lotr quotes but dirty

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Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

"Stick it in my bum, Frodo!" Gandalf ordered, hornily.

# ? Nov 14, 2023 00:28

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# ? May 7, 2024 10:19

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

I've found it is the small things, every act of normal folk that keeps the darkness at bay � simple acts of kindness and love: like plunging my fuckin wizard staff about a fuckin foot up Bilbo�s rear end and stirring that bilbussy until he�s cumming churned buttercum in solid rods from his hairy little hobbit cock

# ? Nov 14, 2023 00:43

Henry Lee Mucus: Dec 11, 2003

I will take the ring though I do not know the way! I do however know exactly how I want my cock and balls tortured, so if you can find a pair of toenail clippers and a ballpoint pen in the shire somewhere, bring em over and you can throatfuck me while you jam a pen up my urethra and snip away pieces of my swollen cock head until there�s just a weeping little sausage left and I�m squirting bloody cum in agony

# ? Nov 14, 2023 00:52

Konar: Dec 14, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Wet have been my dreams of late

# ? Nov 14, 2023 00:52

razamataza: Jan 2, 2006

Aragorn: If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword...

Gimli: And MY rear end!

razamataza fucked around with this message at 08:17 on Nov 15, 2023

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:13

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

But I poop from there, Mr. Bombadil

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:45

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Smugworth posted:

But I poop from there, Mr. Bombadil

Not right now you don�t dilliyon�t

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:47

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

Meat's back in the men, you boys

# ? Nov 15, 2023 00:48

TURTLE SLUT: Dec 12, 2005

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Gollum had noticed subtle changes in Frodo�s behaviours since the ring had come into his possession. These changes made Gollum extremely horny, especially the way he would always have his fingers wrapped around the ring. Gollum wondered what those soft hands would feel around his member. It kept him up all night, most nights, if he did fall asleep, he would dream of Frodo and his magic hands. But tonight was different, tonight he was going to feed his desire, the fire inside him.. He wanted to surprise Frodo tonight.
He crawled up to Frodo, making sure to be quiet. He tugged Frodo�s sleeping bag off him and unwrapped him from his cloak, making it easy to undress him, when the time came. Frodo woke up at the sudden sold his body was exposed to. He woke up to find Gollum straddling him, looking straight into his eyes. Frodo was confused at first, why was Gollum on top of him? Where had his sleeping bag gone? And he grew even more confused, as his soft dick started hardening. Gollum made slow rotating movements on top of him. Gollum felt Frodo�s dick start to harden underneath him and his erection grew so large, his loincloth couldn�t cover it.
Gollum started to unbutton his shirt. �Gollum��
�Shhhh, Daddy�s come to make it better� he croaked out
He continued to unbutton Frodo�s shirt, when finished Gollum threw the shirt to one side, and started trailing his knobbly fingers up and down Frodo�s chest, circling his rosy nipples with a dirt encrusted finger. Frodo let out a weak mewl at the teasing. Gollum bowed his head down and started licking and sucking on Frodo�s nipples, Frodo let out a weak moan of protest as Gollum started nibbling Frodo�s nipples with some of his remaining nine teeth. Frodo was now fully hard beneath Gollum, gridding his groin upwards desperate for contact with Gollum�s crotch.
Gollum undid Frodo�s trousers and pulled his pants down to expose Frodo�s throbbing cock. Gollum wrapped one of his hands around Frodo�s dick and started pumping his fist up and down, he brought Frodo to the edge, and then removed his hand from Frodo�s pre-come leaking dick. Frodo moaned at the sudden unexpected removal of Gollum�s hand.
Gollum was overcome by a tidal wave of lust, not being able to wait any longer. He torn off his loincloth exposing his throbbing dick. He flipped Frodo over, pulling his pants off, exposing his pink butthole. Gollum slid one of his fingers into Frodo, then a second, then a third, pumping them in and out slowly. His urge to be inside Frodo was now unbearable, he couldn�t control himself, pulling his fingers out and licking them clean. He positioned his dick just above Frodo�s widened hole, then in one deep movement he sunk himself fully into Frodo, getting a deep intake from Frodo at the sudden intrusion. He kept a pace up, in, out, in out gradually getting faster and faster, he felt Frodo cumming underneath him, spewing the salty substance onto the rocks below. Gollum cummed inside of Frodo, he came so much it started to leak out with his dick inside Frodo. He pulled his cock out of Frodo, bent over and began to suck all of Frodo�s juices off his own flaccid penis. He was able to do this because he had been doing it for years.
Gollum crawled off into the night, leaving Frodo red (rear end) cheeked and panting on the floor, lying in a puddle of his own cum and spit. Gollum�s lust was quenched for this night. And that was that. For now.

What have I done

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:08

The Wiggly Wizard: Aug 21, 2008

Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to sleep with him

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:11

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

Confound it all, Samwise Gamgee. Have you been busting nuts?

I ain't bustin' no nuts, sir. I was just cutting grass, under the window, there.

# ? Nov 15, 2023 01:13

bossy lady: Jul 9, 1983

Grey Cat posted:

What's "tatas", precious?

Turn off your palantir :biglips:

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:22

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

bossy lady posted:

Turn off your palantir

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:23

pop fly to McGillicutty: Feb 2, 2004; A peckish little mouse!

Soil it, mash it, stick in, my dude

# ? Nov 15, 2023 21:24

Smugworth: Apr 18, 2003

bossy lady posted:

Turn off your palantir

Nice

# ? Nov 16, 2023 03:21

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Gil-galad was an Elven twink.
To him the johns all gladly drink;
the last whose cock was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His "sword" was long, and also keen.
His shining pecks afar were seen;
the countless stars of heavens fair
were mirrored in his sparkling hair.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the doms all are.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 04:10

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Gil-galad was an Elven twink.
To him the johns all gladly drink;
the last whose cock was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His "sword" was long, and also keen.
His shining pecks afar were seen;
the countless stars of heavens fair
were mirrored in his sparkling hair.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the doms all are.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 04:13

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Gil-galad was an Elven twink.
To him the johns all gladly drink;
the last whose cock was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His "sword" was long, and also keen.
His shining pecks afar were seen;
the countless stars of heavens fair
were mirrored in his sparkling hair.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the doms all are.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 04:27

covidstomper58: Nov 8, 2020

Cocks go ever ever on,
Over tit and under cheek,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over chin by grimace shown,
And through the cherry flappers of poon,
Over rear end and over chrome,
And under mountains in the room.

Cocks go ever ever on
Under frown and under tar,
Yet veins that wandering have shrunk
Turn at last to a great fart.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And whores in the halls of bone
Look at last on cummy sheen
And feet and dilz they long have boned.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 04:53

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

covidstomper58 posted:

Cocks go ever ever on,
Over tit and under cheek,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over chin by grimace shown,
And through the cherry flappers of poon,
Over rear end and over chrome,
And under mountains in the room.

Cocks go ever ever on
Under frown and under tar,
Yet veins that wandering have shrunk
Turn at last to a great fart.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And whores in the halls of bone
Look at last on cummy sheen
And feet and dilz they long have boned.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 04:55

Grey Cat: Jun 3, 2023; Doing stuff and things

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your back-door.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 05:15

The Loin King: Feb 16, 2017; Check out this goddamned cat

Borome

# ? Nov 16, 2023 05:24

maybeadracula: Sep 9, 2022; by sebmojo

Holes in asses, cracks in rumps!

That's what Bilbo Baggins humps!

That's what Bilbo Baggins humps,

So merrily, merrily with the rumps.

Poke the heinies, gently caress the butts!

Smash the bottoms, bust a nut!

That's what Bilbo Baggins humps,

So merrily, merrily with the rumps!

# ? Nov 16, 2023 05:31

vaginite: Feb 8, 2006; I'm comin' for you, colonel.

Where�s there�s life there�s hope, and need of titties.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 06:12

Vampire Panties: Apr 18, 2001; nposter; Nap Ghost

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Gil-galad was an Elven twink.
To him the johns all gladly drink;
the last whose cock was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.

His "sword" was long, and also keen.
His shining pecks afar were seen;
the countless stars of heavens fair
were mirrored in his sparkling hair.

But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the doms all are.

'And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves? ' said Galadriel, turning to Gimli. 'None, Lady,' answered Gimli. 'It is enough for me to have seen the Lady of the Galadhrim bodacious titties, and to have heard her gentle words.'

# ? Nov 16, 2023 06:28

The Wiggly Wizard: Aug 21, 2008

Of course you are. And I�m cumming with you!

# ? Nov 16, 2023 08:08

No. 6: Jun 30, 2002

Share the load

# ? Nov 16, 2023 12:33

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

Grey Cat posted:

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going in your back-door.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 13:10

covidstomper58: Nov 8, 2020

Seek for the rear end that was broken:
In Imladris it smells;
There shall be poppers taken
Stronger than orgy-spells.
There shall be thrown a hadouken
That poo poo is near to found,
For Islidur's Ring shall widen,
And the Halfing forth shall pound.

# ? Nov 16, 2023 15:12

naem: May 29, 2011

�Farewell, Frito,� said Dildo, managing a very convincing epileptic fit. �It�s in your hands now, gasp, rattle, o lie me under the greenwood tree, ooooo. Ooog.�

�Farewell, Dildo,� said Frito, and with a last wave went out to join the company. As soon as he had disappeared, Dildo sprang lightly to his feet, and skipped into the hall humming a little song:

�I sit on the floor and pick my nose and think of dirty things

Of deviant dwarfs who suck their toes and elves who drub their dings.

I sit on the floor and pick my nose and dream exotic dreams

Of dragons who dress in rubber clothes and trolls who do it in teams.

I sit on the floor and pick my nose and wish for a thrill or two

For a goblin who goes in for a few no-nos
Or an orc with a thing about glue.

And all of the while I sit and pick I think of such jolly things

Of whips and screws and leather slacks
Of frottages and stings.�

# ? Nov 16, 2023 15:45

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# ? May 7, 2024 10:19

The Wiggly Wizard: Aug 21, 2008

<Welcome, Frodo of the Shire>

# ? Nov 16, 2023 21:25

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