36

cracker: May 12, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

As someone that managed a mattress store for about ten years I just want to say lol. Your mattress is not going to going to be near the improvement you think it is and your car sleeping will be for nothing.

# ? Oct 12, 2023 03:11

TheParadigm: Dec 10, 2009

Couple questions for the op..

Vim Fuego posted:

But I work in tech (on-site) and I�m certainly lucky to work at a place with 24 hour access to Food, Showers and a Gym. So mostly that's the answer

Believe me, we've had these conversations. If you want to call it a pejorative term like DRM, then fine. Maybe this product isn't for you. But it's a project requirement that the mattress is connected when in use because of the utility of the active monitoring. That means we don't need a lot of onboard computing power because it's all done in the cloud. It's really not more sinister than that.

Whats your actual schedule look like?
You've mentioned access to like, food, showers, gym etc. I want to better understand the lifestyle before I pass judgement! Is this like, pack a bag of clothes for the week away, do work, go car/postwork, sleep, and... what?
Get up early, hit the work gym, roll into work already ready to go?

null_pointer posted:

Someone shoot me because I agree 1,000% with the guy living in his trunk in order to support a malware air mattress that watches you gently caress.

Gives the topics you mentioned your bosses bringing up... Have your apathetic/startup bosses decided on an 'infidelity mode' to catch cheating spouses while you're away?
This seems exactly the kind of thing they'd market as a feature.
AKA Oh no! bed says there's fuckin, but i'm not there!
DUN DUN
DUNNNN

# ? Oct 12, 2023 03:12

WAR CRIME GIGOLO: Oct 3, 2012; The Hague
tryna get me
for these glutes

My commute is only 15 minutes but I think I'm going to live in my car to get away from my drat wife

You'll be able to spot ops car from the license plate DEDBEAT

# ? Oct 12, 2023 03:27

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005

I really want to believe this is real because a company getting VC funding to invent a product just like X old product that you may have heard of except with functions that product already has is just so current VC tech.

It's X but with Blockchain! It's X but with AI! It's X but with an app!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 04:19

Haptical Sales Slut: Mar 15, 2010; Age 18 to 49

Aishlinn posted:

# ? Oct 12, 2023 04:49

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Zero VGS posted:

Deepest Bluest damnit, did you even listen to Samuel L Jackson's rousing speech?

I think that was a weird assed autocorrect

# ? Oct 12, 2023 05:01

Junk: Dec 20, 2003; Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?

boy thats a wacky thing to do, op!

# ? Oct 12, 2023 05:42

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Wilkins Micawber posted:

gently caress a sea monkey.

Sea monkeys are not capable of consent

# ? Oct 12, 2023 05:50

i am harry: Oct 14, 2003

Three Olives posted:

Wow, here really late...

I'm not sorry to be the one that tells you this but I own a Sleep Number bed and...

They already do this and have for half a decade.

Literarily, exactly this, with an app. They call it SleepIQ.

It measures your heart rate, HRV, breath, sleeping patterns, circadian rhythm and it adjusts throughout the night, they call it Responsive Air�. Also they have a privacy mode and they don't charge a monthly fee.

https://www.sleepnumber.com/pages/sleepiq-sleep-tracker

So, yeah...

I sleep sleep with my husband , in a house, that is 15 minutes away from my job. On a $4,000 king size mattress that already had the technology you are "inventing" that I bought over 4 and half years ago. Also I have a nicer and larger car,

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Can this all fit in a red text?

# ? Oct 12, 2023 06:01

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Op, when you say you like to explore the neighborhood rather than return home on the weekends, do you mean you like to stalk the streets at night in a drug induced haze, looking for murder victims to pull back into your creepy hobo hideout?

# ? Oct 12, 2023 07:29