The Center

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The Center

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

File this under "Esoteric meditation practices":

Find your center. It is your center of gravity, somewhere below your belly button, above your abdomen....

Running backs AND their tacklers depend on it.

Now, take that center you've found, and connect it to the center of the Earth, 5000 miles straight down.

Once you've done that, connect the center of the Earth to the center of The Sun, for fun.

What is at the very center of the Sun is at the center of the Earth is at the center of everything, of course including you.

Now, that center is connected to the center of the Black Hole which spins at the center of our galaxy. And we spin around it.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 06:24

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:54

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Toxic Mental posted:

I didn't read but I do enjoy how brits spell it "centre" despite hating the french so much

The Centre

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 06:27

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Grey Cat posted:

Centered my bhole, thanks, op.

I'm happy for you, truly.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 06:31

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Dick Fontaine posted:

found my center and it�s full of poo poo

That's probably spatially true in any human body.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 06:33

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Aishlinn posted:

Your mom is the center of the universe. my mom too. everyone's mom, ever. and you. and goatse man's butthole. everything is the center of the universe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0FZgCiJGrg

Yeah like technically the center is in everyone, even your's and mine's Moms.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 06:48

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Dead Sex-Parrot posted:

Can it be assured the Earth's centre of mass is excactly 5000 miles straight down?

Close enough for horseshoes and hand grenades.

# ¿ Nov 13, 2023 17:06

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

If you meditate, I ask you to try meditating on this:

Your center,
connected to the center of the Earth,
and that center connected to the center of the Sun,
and that center connected to the black hole in the center of the galaxy,
and that center between the Milky Way and Andromeda,
and that center of the Great Local Attractor,
and there I am there, still, looking into my center.

# ¿ Nov 14, 2023 04:39

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Center of that Pillsbury Doughboy

# ¿ Nov 14, 2023 05:32

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Wee posted:

i. Touching the forehead, say Ateh (Unto Thee),

ii. Touching the breast, say Malkuth (The Kingdom),

iii. Touching the right shoulder, say ve-Geburah (and the Power),

iv. Touching the left shoulder, say ve-Gedulah (and the Glory).

v. Clasping the hands upon the breast, say le-Olahm, Amen (To the Ages, Amen).

vi. Turning to the East, make a pentagram (that of Earth) with the proper weapon (usually the Wand). Say (i.e. vibrate) IHVH.

vii. Turning to the South, the same, but say ADNI.

viii. Turning to the West, the same, but say AHIH.

ix. Turning to the North, the same, but say AGLA

(Pronounce: Ye-ho-wau, Adonai, Eheieh, Agla).

x. Extending the arms in the form of a Cross say,

xi. Before me Raphael;

xii. Behind me Gabriel;

xiii. On my right hand Michael.

xiv. On my left hand Auriel;

xv. For about me flames the Pentagram,

xvi. And in the Column stands the six-rayed Star.

xvii-xxi. Repeat (i) to (v), the Qabalistic Cross

OK, Lucifer's here. What next?

# ¿ Nov 15, 2023 15:09

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 00:54

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007

Focus your breath

Slowly in and out

All the way from the bottom, to the top.

Breath deep from the center, and out.

Imagine a sphere, like a ball bearing,

or a marble

Imagine this marble spinning in space, hovering

Imagine you control this spin, this hovering, this marble

Enlarge it, make it bigger, make it smaller, make it dance around.

You are the marble

# ¿ Nov 19, 2023 03:01

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > The Center