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was just thinking about the time i was interviewing with a giant consulting company (think like, deloitte) and they asked me what my favorite mario kart character was
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Dec 26, 2023 16:27
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 23:41 |
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please don't make me think about deloitte, i would like to think of almost anything else i knew someone who worked there once and my memory is foggy but I'm pretty sure they sucked
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Dec 26, 2023 16:50
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Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years? Idk I'm not a psychic. Why do you want to work for us? I don't. All very weird questions.
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Dec 26, 2023 16:52
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Typical ejaculation volume
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Dec 26, 2023 16:59
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A small boutique tech consultancy shop in Dallas strung my interview process out to the span of 2 months and by the end I was absolutely over it. The final step was an interview directly with the CEO and they had already cancelled and rescheduled twice. When the interview was finally set in stone, I had already written the entire job off, but I decided to go to the interview anyway because who the gently caress cares. We sit in his office and the first "question" is "so poemdexter, tell me about your life." I proceed to tell him everything. EVERYTHING. How I never studied in school and when I hit college it hit me like a brick which is why it took me 8 years to get a degree. How I stole things from Walmart to sell to other students to afford my own books after scholarships ran out. The tremendous amount of pot I smoked. How I decided to have a kid, get married, and then graduate college in exactly that order. I guess he was impressed with my ability to get poo poo done under duress or whatever because he interrupted my story by open palm slamming his card on the table and saying "let's do this." About a year or two later, I quit because the rear end in a top hat CEO hired his daughter and friend's daughter to come work in the office and called it a "High School Internship Program" instead of blatant nepotism. When I called him out on it anonymously on LinkedIn, he brought it up at the next all hands meeting but only mentioned how upset he was that his linkedin approval rating was no longer 100%. An old manager instantly recognized that it was more than likely my review and offered me a job at his new place so off I went.
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Dec 26, 2023 17:00
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swear to god I got the "Pen Drop" test last month. we were both sitting in adjacent chairs and the way he dropped the pen was just weird and unnatural.
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Dec 26, 2023 17:31
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Do I have any stairs in my house I said I live in a split level 
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Dec 26, 2023 17:32
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Southern Cassowary posted:was just thinking about the time i was interviewing with a giant consulting company (think like, deloitte) and they asked me what my favorite mario kart character was Well?
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Dec 26, 2023 17:32
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poemdexter posted:I quit because the rear end in a top hat CEO hired his daughter and friend's daughter to come work in the office and called it a "High School Internship Program" instead of blatant nepotism. This is not the weirdest quitting reason thread
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Dec 26, 2023 17:36
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I got an interview for a sattelite tech position once (desperate). They had me walk up and down a ladder with a bucket of bricks on each hand for 10 minutes or so. I smoked the other applicant, some mid 40s looking guy was struggling, but they never called me back. Probably because it's a man's job and I was a 19yo girl.
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Dec 26, 2023 17:36
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Grey Cat posted:Where do you see yourself in 5 to 10 years? The best is when the person answering this question is at a level of management that you could conceivably be promoted to in...about five years. So the only answer that shows initiative and blah blah etc is literally "doing your job." 20 Blunts posted:swear to god I got the "Pen Drop" test last month. we were both sitting in adjacent chairs and the way he dropped the pen was just weird and unnatural. Did you kick the pen out of his reach while maintaining eye contact?
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Dec 26, 2023 17:39
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"Can you pay the schooling fee in one go, or would you first need to take out a loan?" Looking back, these people were obviously scam artists who preyed on dumb fresh graduates. They advertised these 'learn and work' programs where they'd take in anyone with a technical degree, put them through training for three months, then find them a place to work. The training was free, of course, provided 1. you finished it and 2. stayed at whatever company they put you for two years. I really needed the money back then and would have been OK paying for some text books, but these people asked for the equivalent of five years of tuition at a public university. I simply gave a small nod when they asked me that question, but what I should have done was march straight toward their toilet, clog it up, then leave.
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Dec 26, 2023 17:40
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Art thee the man to pitch a harpoon down a whale's throat and jump in after it? And then they gave my friend poo poo for his tattoos and skin color. He ended up getting paid a lot more than me though. Whole enterprise ended badly.
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Dec 26, 2023 18:22
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They took one look at me and demanded to see my family tree
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Dec 26, 2023 18:29
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Can you take a seat on that black couch over there so we can start the interview?
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Dec 26, 2023 18:30
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One company they made me play guess an item in a grocery story 20 questions type game. Bottle of Ibuprofen was the answer. Another company told me: "Convince us that you are not an alien imposter" Small software companies are weird.
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Dec 26, 2023 18:32
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I was asked to map the components that are in a typical desktop PC (RAM, CPU, motherboard, power supply, etc) to parts of the human body. I'd exhausted obvious choices and left RAM for last - brain was already out as of course that went to the CPU. I just joked we can put it on the elbow as long as it's connected to the bus and is decoded correctly but they were not amused and just kept asking the question. Weird way to jerk someone around
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Dec 26, 2023 18:49
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Hatsune Mike posted:I was asked to map the components that are in a typical desktop PC (RAM, CPU, motherboard, power supply, etc) to parts of the human body. I'd exhausted obvious choices and left RAM for last - brain was already out as of course that went to the CPU. I just joked we can put it on the elbow as long as it's connected to the bus and is decoded correctly but they were not amused and just kept asking the question. Weird way to jerk someone around The correct answer would have been to dunk the interviewer's head in a toilet
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Dec 26, 2023 18:57
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I had an interview a couple months ago where the interviewer walked in and immediately began insulting me for wearing a green shirt so I walked out
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Dec 26, 2023 19:00
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Google-style brainteasers in TYOOL 2022.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:00
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A small software company had me solve the "Wolf, goat, and cabbage" problem over the phone. Since it was the 2010s, the wolf, goat, and cabbage were replaced with humans and zombies - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf,_goat_and_cabbage_problem Another interviewer at a small software company didn't believe me when I told him I do long distance running as a hobby. He didn't think anyone could have fun doing that and said I should be honest and really tell them what I do as a hobby. I don't think programers should interview people.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:12
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Whether or not I have a "good mouth," when I obviously do
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Dec 26, 2023 19:16
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Hatsune Mike posted:I was asked to map the components that are in a typical desktop PC (RAM, CPU, motherboard, power supply, etc) to parts of the human body. I'd exhausted obvious choices and left RAM for last - brain was already out as of course that went to the CPU. I just joked we can put it on the elbow as long as it's connected to the bus and is decoded correctly but they were not amused and just kept asking the question. Weird way to jerk someone around prefrontal cortex
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Dec 26, 2023 19:18
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I got asked what song I'd sing at karaoke. I mostly listen to god awful noise and poo poo so I can't remember what I said to lie through that one.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:24
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Konar posted:please don't make me think about deloitte, i would like to think of almost anything else i worked at a big consulting firm and i can wax poetic on this subject but yeah i 100% believe they suck BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Well? i said donkey kong because anyone asking that question is going to know who donkey kong is and donkey kong owns but my actual answer is daisy cause on the only mk i played enough of to care (mk wii) everyone did funky kong on the flame runner but daisy on the mach bike was almost as fast and had a tighter turning radius so you'd be slightly better on a small handful of very fun technical tracks, still competitive on the others, and look cooler
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Dec 26, 2023 19:33
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Oh I got a couple from the last few years: I went through a 2 hour  One and Done interview process with a company that manages shopping malls. Outside of dumbshit stuff like wanting me in the office 5x a week to work on cloud based stuff, they asked me what i would do in an zombie apocalypse and expected a serious answer. I started to wind up on how the whole idea is both racist and stupid but I stopped myself and hung up on the interviewDifferent one - a recruiting company reaches out to me and says some muckety-muck wants to interview me for a decent position and that "he saw your profile and likes what he sees" (profile not resume being the key word). I got on the interview and it was a middle-aged man who set up the whole thing to flirt with me. It was every bit as degrading and insulting as you could imagine - I'm a 44 year old cishet male desperately looking for work and having a total stranger trying to use baby talk about my dog during what was ostensibly a job interview was  thats ignoring the numerous job interviews where I applied for a position, spoke with a recruiter about the position, got to the technical interview and it was both an extremely junior and paid way less than the job description. I've worked in VOIP & video conferencing for almost 24 years now; having some random dude try to convince me that I could start as a junior tech and work my way up to sales engineer (when I applied for the senior SE position) is frustrating and insulting.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:33
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Ya like fuckin around?
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Dec 26, 2023 19:43
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obviously i said yes sir
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Dec 26, 2023 19:43
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I interviewed for a "marketing agency" that actually just seemed to be two people who put together a fake website and were attempting to hire people to put the actual company together and do all the work and they asked "How much revenue do you expect to bring us in your first year?"
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Dec 26, 2023 19:44
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I interviewed for creative director of a high end marketing firm in my city, and it turned out the owner himself did all the interviews. Weird, but sure. His first question was “which email client do you use?” I said gmail and he nodded like I had just been inducted into some secret brotherhood. “You’re lucky - if anyone says hotmail, I end the interview right there.” This was like 18 months ago. Anyway, on all internal and external copy, this gently caress had to be referred to as “our fearless leader” instead of his actual name.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:45
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Escape From Noise posted:I got asked what song I'd sing at karaoke. I mostly listen to god awful noise and poo poo so I can't remember what I said to lie through that one. Lol My answer, Addict by K's Choice, not a good plan
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Dec 26, 2023 19:48
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Marketers who drink the Marketing kool-aid are the worst.
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Dec 26, 2023 19:48
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Spinz posted:Lol just say "any skit off an Adam Sandler comedy album" Or Tequila by The Champs, like this dude https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVCC0MBT6bE&t=76s
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Dec 26, 2023 20:58
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Escape From Noise posted:I got asked what song I'd sing at karaoke. I mostly listen to god awful noise and poo poo so I can't remember what I said to lie through that one. 
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Dec 26, 2023 21:02
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"would you please leave?" No I obviously don't take no for an answer that's why you need me you moron
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Dec 26, 2023 21:08
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For a video rental place it was: "What is your mission statement?" I think they might've cribbed it directly from a "How to interview for dummies" or something and didn't dress it up at all, in retrospect they should've asked "What is your tagline". That place has been out of business now for well over a decade
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Dec 26, 2023 21:13
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have you ever been to a turkish prison?
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Dec 26, 2023 22:46
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"How tolerant are you towards sexual harassment?"
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Dec 26, 2023 23:04
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If I was comfortable with feces and blood but to be fair it was for a vet tech position.
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Dec 26, 2023 23:08
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 23:41 |
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The interviewer said, and I'm going to try to get this as close as possible: "Okay, imagine you are wearing a blindfold and led into a room and told to sit in a chair. After a minute, you hear a voice telling you to remove the blindfold. What do you do?" So I said I removed the blindfold. "You're in a featureless room. Now what? Like... motherfucker I didn't bring my dice or character sheet because I was under the impression that this was a job interview. If you want to have lateral thinking puzzles (for an entry-level IT job) like Google or whatever, you're going to need to actually put a little thought and structure into them.
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Dec 26, 2023 23:11
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