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I think I just found mine. Corner Office After seeing the trailer a while back, I had put this one on my watchlist. From the trailer, it appeared to be weird, quirky, a comment on corporate culture, slightly "Brazil"-esque, even. It's not. It's boring. Mind-numbingly so. 1999's "Office Space" did a better and way more entertaining job at taking a shot at corporatism. If you ever have trouble falling asleep, put this on. The constant drone of Jon Hamm's emotionless narration, the lack of interesting plot or, god forbid, turns that may pique your interest further beyond the pointless premise will put you under. I merely held on in hopes that there would be something interesting happening aaaany second now. Spoiler: It doesn't. I felt like it could, no, had to become interesting, like the TV series "Severance", which had added a whole other premise unto a similar office setting, but the twist or satisfying resolution never comes. I'm astonished Jon Hamm signed up for this. I thought, "Hey, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm not getting it". Doing a cursory search, most articles teasing with a headline like "Corner office - Explained" are merely retellings of the plot with no further insight or meaningful speculation. No, I haven't read the book "The Room" this is based on. Maybe that one is better. If so, shame on the screenplay writer. The short, interspersed absurd moments barely elicit a chuckle. There is this brief outburst of Hamm's character Orson that sparks some passion and tries to hammer the anti-corporate sentiment home, but it's entirely too little, too late. Ugh. What a waste of time. And then I went and added insult to injury by posting about it, spending even more time on it than the 104 minutes of runtime I will never get back. mcbexx fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Oct 20, 2023 |
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Oct 6, 2023 22:59
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I just watched Asteroid City a few days ago and I kind of want to sue Wes Anderson for wasting my time.
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Oct 15, 2023 21:08
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I hated every minute of Daliland. Every single character is just absolutely tedious and exhausting and I wanted all of them to just go away forever. Apparently that's pretty much how those people were in real life, so I guess it was intentional, but by the end of the movie I felt just completely drained. Honestly, this movie made me dislike the artist, everyone in his circle and the concept of art in general. The only reason I stuck with that till the end was that I was there with friends and we had plans afterwards. But by the end of that movie I was so catatonic that I just silently went home anyway. cant cook creole bream fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Oct 18, 2023 |
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Oct 18, 2023 18:45
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Asteroid City, and anything by Wes Anderson tbqh. Absolute loving waste of time.
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Oct 19, 2023 09:30
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I almost got into a car accident after seeing Asteroid City and if it was the last movie I ever saw I'd be a touch annoyed. How to Marry A Millionaire (1953) was unfunny and a waste of three great leads. I think the first Friday the 13th (1980) is dull, but that's probably sacrilige to say.
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Oct 19, 2023 16:27
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Are we talking bout functionally pointless movies or movies that actually raise the question "why was this made?" Something like Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Prince of Persia: The Sands of time is a giant waste of time for anyone who watched or made the movie, but I at least understand that there were contractual obligations and sunk licensing fees that necessitated them being made. On the other hand is something like Pottersville where you can't imagine why anyone ever took the time and effort to make it.
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Oct 19, 2023 17:42
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Mars needs moms. I felt like Hans Moleman after that movie ended. I wanted my minutes back.
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Oct 19, 2023 18:08
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The Sherlock Holmes movie with Will Ferrell might just be it. For you Asteroid City haters: Where is your Funny Bone.
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Oct 19, 2023 20:55
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Thor Ragnarok
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Oct 19, 2023 22:44
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Monsters-(2010) Why you would take an actually interesting premise and bury it under 94minutes of the most tedious mumblecore bullshit ever put to screen is beyond me. It's like Gareth Edwards watched Cloverfield and said "hmm, what if even worse actors had some of the worst dialog ever written....and we can save money on CG by just never showing anything people care about."
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Oct 19, 2023 23:30
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Watching Air with Damon and Affleck felt like skimming a Wikipedia article
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Oct 20, 2023 00:04
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Blood Boils posted:Thor Ragnarok
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Oct 20, 2023 01:40
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Battlefield Earth. It’s self-explanatory if you’ve seen it. Terminator: Genisys. There is not a single artistic reason for this film to exist in the script, and the tone and direction somehow demonstrated more incoherence than the screenwriting.
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Oct 20, 2023 03:54
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Rise of Skywalker is up there. Just the most pointless lazy drivel ever conceived at that kind of scale.
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Oct 20, 2023 09:08
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The Lucifer Complex. It made people being lit on fire uninteresting.
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Oct 20, 2023 19:52
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Lamb. A slow-burner shouldn't make you laugh at the sheer stupidity of the ending/reveal. Really made me worry for A24 and if they were just going to start greenlighting any obscure slightly horror movie.
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Oct 20, 2023 22:09
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Hakkesshu posted:Rise of Skywalker is up there. Just the most pointless lazy drivel ever conceived at that kind of scale. It was on TNT the other night and I caught the last hour or so of it for the first time in, like, two years. All I could think was this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_nPp64OrBc
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Oct 20, 2023 22:29
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Only God Forgives.
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Oct 20, 2023 23:04
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I saw asteroid city recently and it’s the worst thing wes Anderson has done by a lot. Even his Amex commercials were better IMO Most boring movie I’ve seen in theaters is probably Superman Returns
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Oct 21, 2023 00:50
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Last year's Halloween Challenge thread drove me to watch Alien Psychosis, a movie I will curse on my deathbed for taking away it's running time from my ability to have done literally anything else with that time.
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Oct 21, 2023 01:14
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banned from Starbucks posted:Monsters-(2010) Why you would take an actually interesting premise and bury it under 94minutes of the most tedious mumblecore bullshit ever put to screen is beyond me. It's like Gareth Edwards watched Cloverfield and said "hmm, what if even worse actors had some of the worst dialog ever written....and we can save money on CG by just never showing anything people care about." I don't think they wrote dialogue. IIRC, they improvised almost everything. And I was wondering why the tension between the leads was so strong so I looked it up, they were a married couple. Movie was a bit boring, though.
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Oct 21, 2023 02:07
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Citizen Kane. Goddamn it why am I watching this.
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Oct 21, 2023 02:28
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The Lion King 2019. There is absolutely nothing good to say about it. A terrible shot-for-shot remake with hyper-realistic animals that can’t and don’t emote. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” taking place during the daytime lmao. Bored voice acting from everyone, who just seemed to be doing the bare minimum for a fat Disney paycheck. “Be Prepared” erased sans a few of the final lines half-sung. I saw this for free in theaters during my company’s family fun night and I still felt swindled and pissed that I got my dumb rear end out of the house to watch it. There was no rhyme or reason to this existing since it’s almost an exact copy of the original much like the 1998 Psycho remake is to the 1960 film right down to camera shots, dialog, and score. There was nothing fresh or original about it. Disney could have tried something a little different so that it could have followed the original while introducing new ideas to keep it fresh, but they decided to keep it safe and familiar, instead. Those inexpressive animals, tho. Good lord, at least give them expressive eyes because the eyes can do a lot of the work. Instead, we got “  Long live the king. ”
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Oct 21, 2023 05:19
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Blockbuster Video-rear end thread
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Oct 21, 2023 05:34
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The Resort (2021)
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Oct 21, 2023 06:09
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Pirate Jet posted:Blockbuster Video-rear end thread Quiet, it’s a great honeypot
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Oct 21, 2023 07:21
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Just a few off the top of my head: Jeanne Dielman, 23, quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles Vertigo Citizen Kane Tokyo Story In the Mood for Love 2001: A Space Odyssey Beau travail Mulholland Dr. Man with a Movie Camera Singin’ in the Rain Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans The Godfather La Règle du jeu Cléo from 5 to 7 The Searchers Meshes of the Afternoon Close-Up Persona Apocalypse Now Seven Samurai
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Oct 21, 2023 09:16
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There aren’t any pointless movies.
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Oct 21, 2023 14:37
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I don't know SMG, I watched Paranormal Activity
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Oct 21, 2023 14:54
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Suspiria remake
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Oct 21, 2023 15:13
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Free and Easy, Buster Keaton's first sound film. Even if I wasn't a fan of his silent work, it's awful to see a talented performer stuck in something so slow and pointless. I can't even remember anything from it despite seeing it twice.
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Oct 21, 2023 15:14
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DangerDongs posted:Lamb. this one was so stupid i kind of loved it, 3.5/5 stars. def far from the worst A24 horror i've seen (lookin at you Saint Maud, Talk to Me you're on notice too) Uncle Boogeyman fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Oct 21, 2023 |
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Oct 21, 2023 15:21
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Uncle Boogeyman posted:this one was so stupid i kind of loved it, 3.5/5 stars. def far from the worst A24 horror i've seen (lookin at you Saint Maud, Talk to Me you're on notice too) Looked all these up and lmao
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Oct 21, 2023 15:35
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At some point during Rogue One I started trying to identify all the different instruments in the score because the movie sure wasn't holding my attention.
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Oct 21, 2023 19:19
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There was a bunch of post-9/11 movies that were a liberal reaction to the Bush years. They had the vague message of "we support the troops, but not the war". Lions for Lambs was by far the worst. What a stupid, pointless piece of poo poo.
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Oct 22, 2023 12:17
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I thought Knight of Cups wasn't very interesting, even taking into account the director's intent.
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Oct 22, 2023 13:18
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DangerDongs posted:Lamb. Lamb kicked rear end.
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Oct 23, 2023 00:54
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Swordfish. Rad opening tho.
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Oct 23, 2023 01:05
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The Pale Blue Eye on Netflix felt like someone describing a good movie secondhand. I’d say it was pointless except Gillian Anderson decided to be weird as hell in it.
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Oct 23, 2023 01:54
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Rubber is 85 minutes long and is runs out of steam about 3 minutes into its runtime. It's a movie that feels like a parody of arthouse movies, but they forgot to actually do anything funny or interesting with that idea.
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Oct 23, 2023 13:57
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