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What was your favorite MMA story of 2023? This poll is closed. |
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|---|---|---|---|
| The fall of Valentina Shevchenko |
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3 | 7.14% |
| Tom Aspinall's comeback |
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1 | 2.38% |
| Francis Ngannou floors Tyson Fury |
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34 | 80.95% |
| actually boy that one was really great |
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1 | 2.38% |
| honestly you should probably vote for that one |
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1 | 2.38% |
| why are you still reading this |
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2 | 4.76% |
| Total: | 42 votes | ||
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If you miss Bellator, drop back to the last fleeting moments of their life in the November thread here. Congratulations, everyone, we made it to the end of another year. It's December, Bellator is gone, the sun itself has fallen into its torpid rest, and everyone's ready to go home. As is tradition, there are only a few fight cards here for us this month and then we take a nice, long break until mid-January, and, as is tradition, there's a big ol' New Year's special if you're into watching Japanese MMA until seven in the morning. If you celebrate holidays, may they be happy, and if you celebrate punchsports, may they be brutal and understanding. This month's thread title courtesy of STONE COLD 64. If this is your first time here you should stop and say hi so we know it's not just the same couple dozen of us cussing each other out all the time, but you may want to start with The General Q&A Thread for the basic gist of mixed martial arts. Yes, I'm still doing the new one. If you want to talk about MMA or combat sports events that aren't included in this breakdown: Please do. In a world of Road FC and Rizin events that don't actually air in America and the WBC threatening to rank Jake Paul, there's space for everything. And if there's an event you want to make a GDT for, go right ahead, just make sure to link it here so everyone sees it and basks in the joy of violence. THIS MONTH'S PUNCHSPORTS EVENTS 
IS THERE ANY NEWS  As had been rumored for months, the Professional Fighters League officially acquired Bellator on November 20, 2023. When Endeavor purchased the UFC in 2016, it was a massive, $4 billion deal. Nothing quite underlines the stark difference between the major leagues of mixed martial arts, and the ultimate tragedy of Bellator's existence, like the PFL acquiring them for an estimated $250 million--in PFL stock. The PFL, displaying its usual level of professionalism and long-term planning, made clear pretty quickly that it doesn't really know what to do with it just yet. There's going to be an annual PFL vs Bellator champions vs champions card! But we don't know when, or what the Bellator champions whose weight classes aren't promoted by the PFL will do. Also, the PFL isn't adopting Bellator's weight classes, so if you're a Middleweight, Bantamweight or Women's Flyweight, you're out of luck. But don't worry, because the PFL will be promoting Bellator events! Eight of them. As a global world tour. Each of which will also have a Bellator championship on it. But Bellator and its champions are also invited to compete in the PFL's 2024 season! Except, y'know, if you're defending your championship. Which may or may not exist anymore. There's no sugarcoating this one. This sucks. It's marginally better than the alternative of Bellator simply winking out of existence, obviously, but there's one less league out there for mixed martial artists and one less thing bulwark standing in the way of the UFC's control of the sport. The PFL has always struggled to establish itself as a serious player in the sport, and chairman Donn Davis has been out there boasting about how this acquisition puts them on par with the UFC, but the lack of a definitive plan for Bellator's future--and the various Bellator champions chiming in on social media noting that, despite the PFL talking about them and their future fights live on air, no one from the PFL had actually talked to them yet--doesn't give me a lot of hope. For now all we can do is wait and see, but boy, I'm not optimistic.  Fittingly, just before the month ended, the PFL announced a multi-year extension of its ESPN streaming deal. More years of fights! More years of tournaments! Bellator: Not included in that deal and still presently homeless. This does leave PFL broadcasting alongside the UFC for the foreseeable future, which, as they try to become stiffer competition, could get interesting. Also, it's very funny to me that 100% of their branding for this deal centers around two people who have never fought for the company and have no fights booked.  But don't worry, we're not done with doomsaying yet! ONE Championship, reportedly, is in pretty deep financial trouble. It's been an open secret that ONE's been playing shellgames with money for years--ever since their financials in 2020 reported a $341 million profit that was, in actuality, ONE selling its own intellectual property rights to itself for $400 million, which covered up ONE's actual financial performance, a $59 million loss. There are reasons ONE doesn't release ratings or gates or promote any sort of transparency whatsoever. Those reasons appear to be finally coming to haunt them. According to Deal Street Asia, ONE laid off 10% of its staff in 2023 to deal with raising only $5-8 million revenue for the fiscal year. To be clear, that is revenue, and not profit, which is, uh, bad. Like any good startup aiming to DISRUPT THEIR INDUSTRY, ONE has pulled in venture capital investment while promising profitability is just around the corner, but reportedly their main investors--Qatar, of course--have finally gotten tired of their performance and are beginning to cut the pursestrings. Which means it's within the realm of possibility that, by the end of 2024, two of the biggest MMA alternatives will have died in one calendar year. So, y'know. Everything's great.  Apropos of absolutely none of those stories or the health of the mixed martial arts industry, Bloody Elbow released some fantastic reporting showing exactly how underpaid UFC fighters are and just how badly even massive stars like Georges St-Pierre and Conor McGregor were getting paid fractions of the value they were bringing in, to say nothing of the fighters making $6,000 to fight. You should read it, because it's good poo poo and Bloody Elbow deserves your attention and clicks for their hard work. It couldn't have come in a better month, either. gently caress. MONTHLY RETIREMENT CORNER  The most common recurring theme in these retirement posts is the spectrum of success and failure in the sport. Olivier Aubin-Mercier, somehow, occupies both ends of that spectrum, and boy, that worked out gangbusters for him. The comparisons to Georges St-Pierre started almost immediately with Olivier, and that level of pressure and expectation sort of prognosticated his failure. He was in the UFC at just 4-0, and the first time the UFC's audience saw him it was as a contestant on The Ultimate Fighter's fifth international spinoff season (jesus christ), Canada vs Australia. On the plus side: Every finalist was a Canadian! On the minus: Olivier lost. He experienced the cruel fate of being crushed under a skill ceiling. He was by no means bad--he even stopped Drew Dober, and, boy, that aged well--but by 2019 he was 7-5 in the UFC and the sun had set on his once-lofty prospects. His contract ran out and he went back home. Until two years later, when he officially began participating in the then-shiny-and-new Professional Fighters League. In the UFC, he'd been stuck under the ceiling; in the PFL, he was the ceiling. Over two and a half years he went a perfect 10-0, including definitive victories over UFC runaway Shane Burgos, 2022 finalist Stevie Ray, and 2023 finalist and eternal boxing engine Clay Collard. And then, at the apex of his achievements as a two-time, $2 million champion, he retired. He said his heart and mind weren't in it to the point that he felt nothing about the championship fight save the desire to go be with his family. Which, honestly, is the proudest goddamn achievement I can imagine. Sure, he didn't win a UFC championship, but speaking as one of the foremost championship fetishists in mixed martial arts, let me say: Who the gently caress cares. He went to a competitor, he beat everyone they put in front of him, he almost certainly made more money from the PFL than all of his UFC opponents have earned combined, and he got the gently caress out not because he was getting horribly damaged, not because he was on a losing streak, but because he knew it was time and he wanted to go home. He's leaving the sport young, healthy and wealthy, and honestly, that's the absolute best you can goddamn do in this industry. Olivier Aubin-Mercier retires at 34 with an MMA record of 21-5, the 2022 and 2023 PFL Lightweight Championships, and two novelty-size million-dollar checks. WHERE ELSE CAN I TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE ABOUT VIOLENCE? Any of the following hangouts:
DO WE HAVE OTHER COMMUNAL THREADS? So many.
WHERE ELSE DOES FIGHT CHAT EXIST? Our community output has grown enough that we've got a few other places things get posted:
 Disclaimer: These are unofficial offsites, somethingawful's rules and liability do not extend to them, and complaining about discord stuff is still offsite drama posting
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WHAT HAPPENED IN NOVEMBER The month kicked off with ONE Fight Night 16: Haggerty vs Andrade on November 4th, which is one of those cards that had exactly four MMA matches on it and concluded with an MMA fighter in a non-MMA fight, giving me the increasing feeling that I do not know what I am doing here. The big upset of the night was Spanish kickboxing champion Cristina Morales giving ONE fits by knocking out its postergirl-in-training, Supergirl Jaroonsak, who never quite recovered from getting punched in the body, which makes sense, because it loving sucks. In the only divisionally relevant MMA bouts of the night, Ayaka Miura choked out Meng Bo with a scarf hold and Halil Amir punched out Ahmed Mujtaba. Up in your co-main, Tye Ruotolo won the inaugural ONE Welterweight Submission Grappling World Championship by defeating Magomed Abdulkadirov, whose biggest grappling accomplishment is a championship in ADCC Europe almost ten years ago, which is why so many grapplers are very, very tired of ONE's grappling titles. In your main event, ONE Bantamweight Muay Thai champion Jonathan Haggerty knocked out ONE Bantamweight MMA champion Fabricio Andrade to win the ONE Bantamweight Kickboxing World Championship, which is a ONE division neither has ever competed in. It is possible, perhaps, that ONE's championships have grown slightly out of control. Rizin Landmark 7 was up later that day, and despite a few cancellations, it was a hell of a show. As Rizin's first-ever show in Azerbaijan it was a big showcase for regional talent, which is, on one hand, really neat, and on the other hand means you will probably never see most of these names again, because Rizin will probably not be bringing Ferit Göktepe to Japan anytime soon. But heavyweight Shota Betlemidze made Quentin Domingos quit on his stool after a round, Anastasiya Svetkivska tapped out Farida Abdueva, Kim Kyung-pyo floored Tural Ragimov in twenty-one seconds and Tofiq Musayev knocked out Koji Takeda after three rounds. The main event was wild and over very quickly, as Vugar Karamov lost the Rizin Featherweight Championship to Chihiro Suzuki after getting knocked out from the bottom position, which is rare and wonderful. On one hand, Rizin's got a new Japanese champion, which is what they really want! On the other, boy, going to Azerbaijan and having your Azerbaijani star get instantaneously knocked out is probably bad for our international prospects. Finally, we had UFC Fight Night: Almeida vs Lewis, which was just a profoundly cursed card. It was already a little shaky on the merits after Curtis Blaydes dropped out of the main event, and then two fights got pulled the day before the card thanks to blown weight cuts, and then Armen Petrosyan fell ill and got pulled from his main card fight in mid-broadcast, and we were left with a terribly-paced, ten-fight card that wound up being real, real weird. Marc Diakiese outwrestled Kauę Fernandes to a split decision, Eduarda Moura missed weight by almost 5 pounds but still beat up a Montserrat Ruiz who was half a foot shorter than her, Angela Hill got a real close decision over Denise Gomes, Vitor Petrino knocked Modestas Bukauskas dead, and Rinat Fakhretdinov, despite dropping Elizeu Zaleski dos Santos in the first fifteen minutes, went to a majority draw after Zaleski almost knocked him out in the third round. The main card saw Elves Brener knock out a last-minute replacement in Kaynan Kruschewsky, Caio Borralho win a real tentative decision over an exhausted Abus Magomedov, Rodrigo Nascimento take a heavyweight decision against Don'Tale Mayes in a remarkably uneventful fight, and in the co-main event, Gabriel Bonfim looked like an absolute killer for one round, as he always has, and then Nicolas Dalby made it to the second round, at which point Bonfim gassed and Dalby beat him to a TKO. And, in your main event, the coronation of Jailton Almeida wound up being a real Pyrrhic victory, as he easily beat Derrick Lewis--but he was unable to submit him, or hurt him, or ever really come close to finishing the fight, so it was basically just five rounds of Jailton Almeida grappling Lewis with virtually no offensive output while referee Marc Goddard got so irritated he began repeatedly threatening to stand him up out of full mount. Jailton won, but he managed to get a Sao Paulo crowd to boo a victorious main event Brazilian, which is absolutely incredible. The following weekend's November 11th brought us UFC 295: Procházka vs. Pereira, which wound up being a strong contender for card of the year. Not only was it one of the better assemblies of well-matched fights the UFC's put together in awhile, almost every fight delivered for fantastic violence. Down on your early prelims Jamall Emmers took out Dennis Buzukja in less than a minute, Joshua Van and Kevin Borjas had a fantastic scrap that ended with Van on top, John Castańeda got a high-volume decision over Kyung-ho Kang, and Jared Gordon finally redeemed his no-good, very-bad year by knocking out Mark Madsen. On your regular-flavor prelims, Nazim Sadykhov and Viacheslav Borshchev fought to a fantastic draw, Mateusz Rębecki snatched a terrifying armbar over Roosevelt Roberts, Lupita Godinez punched her way to a split (that really shouldn't have been a split) over Tabatha Ricci, and Steve Erceg got an exceptionally hard-fought victory over Alessandro Costa. Your main card was short and sweet. Diego Lopes punched out Pat Sabatini in a minute thirty, Benoît Saint-Denis lost the race by knocking out Matt Frevola in a minute thirty-one, Jéssica Andrade spoiled the UFC's special night yet again by TKOing Mackenzie Dern in two rounds, and in your co-main event, Tom Aspinall ended the scariest streak at heavyweight by knocking out Sergei Pavlovich in just over a minute, becoming the UFC Interim Heavyweight Champion in the process and, in all likelihood, the actual world champion, as god knows if Jon Jones will ever really come back. In your main event, Alex Pereira became the latest person to succeed in the great two-belt gold rush, scoring a TKO some people think was a touch early (personally, I think it was fine) over former champ Jiří Procházka to win the Light Heavyweight Championship of the world. November 17th saw off the final Bellator event of the year and, possibly, all of time and space: Bellator 301: Amosov vs Jackson. One last time, we had a giant ten-fight preliminary card, and in respect for the fallen, we're gonna go over all of it. Yves Landu took a split decision over Isao Kobayashi, Tim Wilde got a real fun headkick knockout over Mike Hamel, Cody Law put a legal beating on Jefferson Pontes, and Islam Mamedov scraped his way to a split against Killys Mota. A trifecta of submissions followed: Ramazan Kuramagomedov choked out Randall Wallace, Matheus Mattos choked out Richard Palencia, and Kery Taylor-Melendez guillotined Sabriye Şengül. Fittingly, the last three prelims were all decisions: Timur Khizriev ground out Justin Gonzalez, Denise Kielholtz kicked Sumiko Inaba just a whole bunch, and Archie Colgan defeated Pieter Buist. Your main card, on the other hand, started off real hilarious. Alexandr Shabily outpointed Patricky Pitbull in an extremely one-sided fight to get into the finals of the Lightweight Grand Prix, if, y'know, they still happen. A.J. McKee won a supremely weird match with Sidney Outlaw in which Outlaw thoroughly controlled him on the floor, but landed so little offense in the process that McKee still got a 30-27. Raufeon Stots and Danny Sabatello had a rematch of their ostensibly feud-ending bout from last December, and once again, Sabatello wrestled Stots a bunch and accomplished nothing with it and Stots battered him to a decision victory. In what probably should have been the main event, Patchy Mix and Sergio Pettis sought to unify their broken Bantamweight title and Patchy succeeded, dethroning the standing champion by rear-naked choke in just the second round. Interim is now Undisputed. Your main event saw a giant upset, as Yaroslav Amosov's title reign and 27-fight undefeated streak both came to an end at the hands of Jason Jackson, who, having not recorded a knockout in half a decade, not only dominated Amosov in the wrestling but knocked him out standing midway through the third round. Bellator has brand new Bantamweight and Welterweight champions--but what they are champions of, we won't know until next year. The UFC's November concluded with UFC Fight Night: Allen vs Craig on November 18th. It was a weird card on paper, and sure enough, it was a weird card in practice. Down on your prelims: Charles Johnson's third-round rally wasn't enough to keep him from losing a decision to Rafael Estevam, Trey Ogden was two minutes away from an extremely clear decision over Nikolas Motta but referee Mike Beltran called Motta out on a submission that wasn't actually in and the fight wound up a No Contest, Ailín Pérez beat Lucie Pudilová and twerked on the octagon upside down, Jeka Saragih knocked out Lucas Alexander after he turned his back by mistake, Mick Parkin beat Caio Machado in a bout 80% of media scored against him, Christian Leroy Duncan struggled with Denis Tiuliulin before knocking him out in the second round, Jose Johnson submitted Chad Anheliger with just ten seconds left in their fight, and Joanderson Brito choked out Jonathan "JSP" Pearce. On your main card, last-minute replacement Myktybek Orolbai made his UFC debut by submitting Uroš Medić, Amanda Ribas overcame an early struggle with Luana Pinheiro and knocked her out with a spinning wheel kick, Payton Talbot got controlled by Nick Aguirre but submitted him in the third round anyway, Chase Hooper tapped out Jordan Leavitt in three minutes, and Michael Morales took a solid decision over Jake Matthews. Your main event put Brendan Allen and Paul Craig together in what some folks wanted to be a real interesting grappling battle, but unfortunately, aside from one neat near-calif slicer by Craig, it was mostly just Allen mauling him for two rounds and finally submitting him in the third. And the month as a whole ended on November 24th with PFL 10, the traditional end-of-season pay-per-view. And, boy, it was loving terrible. It was incredibly long, it was terribly paced, it had real awkward celebrity-commentary intrusions into fights (what DOES Wiz Khalifa think about clinch control?), and most of the fights were, ultiamtely, real uneventful. In non-title fights, Jesse Stirn took as decision over Josh Blyden, Phil Caracappa outworked Khai Wu, Biaggio Ali Walsh won yet another amateur bout, Derek Brunson outwrestled Ray Cooper III and Kayla Harrison judoed Aspen Ladd for fifteen minutes. In championship finals: Jesus Pinedo won the Featherweight title by TKOing Gabriel Braga, Impa Kasanganay took a five-round decision over Josh Silveira to win the Light Heavyweight tournament, Magomed Magomedkerimov became a two-time Welterweight winner after choking out Sadibou Sy in three rounds, Larissa Pacheco won the Women's Featherweight tournament with a long decision over Marina Mokhnatkina, and Renan Ferreira took the Heavyweight tournament with a second-round knockout over Denis Goltsov. Your main event was the Lightweight final, where Olivier Aubin-Mercier managed to win an incredibly slow grappling decision over Clay Collard, who, despite spending 3/4 getting outgrappled on the ground, still outstruck OAM. It was one of those. Godspeed, PFL. See you next year. WHAT'S COMING IN DECEMBER As always December is pretty sedate, but we've got a couple big explosions at the end. The month kicks off on the 2nd with UFC on ESPN: Dariush vs Tsarukyan, which is one of those cards that's so all over the place it feels like a bit of a fever dream. Veronica Hardy had a big performance in her comeback earlier this year! So she's curtain-jerking the prelims. Steve Garcia's breakout year leads him to fighting Melquizael Costa. Clay Guida is fighting Joaquim Silva, for some reason? Miesha Tate is back, again, and she's fighting Julia Avila? On the prelims? Your main card has Khalil Rountree Jr. vs Azamat Murzakanov, Punahele Soriano vs Dustin Stoltzfus, Sean Brady vs Kelvin Gastelum as he returns to 170 pounds for the first time since 2016, Deiveson Figueiredo's bantamweight debut against Rob Font, Dan Hooker taking on Bobby Green, and in your main event, a wrestling-based barn-burner between Beneil Dariush and Arman Tsarukyan. Then it's off to ONE on December 9th with ONE Fight Night 17, which, uh. Exists? At the time of this writing we're a couple weeks out, the card has no main event thanks to Tawanchai and Superbon being cursed never to meet, and there are only five fights announced for the show and all of them are Muay Thai kickboxing matches. Man, remember when ONE being on Amazon was a really big deal? Remember how hard they pushed that? And now we're here. Good job, Bezos. UPDATE: The new main event is ONE crowning yet another loving champion, this time with Roman Kryklia fighting the debuting Alex Roberts for the ONE Heavyweight Muay Thai championship. Have fun. Later that day we go back to the UFC for UFC Fight Night: Song vs Gutiérrez. And the UFC calls a year with December 16th's UFC 296: Edwards vs Covington. As has become tradition, they're blowing it out a bit for the last pay-per-view of the year, as there's almost no wasted space on this card. Tagir Ulanbekov vs Cody Durden, Casey O'Neill vs Ariane Lipski, Martin Buday vs Shamil Gaziev, Randy Brown vs Muslim Salikhov, Irene Aldana vs Karol Rosa, Alonzo Menifield vs Dustin Jacoby and Cody Garbrandt vs Brian Kelleher--it's all pretty solid. Your (probable) main card's a banger, too: Josh Emmett vs Giga Chikadze, Vicente Luque vs Ian Machado Garry, Shavkat Rakhmonov vs Stephen Thompson, and, unfortunately, Tony Ferguson vs Paddy Pimblett, because everything needs a little grossness in it. You've got two title fights after that, though: Your co-main event has Alexandre Pantoja defending the Flyweight Championship against Brandon Royval, and in your main event, the UFC finally gets what it wants, as Leon Edwards defends the Welterweight Championship against Colby Covington. But the curtain doesn't fall on the year until we get a Japanese MMA New Year's event, and 2023 is no different. Rizin 45 comes to you live on December 31st. Minoru Kimura just failed a drug test and had his last several fights turned into No Contests. Does Rizin care? No! Go kickbox Rukiya Anpo. Oh, whoops, he failed another drug test so the fight's off. Crazy! Shinobu Ota has faltered in his quest to become the latest Olympic Judoka crossover star and just lost to Shoko Sato in October. Is he out? Of course not! He's fighting Ryusei Ashizawa, a kickboxer who's never had an MMA fight in his life. Tsuyoshi Sudario looked iffy in his last fight? Give him the 2-1 Mikio Ueda! Bellator's no longer in a position to participate in cross-promotion? Go team up with the Bareknuckle Fighting Championship and have him fight Hiromasa Ougikubo! Your top-card attractions are Kleber Koike Erbst vs Yutaka Saito in the hopes of getting a shot at his featherweight championship again, Kyoji Horiguchi and Shinryu Takahashi in a do-over for their aborted fight to crown the first-ever Rizin Flyweight Champion, and in your main event, Rizin Bantamweight Champion Juan Archuleta defends his title against Kai Asakura. NOTE: Nobuhiko Takada will not be there. I know, I'm sad too.
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CURRENT UFC CHAMPIONS Heavyweight Champion, 265 lbs   Jon Jones - 27-1 (1), 0 DefensesVery few things in combat sports reach the crossroads of awe-inspiring and unfathomably frustrating as Jon Jones. In 2020, Jon Jones notched the third defense of his second light-heavyweight championship reign after an exceedingly contentious decision against Dominick Reyes, only to abdicate the title because the UFC wasn't paying him enough, and he was bored of 205 pounds and wanted to move up to heavyweight like he'd been planning to for nearly a decade, and he needed more time to cement his place as not just one of the sport's greatest pound-for-pound fighters, but one of its biggest pound-for-pound pains in the rear end. On September 23, 2021, Jon Jones was inducted into the UFC Hall of Fame; on September 24, 2021, he was arrested (for the fifth time!) after his daughter called the police on him for beating her mother, during which he antagonized the police and, inexplicably, headbutted a police car. Because this is Jon Jones, of course, the primary charges were dropped, he paid $750 for the hood of the police cruiser, and got a stern warning to stay out of trouble, young man, because there is a money-powered reality-distorting field around Jon Jones whereby nothing matters. After a year of rumors, and after the unconscionable firing of heavyweight champion Francis Ngannou, the UFC gleefully announced Jon Jones vs Ciryl Gane to fill the vacant heavyweight throne. Did it matter to the matchmaking that there were more deserving candidates? Of course not, because it's Jon Jones: He deserves the spot for his earlier success. Did it matter to his public appearances that when last we saw him he was arrested for beating his fiancee? Of course not, because it's Jon Jones: He was, if anything, more up his own rear end with self-righteousness than ever before. Did it matter to the fight that he hadn't competed in more than three years and looked terrible at the time? Of course not, because it's Jon loving Jones. Ciryl Gane looked too nervous to use footwork let alone throw anything, and he should have been, as Jones effortlessly threw him to the canvas and choked him out in two minutes. The longest-running, most dominant and yet most persistently annoying show in mixed martial arts is back. And in the most predictable thing possible, some bullshit happened, he got injured, he's going to be gone for at least eight months, and the UFC is not only not stripping him of the title like they've done to everyone else, they've already gotten out ahead of themselves and made clear that when he comes back, he will be fighting Stipe Miocic, not whoever the interim champion is at the time. Funny, that. Interim Heavyweight Champion   Tom Aspinall - 14-3, 0 DefensesThe UFC's Heavyweight division got itself into a weird spot in 2007. Randy Couture was the rightful, reigning, defending champion, but he and the UFC had a dispute that stretched out more than a year. The UFC couldn't strip him--it would have made it easier for him to get out of his contract--so they made an interim title. By the time Randy came back they had already made big plans for him and Brock Lesnar, but the interim title had gotten wrapped up in The Ultimate Fighter 8 (jesus christ) and it, too, had to be defended, meaning there were two championships being defended simultaneously: The Undisputed Championship, which was the 'real' belt despite being held by a guy trying to leave the company and contended for by someone with only two victories in the sport, and the Interim Championship, which was being fought over by the actual, legitimate top contenders. At UFC 295 on November 11th, 2023, Tom Aspinall, the rightful #4 contender, fought Sergei Pavlovich, the rightful #2 contender, for a new interim championship. And he won. On two weeks' notice! Aspinall's been one of the most promising heavyweight prospects in the world for years, his only loss in the UFC came from his knee tearing itself apart fifteen seconds into a fight, and he went toe-to-toe with one of the scariest punchers in the history of the sport and knocked him flat in just barely over a minute. He is, indisputably, the real deal. And now he gets to be the interim champion of a Heavyweight division in which the real champion, Jon Jones, is going to be out injured well into next year and, the UFC has made clear, will be returning to defend his title against Stipe Miocic, who by that time will have been on the shelf for 3+ years and will be going on 42. So congratulations, Tom. You're the real Heavyweight champion. I hope you get some credit for it. Light-Heavyweight Champion, 205 lbs   Alex Pereira - 9-2, 0 DefensesConflicting things can be simultaneously true in this sport. It is true that Alex Pereira was brought into the UFC as a 3-1 rookie based on his history as a kickboxer rather than his accomplishments in the sport. It is true that he was fast-tracked to a title shot against the primary focus of that history, megastar Israel Adesanya, after beating just three fighters, none of whom had any hope of testing his grappling. It is also true that he rendered that discourse ultimately irrelevant by not just beating but stopping Adesanya in his title shot anyway, in the process becoming the fastest Middleweight to go from debut to champion since Anderson Silva. It was more or less an open secret that he wasn't going to stay there: Being bigger than most Heavyweights in the UFC, the weight cut to 185 was always a short-term thing. Luckily for the UFC, he got knocked out by Adesanya and gave him the title right back on his way up to 205. Once again, he got fast-tracked, this time by happenstance. A split decision victory over Jan Błachowicz made Pereira a top five contender, and when Jamahal Hill was forced to vacate his title thanks to an ankle injury--and the previous champion, Jiří Procházka, was back from his own title vacation and injury--Pereira was slotted right back into championship place. They met at UFC 295 on November 11th, and after two back-and-forth rounds, Pereira punished a Jiří who dared to grapple by elbowing his skull until he briefly stopped moving. The commentary and audience thought it was an early stoppage, but Jiří Procházka didn't, so gently caress 'em. It is true that Alex Pereira has fought seven UFC fights without having to fight an actual grappler, and that was an intentional choice by matchmaking. It is true that getting the chance to win championships in two weight classes within just two years and seven fights in the UFC is not a thing that happens to most fighters. But it is unavoidably true that Alex Pereira is a two-division champion and no one can take it away from him. But because Light Heavyweight cannot be allowed to be good or stable, Alex Pereira, despite being the champion, called out his first desired contender: Israel Adesanya. Congratulations, everyone. Middleweight Champion, 185 lbs  Sean Strickland - 28-5, 0 DefensesYup. Against all reason, we're here. The UFC has been gleefully pushing Sean Strickland for awhile--half because he's their favorite kind of lovely, bigoted white guy, half because he takes fights basically every ninety days and costs way less money. Is he anything close to the violent knockout machine they market him as? No, not really: He has two finishes in the last half-decade and all his other finishes came back when he was still a welterweight. Has he enjoyed a long tenure as a top contender in the making? Well, not exactly: He's been fringe top ten for quite awhile, but he spent most of 2022 losing repeatedly and was 2 for his last 4. Did he earn his title shot by vanquishing top contenders and establishing himself as their better? Not even remotely: He has two top fifteen-ranked wins in his entire career, he got beaten by actual top contenders like Jared Cannonier and Alex Pereira, and he got his shot at the champion thanks to his victory over Abusupiyan Magomedov, veteran of one single, unranked, 19-second UFC fight. But Dricus du Plessis didn't want to take his well-earned championship match while he was injured, so the UFC sent Strickland to Australia, and he did the drat thing anyway. Israel Adesanya turned out a deeply baffling performance where he proved completely unprepared for Strickland's orthodox 1-2 pressure game to the point that Strickland almost finished the fight in the first round, which, admittedly, would have been hilarious in a the-ending-of-In-the-Mouth-of-Madness kind of way. Sean Strickland, god help us all, is a world champion. He is, thankfully, smart enough to know he has leverage, which came in handy when the UFC tried to get him to defend his title against Khamzat Chimaev with one week of preparation. Instead, he'll make his first title defense against Dricus du Plessis at UFC 297 on January 20. Welterweight Champion, 170 lbs   Leon Edwards - 21-3 (1), 1 DefensesIt took half a decade to get the world to notice, but everyone sees Leon Edwards now. "Rocky" came from the kind of circumstances sports movies are made of--a poor kid from Jamaica who moved to England, lost his father to gang violence, nearly lost himself to it as a teenager and found a healthy outlet for his anger in mixed martial arts. Edwards made his debut in 2011 as a prime example of the modern generation of fighter, cross-trained from the beginning in every discipline, and in just three years he was the welterweight champion of Britain and off to the UFC. Entering 2016, Leon had suffered the first true loss of his career--he was 10-3, but one of those losses was a DQ for an illegal blow and the other a coinflip decision that could easily have gone either way--at the hands of the newly-crowned Ultimate Fighter 21 winner, Kamaru Usman, making his debut as an official UFC competitor. It took ten fights without a loss for Leon to get his rematch. The UFC seemed especially resistant to his title contendership, pushing him down in favor of the ostensibly more marketable UK star in Darren Till and booking him against numerous other contenders and gatekeepers while repeatedly elevating less deserving fighters to the championship. He wouldn't have gotten it at all, in fact, had Jorge Masvidal not gotten arrested. On August 20, the UFC acquiesced and granted the clear #1 contender his shot at the championship, and at revenge against Kamaru Usman--and after getting dominated for three and a half out of five rounds, with the commentators openly opining on the likelihood that he had given up, with just fifty-six seconds left in the fight, Edwards uncorked a headkick that shocked the world and knocked Kamaru Usman out for the first time in his career. The rubber match was inevitable, and once again, Edwards opened as an underdog, and once again, he proved everyone wrong. Instead of a last-minute comeback Leon simply shut Usman down for the majority of the fight, stuffing eleven of his takedown attempts, outstriking him in four out of five rounds and landing an absolutely wild 75% of his strikes in the process. It was an incredible performance against one of the greatest welterweights of all time, marred only by Leon losing a point for fence grabs. The decision was unquestionably his, and now legitimized as the champion of the world, Leon's first move is...getting into a big, public spat with the UFC, because instead of any of the working contenders of the division Dana White is demanding he defend the belt against Colby Covington. After fighting about it in public all year, the UFC got its way: Leon Edwards vs Colby Covington will headline UFC 296 on December 16th. Lightweight Champion, 155 lbs   Islam Makhachev - 25-1, 2 DefensesDestiny has come. When Islam Makhachev made his UFC debut in 2015, Khabib Nurmagomedov, considered by most to be the #1 contender and soon to be the best in the world, swore up and down that Makhachev, not him, would be the best lightweight champion of all time. Coming from him, the praise made sense: Khabib and Islam have trained together since they were children growing up and learning to wrestle in Makhachkala. Islam learned under Khabib's father, trained with Khabib's team and even made the pilgrimage to America to join Khabib at the American Kickboxing Academy. And then, two matches into his UFC tenure, Islam got knocked the gently caress out in the first round by the little-known Adriano Martins, who hasn't won a fight in the six years since. Even as Makhachev racked up wins, the memory of his loss and his wrestling-heavy approach to his fights let people cast doubts on him. Sure, he's good--but he lost, so he's not as good as Khabib. Islam Makhachev, as his trainer tells it, never wanted to be Khabib. He loves fighting, but he doesn't love the spectacle or the glory or the attention. So when, after ten straight wins, Makhachev was picked to challenge Charles Oliveira for the vacant title he never truly lost, a lot of folks just weren't quite sure what to think. Sure, he was an incredible wrestler, but Charles Oliveira is a submission wizard, and sure, he's on a ten-fight streak, but he hasn't fought a single person actually IN the top ten, and Oliveira represents a huge, dangerous step up as a man who's been destroying some of the most accomplished lightweights in the sport's history. Analyst opinion was split right down the middle; the fight, as it turned out, was nowhere near that competitive, and the only analyst who was entirely correct was Khabib. Islam demolished the former champion, outstriking him, taking him down at will, controlling him in the grappling, and ultimately dropping him with punches and choking him out in the second round. His first defense was a different story. Islam faced featherweight champion Alexander Volkanovski at UFC 284 on February 12th in a rare best-of-the-best, champion vs champion match, and this time, his team's prediction of domination was thoroughly incorrect: It was a pitched battle that ended with Makhachev visibly exhausted and Volkanovski pounding on his face. Islam took an extremely close decision and the divisions will remain separate, but his aura of invulnerability has been thoroughly punctured. Or, at least, it was. In one of those funny moments of sport deterioration, his title defense against Charles Oliveira got scratched thanks to Oliveira busting his eyebrow in training, and on less than two weeks' notice the UFC ran Makhachev/Volkanovski 2, and with no hype, no marketing and no time to prepare, a visibly depleted Volkanovski got dropped by a headkick in the first round. Having now abruptly vanquished his rival, Islam Makhachev is...calling out the winner of the Leon Edwards vs Colby Covington welterweight title bout. God dammit. Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs   Alexander Volkanovski - 26-3, 5 DefensesSometimes, things get ruined for no good reason. Three things are true. 1: Alexander Volkanovski is one of the best fighters on the planet, and has proven it, repeatedly, over the last near-decade. His featherweight reign is second only to José Aldo in history, and he stands a great chance of surpassing him. 2: Alexander Volkanovski had one of the best performances of his career in February of 2023, when he met lightweight kingpin Islam Makhachev, took him to his limit and nearly knocked him out in the fifth round. Even though he lost a decision his stock rose considerably, and a rematch between the two seemed inevitable. 3: When the UFC called Volkanovski to step in and make that rematch happen as a short-notice replacement 13 days before fight night, he should have said no. For every fantastic story in mixed martial arts there are a thousand dreams crushed by reality. In reality, Islam Makhachev got most of a year to recover before training his rear end off to fight Charles Oliveira for months, and Alexander Volkanovski had just fought three months prior despite having a crippling arm injury, had just gotten surgery for said injury, and had only just finished his post-op recovery in mid-September. The Alexander Volkanovski who stepped into the cage on October 21st could have beaten up 9/10 of the planet, but he still looked diminished, and unfortunately, a fully-healthy, fully-trained, fully-prepared Islam Makhachev is firmly in that 1/10 even on a good day. It wasn't competitive, it wasn't dramatic, and it didn't take long. Islam domed Volk with a headkick and pounded him out in three minutes. In the post-fight interview an emotional Volkanovski talked about taking the replacement thanks to the psychological need to get back out there and fight again, and insisted that despite rushing back into the cage, and despite getting concussed, he still wanted to defend his featherweight title against Ilia Topuria at UFC 297 on January 20th. I say this as an enormous fan of the man: I really, really hope there's someone in his camp who can talk him out of it. It would be his fourth top-level world title fight in eleven months, and it would be his second in a row that would leave him with barely any time to prepare--given that, having been knocked out, he shouldn't have any sparring contact until the end of December. We all need time to get healthy. UPDATE: Well, I kind of got what I wanted. Volkanovski's defense got pushed back one month: He'll know face Ilia Topuria at UFC 298 on February 17th. Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs  Sean O'Malley - 17-1 (1), 0 DefensesThe house always wins. I have spent years being mad about Sean O'Malley. Very few people get the red carpet rolled out for them without having some other previous success to draw on, but Dana White seemingly hand-selected Sean O'Malley as The Guy back in 2017 when he won a contract on the second-ever episode of the Contender Series, and from the second he first stepped into the octagon, he was treated like a Big loving Deal. His matchmaking was favorable, his marketing was endless, and even when he hosed up--getting his leg broken against Andre Soukhamthath, pissing hot for ostarine and missing a year, getting knocked out by Marlon Vera--the UFC was there to pick him up and keep pushing him up the ladder. He went from fighting regional fighters and flyweights to a top ten matchup, and when that match ended with him poking out Pedro Munhoz's eye, he was catapulted into a title eliminator against the #1-ranked Petr Yan, and when he got one of the year's worst decisions against Yan, he was allowed to sit on his hands for almost a year to wait for a title shot against a champion who was given three months and no injury recovery time to prepare. Is it fair for me to dislike Sean O'Malley for decisions the UFC made? Absolutely not, and I don't blame him for them whatsoever. Fortunately for me, Sean O'Malley also has a great love of making public hot takes like "here's my power ranking of my female coworkers by how fuckable I think they are" and "publicly avowed rapist Andrew Tate is a great guy I want to co-promote and advertise with" and "convicted child molester Tekashi69 is my homeboy" and "I have an open relationship with my wife where I get to bang other people but she doesn't because I'm the man" that make me feel deeply, thoroughly at peace with disliking him for other reasons. But none of that means he isn't a hell of a fighter or he didn't absolutely loving flatten Aljamain Sterling with a picture-perfect counterpunch in their title fight. Did he deserve the shot? Not even a little. Did he prove he belongs at the top? Undeniably. However much of a shithead he may be, he's the champion of the goddamn world. Just in case his status as a marketing favorite had not been made abundantly clear, the UFC announced he will have his first title defense not in a rematch with Sterling, or a meeting with top contender Merab Dvalishvili, or even a bout with the streaking Cory Sandhagen, but--of course--a rematch with Marlon "Chito" Vera, the #6 contender on a one-fight win streak who knocked O'Malley out back in 2020. Neat. They'll fight at UFC 299 on March 9th. Flyweight Champion, 125 lbs  Alexandre Pantoja - 26-5, 0 DefensesSometimes, you just have someone's number. Brandon Moreno spent years fighting through a quadrilogy with Deiveson Figueiredo, and unfortunately for him, he had another trilogy waiting for him the second it was over. Alexandre "The Cannibal" Pantoja was Moreno's personal bogeyman, a man who'd fought and beaten him twice. But one of those fights was an exhibition on The Ultimate Fighter, and the other was against a Moreno with five less years of evolution and growth. Surely, a third fight in 2023 would be different. And it was--unlike the previous, one-sided dominations it was a fight-of-the-year candidate that took both men to their limit and led to a split decision--but its ending was not. Alexander Pantoja scored a third victory over Moreno, and with it, after sixteen years of competition, he finally became the clear, unequivocal best in the god damned world. Which was made even more poignant when he used his post-fight interview to ask if his absentee father was proud of him--and was made even more irritating when he also revealed that despite having eleven fights in the UFC at the time, he was paid so little that he'd been part-timing as a Doordash driver just to make ends meet right up up until 2022. The idea that one of the absolute best fighters on the planet, after years and nearly a dozen fights in the world's biggest, most profitable fighting organization, would need to take on a gig-economy job to make money is outright offensive, and in a better world, it would have launched a furor. In this one, all we can do is be happy he's got the belt and will, hopefully, make some actual loving money. His first title defense will officially come against Brandon "Raw Dawg" Royval as the co-main event to UFC 296 on December 16th, marking the first flyweight championship fight not to include either Deiveson Figueiredo or Brandon Moreno since January of 2019. Women's Featherweight, 145 lbs   VACANT - The forgotten vowWomen's Bantamweight, 135 lbs  VACANT - The last seat at musical chairsJune was a banner month for Vacant, as they claimed three belts in four weeks. Amanda Nunes spent seven years--minus about six really, really weird months last year--as not just the undisputed best women's mixed martial artist on the planet, but the undisputed best women's mixed martial artist of all time. While there are plenty of arguments to be had about the legitimacy of Women's Featherweight in the UFC, factually, she's the only UFC fighter to actually hold and defend championships in two weight classes at once, and she did it for years, and she made all of her opponents look like absolute poo poo. On June 10th she did it one last time, absolutely crushing Irene Aldana for five straight rounds, before officially retiring and passing into legend. With Julianna Peńa still recovering from her injury, the UFC is finally filling the Women's Bantamweight void: Raquel Pennington will face Mayra Bueno Silva at UFC 297 on January 20th, and whoever wins gets the unenviable task of trying to rebuild the division. No word on Women's Featherweight, though. I wonder how long I'll even keep it here. Women's Flyweight, 125 lbs   Alexa Grasso - 16-3-1, 1 Defense, Sort OfEvery once in awhile someone gets to shock the combat sports world, and in 2023, it's Alexa Grasso. The UFC has been high on Grasso since she left Invicta for her company debut back in 2016--she's been one of the most consistently featured fighters in ANY women's division, be it her time at strawweight or her move up to flyweight--but her two bids at the top of the mountain at 115 pounds met with disaster, once in Tatiana Suarez handing her the only stoppage loss of her career and once in Carla Esparza outwrestling her to a decision, and watching her manhandled by 115-pound fighters left the world doubting her 125-pound chances. But thanks to her solid boxing and her ever-improving ground game she ran up a four-fight winning streak, and when the UFC announced that she'd be taking on divisional queen and one of the greatest of all time in Valentina Shevchenko, the collective fan reaction was a unanimous "sure, okay," because Valentina disposing of people was a generally accepted phenomenon and she needed a warm body. The first round was a slight surprise, with Grasso stinging Shevchenko on the feet, but as so often happens, by the fourth round Valentina had taken over the fight, was ahead on every judge's scorecard and looked poised to cruise to her eighth title defense. And then, she was struck down by the bane of the sport: Spinning poo poo. Backed into the fence, Shevchenko did what she does entirely too often--a spinning back kick--and in the half-second she was turned away Grasso leapt to her back, dragged her to the floor, and became the first person to ever submit Valentina Shevchenko. Alexa Grasso, after years of work, is the Women's Flyweight Champion of the World. A rematch was inevitable, and it came at UFC Noche on September 16th, and, like everything does, it ended in controversy. After an incredibly close fight that the media had split almost cleanly down the middle, the judges ruled the contest a split draw. Which wouldn't be crazy--were it not for said draw hinging on Mike Bell, who is typically one of MMA's most reliable judges, giving Grasso a completely, utterly inexplicable and inexcusable 10-8 score in the final round, without which Valentina Shevchenko would have won a split decision. So Grasso did not win, in the end, but she did defend her title, technically. But unless Valentina turns out to need an extended break for hand surgery, we're going right back to the rematch well. Women's Strawweight, 115 lbs   Zhang Weili - 24-3, 1 DefensesAre you really surprised? There's a long tradition of underestimating unlikely champions in mixed martial arts, particularly when they're not the fan-friendliest in style or personality, from Michael Bisping to Frankie Edgar, only to have those demeaned champions remind the world that they didn't reach the peak of their divisions by mistake. Many of the wise, studied scribes of the sport warned the foolish masses against assuming the same about Women's Strawweight Champion Carla Esparza: She was no pushover, they said, and Zhang will have real trouble. And then, come fight day, we unwashed masses pulled them from their ivory towers and forced them to run in the streets amongst the mud and filth so they, too, could feel the unburdened joy of being, because Zhang Weili, as basically every fan had assumed, did, in fact, beat the absolute tar out of Carla. It wasn't particularly close: Carla got outlanded 37-6, hurt several times on the feet, and choked out just a minute into the second round. The inexplicable, season-long Cookie Monster subplot is over, Zhang Weili is now a two-time world champion, and things are back as they should be. What comes next, however, is tricky. Carla was blown out, so a rematch is out of the question. Rose Namajunas, the only person in the UFC to beat Weili, is a likely candidate--but after her disastrous performance against Carla, it remains to be seen how much faith the UFC has in her. Jéssica Andrade has a claim, but she's splitting time between 115 and 125, and probably needs to pick a weight class if she wants a shot. So the UFC solved the problem by picking Amanda Lemos. In a surprise to no one, Zhang absolutely dominated Lemos, outstriking her 296-29, smashing her to the tune of multiple 10-8 rounds, and winning a very, very wide decision. The next step is, in all likelihood, a China vs China championship showdown against Yan Xiaonan.
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NOTABLE CHAMPIONS ACROSS THE WORLD Bellator Heavyweight Champion, 265 lbs  Ryan Bader - 31-7 (1), 3 DefensesRyan Bader is the greatest Bellator Heavyweight Champion of all time, and on a dairy farm somewhere in Wisconsin, Cole Konrad feels a pang of regret. Bader made his name as the winner of The Ultimate Fighter: Nogueira vs Mir all the way back in 2008, but his UFC career proved to be one of Sisyphean torment and humiliation that included, somehow, impossibly, being the only man to lose a UFC fight to Tito Ortiz during his last six years in the company. Bader left for free agency and Bellator in 2016 and became its light-heavyweight champion on his first night with the organization, and just two years later he became its first-ever simultaneous double-champion after knocking out the legendary Fedor Emelianenko and taking the heavyweight title. Bader would go on to lose his 205-pound crown, but Fedor never forgot his 35-second drubbing at the American wrestler's hands, and for his retirement fight, he demanded a rematch. Thus it was that the entire mixed martial arts community watched with bated breath as on February 4th, 2023, Fedor Emelianenko walked into the cage one last time and promptly got the absolute crap beaten out of him again. Ryan Bader remains undefeated at heavyweight. He was to defend his title against Linton Vassell at Bellator's series finale-sounding Bellator 300, but Vassell got injured and, as Bader himself put it in a reddit post, Viacom is done with Bellator and didn't want to pay for a replacement. Ryan Bader is the best heavyweight champion outside of the UFC, and it's anyone's guess if he'll still be champion of anything by January. Bellator Light-Heavyweight Champion, 205 lbs   Vadim Nemkov - 17-2 (1), 4 DefensesBellator CEO Scott Coker has been complicating title reigns with tournaments for decades and he's not about to stop now. Vadim Nemkov won the Bellator Light-Heavyweight Championship from Ryan Bader in 2020, and his title reign was immediately wrapped up in the Light-Heavyweight Grand Prix that started the following year. Nemkov, a Fedor Emelianenko protege, former Spetsnaz operative and understated wrecking machine who hadn't lost a fight since his early-career days in Rizin back in 2016, continued his Bellator streak by handling the always-game Phil Davis and dealing with some trouble en route to submitting Julius Anglickas, but then the tournament came to a screeching halt. Bellator threw all its marketing cash at the ultimately ill-fated Bellator 277 in April of 2022, and a sizable chunk of that misfortune came from both its championship and tournament-final co-main event. Corey Anderson looked handily en route to defeating Nemkov, only to unintentionally headbutt him while diving in to throw a punch. The headbutt opened an uncloseable gash on Nemkov's brow--and it happened five seconds before round three would've ended and allowed the judges to score a technical decision. It would be seven full months before the final got its re-do, and this time, Nemkov avoided Anderson's wrestling and controlled the fight with distance strikes en route to a unanimous decision victory. It took nearly two years for Bellator to complete an eight-man tournament, but they did it, and Vadim Nemkov is still your world's champion. Nemkov scored one more defense after defeating Yoel Romero at Bellator 297 on June 16th, and he followed it up by opining about giving up the division and the belt and moving to heavyweight. Bellator hasn't yet confirmed this, possibly because Bellator doesn't know in what fashion it will exist this time next year. Bellator Middleweight Champion, 185 lbs  Johnny Eblen - 14-0, 2 DefensesThere's an old combat sports tradition whereby a champion isn't really a champion until they defend their title. Gegard Mousasi has been established as the best middleweight outside the UFC that, despite the one-sided nature of their fight, Johnny Eblen's victory over him was treated as an aberration rather than the passing of a torch. It didn't matter that Eblen was undefeated, widely considered one of the absolute best by his cohort at American Top Team or that he'd dropped Mousasi on his face with his bare hands, the world needed verification. On February 4th at Bellator 290, they got it. Fedor Emelianenko's team was intending to pull one big, beautiful night of success out of the ether for their leader's retirement fight, but it was not to be: Vadim Nemkov had to pull out of the card thanks to an injury, Fedor himself was crushed for the second time by heavyweight champion Ryan Bader, and middleweight hopeful Anatoly Tokov was competitive for the first couple of rounds but was subsequently washed out by Eblen's overwhelming assault. Johnny Eblen is a defending champion now, and as things always seem to go, the conversation changed overnight from his being overrated to his being better than everyone in the UFC. This mindset only grew again after Bellator 299 on September 23rd, as Eblen faced Fabian Edwards, knocked him out in the third round, and nearly got into a post-fight brawl with his brother, UFC champion Leon Edwards. Eblen admits he has no idea what his future is or if Bellator will still be around, but he's considering a move to light-heavyweight with Vadim Nemkov leaving the division wide open. Bellator Welterweight Champion, 170 lbs   Jason Jackson - 17-4, 0 DefensesGetting in right before the buzzer is one of the best times to get in. Jason Jackson does not win any points for having "The rear end-Kicking Machine" for a nickname, but his successes speak for themselves. Jackson actually had two run-ins with the UFC early in his career--since he got his start training with the short-lived Blackzilians team, he was part of The Ultimate Fighter 21 (jesus christ): American Top Team vs Blackzilians, where he was choked out in the second round. He didn't get invited to the UFC, but two years later he was on the third episode of the Contender Series, which saw him spend the first round mostly cage-clinching before breaking his ankle out of nowhere twenty seconds into the second round. He was in Bellator a couple years later losing a decision to Ed Ruth, and that was about the point the world decided to ignore him. As it turns out: A mistake. His path through Bellator was slow--to the point that he's only had one fight a year for the last three years--but by this year he was on a six-fight winning streak and a sensible opponent for Yaroslav Amosov. Very few people gave him a chance, but having not knocked anyone out since mid-2018, absolutely no one expected him to knock Amosov, the best Welterweight outside of the UFC, the gently caress out in the third round. Jason Jackson is, officially, the Bellator Welterweight Champion. Whether there will still be a division for him in a month, we'll have to wait and see. Bellator Lightweight Champion, 155 lbs  Usman Nurmagomedov - 17-0 (1), 2 DefensesIf there's a single, developing throughline of mixed martial arts in 2022, it's the growing power of the Dagestani wrestling brigade. Abdulmanap Nurmagomedov built an army of ultra-grapplers, and after his passing the American Kickboxing Academy's Javier Mendez and Adulmanap's son and protege, the now-retired Khabib Nurmagomedov, unleashed them on the world. Usman, Khabib's cousin (as well as the younger brother of Umar Nurmagomedov, undefeated and ranked UFC bantamweight), took to Bellator in April of 2021 and proceeded to burn an undefeated path through the Manny Muros and Patrik Pietiläe of the world. His style was a little more eclectic--lots of spinning kicks, lots of stick-and-move jabs and stomps to the leg--but the resemblance became uncanny once he inevitably, and easily, ragdolled his opponents to the canvas and generally choked them out in short order thereafter. When he was announced as the #1 contender to Bellator's lightweight title, I was somewhat miffed: He hadn't beaten any top contenders, Bellator had already held a title eliminator and it was won in a crushing thirty-second knockout by Tofiq Musayev, the whole thing smacked of a pathetic attempt to glom onto some of Khabib's mainstream attention. I at no point said that he wouldn't very, very easily win. At Bellator 288 on November 18th, Usman very, very easily won, defeating Patricky "Pitbull" Freire at every aspect of the game and leaving him sans both his championship and one eyebrow. Usman's first fight as champion was both a defense and an entry into the first round of Bellator's Lightweight Grand Prix on March 3rd at Bellator 292, where he met, crushed, and retired former UFC champion Benson Henderson, handing him just the third submission loss of a 17-year, 42-fight career. He faced fellow tournament semifinalist Brent Primus at Bellator 300 on October 7th, and it was as one-sided and yet uneventful as you can imagine. Until Usman failed his drug test. Bellator says it was for medication rather than PEDs and thus he won't be stripped, but the fight's a No Contest and they need a rematch, which seems awfully selective. Bellator Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs  Patrício Pitbull - 35-7, 1 DefensePatrício Pitbull has had a weird goddamn year. Pitbull has long been the GOAT of Bellator, sometimes to the company's open chagrin--there were definitely times they would have vastly preferred a Pat Curran or a Michael Chandler to carry their banner, and Patrício had this unfortunate habit of not just beating them but making them look like poo poo. By mid-2021, he was Bellator's dual featherweight and lightweight champion, he was on a seven-fight win streak, and he was a finalist in their Featherweight Grand Prix. And then undefeated rising star A.J. McKee dropped him and choked him out in two minutes. Bellator, clearly, felt they had hit the jackpot and were going to be riding the McKee train for some time, as by their rematch ten months later, McKee was the centerpiece of all of their advertising. It was somewhat awkward when, as he had done to so many before, Patrício took him to a victorious decision that made McKee kind of look like poo poo, neutralizing his offense in the clinch, jabbing under his range, and grinding away the clock. Bellator pushed for a trilogy, but McKee, pissed off, tired of cutting weight and worried about having it happen all over again, declined and moved up to lightweight. Instead of a big-money rematch, Patrício was left to face top contender Ádám Borics, and the match, while hard-fought, was not particularly entertaining or memorable. Pitbull's next fight was the rare cross-promotional bout, facing Rizin's featherweight champion Kleber Koike Erbst on the New Year's Eve Bellator x Rizin special. It was the only fight on the card that wasn't particularly competitive: He shut Kleber down completely and won a wide decision. There is only one featherweight king outside the UFC. And he's now on a two-fight losing streak, with one of those fights being a bantamweight loss to Sergio Pettis and the other a lightweight knockout to Chihiro Suzuki that he took on four days' notice. Bellator: Please stop killing Pitbull. Bellator Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs  Patchy Mix - 19-1, 0 DefensesIt took a long goddamn time, but Patchy Mix is finally getting the credit he deserves. Fans had already singled out Patchy as a uniquely talented fighter by 2019, when he signed to Bellator as the 10-0 King of the Cage Bantamweight Champion who'd submitted almost everyone he faced, but it wasn't really until he choked out Yuki Motoya at Bellator's first co-promotion with Rizin that people really paid attention. Which was unfortunate, because his next fight was a shot at Juan Archuleta for the vacant Bellator Bantamweight Championship and Archuleta schooled him on their feet, ending both Mix's title hopes and his undefeated streak. It didn't help matters when, two fights later, he blew his weight cut for a big Dublin match against James Gallagher. But Mix kept winning, and when he entered the Bantamweight Grand Prix and promptly stormed the bracket by beating Kyoji Horiguchi and choking out Magomed Magomedov, suddenly, people paid attention again. When he fought interim champion Raufeon Stots and knocked him out cold with a knee in less than a minute and a half, people began wondering if maybe he was the real champion and Sergio Pettis, who'd been out for a year and a half and returned to a vanity fight with Patrício Pitbull, wasn't the fake. The two met at Bellator 301 on November 17th, and Mix left no doubt: He outwrestled Pettis and choked him out in the second round. Patchy Mix is, finally, the undisputed Bellator Bantamweight Champion. It remains to be seen if his division continues to exist. Bellator Women's Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs  Cris Cyborg - 27-2 (1), 5 DefensesYup. It's 2023 and Cris Cyborg is still out there. For those who don't know, Cris Cyborg was the canonical women's featherweight fighter, a Muay Thai wrecking machine who didn't just beat but brutalized essentially all of her opponents, including ex-Star Wars Gina Carano, and her popularity as a destroyer of humans is the only real reason women's featherweight even exists as a division, to the point that the UFC added it when she was the only actual fighter at the weight class they employed. She was 20-1 (1) when she passed the torch to Amanda Nunes, who slew her in just fifty-one seconds. She took one more fight in the UFC to complete her contract, but left for Bellator almost immediately afterward with uncharacteristic cooperation from the UFC itself--after all, they'd gotten what they wanted out of her. Her first Bellator fight was a one-sided destruction of their featherweight champion, and she's defended it three times since. At this point in Cyborg's career the problem isn't her or her fighting or her age, but simply that there's no one in Bellator for her to fight--after just five fights she's already hitting rematches, having just recorded her second one-sided bludgeoning of a very game but outmatched Arlene Blencowe. Cyborg decided her next fight would be a boxing match, and on September 25 she faced Simone da Silva, a jobber to the stars coming off twelve straight losses who had been knocked out just one month prior. Undeterred, she had her second boxing match on the undercard of December 10th’s Crawford/Avanesyan card, taking a unanimous decision over Gabrielle “Gabanator” Holloway, who is 6-6 in MMA and 0-3 in boxing. After a year and a half of inactivity, Cris Cyborg returned to MMA to defend her title against Cat Zingano at Bellator 300 on October 7th. It lasted four minutes. She'd like to go back to boxing now, if you don't mind. Bellator Women's Flyweight Champion, 125 lbs  Liz Carmouche - 20-7, 3 DefensesIt took more than a decade and some controversy, but Liz Carmouche got her flowers. "Girl-Rilla" was just as present a figure in establishing women's MMA in the mainstream, but she's the most consistently forgotten because she was the losing fighter in all of those establishing moments. She was a challenger for the early, pre-fame Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight Championship, and was winning on the scorecards before Marloes Coenen choked her out. She was a central part of the inaugural Invicta FC card, and was planned as a title contender before the big show came calling. She became one half of the first women's fight in UFC history, and at one point had Ronda Rousey in a nearly destiny-defying neck crank, but was ultimately submitted in the first round. She's one of two women to ever defeat Valentina Shevchenko, but when given a second chance at the now-UFC champion Shevchenko, she fell short. Despite her powerful wrestling and submission skills, she was eternally denied the top of the mountain. So it was both particularly appropriate and particularly cruel when she finally won a championship on April 22, 2022--in a way that displeased everybody. Standing champion Juliana Velasquez was winning on every scorecard, but Liz Carmouche got her in the crucifix position and landed a number of, respectfully, small elbows, but referee Mike Beltran called a TKO to the immediate chagrin of the entirely safe ex-champion. The controversy made a rematch all but mandatory, and it took Bellator most of the year to do it, but the two met in the cage to run it back at Bellator 289 on December 9, and this time there was no controversy, as Velasquez submitted to an armbar two rounds in. The weirdness didn't stop there: Liz's next title defense against Deanna Bennett also hit the skids, as Bennett missed weight and was thus ineligible to win the championship. Carmouche put it on the line anyway, and fortunately, she choked Bennett out in the fourth round. She defended her title against Ilima-Lei Macfarlane at Bellator 300 on October 7th, and it was one of those fights where friends don't really want to hurt each other--until Ilima got kicked enough that her leg collapsed in the fifth round. ONE Heavyweight Champion, 265 lbs   Anatoly Malykhin - 13-0, 0 DefensesONE Light Heavyweight Champion, 225 lbs  Anatoly Malykhin - 13-0, 0 DefensesAnatoly Malykhin's bizarre two-year journey through ONE Championship has finally come to a place of rest. Ascension in the heavyweight division has never been the longest road in the world, but in ONE, where they don't actually bother with divisional rankings past lightweight and there have somehow only been five undisputed heavyweight championship bouts in eight years, the road is very short and easily traversed through violent punchings. Thus, when Anatoly Malykhin arrived in 2023 and punched two men out in five minutes, that was more than sufficient. But the standing champion, Arjan Bhullar, just couldn't make it to the cage. They were supposed to fight in February of 2022, but Bhullar was hurt, so Malykhin got an interim title by destroying Kirill Grishenko. They were supposed to unify the belts in September, but Arjan was hurt, so they pushed it to December--and then Arjan played contractual hardball, so in a truly baffling reversal, ONE had Malykhin drop to 225 pounds and destroy double-champ Reinier de Ridder instead. The heavyweight unification got rebooked for March of 2023--and then Bhullar pulled out again. It wasn't until June 23rd, with their bout unceremoniously placed smack-dab in the middle of a Friday Fights Muay Thai card, that the match two years in the making finally happened. And it was...massively underwhelming, with Bhullar seeming alternately frozen and as though he wanted to be absolutely anywhere else in the world. Malykhin used him as a punching bag for two and a half rounds, with Bhullar at one point penalized for trying to escape the ring, and Malykhin put a stamp on it with a TKO in the third round. Finally--mercifully--the heavyweight championship is unified. Anatoly Malykhin is whole. And he immediately began talking about dropping to 205 for Reinier's OTHER belt, because, uh, ONE doesn't have any other loving heavyweights to fight. ONE Middleweight Champion, 205 lbs   Reinier de Ridder - 16-1, 2 DefensesThere's a long tradition of B-league hype in mixed martial arts. The hardcore fanbase chafes under both the total ubiquity of the UFC as a product and the way they set themselves up as the end-all be-all of the sport. As the B-leagues create dominant champions of their own, the fanbase inevitably rallies behind them as equal to, if not greater than, the UFC's equivalent titleholder, and further, as evidence of other companies having even better talent. And once or twice a generation, they're right! But most of the time, they're not. Fighters who destroy their B-league equivalents will commonly take a step outside their comfort zone and get immediately rolled by reality. Reinier de Ridder, more than any other competitor, was the popular argument for ONE's supremacy over the UFC: An undefeated ultra-grappler with belts at two divisions, one of which happened to be the UFC's permanently embattled light-heavyweight class. The remarkable ease with which he ragdolled and submitted his opponents, and the shaky nature of his UFC peers, led to wide exultation of his skills and regular comments from ONE CEO Chatri Sityodtong about his prospects against the best the world had to offer. It was consequently something of a bummer when he fought Anatoly Malykhin, the first opponent in years he didn't have a strength or grappling advantage over, and looked immediately lost when his takedown attempts did nothing. He had no visible striking defense to speak of and was ultimately, and distressingly easily, destroyed. The cycle has played out once again, the latest idol has lost, and now Reinier de Ridder will have to move forward. He lost a grappling match to Tye Ruotolo on May 5th, because ONE is silly. ONE Welterweight Champion, 185 lbs   Christian Lee - 17-4, 0 DefensesONE Lightweight Champion, 170 lbs  Christian Lee - 17-4, 0 DefensesIt took three tries, but by god, Chatri gets what Chatri wants. Christian Lee, the male half of the first family of ONE Championship and its homegrown golden boy, was very mad about losing his lightweight championship in a controversial decision to Ok Rae Yoon last year. He demanded the decision be reviewed and overturned and his championship reinstated. Unsurprisingly: This did not happen. After months of complaining and just shy of a year of waiting, the two had their long-awaited rematch and Lee left nothing to chance, knocking Yoon out in six minutes to reclaim his belt. Having finally retrieved his title, Lee, being a responsible champion, proceeded to immediately challenge ONE'S 185-pound champion, Kiamrian Abbasov, for his title, a move that was definitely in no way influenced by ONE's repeated attempts to get his sister Angela Lee double-champion status. Fortunately for Christian, Abbasov horribly botched his weight cut: He came in overweight, lost his title on the scale, and was visibly depleted in the fight. Which is particularly lucky, because Abbasov beat Lee senseless in the first round to the point that a standing TKO would not have been an unreasonable stoppage. But whether from his failed weight cut or simply from punching himself out, Abbasov was exhausted by the second round, and Lee mounted a gutsy comeback and ultimately stopped him with ground-and-pound in the fourth round. After three attempts, ONE has succeeded in getting two belts on a Lee. Unfortunately, it was followed by tragedy. After the passing of his younger sister Victoria, Christian took the whole of the year to, understandably, grieve. He's planning his comeback for February of 2024. ONE Featherweight Champion, 155 lbs  Tang Kai - 15-2, 0 DefensesTang Kai has been flying under the radar for some time, and in hindsight, that was clearly a mistake. He made his professional debut as a 20 year-old collegiate wrestler and won a rookie featherweight tournament in China's WBK (after investigating, we THINK it's World Battle Kings), but his stylistic limitations became apparent when he moved up to Kunlun Fight--and stopped fighting rookies. Dominant decision losses to ACA standout Bekhruz "Ong Bak" Zukurov and Road to UFC runner-up Asikeerbai Jinensibieke made Kai's weaknesses too apparent to ignore, and he made the tough call to commit to his dream, pack up his life, and move away from home to start training with real fight camps, most notably Shanghai's Dragon Gym and Phuket's legendary Tiger Muay Thai. It's worked out quite well: He hasn't lost a fight in five years. Three knockout wins in China's Rebel FC got ONE's attention, and since debuting with the organization in 2019, Kai has soundly defeated everyone in his path. He claims his wrestling base makes him impossible to take down and he proves it by using it almost entirely defensively, vastly preferring to bludgeon his opponents on his feet. His fight against Thanh Le, while blistering and difficult, was proof: He evaded every takedown attempt, widely outstruck him, dropped him with punches and leg kicks alike, and took the belt he's held for two years. And then, absolutely nothing else happened. It took ONE almost a full year to book another match for Tang Kai, and it was just an instant rematch with Thanh Le with no fanfare. And then Tang Kai busted his knee and announced he was out with no definite return date. Great job, everybody. ONE Interim Featherweight Champion, 155 lbs  Thanh Le - 14-3, 0 DefensesWell, we're right back here again. Thanh Le was considered a potential breakout star for ONE during their own breakout in 2020: A genuinely skilled, hard-punching, well-rounded, charismatic, American star who only won by stoppage and almost never lost. Moreover, he was a black eye for the UFC, as they had him not once, but twice--first on The Ultimate Fighter 22 (jesus christ), where he lost in the semifinals, and second on the Contender Series in 2017, where he scored a vicious headkick knockout. But they only offered him short-notice replacement debuts, and when ONE came calling, they simply let him go. Within a year, Thanh Le was 4-0 and had knocked out Martin Nguyen to become the new featherweight champion. And then, as ONE does, they fumbled the ball. Thanh twiddled his thumbs for a year and a half for a fight with the 6-0 Garry Tonon, whom he dispatched in less than a minute. Five months later, he lost his title to Tang Kai. He waited an entire year for a rematch--and when Kai got hurt, he took an interim title fight with Ilya Freymanov on October 6, 2023, and tapped him out in 1:02. He's back. He has a belt again. And nobody knows when he'll fight next. ONE Bantamweight Champion, 145 lbs  Fabricio Andrade - 9-2 (1), 0 DefensesThe second time was the charm. When Fabricio "Wonder Boy" Andrade joined ONE Championship back in 2020 he was a virtual unknown in the mixed martial arts world, a 20-3 kickboxer but only a 3-2 mixed martial artist who'd been fighting out in the regional circuit of China. His association with Tiger Muay Thai put him on ONE's radar, and his visible striking skills despite being just 21 at the time made him interesting enough for a developmental contract. Said contract proceeded to develop into Andrade going on a five-fight winning streak that only got more dominant as he met tougher competition, and three straight first-round knockouts punched his ticket to the championship picture. His first appearance in the spotlight, unfortunately, went a touch awry. First, bantamweight champion John Lineker lost his title on the scale after missing weight, meaning only Andrade was eligible to become champion, and he was well on his way to doing so before hitting Lineker with an errant strike to the groin so hard it shattered his cup, and with the fight not yet halfway complete, it had to be rendered a No Contest. It took four months to get to the rematch, and it was much more closely contested, but after four rounds Lineker threw in the towel, his face having been punched too swollen to continue. Fabricio Andrade is 25 and a world goddamn champion. He promptly skipped away from MMA completely and faced Jonathan Haggerty for ONE's Featherweight Kickboxing Championship on November 3rd, where he was immediately destroyed. Haggerty wants an MMA fight next. ONE Flyweight Champion, 135 lbs  Demetrious Johnson - 31-4-1, 0 DefensesThe king has returned. Demetrious Johnson's 2019 debut with ONE Championship was essentially scandalous. "Mighty Mouse" had long been a fan favorite of the lighter weight classes, a 5'3" combat machine who had been going the distance with world champions like Kid Yamamoto and Dominick Cruz while still working a day job in a warehouse, but it was only in 2012 when he dedicated himself to mixed martial arts as his full-time job that he became a star. He won the UFC's flyweight tournament and became its inaugural champion, and his talents are the reason a division that has existed for a decade has only had five champions--three of whom came in the last two years after he left. By 2018, Johnson had one of the longest winning streaks in the UFC, was the all-time recordholder for championship defenses in the UFC and had recorded some of the most outstanding finishes in the history of the UFC. By 2019, he was out of the company. Johnson and the UFC never got along--or, to be blunt, Johnson was one of the few publicly calling the UFC out on its bullshit. When he won the flyweight title and became a world champion while only getting paid $23k/23k he let it be known, when the UFC cut sponsorship money in the Reebok era he noted the raw deal it gave the fighters, and when Dana White tried to force him to take fights up at bantamweight by threatening to kill the flyweight division if he didn't, he told the world. After Henry Cejudo beat him in a razor-close coinflip decision and took the bargaining leverage of his championship away, it was over in a heartbeat. Dana White personally disliked him enough that he traded him to ONE Championship in exchange for their welterweight champion, Ben Askren. Johnson proceeded to immediately win ONE's flyweight grand prix, but took the first stoppage loss of his entire career in his shot at Adriano Moraes and his world championship and engendered a thousand MMA thinkpieces about if his time as a top fighter was over. A year and a half later, he got his rematch, and on August 27 at ONE on Prime Video 1 he returned the favor, handing Moraes his own first stoppage loss after knocking him out with a flying knee. The trilogy match was inevitable, and on May 5th, Johnson beat Moraes by a comprehensive decision, ending the story--and maybe his career. He says he's not sure if he's coming back yet. Fingers crossed. ONE Strawweight Champion, 125 lbs  Jarred Brooks - 20-2 (1), 0 DefensesJarred Brooks dealt with some crap on his way to a title. By 2017 he was one of the most-heralded flyweight prospects in the sport: An undefeated 13-0 multi-champion as an amateur, an undefeated 12-0 as a professional with fights across three separate weight classes, his heavy wrestling-and-grappling grinding style ground most of his opponents to dust. He took the moniker of "The Monkey God" thanks to his unorthodox striking and wrestling entries--when you're not afraid of grappling, you can get creative with the striking. And then he hit the UFC in 2017 and everything kind of went to hell. Three of his four UFC bouts went to split decision: A debut victory against Eric Shelton Brooks probably should've lost, a followup loss against future champion Deiveson Figueiredo Brooks probably should've won, an intervening bout where Brooks was easily dominating Jose Torres only to score the rare MMA own goal and knock himself out after smacking his head on the ground doing a big, showy slam, and a third and final split decision victory over Roberto Sanchez that really, really shouldn't have been split at all. And then the UFC cut him, despite being 2 and 2 and having gone the distance with the biggest new prospect in the division, because the UFC Doesn't Like Flyweights. So Brooks went over to Rizin, where he intended to build his way up as the next big foreign threat to top star Kyoji Horiguchi--and it was over in eleven seconds, after an inadvertent headbutt cut his opponent's eyebrow open and the blood-unfriendly Japanese network called a no-contest. His international comeback was further destroyed by COVID, and Brooks found himself iced for two straight years as he waited for the dust to settle. By November of 2021, he was making his long-delayed ONE debut; by June of 2022, he was 3-0 and the top contender. And then, of course, his title fight got delayed another six months thanks to an injury. On December 3rd, 2022, he finally got his long-belated shot at a major title, and shocking no one, he wrestled the poo poo out of Joshua Pacio for five straight rounds. Four years later than expected, Jarred Brooks has international gold. And because ONE's weight classes don't matter, he immediately called out 135-pound champ Demetrious Johnson, and because ONE's sport classes don't matter, he grappled Mikey Musumeci for his submission championship, and lost, on August 4th. ONE Women's Strawweight Champion, 125 lbs  Xiong Jing Nan - 18-2, 7 DefensesXiong Jing Nan dreamed of lifting weights. She'd enjoyed sports as a child, and when China started its national push for Olympic supremacy she began training heavily in hope of joining the national weightlifting team. But then she met aspirants for its boxing team and fell in love with the idea of living out a martial arts movie and getting to hit people for fun and profit and she never looked back. She turned pro in 2014 and immediately became a standout, going 9-1 in China's Kunlun Fight promotion with wins across three separate weight classes. What made her truly dangerous wasn't one-punch power, but the ability to break her opponents with constant pressure striking, scoring TKOs with combinations stretched out across dozens of consecutive, unending strikes. The story was no different when she moved to ONE in 2017, and she was strawweight champion within two fights. ONE's women's MMA divisions have been its most stable, each having had exactly one champion, and they were so dominant that they inevitably had to fight each other--and, hilariously, traded wins back and forth in the process. 115 lbs champion Angela Lee went up to 125 to challenge for Xiong Jing Nan's belt but Nan stopped her with body kicks in the fifth round, and half a year later Nan dropped down to 115 to challenge for Lee's belt only for Lee to choke her out with twelve seconds left in the fight. Xiong has notched three successful title defenses since, which set her up for her greatest challenger yet: Angela Lee, again, apparently. Despite ONE's best attempts, Xiong successfully defended her title against Lee again, nearly finishing her in the first round and ultimately winning a decision. An entire 364 days later, she had her next fight: A special rules match, with MMA gloves but only punches and no takedowns or clinching allowed, against Muay Thai champion Nat "Wondergirl" Jaroonsak. Xiong knocked her out in the third round. What are we loving doing here? ONE Women's Atomweight Champion, 115 lbs   Stamp Fairtex - 10-2, 0 DefensesIt was slightly awkward when Seo Hee Ham and Stamp Fairtex were booked to meet at ONE Fight Night 14 in an interim atomweight title match, given the longstanding rumors of Angela Lee's retirement, and boy, it didn't get any less weird when ONE, which clearly knew what was going on, had Angela Lee announce that retirement just minutes before said match, which was promptly changed to an undisputed championship bout. But that's just part of how ONE rolls, as is their blatant attempts at favoritism, and boy, Stamp Fairtex is their most successful case study thus far. ONE signed her back in 2017 as a Muay Thai stadium champion, and within one fight in ONE she was their Atomweight Kickboxing Champion, and within two fights she was their Atomweight Muay Thai champion. Is this a statement about how quickly they push people they want or how thin their divisions can be? The answer, as always, is Yes. But none of that stopped Stamp from being really loving good at fighting, and as she transitioned to mixed martial arts she ran up a great record--with the sole exception of a two-fight series with Alyona Rassohyna, where she tapped out in the first and attempted to deny it, then won a real close split decision in an immediate rematch. ONE did not feel the need to book a rubber match, for some odd reason. Stamp won the 2021 Atomweight Grand Prix, got her shot at Angela Lee, and got choked out for her troubles, but a year and two wins later, she was good to go for another championship showdown. It wasn't easy--Seo Hee Ham dropped Stamp in the second round and, for some mysterious reason, when recapping the round, ONE chose to highlight Stamp's offense and not show it--but she stopped Ham with body shots in the third round, and in doing so became not just the undisputed champion, but the first person to ever actually knock Ham out in a fight. (Before you say it: No, Ayaka Hamasaki doesn't count, that was a corner stoppage.) ONE has their new star, and she's a hell of a striker. The question is: Will they actually book more MMA fights for her?  Rizin Lightweight Champion, 156 lbs  Roberto de Souza - 15-3, 2 DefensesRoberto "Satoshi" de Souza is trying to become the new Gegard Mousasi. On April 17 he had the chance to avenge the only loss of his career, a half-knockout half-injury against "Hollywood" Johnny Case back in 2019, and he succeeded in emphatic fashion, climbing Case's back, locking him in an inverted triangle choke and eventually forcing an armbar. He's now 14-1 and inarguably one of the best lightweights outside of the UFC, but unlike most of the other fighters to bear that title, he has made it clear he has no interest in changing that. Where the A.J. McKees and Michael Chandlers of the world want to test free agency and notoriety, Roberto de Souza is happy in Japan, both because his Rizin pay is fairly lucrative and his entire family jiu-jitsu business is based in the country. This is admirable, but it's also a little unfortunate: Rizin really only has around a dozen lightweights under contract, and "Satoshi" has already beaten a third of them. He may be waiting for a Spike Carlyle or a Luiz Gustavo to work their way into contention, but the Rizin ranks hold few surprises for him at this point. It was thus of particular interest when the main event for the New Year's Eve Bellator x Rizin card was announced as Roberto de Souza vs AJ McKee--a test of where Souza ranks with the rest of the world's competition. Unfortunately for him and Rizin, the answer was "under them." He positionally threatened McKee and was able to land some solid strikes in the final round, but was otherwise controlled and lost a decision. On May 6th, Satoshi beat Spike Carlyle in a fantastic fight--but it was a non-title fight, because Japanese promoters are still real scared of their own belts. Satoshi fought Patricky Pitbull at Bellator x Rizin 2 on July 29th--in another non-title fight, naturally--and took the first definitive beating of his career, getting utterly outclassed and ultimately stopped on leg kicks in three rounds. Rizin Featherweight Champion, 145 lbs   Chihiro Suzuki - 12-3 (1), 0 DefensesChihiro Suzuki has had a very fortunate year. Suzuki rose to Rizin's notice not through MMA, but after winning Japan's KNOCK OUT Super Lightweight Kickboxing championship. He made his Rizin debut six months later--and got knocked out in twenty seconds. He spent the next two and a half years simultaneously rounding out his MMA game and annually defending his kickboxing gold, and by 2023, he was one of Rizin's top Featherweight contenders, more than ready for his shot at Kleber Koike Erbst's Rizin championship. And--he got armbarred in three minutes. However, hilariously enough, Erbst lost his belt on the scale after missing weight, meaning the title was vacant and the fight, by Rizin rules, was a No Contest, so Suzuki didn't even technically lose. He then proceeded to get the biggest break of his career. At Bellator x Rizin 2 on July 30th, 2023, despite having just lost a five-round fight to Sergio Pettis a month prior, Patrício Pitbull was thrown onto the card against Suzuki on four days' notice--and Suzuki not only beat him, he became the first person to ever knock out Bellator's GOAT. Rizin immediately booked Suzuki in against new champion Vugar Keramov for their debut in Keramov's home country of Azerbaijan, and Keramov looked poised and powerful and was in the process of ragdolling Suzuki like he does everyone else--and Suzuki caught him with an upkick on the jaw and punched him the rest of the way out from his goddamn back. Chihiro Suzuki, you are Rizin's new star. Hold onto it as long as you can and pray they don't book a Kleber rematch. Rizin Bantamweight Champion, 135 lbs  Juan Archuleta - 29-4, 0 DefensesRizin has its first-ever American champion, and it happens to be a fighter with their partner and rival, Bellator. Seven months after Kyoji Horiguchi vacated it--and almost three years since its last defense--the vacant bantamweight throne was finally filled. Rizin had hoped to have Kai Asakura fight for the belt (do you notice a pattern, here?) agaisnt Archuleta at Bellator x Rizin 2, but Kai busted his knee in training and Rizin's 2021 Bantamweight Grand Prix Champion, Hiromasa Ougikubo, stepped in. And he was promptly ground down into dust by Archuleta's wrestling game. A lot of Rizin fans took to social media to register their displeasure at Archuleta's victory--I saw him called artless and passionless and a pox on the spirit of fighting--to which I say, my friends, I was there when the truest expression of mixed martial arts was a Gracie holding someone in full guard while hitting them in the ribs with their heel for forty-five minutes. If you don't LIKE wrestling, that's perfectly fine, but if you think teeth-grittingly long grappling exhibitions without a climax are counter to the spirit of mixed martial arts, you have never truly understood it. Juan Archuleta finished his celebration by yelling at Kai Asakura to get his poo poo together and find him, and I'd be shocked if Archuleta/Asakura wasn't the main event of Rizin's New Year's Eve special this year. Rizin Women's Super Atomweight Championship, 108 lbs  Seika Izawa - 11-0, 1 DefenseAll hail the new queen. After years of reigning as Japan's best atomweight, the legendary Ayaka Hamasaki fell not once but twice to the rookie Seika Izawa. A 24 year-old who was pushed into judo as a child by a frustrated mother who was tired of her constant fighting with her brothers, Izawa discovered a love for grappling that led her to win junior championships in judo, wrestling and sumo alike. She would still be pursuing judo had the pandemic not shut down much of its competitive scene, but fortunately, mixed martial arts is a terrible sport run by monsters who don't care about things like deadly diseases, which made it a tempting professional prospect. Four months after her formal MMA training began Izawa was winning fights in DEEP, less than a year after that she was DEEP's strawweight champion, and one year later she was dominating one of the best women's fighters in history on Rizin's New Year's Eve special. As Japanese organizations tend to do, frustratingly, the fight was a non-title affair, meaning Izawa had to come back and do it again on April 17. After a scary moment where Hamasaki almost stole an armbar, Izawa resumed her wrestling domination and formally took Rizin's atomweight championship. As entirely fresh blood, the world of Rizin's talent is open to her--but that also means she's got a real, real big target on her back. Rizin's Superatomweight Grand Prix was both a big coming-out party for Izawa and a series of opportunities to look shockingly mortal: She had a fair bit of trouble with Anastasiya Svetkivska in the semifinals before ultimately submitting her, but her berth in the finals against former rival Si Woo Park proved the toughest fight of her career, ending in a split decision victory she easily could have lost. Seika was supposed to face Miyuu Yamamoto at Rizin 42, but after Yamamoto had to pull out with an injury, Izawa was instead scheduled to face...the last person Yamamoto beat, the 5-3 Suwanan Boonsorn, at DEEP Jewels 41 on July 28. Izawa choked her out, shockingly. It took more than an entire year, but Izawa finally had a title defense against the 8-4 grappler Claire Lopez, and Izawa scored the fastest championship victory in Rizin history, choking her out in just barely one minute.
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Dec 1, 2023 18:59
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4048605 GDT for Dariush/Tsarukyan is up. Let's start finishing the year.
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Dec 2, 2023 21:36
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 84: MISSED CONNECTIONS SATURDAY, DECEMBER 9 FROM THE VIOLENT DARKNESS OF THE UFC APEX PRELIMS 4 PM PST / 7 PM EST | MAIN CARD 7 PM / 10 PM I was going to make a fake comedy poster about how unfinished and screwed up this card was, and then I saw the real poster and realized they'd already done it for me. Remember how excited I was for last week's card? Remember how fantastic it turned out to be (aside from Kerry Hatley trying to get a man killed)? Remember how great mixed martial arts can be when the matchmakers and fighters are both firing on all cylinders? That was great. This is less great. A couple months ago the UFC announced it was heading back to Shanghai for the first time since 2017, and it put together a card with a focus on regional talent and the end of this year's Road to UFC tournament and if this sounds kind of weak to you, you're right! And they knew it, because once Petr Yan dropped out of the main event they canned it at the last minute, cancelled half the card, moved it to the Apex and hastily reassembled it. The best theory I've heard is the UFC had planned for Zhang Weili vs Yan Xiaonan when they booked Shanghai. That would have been nice. I like Song Yadong! I like Chris Gutierrez! But going from Beneil Dariush vs Arman Tsarukyan to Song Yadong vs Chris Gutierrez feels like switching channels to watch the PFL, and by god, we're supposed to be safe from the PFL until next year. But it's December, and we've only got two events left, and next week is probably starting with the angriest essay I've written this year, so let's enjoy it while we can.  the subtle sound of window blowing can be heard MAIN EVENT: HOLDING THE LADDER  BANTAMWEIGHT: Song Yadong (20-7-1 (1), #7) vs Chris Gutierrez (20-4-2, #14)There are two parallel stories about just how difficult it is to climb the rankings at 135 pounds at work in this fight, and there are a surprising number of parallels between them. They only started a year apart! They both had breakout performances by obliterating a past-his-prime champion who should have retired! They both had their momentum halted after unfortunate draws to entirely separate men named Cody! But these stories are taking place at two very different spectrums of competition, and thanks to the necessities of regional matchmaking--and most of the top ten being unavailable--we have to tie them together. Seriously, though, look at the rest of the Bantamweight top ten right now. It's an insanely talent-rich division, but gently caress, it's kind of a mess.
And, y'know, getting paid is nice. If anything, this is entirely in character. Nothing about Song's time in the UFC has been easy. Every bit of momentum he's gained since his 2017 debut has been repeatedly, irritatingly, stopped. He entered the UFC and rifled off a four-fight win streak, then got ground to a halting draw by Cody Stamann. He beat Marlon Vera, but found himself on the wrong side of a close decision to Kyler Phillips, who would be a contender himself if he could keep multiple fights in a single year. Knock out Marlon Moraes! Lose to Cory Sandhagen. But boy, what a loss it was. Sandhagen is one of the absolute best in the division, a monster who arguably should have gotten a shot at the champion two years ago and is one fight removed from completely dominating the guy getting the next title shot, and Song gave him one of the toughest fights of his life. They were tied on 2/3 of the scorecards going into the final round, and Song had to be saved from coming out to fight that round because his eyebrow was hanging off of his goddamn skull, which, of course, had no impact whatsoever on his desire to go punch a man in the face. That's Song Yadong. His boxing is incredibly dangerous, his toughness is off the charts, and he's perpetually just one great performance away from reminding people he could be a champion. Chris Gutierrez hasn't made it that far yet. But, boy, it's not for lack of trying. "El Guapo" didn't have the fast start Song did. He hopped into the UFC at the end of 2018 and, as a sign of things to come, his debut was heralded by Raoni Barcelos handing him the first and, thus far, only stoppage loss of his career, beating him bloody and choking him out in two rounds as the opening bout of the finals for The Ultimate Fighter 28 (jesus christ). Even in losing, Gutierrez demonstrated just how tough he was: When Raoni Barcelos hits you 60 times in one round and you don't fall over dead, even if you lose, that's a hell of a statement. But it would take four more years for anyone to really give that statement the attention it deserved. Almost no one saw him kick Vince Morales' legs apart or get ground to a draw by his own Cody (this time, it was Durden). Chris Gutierrez didn't even get off the prelims--and not the sexy, well-advertised prelims, but the early prelims only the MMA equivalent of theater kids bother to watch--until late 2021, and even that only happened because the card was so badly gutted by injuries that just nine fights made it to air, so he was right the gently caress back to prelims immediately after. But the UFC had noticed his stiff leg kicks and his tough chin and, fortuitously, his very highlight-reel-marketable spinning backfist knockout of Danaa Bategerel, and they decided it was time to get him noticed. Of all the people in the division, of all the fights they could have made, former 155-pound champion and legend of the sport Frankie Edgar, a visibly compromised fighter who thoroughly should not have been fighting anymore, got Chris Gutierrez for his retirement bout in November of 2022. I echoed the sentiment of more or less the entire mixed martial arts fanbase about it: CarlCX posted:Bantamweight is one of the biggest shark tanks in the UFC; going 6-1-1 is in no way easy, and Gutierrez is in no way undeserving of laurels. He's fast, he's tough and he's incredibly scrappy; his leg kicking game is both quick and debilitating, his counter-grappling saves him from a lot of bad positions and his chin has yet to fail him. And then he immediately got controlled for three rounds by Pedro Munhoz and dropped right back out of contendership. Whoops. Both of these men are a fight removed from their losses--Gutierrez took a dominant decision over Alatengheili, Song knocked out the irrepressible Ricky Simón--and this isn't the fight it was supposed to be, but in its place, it's become a statement fight. Song was hoping to stake a claim to a title fight clear, but instead he's defending his place as a contender; Gutierrez, having flirted with relevance, is making the case that the Munhoz fight was a speedbump and he belongs at the top of the division. They both hit hard, they both recover fast, and they both deeply want to be the first to (truly) knock the other out in the UFC. SONG YADONG BY DECISION. I'm a big fan of Gutierrez and his kicking game, but the Munhoz fight showed how open to counters he is, and Song's laser beam of a cross feels like bad news. Will he get Gutierrez out of there? I doubt it. Will he outstrike him and keep him too honest with counterpunching to sit down on his leg kicks? I believe so. CO-MAIN EVENT: ANGERED BY THE MERE EXISTENCE OF LEGS LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Anthony Smith (37-18, #8) vs Khalil Rountree Jr. (12-5 (1), #11) What were we just saying about weight classes in trouble? I pick on Light Heavyweight so often that I feel some level of guilt about it. It's trying, man. They're trying! It's not the fault of the 205-pound fighters of the world that their division has been re-enacting the Sideshow Bob Steps On Rakes gag for the last eight years. Three stripped belts, four belt vacations, an ignominious title draw, and now the champion is a Middleweight whose first act as champion was calling out another Middleweight, the top contender just got arrested and Anthony Smith is fighting a man who doesn't want him to have functional knees. And it wouldn't even be the first body part Smith has lost on his troubled path back to contendership, and I have to imagine that makes it even more irritating that people keep asking him when he's going to retire. This sport isn't kind. It puts mileage on your body like few others. When you start accruing real noticeable damage, especially when that damage demonstrates how far away from contendership you really are, it makes fans uncomfortable. Few moments in mixed martial arts have been a more acute or more visibly uncomfortable example than Anthony Smith handing referee Jason Herzog his own knocked-out teeth for safekeeping in the middle of being mauled by Glover Teixeira. And that was three and a half years ago. Smith's record since then is 4-3, but boy, it's not much better. He beat the now 14-8 Devin Clark, he got an injury stoppage over the now semi-retired Jimmy Crute, and he beat Ryan Spann--and then, having earned another chance at contendership, he got horrifyingly beaten out of it again, first pounded silly by Magomed Ankalaev and then kicked out of walking right by Johnny Walker. The UFC tested him by having him fight Ryan Spann again, and having easily defeated Spann just under two years ago, this time, Smith just barely scraped by with a split decision. It's rough. It's rough when a former top contender seems like they're done and they don't want to be done. It's particularly rough when they start taking last-minute fights where they could get their limbs broken off. This was not, in fact, Anthony Smith's fight. It was Khalil Rountree Jr.'s. Rountree, who is currently riding his best UFC winning streak in eight years of trying, was supposed to fight the undefeated, #12-ranked Azamat Murzakanov in a big, fun striking battle. But pneumonia took Murzakanov out of the running, and on two weeks' notice, Rountree got Anthony Smith instead. In some ways, it's a blessing. Rountree's been a good soldier for the UFC. Three of his last four fights have involved great, highlight-reel knockouts, from stomping out Modestas Bukauskas' kneecap to kicking Karl Roberson's abdomen in half to punching out a truly inexplicably matched-up Chris Daukaus in one round. He fights whoever they put in front of him and, more often than not, he violently knocks them out. But you can only defend your position so many times. Rountree has found himself continually fighting backwards. Even his last two fights were examples. He beat Dustin Jacoby, got himself into the top fifteen, and immediately defended that spot against the unranked Daukaus. Even Murzakanov would have been, divisionally, a step backwards. Anthony Smith is Khalil Rountree's chance at the top ten. It's his chance to prove his historic issues with stronger wrestlers are behind him. It is his chance to knock out someone Jon Jones took to a decision. I would like to say that this is a difficult fight, and honestly, it should be. It takes a loving pounding to keep Anthony Smith down, and his grappling is, somehow, still underrated in the annals of the division. He's still got a solid jab, he's still got a tricky trip game within the clinch, and he's still tough as hell. But the word "still" keeps coming up because, objectively, talking about Anthony Smith's status as a fighter means talking about how visibly diminished he seems to be. For a man who went five rounds with Jon Jones back in the not-that-long-ago of 2019, he struggled to make it to the end of three with Johnny Walker and Ryan Spann. It's hard to watch Smith fight and not get the feeling his actual opponent is time. But even in a kinder time period, this would still be a tough ask for him. Smith loves to open up his offense with jabs and leg kicks; Rountree's got much faster, harder kicks and counters dangerous enough to drop world-class kickboxers like Gökhan Saki. Smith was never a particularly fast fighter; he relied on his chin and his recovery instead. Those haven't been there for him in awhile, and I cannot help feeling this is the fight where they finally let him down entirely. KHALIL ROUNTREE JR. BY TKO. MAIN CARD: IRON TURTLE ARMY FLYWEIGHT: Sumudaerji (16-5, #12) vs Sumudaerji just cannot get past his own schedule. The last time we saw the great Tibetan sheepherder--just to be clear, that's not an MMA commentator racist stereotyping thing, Sumudaerji is literally a shepherd from Tibet--it was in preparation for a showdown with the top-ten ranked Matt Schnell, and I talked about what a shame it was that Sumudaerji, an incredibly tough, talented Flyweight, is buried in the sport's consciousness by his inability to fight more than once a year. That fight was, of course, in July of 2022. And it loving ruled! It was a fight-of-the-year candidate despite only being two rounds long, and it made both men look ridiculously good. But Schnell won. So, once again, Sumudaerji is back for his annual appearance to defend the ranking he still has despite having one fight, which he lost, in the last 34 months. Again: I love watching Sumudaerji. His leg kicks are murderous and his cross is vicious and he's so thoroughly unshakable as a fighter that nothing anyone does surprises him. But his inactivity--even when it's Manel Kape failing a drug test--hurts him. Fun fact: Originally, these were the next two sentences of this writeup. quote:The Allan Nascimento story isn't much different, unfortunately. His ratio is a bit better, but thanks to injuries and happenstance and bad loving timing, "Puro Osso" himself has also only been managing one appearance a year. This fight will be the first time in his UFC career Nascimento has managed to break this streak. On paper, I even favor his chances. He IS a good wrestler, he DOES take down everyone he fights, and, logically, it makes absolute sense for him to drag Sumudaerji through grappling Hell here. But, uh. SUMUDAERJI BY TKO. Sumudaerji isn't going to outgrapple Tim Elliott, and if Elliott winds up on top of him or at least on top of his neck he needs to be very, very concerned, and honestly, Elliott's only been knocked out once in his career and it was a decade and a half ago, so I'm not even sure what I'm doing, here. But Elliott seeming to slow down a little in his last couple fights, and the looseness of his standup, and the extreme short notice with which he signed up for this all give me Bad Feelings about this fight. LIGHTWEIGHT: Nasrat Haqparast (15-5) vs Jamie Mullarkey (17-6) Believe it or not, this fight has been in the works for an entire year. At the start of 2021 Nasrat was considered a potential top ten fighter at the shark tank of Lightweight; at the start of 2022 he was an afterthought. Nasrat's orthodox boxing and straightforward offense had gotten him attention and consideration, but getting completely dominated in consecutive fights by Dan Hooker and Bobby Green slammed the door on his ranked aspirations. A turnaround against the ever-faithful John Makdessi gave Nasrat the momentum to get booked against Jamie Mullarkey at the end of 2022; the booking lasted about a week. Haqparast wound up on the shelf for an entire year between fights. He had a great back-and-forth bout with Landon Quińones this past September and ultimately won a decision, but, as much as I like Landon Quińones, he's not going to get you back to your ranking. Jamie Mullarkey is, but, respectfully, it's less about his victories than his style. Mullarkey has become a fan favorite for his tendency to have fun, wild fights, but the thing about having fun, wild fights is you generally lose a bunch of them. Mullarkey is great, and he's got a dedicated fanbase, and the UFC books him good and high as a result of it. He's also 5-4 in the company. Mullarkey's established himself as must-see TV, but half of that seeing involves seeing him get the crap beaten out of him. It's hard to talk about getting by the John Makdessis and Devonte Smiths of the world but being crushed by Jalin Turner and Fares Ziam without bringing up the dread curse of the Gatekeeper, but, however disrespectful the connotations can feel, it sure does seem to fit. Mullarkey's fun and more well-rounded than he gets credit for, but he's going on five years in the UFC and he has yet to make himself a threat to the division. He's probably not going to do it here, either. Mullarkey's best performances come against people he can keep uncomfortable by falling back on his wrestling; Haqparast is real, real tough to take down, and his sharp boxing is problematic for a guy as hittable as Mullarkey. NASRAT HAQPARAST BY DECISION. MIDDLEWEIGHT: André Muniz (23-6) vs Jun Yong Park (17-5) I gotta be honest: I'm having a tough time with this one. At the outset of this year I was all aboard the André Muniz hype train. He broke Jacaré's arm! He saved us from two and a half unnecessary rounds of Eryk Anders! His grappling was legit as hell and his striking, particularly his kicks, were stiff and unpleasant, and I felt real, real confident he was going to beat Brendan Allen and establish himself as a Middleweight contender. And, uh, he sure didn't. He lost every round and got choked out. But, hey: It's Brendan Allen! Brendan Allen is a fantastic fighter who does that to an awful lot of people, even black belts. It's not like Muniz got wrecked on the ground by Paul Craig or som--what's that? His next fight, you say? Thank you for ruining the five months I've spent pretending that fight didn't happen, Me. So what do you do when you get beaten bloody by the ground-and-pound offense of Paul Craig? Why, you fight Jun Yong loving Park, of course. I picked against Park when he fought Eryk Anders. I picked against Park when he fought Joseph Holmes. I picked against Park when he fought Albert Duraev. My friend, fellow writer and beloved internet MMA celebrity LobsterMobster/LegKickTKO/CHUNGUS SUPREME has reminded me, every time, that I am a sinner and a fool for not believing in the Iron Turtle, and I have persistently ignored her warnings, certain that this time, this time, his opponent's attributes are just too much. And I am wrong. I ignore Park's ridiculous clinch game and his horrifyingly persistent attacks in the pocket and his brutal ground and pound and I am just loving wrong. And now I have to choose between the guy I thought would be fighting for the title by now and the guy I have continuously thought nothing of. And I must, at last, admit defeat. JUN YONG PARK BY TKO. Bury me softly, Turtle-brother. PRELIMS: BIG PEOPLE UNWELCOME WELTERWEIGHT: Song Kenan (21-7) vs Kevin Jousset (9-2) The same shakeup that scratched Allan Nascimento also put this fight back on the prelims after I'd already given it the main-card treatment, so enjoy this special edition double-size prelim writeup. Sometimes we fly so close to the sun it burns. Song Kenan had a good run as a borderline top fifteen Welterweight, thanks in no small part to his ability to break someone's skull by lightly flicking it with his fingertips, but after Max Griffin knocked him out in 2021 he fell off the face of the Earth. After two years of hiatus, the UFC very casually, subtly ordered Song back after 24 months on the couch to put over their favorite new Irishman, Ian Machado Garry. And Song almost saved us from some of the most grating pre-fight banter in years when he caught Garry overcommitting and sent him face-first to the mat with a huge left hook. Unfortunately: It was only almost. Garry rallied and knocked Kenan out in the third. Song's stayed off the shelf this time, though: He came back this Summer and outboxed Rolando Bedoya, and now he's trying to make it three in a year just to make up for all that lost time. Kevin Jousset is a much newer quantity. The French-Australian fighter only made his UFC debut this past September as a hasty local-attraction addition to the Adesanya/Strickland card that personally poisoned the entire world's rainwater supply for the next three centuries. Jousset was there to welcome Kiefer Crosbie to the octagon, and I had started to write "the inexplicably hyped Kiefer Crosbie" before realizing with a deep sense of internal disappointment in our entire sport that "is Irish" is enough reason for anyone to get hyped right now. Crosbie made it very clear that he intended to knock Jousset out; Jousset made it very clear that he has a second-degree black belt in judo by pretty easily ragdolling Crosbie out of the clinch and choking him out within seconds. I like Jousset's style, I'm a big fan of effective judo in MMA, and I look forward to seeing him fight again after Song Kenan punches him out. Jousset did get hit in the head 20 times in four minutes against Crosbie, and Song hits an awful lot harder, especially when people are trying to get into the clinch. SONG KENAN BY TKO. FLYWEIGHT: Hyun Sung Park (8-0) vs Shannon Ross (13-8) Remember midway through last year, when the UFC actually briefly perceived ONE as a threat and ran the Road to UFC tournament to scout talent out of the Asian scene? Those winners are 50/50 so far. Bantamweight champ Rinya Nakamura ran a clinic on Fernie Garcia this Summer, but Lightweight champ Anshul Jubli got himself comically hosed up by Mike Breeden for Halloween. Hyun Sung Park, our Flyweight winner, is next up on the proving ground. He won his bracket in style, either punching or choking out all three of his opponents, and the UFC would clearly like to give him another chance at a fun finish, because, objectively, that's what Shannon Ross has been doing. "The Turkish Delight" might be the biggest hard-luck case in the UFC right now. He got on the Contender Series, got knocked out by Vinicius Salvador, then almost died the next day after he went septic when it turned out he'd fought with a ruptured appendix. The UFC threw a contract at him in what was definitely a deep-seated appreciation for his warrior spirit and most definitely not an attempt to keep him from thinking about suing. Six months later, Ross made his UFC debut! And got knocked out in one minute. And then, five months later, he made his big comeback! And got knocked out in seventeen seconds. I appreciate Shannon Ross. Part of it is admiring his persistence, part of it is enjoying his fighting style, and honestly, part of it is solidarity as someone else who almost died of sepsis because he didn't know his appendix had exploded. But he sure does get hosed up a lot. He tends to let his opponents dictate the pace and position of fights, and that gets him cracked upside the head, and I'm afraid it's going to happen again. HYUN SUNG PARK BY SUBMISSION. LIGHTWEIGHT: Steve Garcia (14-5) vs Melquizael Costa (20-6)This is actually a rebooking of a fight that was meant to happen at last week's Dariush vs Tsarukyan, but a last-minute illness kept Garcia off that particular violence festival. Both guys fight at Featherweight but this is at 155, presumably so they don't have to cut weight twice in a week, but everything is otherwise the same, so enjoy my thoughts from last week: CarlCX posted:Steve Garcia is trying as hard as he can. "Mean Machine" jumped into the UFC as a late replacement back in February of 2020--after having just knocked out current UFC prospect Chepe Mariscal barely a month earlier--and, like most late replacement contract fighters, he quickly went 1-2 and seemed like he was probably done. And then he knocked the gently caress out of UFC child soldier Chase Hooper in ninety seconds. At something of a loss, the UFC put him up against rising international star Shayilan Nuerdanbieke, and once again, Garcia obliged by nuking Shayilan in two rounds with body shots. Having recorded two fantastic, devastating knockout victories in a row that were unfortunately buried midway through the prelims, Steve Garcia is, uh, once again buried midway through the prelims. This time his dance partner is Melquizael "Melk" Costa, a fellow short-notice replacement fighter who's currently midway through his I-belong-here redemption tour. He lost his debut fight against Thiago Moisés, which is pretty understandable as Moisés is an absolute motherfucker to fight even with a full camp, but he made up for it by shutting out the ever-tough Austin Lingo in his sophomore appearance. WOMEN'S BANTAMWEIGHT: Stephanie Egger (8-4) vs Luana Santos (6-1) Stephanie Egger is a fighter in search of a position. She came into the UFC as a grappler notable enough to have gone the distance with Gabi Garcia despite giving up an entire person's worth in mass, but in her debut she was immediately outgrappled by Tracy Cortez. She rallied and scraped some of that credibility back in her subsequent performances, but that, too, got washed away by controversy in her big, weird fight with Mayra Bueno Silva when an armbar she said she didn't submit to was confirmed not by video footage or a visible replay, but by the solemn word of judge Ron McCarthy, who swore he saw it, which was enough. (Ron McCarthy would go on to score Paddy Pimblett as the winner against Jared Gordon later that year.) She choked out a way-too-cocky Ailin Perez in her next fight, but her role as a prospect spoiler fell apart immediately when Irina "Russian Ronda" Alekseeva kneebarred her in two minutes. So her grappling is just good enough to make her a threat, but just touchy enough to be a liability against stronger, crisper grapplers. If you're thinking that makes her a measuring stick--congratulations, you have absorbed enough mixed martial arts to become a cynic. Luana Santos, or, to be precise, Luana do Valle Lopes Gonzales Santos, which I really wish she got to use instead, is a prospect in need of measuring. She's 6-1, but she's only fought one person with more than three wins. (For the record: It was four.) Her UFC debut was a real fun first-round knockout, but the woman she knocked out was The Ultimate Fighter 30 (jesus christ) winner Juliana Miller, who, and as an inexplicably large Juliana Miller fan this pains me to say, is a 3-3 fighter who does not really seem to fully yet know what to do with her hands. We know Luana can punch people out, and we know from her appearances in the Legacy Fighting Alliance that she'll crank a motherfucker's head off if given a chance, but we haven't yet seen her tested. So, congratulations, Stephanie. You're the test. I'm sorry. LUANA SANTOS BY SUBMISSION. I don't think she's going to get outgrappled; I do think she's going to get stunned and choked out before she can recover. FLYWEIGHT: Tatsuro Taira (14-0) vs Carlos Hernandez (9-2) I was so happy last July when Tatsuro Taira finally got out of the curtain-jerking slots. Taira is, seemingly, the real deal: A young, tough, talented grappler with a secretly dangerous cross in his back pocket and an incredibly tricky submission game. And he was already 3-0 in the UFC, and by god, that meant it was more than time for him to get a highlighted spot, which he dutifully used to beat the always-tough Edgar Cháirez. Which is why, as a borderline-ranked Flyweight on a four-fight winning streak, Tatsuro Taira is...back to being second from the bottom on the card, in a fight almost no one will watch, against a 2-1 guy, and I will never understand. At risk of being disrespectful to Carlos Hernandez, his time in the spotlight is notable mostly for how loving weird it's been. He got on the Contender Series, almost got repeatedly finished, and still won a split decision. He got into the UFC, had a wildly sloppy fight with Victor Altamirano, and won a 50/50 coinflip with another split decision. He got choked out by our old buddy Allan Nascimento, came back five months later, and won a technical decision over Denys Bondar after knocking him out with a mid-takedown headbutt one second before the fight was actually going to end. His entire tenure is an experiment in chaos theory. None of which makes him not the kind of scrambly grappler that could give Taira fits if he's not careful. We have seen Taira almost get caught by guillotines in his fights with Vergara and Cháirez, and if you roll the dice on those chokes often enough, you are, eventually, going to lose. This is probably not the night, though. TATSURO TAIRA BY SUBMISSION. WOMEN'S STRAWWEIGHT: Rayanne dos Santos (14-6) vs Talita Alencar (4-0-1) This is a battle of women wronged by the Contender Series. Rayanne dos Santos--although it looks like the UFC's going to bill her as Rayanne Amanda, so I guess we'll see what comes up on the chyron--lost her shot at the UFC back in 2022, when her Contender Series appearance led to a loss against Denise Gomes. This wound up being fortunate for Rayanne: Instead of the UFC, she went off to Invicta and, within two fights, became the #1 Atomweight fighter in America after beating up Jillian DeCoursey. Of course, the UFC doesn't have an Atomweight division, because they want me, personally, to suffer, so they poached Rayanne and put her right back at 115. Talita Alencar is a genuinely accomplished grappler with multiple no-gi world championships, but most of her attention came from the bizarre circumstances of her signing. Her Contender Series shot came this past September, and she got off to an early lead against Stephanie Luciano, but Luciano rallied and ultimately fought Alencar to a draw. In reflection of their clearly equal performances, the UFC...told Alencar to go the gently caress home and just signed Luciano. And now it's three months later, and Talita Alencar got hurriedly signed after all because the UFC needed a warm body to fill out this card, and Stephanie Luciano is nowhere to be found. I have started to feel some level of self-consciousness over how frequently I complain about the Contender Series after two straight years of endless bitching, but in my defense, the Contender Series is a loving plague on the very concept of mixed martial arts and if it could achieve sentience and reach through the internet it would strangle us all for being complicit in its tortured existence. Also Talita's grappling is fantastic but RAYANNE DOS SANTOS BY DECISION when Talita can't get her down and spends three rounds getting slugged in the face.
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Dec 6, 2023 21:00
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This sport is so loving stupid and Michael Chandler is an enormous rube. Also, GDT for Song/Gutierrez is up. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4049160
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Dec 10, 2023 00:59
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Alright, let's end this year in style. Angry, angry style. CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 85: FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE  SATURDAY, DECEMBER 16 FROM THE T-MOBILE ARENA IN LAS VEGAS, NEVADA EARLY PRELIMS 3 PM PST / 6 PM EST | PRELIMS 5 PM / 8 PM | MAIN CARD 7 PM / 10 PM There are some years that make it tough to love mixed martial arts, and boy, 2023 is pretty hard to beat. Where do you even start? Is it the end of Robbie Lawler and Chan Sung Jung, or the life, death, and revenant undeath of Power Slap? The disgraceful release of Francis Ngannou and the subsequent disappointment of Jon Jones? A championship year defined as much by the rise of the two Seans as multiple last-minute thrown-together title fights? Watching the Contender Series slowly take over the UFC's roster while an antitrust lawsuit makes its fighter abuse public knowledge? The UFC and WWE becoming a single corporate entity over the background of the inevitable heat death of Bellator? Is it the UFC's dogged insistence on propagandizing for Ron DeSantis and Donald Trump, or Dana White assaulting his wife on camera and facing no consequences whatsoever? Or the worst parts of our combat sports community disgracing themselves over the death of Victoria Lee? I would like to follow that up by discussing duality, and the contrast of terrible moments and wonderful ones, and how all of the worst parts of combat sports in 2023 highlight its best parts, and how staying positive keeps the dark away. Unfortunately, this card has Tony Ferguson vs Paddy Pimblett and Leon Edwards vs Colby Covington on it, so today, we are gathered here only to burn. But we burn together, here, at the end of the year, and if your love for this sport survived 2023 then cast a torch into the bonfire, warm your hands, and, by god, take comfort in knowing that love can survive anything.  for old time's sake, wikipedia MAIN EVENT: I DON'T NEED YOUR TROPHIES OR YOUR GOLD / I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU ALL / GO gently caress YOURSELVES WELTERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Leon Edwards (21-3 (1), Champion) vs Colby Covington (17-3, #3) One of my biggest pet peeves in the world of internet commentary--of critique in general, honestly--is overwrought anger. The sort of frothing-at-the-mouth insensible rage people seem to generate over things like a story not going the way they wanted, or a movie studio casting a black person, or a video game having a pronoun selector. The way people manage such blood-boiling fury over a hobby that all they can do is yell and swear and gnash their teeth has baffled me for my entire life. Which means, today, I have finally reached adulthood, or finally grown into true hypocrisy, or, in all likelihood, both. Because this fight loving sucks. This is dog-rear end bullshit. As baffled as I am by internet rage, I'm equally baffled by the way the mixed martial arts community tends to sigh and shrug and agree to take things seriously when they're presented as a main event out of some sense of helpless necessity. It is, if anything, even more important to point out how infuriatingly cynical and terrible the company's decisions are when they put them out in the spotlight. In a year of absolute nonsense from the UFC, this is top-tier, pure-strain clothes-inside-out knees-bending-the-wrong-way violence. This fight is an evolutionary dead end. It took Leon Edwards eleven fights and six undefeated years to get a shot at the Welterweight championship. After shocking the world by knocking Kamaru Usman dead with a headkick in the summer of 2022, Edwards was, understandably, ordered to fight an immediate rematch with the long-reigning former champion. He shut Usman down for four out of five rounds and won again, which is, quite frankly, amazing, but the entire fight was overshadowed by the weigh-in-day revelation that the UFC had tapped Colby Covington as the emergency replacement fill-in fighter if either man had failed to make it to the show, and that Colby was locked in as Leon's next challenger. Leon called the fight out for exactly the kind of awful, disrespectful, division-defying booking it was and swore he wouldn't take the fight. And, well, here we are. There are three basic schools of thought when it comes to combat sports matchmaking. In one, you're matching the best, most proven fighters in a division against their peers; in another, you're prioritizing the fighters you think are the best even if their position doesn't necessarily show it; in the last, you're booking the fights that will make the most money and gently caress everything else. Evaluating this fight as an example of two of the best, most-proven fighters in their division, here, presented unabridged, are the names of all of the fighters in the Welterweight top fifteen Colby Covington has defeated:
Okay! We can shut the door on the first path. How about the second? Position aside, are these the two best 170-pound fighters the UFC has to offer? 'Best' can be a subjective term. Luckily, the human brain has gifted us with the power of comparative analysis. In this case, over his last four fights, Colby Covington got his poo poo completely wrecked by then-champion Kamaru Usman twice. The first time around was actually more competitive right up until it ended with Colby getting knocked out in the fifth round with a broken jaw leaking blood all over the floor; the second was just your garden-variety decision loss. Colby being competitive with Kamaru Usman is the thing cited as proof he belongs in contention, but Colby is, objectively, a worse fighter than Kamaru Usman, the #1-ranked Welterweight in the UFC. Who Leon Edwards just shithoused twice in a row. So, definitionally, no, this is not a fight between the two best guys in the UFC. Of course, there's no point in making a fight between Leon and the #1 guy, because he just beat him repeatedly in consecutive match-ups. It would be aggressively stupid to book a third when Usman hasn't done something definitive to earn it. Which is when you say: Hey, wait, if Kamaru Usman is #1, and Colby Covington is #3, who's #2, and why isn't he here instead? #2 is, of course, Belal Muhammad, who is--tell me if this sounds familiar--unbeaten in his last ten fights over almost five years. When he knocked out the undefeated, top-ten-ranked Sean Brady in October of 2022, it was already considered ridiculous that he wasn't getting picked as the next 170-pound contender, and that was more than a loving year ago. The second-best available Welterweight isn't in the fight. So that leaves only the third possibility: Colby is the biggest draw, and the money he's going to bring in means everything else is moot. I got into an argument about this right after the announcement was made all the way back in March, and at the time, this is what I had to say: CarlCX posted:The problem with "Colby is the only draw" is it stops being a good argument when the UFC stops making draws. The UFC's welterweight top ten currently includes: All of the contenders are being made to cannibalize each other and none of them are being properly promoted. But, hey: They ARE contenders, and they ARE fighting each other, and the end result is the best fighters will be left standing. Which would be a comfort if Colby Covington weren't getting a title shot thanks to his championship-justifying victories over loving nobody. So you're left with the elephant in the room. Colby is a draw because he made himself a draw. He's identified himself with Donald Trump and the right wing so closely that it's become his entire overarching personality. He did a Trump photo-op at the White House. He walked to the cage with the Trump children. He's the ex-president's favorite fighter. However cynical, however terrible, he's a big deal. He's a multiple-time pay-per-view main eventer! The UFC markets him because he's a great return on investment! Colby's where the money is! Right? No! That's the worst loving part! Every time he's been in a pay-per-view main event his opponent has been wildly more popular than he is, and absolutely none of it has ever loving rubbed off. I want you to think about how few mixed martial artists effectively market themselves, I want you to think about how much even the slightest bit of self-advertisement tends to change the world for an athlete, and then I want you to think about the fact that Colby Covington got personally endorsed by the President of the United States of America, and what it got him was, roughly, 200,000 followers on Twitter, which is roughly 1/15th of a Jorge Masvidal Instagram. Videos on the UFC's YouTube channel that outrank the most popular Colby Covington appearance include Greg Hardy's Contender Series debut, the Let Me Bang Bro meme, the first episode of the almost-immediately-cancelled-for-low-ratings Power Slap show, and a ninety-second clip that's just Dana White doing pullups because someone on the MMA Underground forum said he couldn't. He's objectively not the top-ranked fighter in the division, he's objectively not the best fighter in the division, and there's a pretty good argument he's not even a proven draw. So why is Colby Covington here? Because Dana White has stated his belief on multiple occasions that Colby is the best Welterweight in the world not named Kamaru Usman, and that, had Usman not existed, Colby would have been the champion for the last five years. He's had many words about how Colby's cardio and his suffocating wrestling style and in-the-pocket punching are just so tenacious and unstoppable and they make him more than a match for anyone on the planet not named Kamaru Usman, and it is only right he gets his shot for being so skilled. This offer, of course, does not apply to Merab Dvalishvili. Colby Covington is here because the UFC wants him to be here. It's not a difficult concept. Once upon a time Colby nearly got fired for chasing Dana White around Las Vegas with a camera while threatening to put footage of his mistresses on social media, and now he's the top company guy. Is it their mutual love of Trump? Is it the out-and-out bigotry-as-marketing Colby has made the centerpiece of his career? Is it his place as the last white guy left standing in the top five? Or is it this thing that I'm doing here? After all, aren't you mad about Colby Covington? Doesn't all of the bullshit around this fight just amplify your ever-present desire to see him get his for being such a bad boy? It's all of it, of course. It's every bad reason the sport ever offers and absolutely none of the good ones. The act of booking it is, in itself, a sabotage, because rather than "Leon Edwards, the British Champion we've wanted for so long, the man who dethroned Kamaru Usman, is defending his title," the story of this fight is thoroughly dominated by "Wait, Colby Covington? Are you sure?" It's the most brutally cynical, bloodless thing the UFC could possibly do, and that, in itself, is all the more reason for them to do it. Colby Covington gets the title shot. Why? Because gently caress You, that's why. There's a certain sense of futility that drips into being a fan. Barring the success of the antitrust lawsuit or an abrupt meteor strike, there's nothing that's really going to change the UFC; its money doesn't even come from its own consumers anymore. Being angry winds up feeling somewhere between pointless and pathetic, because at best, it's anger at a thing that will never stop making you angry, and at worst, it's being successfully manipulated into being angry because that means, clearly, you're engaged. If you're mad, it means you lose and they win. But that's bullshit, too. You're always entitled to be mad, and if you still have enough in you to care about all of this, that's a blessing, not a curse. Can Colby beat Leon? Sure. Is there even a single neuron in my brain with the slightest twitch of an inclination to write about Colby's five-round clinch capacity or his uncanny ability to land 200+ strikes on someone while barely leaving marks on them and how they could lead him to victory? Not a one. Not if I got a thousand subscribers overnight. Bad fight, bad booking, bad egos, bad company. Pray the universe doesn't reward them for it. LEON EDWARDS BY DECISION or we're all having a really bad loving Christmas. CO-MAIN EVENT: IT'S A BRAND NEW DAY FLYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Alexandre Pantoja (26-5, Champion) vs Brandon Royval (15-6, #2)This fight, right here? This is a brave new world. This will be the first fight for the UFC Flyweight Championship not to involve either Deiveson Figueiredo, Brandon Moreno or, most commonly, both, in just five days shy of four years. It's a strange juxtaposition when placed against every other championship division in the same timeframe--thanks, oddly, to the UFC's lack of care for its 125-pound fighters, they just didn't have anyone else to push towards contendership and that meant there was nothing stopping the two best fighters from clashing with each other over and over and over. That championship hot potato game was extremely important to Alexandre Pantoja. For all of his grappling expertise and his deceptive knockout power and his oddly perfect hair, he'd been beaten, definitively, by Deiveson Figueiredo during his run-up to the title, and when you get shut out by a fighter it's real, real hard to talk the fanbase, let alone management, into giving you another crack at them. But Pantoja had beaten Brandon Moreno. Twice! Once on The Ultimate Fighter 24 (jesus christ) and again two years later in the UFC proper. If Moreno won, Pantoja was the absurdly necessary next man up. All he had to do was wait for the So, here's where we have to deal with the unfortunate part of this matchmaking: One of those three victories was Brandon Royval. Yeah! It's awkward. Moreso when you realize Brandon Moreno's initial shot at Figueiredo and the start of the great Flyweight championship war only happened after Moreno, uh, also beat Brandon Royval. Royval's timing--not as a fighter, but as a person who exists in the unfortunately temporal annals of fighting--has been his biggest problem. He's had some great moments, but they've all come just too early or just too late. He choked out former title challenger Tim Elliott! But he did it at the end of the worst losing streak in Elliott's career. He strangled future title challenger Kai Kara-France! But it was the last fight before the hot streak that made people actually pay attention to Kai as a contender. And all of the momentum Royval built up from beating those two legitimately tough men went right out the window when he broke his shoulder against Moreno, missed nine months of competition, came back the next year and promptly got rolled by Pantoja. At the time, no one knew those two were the next two world champions--it was just Brandon Royval getting hosed up twice. It didn't help matters when his comeback fight was an extremely close split decision victory over Rogério Bontorin, who, himself, was 0 for his last 3, had just gotten stuck with a No Contest for failing a drug test, and would be out of the UFC by the end of the year. With Flyweight already crowded as hell, between the championship battle and Alexandre Pantoja waiting in the wings and Kai Kara-France suddenly knocking people out and Manel Kape drawing attention by just constantly saying unhinged poo poo, the MMA world just didn't have much attention for Brandon Royval. So Royval got them back through the most time-tested of methods: Wild-eyed violence. "Raw Dawg" throws everything he has into desperately trying to finish everyone he fights, and while that can sometimes lead him to, say, getting swept and choked or blowing out his own shoulder from grappling too hard, it also lets him vault right back into contention on a pile of bodies. Matt Schnell had only been submitted once in his career: Royval choked him out in half a round. Matheus Nicolau hadn't lost a fight in five years: Royval knocked him out in two minutes. When you're a Flyweight, being able to stop people is a boon; when you're able to stop other contenders, it's a godsend. All of that being said, well. ALEXANDRE PANTOJA BY SUBMISSION. I'm a big fan of Royval and his style, but Pantoja taking him apart was just two years ago, and nothing either fighter has shown since then makes me question it happening again. Royval is still a wild man, and Pantoja is still an exceptional control fighter, and while Royval can end anyone's night if they make a mistake, Pantoja already showed a great capacity for disarming his best attempts and he's only looked better since. It should be great fun while it lasts, but unless Royval reinvents the way he approaches his offense, I don't see the math changing here. MAIN CARD: EARNING IT WELTERWEIGHT: Shavkat Rakhmonov (17-0, #5) vs Stephen Thompson (17-6-1, #6)I said my piece about this fight being politically and organizationally stupid, and I'm glad I got it out of the way, because this fight also loving rules. Shavkat Rakhmonov is the Welterweight the UFC wanted Khamzat Chimaev to be. He came in from Russia's M-1 in 2020, he hopped into the UFC against one of their toughest gatekeepers in Alex Oliveira, and he crushed him in one round. In his first three UFC bouts he averaged a knockdown for every twelve significant strikes he landed, which is absolutely absurd by the standards of Heavyweight, let alone 170 pounds. When he got his top fifteen fight with Neil Magny, it was supposed to be the first real, difficult test of his skills. Instead, Shavkat took him down, controlled him with ease, and choked him out more or less at will. His official top ten bout with Geoff Neal this past March was seen as more of a coronation than a fight--the betting odds were even more slanted towards Shavkat than they had been against Magny. Instead, the world got to see the toughest fight of his life. Geoff Neal has always been criminally underrated, and the absolute war he gave Shavkat is proof positive of it. But it made it even more impressive that, faced with real, genuine difficulty, Shavkat bloomed. He walked Neal down, he pushed through his punches, he broke his face, and he ultimately choked him out with the closest thing mixed martial arts gets to a 1980s pro-wrestling sleeper hold. It's not easy to blow people out of the water, but very few fighters who are accustomed to doing so can handle it when they have to struggle. Stephen Thompson, at this stage in his career, is extremely accustomed to struggle. Thompson is only two months away from hitting eleven years in the UFC, and he's been ranked for drat near the whole thing, and the UFC has sort of refused to forgive him for not fulfilling their marketing hopes and smashing Tyron Woodley back in 2016. Thompson got two straight shots at Woodley, which are now widely considered two of the worst title fights in UFC history, and both times, he failed. And the UFC put him on contender duty. He beat Jorge Masvidal, he beat Darren Till--though the judges disagreed, in one of the great classic examples of a home-cooking decision--and then, because this sport is silly above all else, Thompson promptly suffered the one and only stoppage loss of his career when, having survived multiple championship fights and scored victories over multiple world champions at Welterweight AND Middleweight, Thompson was knocked out cold by career Lightweight Anthony Pettis. And Thompson never really recovered his place as a top contender, and the UFC never let him forget it. He beat Vicente Luque and Geoff Neal; he lost to Gilbert Burns and Belal Muhammad, cursing him to the middle of the pack. He had to defend his #6 ranking against unranked company favorite Kevin Holland, and when he made Holland quit on his stool, the UFC rewarded Thompson by...booking him against the #15 ranked Michel Pereira. When Pereira failed to make weight and Thompson promptly cancelled the fight, Dana White hit the roof, trash-talked Thompson in public and denied him his contractually obligated show money. But they say he can have it if he, say, fights Shavkat Rakhmonov. In every great thing, some fury must fall. Even with the bullshit, this is a fantastic fight. Shavkat has already proven he's the real deal as far as contenders go, but he needs a big, visible fight against someone with championship experience to cement his claim to a shot at the belt. Stephen Thompson has been set back over and over in his attempts to get back to the top of the mountain, and after six and a half years of trying, this is his best chance. If Thompson can stay on his feet and keep Shavkat on the ends of his attacks like he has so many other people, he's got a real good chance of walking away with a renewed lease on contendership. That being said: I think he's on his back before the first round is over and out of there by the second. SHAVKAT RAKHMONOV BY SUBMISSION. LIGHTWEIGHT: Tony Ferguson (25-9) vs Paddy Pimblett (20-3) Remember what I said about cynical booking? This is the real downside of it. This fight is so openly, plainly, on-its-face craven in its marketing desires that even Paddy Pimblett, the centerpiece of the UFC's big neo-British invasion, admitted it was a no-win fight. If he loses, well, he loses; if he wins, he beats a beaten man. Tony Ferguson, at one point, was one of the UFC's most popular, most dangerous fighters, a butcher on a twelve-fight winning streak who left opponents looking like they'd been in a car crash. That point, unfortunately, was almost five years ago. The last time Tony Ferguson won a fight, Bushwick Bill was still alive. Since then, it's looked a lot more like this:  Tony Ferguson is a compromised fighter. This is not a controversial or even particularly disrespectful statement, at this point in his career. It was easy to ignore when it was world-class, championship-level fighters like Charles Oliveira and Justin Gaethje. When you're getting shut down by Nate Diaz and easily controlled on the ground by Bobby Green, something has been lost. There's a void where Tony's stability used to be. And that's the void the UFC wants to fit Paddy Pimblett into. I've said, repeatedly, that the problems with Paddy Pimblett have almost nothing to do with Paddy Pimblett and everything to do with the way the UFC markets Paddy Pimblett. This fight is, if anything, the point at which that marketing became self-aware. The mission to push Paddy up the ladder without putting him in a great deal of danger has been a tricky one--no real heavy hitters, no one who could potentially outgrapple him, no wrestlers--and at the end of 2022, in the real world, that experiment came to a close when the UFC served up what they thought was an easily winnable fight for Paddy against Jared Gordon, only for Gordon to outstrike, outgrapple and outwork Paddy to a wide decision. In the fake, terrible, everything-is-wrong-all-of-the-time world in which you and I live, Paddy won a unanimous decision in what was unanimously agreed by the media and fans to be the single worst robbery of the year. If you're the UFC: What do you do with that? You can't go backwards, you've already pushed Paddy to the rim of the top fifteen, but you also can't have a lick of confidence in his chances against anyone good enough to be ranked. Who do you have that represents a step forward for your biggest marketing darling but could, reasonably, lose to him? The world-shaking impact of Forrest Griffin vs Stephan Bonnar makes it easy to forget, but the actual main event of the finale of The Ultimate Fighter 1 all the way back in 2005 (jesus christ) was Rich Franklin vs Ken Shamrock. The UFC knew it wasn't competitive; that was the entire point. Rich Franklin was the rising star the UFC wanted to push into the mainstream; Ken Shamrock was the well-known star who hadn't scored a quality in in a decade. It wasn't a fight, it was a marketing strategy. This is another stepping stone in the ever-more-complicated Paddy Pimblett marketing journey. The UFC saw Tony get outgrappled by Bobby Green, and they're making the educated assumption that Paddy, who is bigger, stronger and a more accomplished grappler, will be able to do it, too. They're probably right. This will probably be unpleasant and depressing and yet another case of the house winning. So TONY FERGUSON BY TKO. Because gently caress you, that's why. WELTERWEIGHT: Vicente Luque (22-9-1, #9) vs Ian Machado Garry (13-0, #10)This, though? This is a great fight. The ever-short memory of the mixed martial arts fanbase has seen Vicente Luque disappearing from memory at a truly astonishing rate, and it is a crime I refuse to stand for. Sure, the last year and a half haven't been what we wanted--Belal Muhammad definitively stamping Luque out of contendership, Geoff Neal knocking him out, and worst of all, a five-round Vicente Luque vs Rafael dos Anjos fight that was, somehow, deeply boring--but a bad year doesn't erase Luque's history of violence. Luque's been lighting motherfuckers up for years. His reputation as one of Welterweight's most dangerous fighters was earned in blood, and as a general rule, that blood had been extracted from someone else's face with his fists. His striking is absolutely vicious, his chin is incredibly solid, and with the debatable exception of Neal, his only losses over the last eight and a half years have come at the hands of the best of the best. But he has, through his aggression, proven himself to be very, very hittable. That's enough for the UFC to book this fight. If Paddy Pimblett is the UFC's attempt at a new British sensation, Ian Machado Garry is the UFC's attempt at a Conor McGregor do-over. He's big, he's Irish, he punches people a lot, and by god, that's enough. And I genuinely cannot complain about his matchmaking. At the start of this year, sure; booking him against a Song Kenan who was just finishing a two-year injury layoff was some bullshit. But they tried to put Garry up against the aforementioned Geoff Neal, which is a tough, tough fight, and when Neal got injured they gave him Neil Magny, one of the division's most reliable measuring sticks. And Garry dominated him! He did great! As with so many cases, the problem with Ian Garry has very little to do with Ian Garry, and a whole lot to do with the UFC's very subtle marketing around him:  And it's even more infuriating when you realize he is, genuinely, that good. He could have made it into the top ten without the megapush. And now, after trying way too hard to play into the Conor McGregor self-marketing reputation, he's falling into the trap of feeling the need to sling poo poo at his opponents while being utterly unable to handle it in return, and it's putting entirely unnecessary friction on his career. Maybe it would've been inevitable; maybe he would have done it to himself. We're here now, and all he can do is try to knock a motherfucker out again. Which he probably will. Luque's definitely a dangerous challenge for Garry! Song Kenan almost knocked Garry's head off with counter hooks and Luque hits even harder and faster, and unlike other opponents, he's more than capable of choking Garry out before he can recover. But Luque also likes to open up offensive opportunities by absorbing punishment, and that's a terrible, terrible idea against someone this fast, rangy and powerful. After he finds his timing, after he weathers a storm, it's IAN MACHADO GARRY BY TKO. PRELIMS: OF FALMER AND FLAT EARTH FEATHERWEIGHT: Josh Emmett (18-4, #6) vs Bryce Mitchell (16-1, #10)Alternative subtitle: The battle of who had their dreams crushed harder by Ilia Topuria. Poor Josh Emmett's unexpected rise to the top of the Featherweight division was one of the less expected stories of the last few years, but the cynics had already prognosticated his failure to crack the championship ranks, and unfortunately for the Fighting Falmer, the cynics were right. Emmett had only barely gotten by Calvin Kattar in the first place; when he was tapped for a just-in-case-Alexander-Volkanovski-wins-and-stays-at-155-pounds interim Featherweight Championship bout this past February he quickly found himself on the wrong end of Yair Rodríguez and his kicks, and was ultimately choked out in just two rounds. His return bout with Ilia Topuria in the Summer felt less like a second shot at contendership than a test for Topuria, and he aced it, destroying Emmett so badly that one judge scored a round 10-7, which is generally reserved for when a fighter is beaten so badly that cartoon birds circle their head and the reformed topography of their brain makes them abruptly begin believing in flat Earth conspiracies. Which brings us to Bryce Mitchell! The UFC's favorite conspiracy theorizing, white-rapping, biblical-apocalypse-foretelling impaling-his-own-nuts-with-a-power-drilling Featherweight wrestler carried his undefeated streak into 2022 (not counting when he was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter 27 (jesus christ)) only to see it not just broken but shattered with a loving sledgehammer. Mitchell brought his aggressive wrestling game into the cage with, once again, Ilia Topuria, and got stomped loving flat, thrown around like a ragdoll and choked out in two rounds. He left the cage with a bruised ego, a busted face, and the first pause to his professional momentum in almost five years. Bryce devoted the back half of 2023 to recapturing that momentum, but his victory over Dan Ige this past September was far too narrow to return him to place as a top contender. Which is, presumably, why he took this replacement fight. This was supposed to be Josh Emmett vs Giga Chikadze, but Giga tore his groin right at the turn of the month. Mitchell's in on just about two weeks' notice, and who that benefits more is a real question. Emmett's tough as hell, and we just saw Mitchell struggle with Dan Ige's counter-wrestling and power-punching, both of which, arguably, Emmett is better at, which is a real problem if you haven't prepared. But Emmett spent the last two months preparing for a championship-level kickboxer, and now, on very short notice, he has to switch tracks and deal with a chain-wrestling grappling specialist. That's a big loving monkey wrench. I'm still leaning towards JOSH EMMETT BY DECISION but I can't honestly say how much of that is wishful thinking. WOMEN'S BANTAMWEIGHT: Irene Aldana (14-7, #5) vs Karol Rosa (17-5, #9) It seems like every ranked matchup at Women's Bantamweight these days is a testament to the hole Amanda Nunes left in the UFC when she retired. We're finally filling that vacant throne next month, but the rankings have to get filled out below it, and boy, they're a mess. Irene Aldana is the fifth highest-ranked Women's Bantamweight in the UFC and, functionally, the world. Which is fantastic, because Irene Aldana's last victory at the weight class was four god damned years ago. Four years ago, Irene Aldana knocked out Ketlen Vieira, and that's her last successful outing at Women's Bantamweight. She lost to Holly Holm in 2020, she beat Yana Santos in 2021 but missed weight, she beat Macy Chiasson in 2022 but they agreed to fight at a 140-pound catchweight. And on the back of that stellar record, Aldana wound up fighting Amanda Nunes for the championship in the last fight of the GOAT's career, because Julianna Peńa was hurt. She's the fifth-best at a weight class she hasn't succeeded at since The Big Bang Theory was still on the air. But going up to 145 pounds wasn't an option, and to prove it, hell, you can just ask Karol Rosa. Rosa was second in line for a Women's Featherweight title shot, but that belt is currently sealed away in a coffin at the bottom of the ocean floor lest it ever hurt anyone again, so, hey: Hope you like 135 pounds, because you're stuck with it. Rosa was a Bantamweight, but a loss to Sara McMann and an extremely close split decision over Lina Länsberg sent her upstream, where she promptly got beaten by Norma Dumont and, once again, scored a real, real tight split decision over Yana Santos, and if you're wondering why this is just a dry recitation of her fight record, it's because there just isn't much else to talk about. Karol Rosa's UFC career thus far is the precise definition of "This is fine, I guess." She doesn't really have any notable momentum, she doesn't have a memorable style, she doesn't have any great wins. She's grinding her way through the division as best she can. But she has trouble with people she can't physically dominate, and even in mid-womanhandling she gets hit an awful lot. IRENE ALDANA BY DECISION. BANTAMWEIGHT: Cody Garbrandt (13-5) vs Brian Kelleher (24-14) Oh, Cody Garbrandt. Up until Sean O'Malley sprang fully-formed from Dana White's head in a cloud of weed smoke and shredded sexual harassment paperwork I'm not sure there was a Bantamweight fighter the UFC loved more than you. Few rises in the sport have been more meteoric than Cody's road to the top back in 2016, and fewer still have so thoroughly followed the cruel trajectory of gravity. In the first four years of his career, Cody made it to 11-0 and won the UFC Bantamweight Championship; in the seven years since he lost the title in his very first defense, got knocked out four times--three of them in succession--and has gone 2-5 overall. After eventually realizing the downside of a kill-or-be-killed fighting style is the inescapable reality of death, Garbrandt appears to have adjusted, as he came back from 15 months on the shelf against Trevin Jones this March and won by the kind of slow, strategic, thoroughly un-risky kind of fight that makes a crowd of half-drunk Vegas tourists boo lustily. Brian "Boom Boom" Kelleher hasn't ever quite made it that far. He spent the first three years of his time in the company fighting at Bantamweight, went 4-3, popped up to Featherweight, went 2-2, and then gave up on the entire philosophical concept of sticking to a weight class in favor of just going where the UFC wanted him. He was back at Bantamweight for a fight in 2021, he popped back up to Featherweight for the first half of 2022, and now he's right back down again, because, honestly, there's no reason for him not to go wherever there's space. I like Brian Kelleher! I like wrestleboxers, I like his style, I like his willingness to take risky chances. But he's 37, he one loss away from being 50/50 in the UFC, and he drat near retired this year after pre-fight MRIs turned up enough herniated discs in his back that even the UFC told him he should maybe take it easy. Wild-eyed brawler Cody Garbrandt stands a great chance of getting knocked out by Brian Kelleher. Strategic slow-fighting Cody Garbrandt is probably a nightmare for him. He's faster, he still hits like a truck when he tries to, and Kelleher's style gives him lots of opportunities to get cracked in the jaw. CODY GARBRANDT BY DECISION is a thing I would not have envisioned writing a year ago, but time makes fools of us all. WOMEN'S FLYWEIGHT: Casey O'Neill (9-1, #12) vs Ariane Lipski (16-8, NR) The wild swings that seem to happen in the women's divisions are a thing to behold. At the start of 2023 "King" Casey O'Neill was one of the more promising prospects in the division, an undefeated grappling monster with vicious ground and pound, a power advantage over almost everyone she fought, and the dubious honor of retiring Roxanne Modafferi under her belt. Then she tore her ACL and wound up sitting on the sidelines for an entire year. Then she got completely outworked by longtime veteran Jennifer Maia in her comeback fight, who the UFC promptly let go of one fight later, because they've decided they strenuously dislike having good fighters on their roster. So now O'Neill is left trying to retcon her own return to competition. Ariane Lipski, on the other hand, is just desperately trying to keep a winning streak alive. Lipski has struggled ever since making the jump from being a champion in her native Poland's Konfrontacja Sztuk Walki to being a 50/50 fighter in the UFC. Her skills are evident, be it the striking power necessary to repeatedly drop Mandy Böhm or the grappling chops to tear Luana Carolina's knee apart in ninety seconds, but consistently putting those skills together has proven rather difficult for her. She only barely escaped her fight with Melissa Gatto this Summer with a split decision, and that was thanks largely to her successfully playing The Floor Is Lava to escape Gatto's ground assaults. Casey is a lot harder to keep off of you. Strong wrestling and ground-and-pound have done Ariane in repeatedly, and unless she can either stick and move for fifteen minutes or follow submissions aggressively enough to scare Casey off of her bread and butter, she's almost certainly spending this fight on her back. CASEY O'NEILL BY TKO. EARLY PRELIMS: MOST OF A FIGHT NIGHT MAIN CARD, REALLY LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Alonzo Menifield (14-3-1, #14) vs Dustin Jacoby (19-7-1, #15)Alonzo Menifield's 2023 was about as frustrating as ours. Coming off of what had already been a weird 2022--the Askar Mozharov affair is still one of the funniest things to happen in a major MMA organization since Eric Prindle's Groin Destruction Revenge Tour--Menifield saw his momentum halted completely by a debacle of a matchup with Jimmy Crute, which saw a sure-thing decision victory turned into a draw thanks to a last-round point deduction over a fence grab. An instant rematch was ruled absolutely necessary, and, of course, it absolutely wasn't: Menifield mauled Crute and choked him out in seven minutes. Having spent the first two-thirds of the year repeatedly fighting one dude, Menifield is trying to get past the inertia by mantling the Hanyak. In another reality, Dustin Jacoby would be in the top ten right now. His 2022-closing bout with newly-minted contender Khalil Rountree Jr. was the kind of split decision that goes just past 'coinflip' territory and edges perilously close to 'the fighters should launch a class-action lawsuit against the judges,' but Rountree getting the nod meant he went on to consume the last vestiges of Anthony Smith's soul in a co-main event and Jacoby went on to getting beaten at length by Azamat Murzakanov. He dropped Kennedy Nzechukwu in a minute and a half this past August and in doing so defended the honor of herky-jerky kickboxing for a generation to come, but the herk and jerk demand more, more, more. I don't say this often about Light Heavyweight: This is an interesting matchup. Menifield's powerful as hell, but he tends to fight raw and get caught over it. Jacoby's a genuinely good striker with some deceptive wrestling in his back pocket, but he has trouble putting it into practice against opponents who can exert pressure on him. In a pinch, I think DUSTIN JACOBY BY DECISION is more likely, but anything could happen here, and it could happen very, very quickly. FLYWEIGHT: Tagir Ulanbekov (14-2, #13) vs Cody Durden (16-4-1, #15) Subtitled: Jake Hadley's Revenge. Tagir Ulanbekov is another in the seemingly endless legion of Dagestani grapplers put on Earth to wrestle other humans into the dirt and make them pay for the temerity of assuming they were allowed to spend their lives with their necks un-choked. He's been constantly plagued by injuries, meaning as he enters the fourth year of his UFC run he's only four fights deep. His only speedbump thus far was the ever-present grappling of Tim Elliott; otherwise, he's been fully clean. But the UFC wanted him fighting Jake Hadley this past August, and instead it became Tagir's fifth pull-out, and his role was filled by one Cody Durden. Durden's particular brand of face-first, hard-nosed wrestle-boxing has been a problem for everyone in the Flyweight division outside of the top fifteen, and Hadley was no different; it was a wild, spirited grappling match, but it ended with Hadley squirting blood from his forehead and Durden walking away with a win. Durden's only real problems have come from opportunistic submission aces like Jimmy Flick or specimens like Muhammad Mokaev who can do more or less whatever they want. But, boy, Tagir's tendency to nab guillotines and control grappling positions seems like bad news for Durden. Cody's definitely got a power and ferocity advantage on the feet, but I'm not sure how much time the fight will ultimately spend there. TAGIR ULANBEKOV BY SUBMISSION. FEATHERWEIGHT: Andre Fili (22-10 (1)) vs Lucas Almeida (14-2) When last we saw Andre Fili he was coming off a 1-2 (1) run that culminated in his being taken off of fighting out of medical concern when one of his eyes stopped working. I think, as a rule, if fighting starts making you blind, you should probably stop loving doing it. But Fili's been in the UFC a decade+ at this point and nothing can stop him, so he came back anyway and got outpunched by Nathaniel Wood for his troubles. This puts Fili in the unfortunate position of the gatekeeping veteran: He's genuinely quite good, but after all these years and fights he's 10-9 (1) in the UFC and has been pretty visibly relegated to testing new blood. Thus: Lucas Almeida. Almeida actually lost his 2021 crack at the Contender Series, but he's a stand-and-bang Brazilian with a penchant for flying knees and a deep-seated love for kicking people in the leg, and truly, how could the UFC resist. His debut against Mike Trizano was a definitive knockout, but it took an entire year for his second UFC fight thanks to constant, repeated bad luck with opponents blowing their weight cuts or getting injured--one of whom was, in fact, Andre Fili, who had to bow out due to the aforementioned eye injury. Which is better now? I guess? Boy, I don't feel great about Andre continuing to fight at this point. But he's still an underrated fighter and he's still got some great kicks in his back pocket, and I secretly hope he uses them by mixing up some unexpected wrestling in the game because that's where Almeida really struggles. ANDRE FILI BY DECISION. HEAVYWEIGHT: Martin Buday (13-1, #15) vs Shamil Gaziev (11-0, NR) I wonder what it's like to be a pair of (almost) undefeated Heavyweights, meaning you're the most-desired fighters the UFC can get, and both of you came from the Contender Series, meaning you're Dana White's special project, and one of you is actually on a four-fight winning streak in the UFC, making you one of the most successful Heavyweight prospects they've got to the point of actually achieving a ranking, and their judgment of your worth still relegates you to the curtain-jerking portion of the prelims. Martin Buday, your wrestling is good but it's just not what they want. Sure, you tore Josh Parisian's arm off in your last fight, but make no mistake: They think you're gonna cage-clinch and punch a man again, and statistically, they're probably right. Shamil Gaziev is a much more traditional Heavyweight prospect--as in, all but one of his victories came by stoppage and his gameplan centers around murdering his opponent with his bare hands and possibly choking out his half-conscious corpse--but part of that tradition is an awful lot of those victims being outclassed rookie fighters and Light Heavyweights fighting significantly out of their weight class. Let me be blunt: I would not disrespect Chris Barnett by daring to say Buday could handle his striking but not Gaziev's. If the world proves me wrong, I persist it is the world that is wrong. MARTIN BUDAY BY DECISION. WELTERWEIGHT: Randy Brown (17-5) vs Muslim Salikhov (19-4)We'll call this the Please Watch The Prelims fight, because boy, this is awful low on the card for how notable both of these men are and how much fun it could really be. Randy Brown has been so close to a top fifteen ranking that the UFC actually used him to springboard rising star Jack Della Maddalena into the rankings at the start of 2023. It makes sense; Brown's tall and rangy and dangerous as hell, but the UFC's also seen him just fail to crack the ceiling and break out of the dreaded 'he's got so much potential' damning-with-faint-praise status three times, now, and eventually, they start feeding you to people. Muslim Salikhov is on his own first real run-in with the glass ceiling. He, too, had a great five-fight winning streak that got him to the cusp of the rankings, and he, too, got blown out of the water by Li Jingliang, ending his hopes on the spot. He's 1-1 since, having joined the long line of UFC fighters who knocked out Andre Fialho but failed to get past the somehow-once-again-relevant Nicolas Dalby this past June. One of them will consume the other's momentum and return to grace; one will be cast into the pit. The betting lines pretty steadily favor Randy Brown, and I get why. He's got a huge size and reach advantage and Muslim's difficulty with clinch grappling like Randy's gets him in trouble. But, as I write this, I am delirious with fever, and in my dreams I see Salikhov striking through Randy's sometimes loose hands and unexpectedly taking him out. My dreams also tell me to call all of my exes and move to Norway, so I do not recommend you bet accordingly, but I, personally, have no choice but to obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul. MUSLIM SALIKHOV BY TKO.
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Dec 13, 2023 20:28
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Super Deuce posted:If not on SA, if he isn’t doing that to some degree professionally or at least with banner ads, he really should. I've got my substack and my three paying subscribers, whom I deeply appreciate. A bit after I started doing this I tried to get the gumption up to pitch it somewhere, but right around that time something funny happened: The entire internet nerd reporting/sports journalism verticals business fuckin' died. I mean, Bloody Elbow was one of the bigger MMA sites and now they're just a substack too. Half of Yahoo Sports just got laid off. Between that and every company salivating over AI, it turns out I could not have possibly picked a worse time to maybe try to get paid doing this. So for now I'm gonna just keep truckin'. I'm deeply glad y'all like them and it is intensely flattering anyone reads them at all. BlindSite posted:She's 40 and hes 26 and she literally wrote a book 10 years ago about snagging an athlete for a husband so you can be pampered. Strickland was calling him a cuck because Garry is paying her ex husband who either lives with or lived with the couple for a time as his nutritionist. This is the story the internet's settled on, but like a lot of internet stuff it's mostly bullshit. The 'book' is an 11-page satire article featuring advice like setting aside money for fake boobs and embracing having no talent. It's incredibly obviously a joke, but the rumor took off without anyone bothering to read it first or caring after when it was pointed out. And Sean Strickland accused her of being a sexual predator who groomed Garry when he was too young to know better, which is way shittier.
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Dec 14, 2023 11:25
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Karate Combat is this wild combination of one of the most high-rent MMA alternatives and somehow almost as seedy as BKFC.
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Dec 16, 2023 05:31
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For a brief moment before it switched to BKFC Youtube said Karate Combat had copyright claimed their own livestream and I'm not sure which would have been funnier.
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Dec 16, 2023 06:17
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https://twitter.com/bareknucklefc/status/1736080965510832572 So yeah, whatever copyright bot company they have doing takedowns went after them for the clip.
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Dec 16, 2023 20:09
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4049750 Our final UFC GDT of the year is up. Come watch the horrors unfold.
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Dec 17, 2023 00:19
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If Maddalena knocks out Burns they will 100% say "well, Belal and Shavkat both have such great claims to a title shot the only answer is for them to fight each other" while they run Edwards/JDM in the UK.
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Dec 17, 2023 08:19
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Holland/MVP should actually be fun, but I also just really want MVP to have to fight a wrestler and get righteously indignant wrestling exists again. https://twitter.com/laura_sanko/status/1736440068964077632 On which topic, it turns out Shavkat destroyed Wonderboy with one leg.
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Dec 17, 2023 20:57
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My prevailing memory from all of that isn't even the pre-fight press, but the post-fight, where Diaz accused GSP of cheating and planting a spy in his camp because that's the only way he could have expected Diaz to roll for kneebars from the bottom.
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Dec 21, 2023 04:34
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BlindSite posted:I remember or maybe fever dreamed a clip of Nick diaz doing an interview or maybe a video in his car and yelling "gently caress your mother" at someone driving past https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4EbRnFn0Tg&t=16s
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Dec 21, 2023 04:48
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I'm not going to say I've done any actual analysis on the veracity of that poll, but I am going to say any poll that says 50% of the audience for the WNBA identifies is conservative seems real off to me. update: having now actually looked into it, that pollster is run by Mark "I Was Hillary Clinton's Poll Manager And Told Her She Would Win In A Blue-Texas Landslide And Then I Consulted For Donald Trump And Decried The Deep State Conspiracy To Depose Him" Penn, so CarlCX fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Dec 21, 2023 |
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Dec 21, 2023 22:16
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 We made it through another year, and that means it's time for another year's community feedback and reflection thread. If you stuck with all of the writeups/monthlies/etc. this year you read 300,000+ words, and for that, a) thank you, and b) I am sorry I took away the time you could have spent reading an actual book. LobsterMobster's writing an actual recap for 2023 and I don't wanna step on toes, but I did want to highlight that I believe we all just lived through what was, statistically, the wildest year in the history of UFC title belts. If you map out champions at the start of 2023 vs the end, it's kind of nuts:
Alexander Volkanovski was, in fact, your most active champion of the year, who thanks to his last-minute fill-in against Islam averaged a championship fight every 83.6 days which was, in retrospect, a pretty bad idea. Your most active champion of the year fighting in exclusively planned fights was Aljamain Sterling, who between his October fight against Henry Cejudo and his August loss to Sean O'Malley managed a title fight every 100.3 days, which, unfortunately, was also a pretty lousy idea. You also lived through the life, death, and zombie-like rebirth of Power Slap, so congratulations on walking this sin-cursed Earth with us. As for the forum itself, if there were a few favorite moments of mine we had this year, they were LobsterMobster's Eulogy for Bellator, which was the exact kind of reverent and irreverent Bellator as an organization deserved in a way I deeply appreciate, my silly Tank Abbott tournament, which I drastically underestimated the workload for but which was ultimately a lot of fun to do, and the moment we all found out Jase1 faked his death, which is still the funniest, dumbest thing that's happened here in awhile. And, as with every year, I am mostly here for annual community feedback. It's no secret that we've got more folks than ever disenchanted with the current product, so I wanted to see if there was any interest in 2024 participation in any of these:
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Dec 27, 2023 01:28
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Strickland's in the conversation but I wouldn't give it to him. Not just politics, but Imavov and Abus making GBS threads the bed makes those wins a little less than stellar. Beating Izzy's still pretty cool. Just off the top of my head as far as fighter of the year goes:
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Dec 28, 2023 00:24
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ONE has announced the main event for their Qatar event in March is Anatoly Malykhin attempting to complete his hater's quest by fighting Reinier de Ridder again, this time for his 205-pound title.
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Dec 28, 2023 06:37
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TheKingslayer posted:For me its this or Alex Pereira. Winning two belts in two different weight classes in 365 days in some pretty intense fights? Yeah I think that'll do it. No one else comes close to these two guys though for my money. I thought about putting Pereira on that shortlist but second-guessed it. Becoming a two-class champion and destroying Jiri is plenty impressive, but for one, while he WON the Blachowicz fight I wouldn't call it a great performance, and for two, I feel like it's hard to be fighter of the year when you got knocked the gently caress out in said year.
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Dec 28, 2023 08:42
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Snowman_McK posted:Merry Xmas and happy new years. I'm largely checked out of our dumb gay sport these days, thanks to the awful, scummy aspects being harder to ignore, but the interest I retain is pretty much all due to this forum. The knowledge, wit and humour you all have keeps me interested the way it got me interested a decade and a half ago now. Thanks all and I hope you're all good this time of year.  We are in different positions on this sinking ship, but we are all riding it to the bottom one way or another.I am going to watch 5 hours of AEW tomorrow followed by 7 hours of Japanese MMA and then I will go to bed at 6:30 in the morning.  edit: i posted this and then checked twitter https://twitter.com/ykkymma/status/1741013300304027757 juan archuleta missed weight by six loving pounds and has been stripped of the rizin bantamweight belt, they have yet to decide if they'll even have their co-main event tomorrow CarlCX fucked around with this message at 11:05 on Dec 30, 2023 |
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Dec 30, 2023 11:00
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edit: jedi was seconds faster and i'm leaving this as an exhibition of shame JMMA new year's has begun, if you are a degenerate like us who is staying up for it. It's $20 on Fite but the prelims are also on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJBbkYyNlAY
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Dec 31, 2023 06:20
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I do not like Japanese Sean O'Malley but he does have a real good right.
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Dec 31, 2023 07:21
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Brut posted:are all these guys walking one gonna be fighting in a free for all? In a way, everyone fights together, but in another way, everyone fights alone.
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Dec 31, 2023 08:02
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 13:28 |
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 You are legally required to read Lobmob's post but do so in the new thread because it is 2024 and we have to burn this one or we'll never be free of 2023. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4050899
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Jan 1, 2024 20:42
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