Henchman of Santa posted:

Entering year 16 or so of sadness and year four of a full-scale rebuild, it's your Detroit Pistons!

Detroit had the second worst record in franchise history and the worst record in the NBA last season. Their reward? The number 5 pick in what was widely considered a two-prospect draft (with a wide gulf between 1 and 2 at that). The lottery gods did not smile upon them twice in three years. The vibes are still better than the end of the Van Gundy/8 seed or bust era, but how much more patience will fans have without significant improvement? This season will tell us a lot about that.

HEAD COACH
Monty Williams: The biggest move of the offseason did not involve players. After putting in the work to develop a rotating group of youngsters for several years, Dwane Casey got kicked upstairs to the front office and Tom Gores threw a shitload of money at Monty after his departure from Phoenix. He did a pretty incredible job turning the Sun around and getting them two games away from their first championship. This roster is far from that, but both his cultural and on-court changes should hopefully kick it up a notch.

GUARDS
PG Cade Cunningham: I'll repeat myself from last year--the hopes of this franchise rest on the shoulders of 2021's first overall pick. Cade got off to a great start last season, putting up basically a 20-6-6 line in 12 games. Unfortunately, chronic shin troubles nagged him and both he and the team decided it was in the best interests of all parties that he get surgery and miss the rest of the season. That's a pretty critical year of development for the franchise player to miss, but the restored Cade impressed with the Team USA select squad and pundits are expecting a leap from the giant point guard. If all goes right, he could be practically Doncician.

SG/PG Jaden Ivey: Last year's exciting high lottery pick. Detroit brass hopes that the Purdue product can form the franchise's next star backcourt tandem with Cunningham. As a rookie, Jaden was almost too explosive for his own good. He could get to the rack in a flash but would often end up under the rim. His jumper also needs work and his defense was bad of course. But Ivey has all-star talent and got 3/4 of a season running the show, to the tune of 16 points, five assists and four boards a game. He is almost as tantalizing in his potential as Cade.

PG Killian Hayes: For the fourth year in a row, we will try to determine if the Kevin O'Connor's favorite Frenchman belongs in the NBA. Most of the time, he's the epitome of "Get ready to learn Chinese, buddy." But he showed flashes of competence last season, particularly when he outdueled Luka Doncic in an overtime thriller. At best though he's just escargot Elfrid Payton. I am ready to move on from the Killian experiment.

PG Monte Morris: A native son comes home. Flint's own Monte Morris has been one of the best backup PGs in the league for some time. His veteran presence is very welcome while also being an upgrade over the likes of Cory Joseph.

SG Alec Burks: A calming veteran presence and bucket getter off the bench. Basically kept the second unit afloat last year.

PG Marcus Sasser: The second first round pick from this past draft. The rookie was the lead guard for a rugged Houston team and a dangerous three-point shooter. Not sure how much playing time he'll get. He had a 40-point game in Summer League.

WINGS
SF/PF Bojan Bogdanovic: By far the best player on the team last year. The Serbian sharpshooter was one of the only veterans and only players who could create their own shot. Many expected him to be traded to a contender, but he was actually signed to an extension and the FO seems to view him as a bridge to future success. I've really enjoyed having him around.

SF Ausar Thompson: Our top pick this year. The consensus second best twin from the weird basketball influencer academy Overtime Elite. Had a really nice Summer League and draws a lot of comparisons to Andre Iguodala. Looking forward to seeing how he looks.

SG/SF Joe Harris: The oft-injured Nets sharpshooter was I guess the highest profile acquisition of the offseason. For a team that desperately needs shooting he could be quite helpful. Or he might just be busted.

PF/SF Isaiah Livers: An inconsistent but sometime useful presence. The team has always seemed to like him but I don't think he has a place here for much longer if the team is taking the next step. Shoots 37% from three.

BIGS
Jalen Duren: The steal of the 2022 draft. Duren was the youngest player in the league last year but quickly established himself as a ferocious rim-runner and rebounder. Hard-nosed, high-energy and good for a couple of throwdowns a game. He was my favorite Piston last year and also got to play on USA Select with Cade Cunningham. Their two-man game could be something special.

Isaiah Stewart: Beef Stew is a classic type of Detroit fan favorite. An undersized center who plays like a junkyard dog and once tried to kill LeBron James. Opened last season with a game-sealing three against Orlando, but he has still yet to shoot better than 33% from outside. As beloved as he is, he's also extremely limited.

Marvin Bagley III: Failed #2 pick from a Northern California team that we're trying to reclaim. Played well enough at the end of 2022 to get a nice contract, but was hurt for much of last season and underwhelming when he did play. Contract is expiring I believe.

James Wiseman: Failed #2 pick from a Northern California team that we're trying to reclaim. Basically doubled his Golden State production with double the minutes--in other words, not particularly improved in the new location at first. Shot less than one three a game at a hideous 16.7%. Still unclear why we grabbed him.

TWO-WAYS AND FRINGE GUYS ON THE PRESEASON ROSTER
PG Zavier Simpson, SG Malcolm Cazalon, SG Jared Rhoden, SG Stanley Umude, SF Buddy Boeheim, PF Tosan Evbuomwan, PF Jontay Porter (Michael's brother). Rhoden and Cazalon are on two-ways. The former played 14 games last year; the latter is a French rookie from Serbian power Mega Basket.

OUTLOOK: Still bad, but better