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I recently happened to look up The Ninth Gate, a movie in which Johnny Depp plays an unscrupulous rare book dealer who stumbles upon a book reputed to allow one to gain great power. I knew it was never really a hit, but I was a little surprised to learn it has very low reviews and scores. Apparently it's bad. I loved it from beginning to end. He gets pulled along by circumstance as well as his own draw to the mysteries he encounters, and he always seems almost entirely out of his depth. He never has the power in any interaction, and more importantly as he bumps up against the types of people who are after the promises in "the devil's bible" it's very clear he is not actually part of that scene. He's not like them. He's neither a cultist nor a "satanist". And yet... Reviews and critical reception I guess weren't kind, I still loved it though.
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Feb 8, 2024 19:34
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 09:50 |
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The Eyes Have It posted:I recently happened to look up The Ninth Gate, a movie in which Johnny Depp plays an unscrupulous rare book dealer who stumbles upon a book reputed to allow one to gain great power. I knew it was never really a hit, but I was a little surprised to learn it has very low reviews and scores. Apparently it's bad. Folks have a kind of a problem with the director more than the movie I think.
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Feb 8, 2024 21:28
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Oh, that makes a ton of sense. Duh
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Feb 8, 2024 21:31
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I can't say that I love The Big Hit, a movie that is about 90% bad and not even in a funny way, but I think about two characters from it a lot: the main character, Melvin Smiley, a professional hitman whose primary desire is to be liked by everyone he meets, and his professional acquaintance Crunch, a hitman who has just discovered masturbation and is completely obsessed. Crunch in particular is just a perfect jewel of stupid comedy in a movie that's mostly painfully unfunny.
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Feb 8, 2024 21:53
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Trace-buster-buster.
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Feb 8, 2024 22:25
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I had a fondness for post-apocalyptic films that used to pop up on the Scifi Channel back in the day. Waterworld was a big influence (still dig the soundtrack). I also liked The Postman, even if I preferred the book. Neon City had its charms, even if it was basically Michael Ironside being a low-rent Mad Max taking an RV trip in the year 2053.
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Feb 9, 2024 07:32
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Antivehicular posted:I can't say that I love The Big Hit, a movie that is about 90% bad and not even in a funny way, but I think about two characters from it a lot: the main character, Melvin Smiley, a professional hitman whose primary desire is to be liked by everyone he meets, and his professional acquaintance Crunch, a hitman who has just discovered masturbation and is completely obsessed. Crunch in particular is just a perfect jewel of stupid comedy in a movie that's mostly painfully unfunny. Straight JACKIN saves you that mad cream. I do love this movie and quote it a lot. I said LANOLIN. None of that aloe vera BULLSHIT.
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Feb 9, 2024 14:30
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Grammarchist posted:Neon City had its charms, even if it was basically Michael Ironside being a low-rent Mad Max taking an RV trip in the year 2053. You have my attention.
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Feb 9, 2024 15:37
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a sexual elk posted:The Stupids, me and brothers must have rented it 15 times. Still love it.  Only blemish on the movie is the way the pets are shoehorned in with very 90s CGI, otherwise it is immaculate.
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Feb 10, 2024 20:00
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I was going to say insane campy 1993 neon kung fu film The Heroic Trio with which I am obsessed but apparently it's a criterion film now so I guess not.
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Feb 11, 2024 19:14
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hallo spacedog posted:I was going to say insane campy 1993 neon kung fu film The Heroic Trio with which I am obsessed but apparently it's a criterion film now so I guess not. It has a sequel! The Executioners. I caught it on TNT late at night in the 90s, lol. I wouldn't call either one a good movie, but they're both fun.
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Feb 12, 2024 18:56
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atomicgeek posted:It has a sequel! The Executioners. I caught it on TNT late at night in the 90s, lol. I wouldn't call either one a good movie, but they're both fun. Apparently they're both on the criterion Blu ray so I really want it now. I've never seen the sequel but I've seen the first one so many times, it has so much crazy poo poo in it I just love it
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Feb 12, 2024 20:39
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I have always loved Lord of Illusions and feel like it didn't get the attention it deserved. Also just learned that Scott Bakula's character goes on to become the leader of the cenobites in Hellraiser lore wtf. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN1RToUAOQg
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Feb 15, 2024 13:45
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I liked that one, too! One of those movies that I watched and enjoyed, but even though I don't remember it rocking my world exactly... I nevertheless find myself thinking about it every now and again and admiring some of the ideas. I didn't expect the Hellraiser lore trivia, lol. Speaking of trivia, Clive Barker's original title for Hellraiser apparently was "Sadomasochists From Beyond The Grave"
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Feb 15, 2024 18:50
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Mom and Dad, starring Nic Cage. I can see why it did bad in theaters but loving Hell it is good in a dark way.
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Feb 16, 2024 01:17
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Cowslips Warren posted:Mom and Dad, starring Nic Cage. I can see why it did bad in theaters but loving Hell it is good in a dark way. I liked this one a lot too
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Feb 16, 2024 02:25
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As a kid, I LOVED the Warriors of Virtue, and it still holds a place in my heart despite how dumb it is. Basically, it's a ripoff of TMNT, but with ninja kangaroos that each have an elemental theme (including metal, for some reason) in a mystical vaguely-Asian inspired world. The plot barely holds together and the characters don't make much sense, but the world looked cool, and that's all I needed. My poor grandmother even bought me the kangaroo warrior toys, and I have a sealed copy of the VHS lying around somewhere.
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Feb 16, 2024 06:07
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i dont know if anyone hates it, but other than the one scene everyone remembers, i doubt anyone really cares much about Deep Blue Sea. i however, love it and watch it at least once a year. an insanely good bad film
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Feb 16, 2024 21:28
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Oh yeah, Smart Sharks! I remember the researcher explaining her emotional motivation for Alzheimer's research, sharing the pain of how every day her dad would ask where his wife was, she'd have to tell him she died, and watch his heart break every time, over and over. It seemed very cruel to me to not just say "she's coming home later/tomorrow" instead, but I'm not a genius researcher  Some genuinely good scenes though, and smart sharks were a good boogeyman and not nearly as silly as it sounded to be at first.
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Feb 16, 2024 22:15
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Yeah Deep Blue Sea is definitely fun trash. Good movie to put on with a few mates while having some drinks.
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Feb 16, 2024 22:38
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The Eyes Have It posted:Oh yeah, Smart Sharks! In all fairness to the Smart Sharks Movie, I believe that being honest with individuals with dementia about distressing facts was the accepted standard of care of the time, on the theory that it was more valuable for their long-term memory health to be oriented to reality? I think this has changed in recent years, though. Anyway, ironically I remember very little about Deep Blue Sea aside from The One Scene, but whoever wrote and choreographed That One Scene deserves a medal.
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Feb 16, 2024 23:47
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That was such a trash movie but I still love it, not only for that One Scene, but for the scene with the helicopter and the dude on the stretcher. In my mind, that's a perfect capsulation of how dumb trash but hilarious fun that movie is. Also, just once I want there to be a scientist in one of these movies that keeps saying no, sharks in fact, do get cancer, and we don't know if they could Alzheimer's or not because we don't have tests for that. Also, if you're going to breed insanely smart sharks, maybe go with something smaller that you can keep in a stock tank and not something has to be in the open ocean🙂 That said, some of the most terrifying animals we keep as pets are not terrifying because of their size. I want to see a movie with giant starfish and serpent stars that attack people. Especially the starfish that don't actually have a technical mouth and just push their stomach out to dissolve their food while it's alive.
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Feb 17, 2024 00:19
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hmm. yeah i hear all of your ideas on “plot holes” or “story inconsistencies” or “very stupid writing” and i choose to just get real mad irl that you would insult the perfect film, deep blue sea. my hat is like a shark’s fin!
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Feb 17, 2024 02:00
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Hackers film 1995 posted:hmm. yeah i hear all of your ideas on “plot holes” or “story inconsistencies” or “very stupid writing” and i choose to just get real mad irl that you would insult the perfect film, deep blue sea. my hat is like a shark’s fin! i don't recall your avatar in the movie because that would have made it literal perfect. HACK THE SHARK.
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Feb 17, 2024 04:36
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Cowslips Warren posted:. *Cheesy electronic 'bow-wow' sound effect emerges from tinny speakers* (Jerks back from keyboard) "It's got watchdogs!"
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Feb 17, 2024 04:51
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Cowslips Warren posted:That said, some of the most terrifying animals we keep as pets are not terrifying because of their size. I want to see a movie with giant starfish and serpent stars that attack people. Especially the starfish that don't actually have a technical mouth and just push their stomach out to dissolve their food while it's alive. In this line, there's the movie Slugs. It featured carnivorous slugs that attacked and ate people.
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Feb 17, 2024 18:49
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Cowslips Warren posted:🙂 James Gunn has u covered my dude
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Feb 17, 2024 18:52
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Tunicate posted:James Gunn has u covered my dude nah that's some superhero movie. Legit serpent starfish. Maybe some crown of thorns starfish that some idiot chops up to kill. I remember watching the movie Orca as a kid, and thought it was pretty badass. That Scene though is not quite as good as Deep Blue Sea, but as a kid reading about whales, I never understood why the crew was trying to capture an orca alive with a loving harpoon gun. That Scene, btw, was a bloody orca miscarriage with the fetus hosed off the side of the deck and most of the human crew freaking the gently caress out.
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Feb 17, 2024 20:22
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Cowslips Warren posted:nah that's some superhero movie. Is orca the one where the whale calls someone on the phone
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Feb 17, 2024 20:25
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I rented Surf Ninja's so often as a kid. I loved that the bad guy was the dude I loved from Police Squad and Naked Gun. trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlLWmFpEouI full movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9bOJs_z9M0
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Feb 18, 2024 02:15
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Shard posted:I rented Surf Ninja's so often as a kid. I loved that the bad guy was the dude I loved from Police Squad and Naked Gun. Oh yeah, that was a pretty good one. Probably the funniest Rob Schneider has ever been.
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Feb 18, 2024 05:17
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3 Ninjas Flashback
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Feb 18, 2024 09:01
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Batman and Robin. I love 60s Batman so I appreciate every ridiculous pun out of Arnold’s mouth, every over the top moment Uma is in, the huge garish sets, the bat-nipples, all of it. I saw it three times in the theater (as I did Spice World). Just slather me in the cheese.
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Feb 18, 2024 19:59
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I don't think it's a bad movie but I love MirrorMask more than it probably deserves. It's got amazing visual design and a cool twist on the "running away to join the circus" thing. The story's not great but it manages to follow some kind of dream logic, just enough to make the movie coherent. I would recommend it to fans of things like The Dark Crystal or Labyrinth. For a truly bad movie, I kinda like The Cell for its visuals. I think The Fall does everything The Cell does but better but it's still worth watching once.
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Feb 19, 2024 16:09
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CordlessPen posted:I don't think it's a bad movie but I love MirrorMask more than it probably deserves. It's got amazing visual design and a cool twist on the "running away to join the circus" thing. The story's not great but it manages to follow some kind of dream logic, just enough to make the movie coherent. I would recommend it to fans of things like The Dark Crystal or Labyrinth. The Cell is phenomenal, especially because of Vincent D'Onofrio. That man can do no wrong.
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Feb 19, 2024 18:52
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I would like to revisit The Cell. I remember being really let down by the film but I think I was focusing on the wrong parts of it.
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Feb 20, 2024 03:35
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Yeah the cells story and pacing is a bit eh, but yeah visually great. Just incredibly well shot. Oh and yeah Vincent D'Onofrio does some great acting as well. The fall is better though.
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Feb 20, 2024 11:33
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that creepy line “me got boy. boy me got” will pop into my head whenever i think of the cell.
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Feb 20, 2024 16:05
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^^^ same I'm definitely going to check out The Fall and MirrorMask. Crimes of the Future bombed hard but I loved it anyway. I can see how it maybe tries to pull the rug out from under the viewer a little too... idk what exactly, but instead of multiple factions colliding at & over a looming pivotal point in humanity's history, it might just come across as jumbled and confusing. But it's also highly weird and unsettling and if you manage to groove on its wavelength it's really wild.
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Feb 20, 2024 18:24
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Not many people saw Crimes of the Future but I thought those who did mostly really enjoyed it. I know I and my mate who I saw it with did.
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Feb 21, 2024 10:43
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