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Rags to Liches posted:-----SOME TIME LATER---- a quest to replace the vase another adventurer smashed earlier an entire game where you get to places after the real hero and have to fix all the stuff they hosed up
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Jan 12, 2024 19:14
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| # ? May 13, 2024 09:39 |
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Look, this might be the only time *you've* come through this town and accidentally whacked one of us townsfolk in pursuit of a villainous rat or whathaveyou, but if you lived here you'd realize you're just the zillonth hero today that's done that. So you can understand why everyone in town suddenly becomes aggressive and the guards try to drag you off to prison. And deep down I think you do understand, because "Oops, sorry mate!" isn't even in your dialog options. |
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Jan 12, 2024 19:46
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Are you certain that you're ready to leave this area? You will not be able to return. Do not ask me how I know this. |
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Jan 12, 2024 23:57
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*cough* *cough* I really need that medicine soon... |
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Jan 13, 2024 01:06
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Even though the world is infested with gut eating demons, you still need to pay for that sword! |
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Jan 13, 2024 01:27
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Buttchocks posted:*cough* *cough* I really need that medicine soon... |
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Jan 13, 2024 02:04
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RavenousScoot posted:a quest to replace the vase another adventurer smashed earlier Instead of the Hero's Journey it's the Repairman's Journey. |
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Jan 13, 2024 02:43
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*gets stabbed in the neck 8 times in a row, falls to knees panting* "phew! good sparring, kid. come back to the arena sometime to learn new skills" |
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Jan 13, 2024 04:17
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i'm the only bachelor in the village and i am too embarrassed to declare my love for the only other girl in the village. will you deliver this anonymous love note to her? |
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Jan 13, 2024 04:22
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Yes, at this inn all guests sleep in the same communal bedroom with like eight single beds. This is normal. However, I cannot stress enough that despite our current vacancies, all four of you must share the same bed. |
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Jan 13, 2024 06:47
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I can't find my account password. Have you seen a post-it note lying around? |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:11
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Buttchocks posted:I can't find my account password. Have you seen a post-it note lying around? it's on their back, but if they feel it removed they freak out, so you have to swap it with a kick me sign while they're sleeping
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Jan 13, 2024 18:22
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*standing guard outside of a flag-locked building* *gang of heavily armed murder hobos rocks up, demanding entry* "nobody gets in without the boss's say-so, and the boss ain't here, so scram!" *they turn around and walk away* *a little pee sneaks out* "Holy poo poo I can't believe that worked. " |
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Jan 13, 2024 18:33
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gordon r freeman clubbed me in the ehad. c can't rememebr my kids na ems now. the lawyers ssaid i might ahhve a case but then |
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Jan 15, 2024 06:49
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:gordon r freeman clubbed me in the ehad. c can't rememebr my kids na ems now. the lawyers ssaid i might ahhve a case but then Turns out short term memory loss is the real reason the scientists are so repetitive "Ah, Gordon, it's good to see you!" *CLONG* "...Ah, Gordon, it's good to see you!" |
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Jan 15, 2024 20:20
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I used to be a real blacksmith. Worked hard at slowly crafting custom gear every day. Learned a lot. People liked my gear. Then this fuckin' dude rolls into town and every morning he goes out the gate and comes back to my shop in the evening and drops a dozen pieces of chain mail, fourteen swords, nine daggers, and somehow five war hammers. Asks for like two gold per piece. What am I gonna say? I clean them up, sharpen a few edges, and make bank. |
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Jan 16, 2024 06:29
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WithoutTheFezOn posted:I used to be a real blacksmith. Worked hard at slowly crafting custom gear every day. Learned a lot. People liked my gear. So I says to him, "best I can do is 10 gold, mate". And d'you know what? He doesn't even blink an eye, doesn't try to bargain, nuffin. So I takes the gear, slide him the coins, and, looking him dead in the eye, write one-hundred-forty GP on it and put it into the display case. And, that's not even the best part! He says to me, like nothing just transpired, "I'll take one of them breastplates" and hands over 140 gold! Looks at it, says something like "gently caress! loving controls!" and then he asks me what I'll give him for it. Absolute loving nutter. I gave him 10 gold for it, of course! |
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Jan 16, 2024 06:45
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Finger Prince posted:So I says to him, "best I can do is 10 gold, mate". And d'you know what? He doesn't even blink an eye, doesn't try to bargain, nuffin. So I takes the gear, slide him the coins, and, looking him dead in the eye, write one-hundred-forty GP on it and put it into the display case. Big bloke? Massive horned helmet, wearing what can best be described as fetish wear? He's been trying to jump onto the roof of my shop for the past hour. Hasn't managed it yet. Keeps trying though. Haven't bothered to call the guard, because I'm kind of curious to see if he makes it. Don't know what he'll do if he's ever successful. Nowt but bird shite up there. |
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Jan 16, 2024 07:03
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What was that noise? ... ... Must have been the wind ... Have you ever eaten at Dunkers Diner? Best chow in the Citadel. ... ...
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Jan 16, 2024 07:07
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Finger Prince posted:Big bloke? Massive horned helmet, wearing what can best be described as fetish wear? Oh that guy? Yeah, saw him trying to swing an axe way too heavy for him and fell flat on his rear end. Can’t believe this is our Dragonborn. We’re doomed. |
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Jan 16, 2024 18:12
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Oh no, I left that important document file on top of the snack machine yesterday! I tried to get to the snack machine, but maintenance still hasn't taken care of those loose power cables blocking the hallway. The water cooler spilled and now there's water all over the hallway floor. The creature is loose in the building! I think it ate the security guards. Bullets don't seem to hurt it at all. What will we do??? The snack machine is out of corn crisps!? What a day! |
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Jan 16, 2024 18:31
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Buttchocks posted:Oh no, I left that important document file on top of the snack machine yesterday! Oh great, and now the lights are flickering! Can't believe this! |
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Jan 16, 2024 19:37
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says 'je ne comprende pas' in some obscure dialect
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Jan 16, 2024 22:37
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*sings a song about plowing whores*
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Jan 16, 2024 23:01
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Why does this guy keep giving me all of his rusted bits of goblin armor? I'm a baker... Better still, why am I accepting and paying for them? My wife is going to kill me...
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Jan 17, 2024 05:50
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hmm, i could move this boulder if i had some WEED. ... now, where did I leave it? hmm, i could move this boulder if i had some WEED. ... now, where did I leave it?
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Jan 18, 2024 16:47
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*calmly reminding the adventurers that Dave is the guy to talk to if they need a new sword, even though they have been going to Dave for months, and they have never stopped and spoken to me even once*
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Jan 18, 2024 16:50
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| # ? May 13, 2024 09:39 |
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You can’t eat that! |
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Jan 18, 2024 17:17
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