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A coworker had to watch his kid for the last 20 minutes of his shift and the kid awkwardly was wondering around the office so I told him my clean joke. Why do cows have bells around their necks? BECAUSE THEIR HORNS DONT WORK!!!! hahahahahaha Lets share clean jokes.
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Oct 7, 2023 04:45
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Are we doin this? Are we really doing this? Ok then. A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.... The bartender asks, What is this? A joke?
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Oct 7, 2023 07:50
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What do you get when you replace all the Carbon atoms in a benzene ring with iron ones? a ferrous wheel Where does the general keep his armies? in his sleavies! How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? [Spoiler]ten[/i]
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Oct 7, 2023 08:25
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i tried googling dirty jokes about cleaning but google fuckin sucks nowadays. welp, thanks for reading
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Oct 7, 2023 17:11
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Where do rainbows go when they're bad? Prism. It's a light sentence.
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Oct 7, 2023 17:27
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Why did Luke Skywalker not like his steak dinner? It was Chewie
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Oct 7, 2023 23:28
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What’s the best part about loving homeless chicks? You can drop ‘em off anywhere. Am I doing this right?
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Oct 7, 2023 23:47
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Why was Heisenberg's wife never satisfied? Whenever he found the energy, he couldn't find the time.
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Oct 8, 2023 01:16
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Whaddaya call a fish with no eyes? *fsssshhh* Gotta say it out loud I guess
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Oct 8, 2023 17:18
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You could clean up this oneAl Cu Ad Solte posted:Three guys are walking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie. if ya really wanna sell it do the actions
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Oct 8, 2023 22:59
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Knock, knock Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh- Moooo!
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Oct 9, 2023 00:12
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My favorite dad joke ever: Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!
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Oct 9, 2023 00:31
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Whaddaya call a cow with three legs? Tri-tip beef How bout a cow with one leg? Lean beef And how bout a cow with no legs? Ground beef But what do we call a cow with two legs? Yer mother
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Oct 9, 2023 00:31
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There were two chemist just talking about the cosmos and fate. The one chemist just deciced to sublimate
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Oct 10, 2023 06:35
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Why can you not phone a Pirate? His phone is off the Hook!!!!! har har har
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Oct 12, 2023 03:37
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A guy wakes up in the hospital after a car accident and yells "Doctor! DOCTOR! I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!" The doctor replies, "That's because you lost your hands in the accident."
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Oct 12, 2023 06:56
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What do junior geologist always say? It's Gniess or Gold let the Lab sort it out. What do fiber crews say? Probably a backhoe. What do copper crews say? Still a backhoe. What do I want to operate? A Backhoe
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Oct 13, 2023 03:36
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I had a friend who got a new job as a flight instructor. He told me his career was finally taking off.
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Oct 14, 2023 08:42
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You hear the one about the motorcycle that fell asleep? It was two tired...
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Oct 14, 2023 13:54
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Three men walk into a bar. The fourth ducks.
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Oct 14, 2023 16:35
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A mechanic is working in his shop when he hears a car pull into his service bay. It's a small convertible, and the mechanic is surprised to see two penguins sitting in the car with the driver. The driver says, "Hey buddy, I just found these two penguins! What do you think I should do with them?" The mechanic thinks for a second and says "Take them to the zoo?" The driver responds , "Of course! What a great idea!" and drives off. The next day, the mechanic is at work again and is surprised to see the same convertible pull up with the penguins still sitting next to the driver. The mechanic says, "Hey, didn't I tell you to take those penguins to the zoo?" The driver replies, "Yes! And we had an excellent time. Today, we're on our way to the beach!"
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Oct 14, 2023 21:46
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A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he'll have to drink. The bear says, "I'll have a beer and... ...a shot of bourbon, please." The bartender says, "OK, but why the big pause?" The bear says, "I dunno, I've always had them."
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Oct 14, 2023 21:49
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What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k? HDMI
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Oct 14, 2023 22:06
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I was walking through the desert and ran into a Marine, a Navy, and an Army and something other, The air force started to request that we make the living quarters to standard. Space force had higher standards.
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Oct 16, 2023 05:26
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A man is sitting by a lake with his dog, fishing. A cow's head pops out of the water and makes a request, "Got a smoke?" The man answers, "Sure thing.", puts a cigarette in the cow's mouth, and watches it sink back under the surface. He turns to his dog and wonders, "What was that about?!" "What are you asking me for? I'm just the dog!"
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Oct 16, 2023 07:26
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A girl is walking home from school one day. As she walks by the school's flagpole, a group of boys calls out to her, one says "hey, I'll give you a stick of gum if you climb this flagpole!" So the girl climbs the flagpole, gets her gum, and is so excited about winning a bet with those boys she runs home to her mom and tells her all about it. Her mom sighs and says, "Don't climb the flagpole just because the boys want to see your underwear!" Next day, the boys offer the girl the same thing, and she says "my mom told me not to climb the flagpole just because you want to see my underwear" the boys counter with "how about for two sticks of gum then?" She goes up the flagpole, down, collects her reward, runs home to her mom full of pride, tells her all about it. Mom says, "Look, honey, I already told you once, don't climb that flagpole just because the boys want to see your underwear! Don't do it again!" Next day, same thing, but they offer her a whole pack of gum. She climbs up and down and runs home to mom. Mom says, "Honey, why on earth would you climb that flagpole after I've told you not to climb the flagpole just because the boys want to see your underwear twice, in no uncertain terms?" Girl looks at her mom, gets a big smirk on her face and replies "don't worry mom, I tricked those boys today, I didn't wear any underwear."
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Oct 16, 2023 08:30
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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. Left ear, right ear and final front ear.
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Oct 17, 2023 21:13
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A bunch of kids where hanging out in the back yard just doing silly kid stuff. One kid asked the other what time it was. Kid number 4 stands up and makes the most god awful sound. A parent screams out the window "Dont you know it is 3 in the morning" The 90"s kid way of seeing what time it was.
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Oct 19, 2023 05:11
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I was plane spotting at the end of the Air-force base and the Stealth must be good. I never saw a thing. The Army was having war games near my town. The camouflage was excellent. The Navy was just SubMarine! The Marines in Berthing pulled a bunch of books apart with their asses. DICK BOOK
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Oct 21, 2023 03:33
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What detergents do Mermaids use? Tide!!!
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Oct 21, 2023 06:56
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If Something is Gneiss, Don’t take it for Granite Har har har I did find some neato burrito rocks. Keep up the good news
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Oct 24, 2023 03:30
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stinkypete posted:If Something is Gneiss, Don’t take it for Granite That reminds me, what did the geologists say when they dug down 69 meters and found metamorphic rock? Gneiss...
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Oct 24, 2023 06:05
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Justice is best served cold. Otherwise it's justwater.
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Oct 24, 2023 15:32
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What room will a Zombie dislike? A Living room!
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Oct 25, 2023 02:51
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Why is Voyager 1 and 2 the best space craft we sent into space? They are Far out there! har har har hah hah https://voyager.jpl.nasa.gov/ Pretty neat reads if you look into the power source of both probes.
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Oct 25, 2023 03:01
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stinkypete posted:What room will a Zombie dislike? I hate this. Also, going to get a groan out of the kids with it.
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Oct 25, 2023 05:32
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Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers? AKA the lead pig. To stop it from falling out. 1986 was a weird time. I was only a kid then.
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Oct 26, 2023 03:23
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I heard how you can unlock your power Animal. You just have to say these three phrases faster and faster. These Ancient texts from long ago are I Yahhm Sugg osee I think this is from the book of F14 stinkypete fucked around with this message at 05:35 on Oct 31, 2023 |
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Oct 31, 2023 05:30
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I was walking down the road the other day, and saw a dude welding some large metal plates into a big tank. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was busy and refused to say! It was the most baffling interaction I've ever had.
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Nov 1, 2023 11:30
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| # ? May 2, 2024 20:09 |
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Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their butt quacks!
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Nov 2, 2023 19:58
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