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You know, maybe I should get back on my bullshit, too. In for three, please.
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Mar 27, 2024 17:44
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 22:28 |
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 a knife in the hand 1250 words I was naked and a little drunk and looking to pick a fight. Really, I just wanted an excuse to get out of bed and get my clothes on and leave and not worry about Joey trying to call me again but I didn’t know how to do all that in a mature way. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Joey was hot. Like, seriously, objectively hot. Tatted up and muscled. Long, thick, curly hair. Diamond stud earrings. Totally my type. I just… wasn’t interested in hanging out now that we were done loving. Like. Ever. I just wanted some dick to help me get over the last one. “I mean it,” I said. “I think this looks like poo poo. I don’t know why you would get an ugly rear end tattoo this big. And of all places? Here?” I emphasized each word with a tap of my fingers against his chest. Against the tattoo in question. A heart with three bloody daggers sticking through it. But he wouldn’t take the bait. Instead, he just grinned and shook his head. He nudged me with his shoulder and said, “Chuhh, c’mon, babe.” I snapped, “Don’t babe me!” “Like, oh em gee,” he said, affecting my Cali-girl accent. “Don’t ‘don’t babe me,’ babe!” I must have looked surprised because his laugh was belly deep. It shook the bed. And while he laughed, he pressed his head back into the pillow and closed his eyes and the joint hung precariously from his bottom lip, threatening to ash at any moment onto his bare chest and onto that stupid tattoo. But it didn’t. He wiped his eyes. He took a hit, exhaled slowly, and offered it to me before switching back to his normal voice. “Ay, you like take one puff, yeah?” “gently caress it,” I said. “Sure.” I tried to take the joint but Joey kept his fingers on it. Even as I brought it to my lips, our hands, our fingers, remained pressed together. He adjusted his body so that it was closer to mine. So that his head was closer to mine. It was strangely intimate, smoking like that. He watched me as I smoked. He had pretty eyes. I exhaled a cloud directly into his face. He didn’t blink. “Aiyah,” he said. “You no cum or what? Need me for go down? Getchu pau?” His eyes moved from my eyes to my lips, down to my shoulders, down to my breasts, my stomach, further down still. Where his eyes went, one of his fingers soon followed. I exhale sharply. “You like?” “Yeah,” I said. “I like.” “You like tongue?” I nodded. I might be a stupid bitch sometimes but I’m not a stupid bitch. He pulled the joint away from lips, replaced it with a kiss, and then buried his head underneath the covers. I finished well before the joint did. I lay there, breathing hard, as he re-adjusted himself next to me and smoked the rest of the weed. He started talking to me. Quiet and soft. I closed my eyes and let his voice fill the darkness. He’d been married once. The same day he turned eighteen, he went to the courthouse with a neighbor girl he’d been in love with since he was a kid. She asked for a divorce six months later and moved to the mainland with a guy in the army. She was the first knife in that tattoo. The second was a woman he rushed into thing with while he was still heartbroken. Dated her for three years until she cleared out their checking account and moved to Las Vegas. “Jesus,” I said. “That’s depressing as poo poo. You tell every girl you gently caress that story?” “Nah,” he said. “Neva once before.” “Bullshit.” “Swears. You da first. I mean, first after laying pipe.” “Lucky me,” I said. “You da one wen say it stupid. Not stupid. Just…” “I said it was loving ugly.” He laughed at that. Oh, he laughed at that. “What?” I said. “Now,” he said. “Now I know you cum plenny times! You stay one bitch cause you tink you go fall in love with me, yeah? No sked ‘em, girl, come get ‘em!” “I’m calling a loving Uber,” I said. “Ayy, babe-” But that was it. That was all I needed. That was enough for a fight to be picked. And pick it I did. Got dressed. Said some ugly things. Said some hurtful things. Left. As the Uber pulled out, I glanced through the rear windshield and saw Joey standing in the front doorway. He hadn’t even put on shorts. He just wrapped his bedsheets around his waist. He looked… strangely amused by the whole situation. “Dick,” I said to myself. It wasn’t until I arrived at my apartment that I realized I’d left my keys back at his. Worse yet, it started raining and I didn’t have an awning to huddle underneath so I got into my new Uber soaking wet and shivering. That was fun. When we arrived, I asked him to wait a minute. That I just needed to grab my keys and then we could be on our way. Joey answered the door with a grin. I shook my head. “Nope,” I said. “I didn’t miss you already. I just left my keys here.” “Mmmm, accident, yeah?” “Yes,” I said. “Let me in so I can look for them.” He crossed his arms, his muscular frame filling the doorway. He grinned down at me. “Gonna need one ting from ya first, yeah?” “What do you want? A kiss? loving pervert.” He scoffed. “One please, please.” “Honestly, Joey, I’d rather loving kiss you than say ‘please.’” He shrugged. “Aight.” And.. I don’t know… Maybe it was because I was still a little drunk. Maybe it’s because I was a little high. Maybe it’s because he was hot and he legit hosed me good. But I kissed him. I even let him swoop me. I had one left up in the air and everything. And it was a really nice kiss. And I thought it might be nice to kiss him a second time. And then I was naked again and I was looking at that dumb tattoo but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pick a fight or not. I traced the last of the three knives with my fingertip. I kiss Joey’s collarbone. Right above the hilt. “So who was she?” I asked. “I don’t know yet,” he said. “Only got da two broken hearts but artist wen talk symmetry or some poo poo. I say, ‘Sure, ainokea. Go for broke.’” He laughed. “I hope it’s not you.” “Same!” I said, cracking a smile. “I don’t know if I could, like, emotionally or spiritually handle being represented on an ex’s body as a knife through his loving heart. That’s insane.” I pursed my lips. I don’t know why I said it but then I said, “I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry that happened to you.” Joey nodded. “Yeah. Me too.” He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “I’m sorry he hurt you.” “Who?” “Whoeva,” he said. “Whoeva wen make you all…” He waved his hand in a circle. “... lolo.” “Crazy” I said. “Yeah. Me too. Thanks.”
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Apr 1, 2024 07:42
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[pic WIP] (working title:) Synergize & Succeed: The Wolfpack Hustle Strategic Alignment Challenge #finance #crypto #hustlehardplayhard #bonertime Week six oh nine? Nice. Yo team, what's poppin'? Before we dive into this power pow-wow, let's remember we're not just lone wolves, we're a lone wolf pack, baby! And I wanna hear those howls loud and clear. Howl if ya feel me! Hell yeah. Alright, today's agenda is packed with juicy opportunities for us to flex our core competencies and drive strategic alignment across the board. So let's touch base, synergize, and loving crush it. Last week, we were vibin' hard and staying true to our hustle. This week, we're taking it up a notch. No, double it. We're taking it up two loving notches. See, through radical thought partnerships and lightning-fast synergization, we're gonna spin our golden bullshit to platinum King Kong poo poo like the five-star wolf hustlers we are. Howl if you're feelin' me! Hell yeah. Now, about the word count. We need to make magic but we gotta keep things tight for the investors. 500 seems like a solid number, right? Let's go with 500 words. Scratch that, from now on, it's five hundred BONERS 'cause working with you wolves gets me ROCK loving HARD. So, 500 boners due Saturday at midnight EST, got it? And speaking of staying on your bullshit, here's the deal for day one: when you sign up, drop a synopsis of your hustle for someone else to vibe with, and pick up someone else's hustle to keep things fresh. Oh, and let's keep those synopses under, say, 10 boners. Lean and mean, baby, that's how lone wolf packs hustle. I'll even throw one in myself 'cause I'm not your loving boss. I'm your loving leader, feel me? Hell yeah. And you know every day I'm gonna be bringing some new ways to innovate the game. So... Stay tuned. Stay fresh. Stay on that grind.™️
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Apr 3, 2024 00:10
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leaders me hustlers beep-beep car is go +500, +300, can't lose as long as crits are completed shwinnebego +500 chili baka of lathspell + 50 thranguy +100 crabrock juggalo baby coffin hawklad ...you? vibes -- pick your favorite! hot, emotionally damaged people need therapy, do drugs time travel real estate ventures ayahuasca carbon coins: connect. transform. synervate. buying up tp and sitting on that poo poo this astronaut picture dead as gently caress astronauts gamifying, monetizing, and parasocializing the revolution the lost-and-found box as the junction of timelines key opinion liters, advanced metrics for unlocking market trends do everything too fast and gently caress it up, for the shareholders uplifted panda bears are great pets. until they aren't. disrupt the paradigm! 3D-printed custom genitalia. upgrade your milk game with whale. 50% fat. serious flavor. Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at 17:02 on Apr 4, 2024 |
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Apr 3, 2024 00:10
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 Shiiiiiiiiiit. Team, listen up! I had a lightning bolt of inspiration strike me during my brainstorm sesh, and let me tell ya, it was electrifying! We're gonna need to hustle on this one, so here's the deal: if you jump on board in the next twelve hours, you're getting a bonus 500 boner allowance to play with. That's right, consider it a turbo boost for your creativity engine. Let's seize this opportunity and make some serious loving moves!
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Apr 3, 2024 00:14
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Strange Cares posted:I'm sorry, I have no idea what the prompt is here. Can someone translate this? Alright, so picture this: we're gearing up for a high-energy competition where we're all about teamwork and making big moves. Imagine we're a wolf pack of lone wolves, not just lone wolves but a pack, and we're ready to loving howl together! This week is all about seizing some awesome opportunities and showing off your skills to the max. Last week, we were on fire, but this week? We're talking radical collaboration and lightning-fast innovation to take our game to the next level. So when you sign up, drop a quick summary of your vibe for someone else to tackle. Just keep that summary to under 10 boners, though, cause we're all about being lean and mean here. Your story will be based off someone else's vibe. It's your call on the specific vibe, though, because I'm not bossing you. I'm facilitating your success. And hey, if you jump on board in the next... uh... ten hours, you get an extra 500 boners to play with. It's all about seizing the moment and making some serious waves. Got it? Hell yeah. So... Stay tuned. Stay fresh. Stay on that grind.™️
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Apr 3, 2024 02:27
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shwinnebego posted:oh uhhh i misunderstood, i thought i was like generating my own vibe based on someone else's vibe You, specifically, can add another vibe but you gotta use two vibes
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Apr 3, 2024 02:35
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shwinnebego posted:can i just use the vibe i proposed along with the vibe it was responding to You got a crown, wear it
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Apr 3, 2024 03:30
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Hey lones wolves, how's the hunt? Crushing it? Awesome! Me? Just back from hot yoga and I had an epiphany that was so drat frosty, I had to crank up the loving heat! Enter "Strategic Risk Editing." I don't want you just firing off your submissions Sunday night. Let's level up together. Give and receive feedback, feel me? We're talking teamwork, baby! A rising tide lifts all yachts, and I want to see a fleet of lone wolves dominating the scene. THIS IS A LIMITED TIME OFFER, folks, so by midnight tonight, let the team know how many stories you are going precrit. You get a bonus 100 boners for each one you do. If someone joins the team after midnight, well, they've missed the boat and the rewards that come with it! Oh, and by the way, participation is mandatory. We're all in this together, wolves. Let's make it happen! Gimme those numbers declared by midnight EST! And, as always... Stay tuned. Stay fresh. Stay on that grind.™️
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Apr 3, 2024 17:31
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Woah! Is it the police or my ex-wife banging on my door? Ha ha ha, neither, its you loving wolves howling for more work and I'm all ears for it. The hustle with this pack is real as gently caress and I'm vibing with it hard. You got the ingredients, I got the pot, let's whip up this gumbo, baby! Until midnight tonight EST, every extra hustle you submit earns you a sweet 50 boner bonus to play with. Of course, with alpha status comes epic accountability and I like my gumbo with some kick. Add to the pot and, at the deadline, I'll give you a spoonful of spicy flashrule equal and worthy to your contribution. Also, don't forget to call out the numbers of stories you're going to crit! That deadline is concurrent with this one! Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Apr 3, 2024 |
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Apr 3, 2024 21:40
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Hey there, wolves. Gotta admit, last night had me pretty red hot. Just one of you stepped up to the plat for the MANDATORY precrit declaration. I was about to go full apocalypse, lock the doors, light the office on fire, and let fate handle who is employed tomorrow. But then... But then... This morning, while I'm pumping iron with my PT Samurai (ex-Navy SEAL, total badass, awesome dude) this guy drops a wisdom bomb like it's straight nothing. Tells me our fuel decides our ride quality. That one of the most important things we can do for our health is be intentional with what we eat. And I'm like, drat straight! I gotta talk to the team about this! We gotta feed our minds right to get the good stuff out. No room for negativity today, wolves, only raw, radical positivity. So, no, I'm not literally torching the office today. Instead, beep-beep car is go, for doing it right, congrats, you're the man! Promoted to assistant manager – you can't lose this week, my dude.* *unless you don't do those crits in which case I'm going to bring forth the fires of hell Hell yeah! Positivity vibes only! I'm feeling it! I'm digging the rush! You feeling me, too, wolves? Howl for me if you feel me! Hell yeah. You know what? We need more of that fuel, more of that hustle. Everyone can pitch in an extra story today (stick to your word count) and that story's got immunity from losing. Let's loving goooooo
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Apr 4, 2024 15:07
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Thranguy posted:In. Oh, I got a flash to get your engine turning, baby! Integrate a dialogue snippet where one of your characters drops a classic finance line, like 'Buy low, sell high,' 'The trend is your friend,' 'Stack those racks, baby' or 'Cash is king.' Make sure it's synergized with the narrative flow and let's watch those boners work like a well-diversified portfolio.
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Apr 4, 2024 22:13
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Hey team, my bad for the radio silence. Got caught up in a little mix-up with the boys in blue over some 'fraud' nonsense. But hey, silver lining, right? The cell's been a think tank, and I've got game-changing insights to drop on ya. We're talking turbocharging here. We need more, and we need it yesterday. We're burning that midnight oil, baby! Deadline's getting a facelift – from midnight to 9 am EST. Unlimited submissions, let's crank it up to 11! Here's the kicker: mix two vibes, double your word count. That's right, double trouble, double the hustle. And hey, step up with at least two extra stories, and you're gunning for a promotion, my man. Let's make moves and let's keep me out on the streets with you loving wolves! Howl of you hear me!
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Apr 8, 2024 04:17
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Closing down shop for a hot sec, wolves.
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Apr 8, 2024 14:05
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Yo wolves, got news – good and bad. Good? Yours truly's dialing in from a private jet to the Maldives. No extradition, baby! Liquidated assets and I'm cashing out for an early retirement! Hell yeah! Bad? Wellll, no paycheck for ya. And the company? Folded. But hey, what's money compared to the bonds we've built, right? Anyway, vibes are peaking and quaaludes are hitting. My guy juggalo baby coffin (yeah, of "Gunhead Chronicles: Future Homosex Legends" fame) is your go-to for any questions about the future. He's the champ now. Peace! Crits will come later today. I was the only judge so be a sport and crit a couple if you have some free time
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Apr 8, 2024 14:57
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 22:28 |
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Sunbirds Do I fully understand what this story is about? I do not. Do I like it? Certainly. Your writing tickles a funny part of my brain. There's poetry to it. Other judges might disparage this for being a little opaque but I’m a fan. Nicely done. Gunhead Chronicles: Future Homosex Legends This is an absolute dogshit title and a wonderful, wonderful story. It is tightly written from start to finish. Not a word out of place. The world building is strong enough for my imagination to create the story in my mind without getting bogged down with any unnecessary details. Great hook. Excellent ending. The “this was sex, not suicide” is brilliant and striking. Huge fan (even if, again, the title is dumb). Publishable imho. 1 E & A An interesting and often unthought part of judging Thunderdome is the order in which stories are presented. I found this story to be pretty bad but I loved the story that preceded it. So how much do I really dislike it and how much of that is because of the drop in quality? Hard to say, hard to know. Maybe this is fixable with more words. The weird panda-that’s-kinda-like-JK-Simmons-in-Whiplash is certainly a fun concept but we don’t really get a feel for what’s going on until you’ve spent 70 percent of your word count. The ending doesn’t make sense to me. Final verdict: fine enough idea but its crammed into too small a wordcount for it to really work. Post Judging Edit: This was going to be the week’s loss but you submitted during immunity. Thank the person in discord with the Thousand Ants avatar for giving me the flash rule idea. Duty Free Well-written. No real issues here save that it doesn’t “do” much beyond being a fun idea. Which there is nothing inherently wrong with. I’m not someone who believes that sories necessarily need conflict or character development but this one doesn’t particularly have either. In any case, I read it. I liked it. That’s a solid accomplishment. a space man lost is a space man returned What a deliciously bizarre story. I like space ghosts as a concept. The ending is killer. I think the opening needs to be revised (the bait and switch doesn’t quite work) but the ending is killer. Love, love, love the ending. Well done. Post Judging Edit: I forgot to give this an HM. I properly bequeath it to you now. Red Stars Your hook here needs work. This story is a little bogged down by all of the jargon. I need something earlier that grabs my attention and holds onto it. You work yourself up to a nice ending but the journey, as they say, isn’t necessarily worth the reward. Not great. Not terrible. I’d take a couple more passes at it and try to pin down what this story is really about and what makes it worth reading and then build from there. ANACOOOIIIIINNNDAAAAA There are some really solid bits here: “a solutions guy” and “Enlightenment Quant”. The title is a bit silly but I don’t have an issue with it. ANACOINDA is actually a solid crypto name. The three person dialogue is a bit forced and you need a longer word count to flesh out the characters. The ending is predictable to a fault -- I had a rough idea of how this was ending well before I got there. I’m not saying every story needs a twist, in fact, solid foreshadowing is often a hallmark of good writing, but this just didn’t work for me. The Moth Equation What is this story about? Sure, you could reply ‘a guy turns into a moth and splats himself.’ But what is it really about? I’d say you could boil it down to ‘an rear end in a top hat gets his comeuppance.’ In that case, you should open not with a bit about moths but with the dude being a dick. In my mind, you could do a little rearranging of this story and have it immediately become tighter. I’d recommend opening with “Dan sighed. Maybe 'tit perkiness quotient' wasn’t the best metric to use in his hiring practices”. Let us know a) this dude sucks and b) he’s upset about something. Then you could reveal he’s upset about moths. Then you could reveal why he’s upset about moths. Each additional sentences builds on the former, both in terms of world creation and furthering the plot. The final “splat” ending doesn’t work. A little subtly can go a long way. Perhaps a last second realization from his human brain that he’s flying full speed into a solid object and can’t stop? Something to think about. Orbital Dynamics Dead as gently caress astronauts should be a prompt because its been both popular this week and mostly quite well done. This falls into the well done camp. You might want to change “He couldn't hurt us but he could annoy the hell out of us” to something a little less concrete since he most definitely can. But, yeah, solid all the way through. The communication through text is quite good. Well done. Post Judge Edit: I forgot to give this an HM. I properly bequeath it to you now. Said the Salesman Wonderfully out there. I imagine you had a great time writing this. I certainly enjoyed reading it. I don’t really have any notes.
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Apr 11, 2024 20:22
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