NFL Wildcard weekend aftermath: 1000 yard stare.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Wildcard weekend aftermath: 1000 yard stare.

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Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Kalli posted:

Yeah, like could Mac have reached the lofty heights of Ryan Tannehill? Yeah probably.

Print the... shirts??

# ? Jan 16, 2024 19:17

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 01:26

Docjowles: Apr 9, 2009

Kalli posted:

I mean I just want to say, don't give your young QB Matt Patricia as a coach.

Look at what he just did to said Eagles!

You know that meme template where a guy's in a meeting and his idea is so dumb they throw him out the window? That should be the response next time anyone suggests giving Patricia a job even football-adjacent. Like don't even let him empty the office trash cans.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 19:47

CapnAndy: Feb 27, 2004; Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

https://x.com/adamschefter/status/1747236250736595250?s=46&t=I-gsjpvNkUNcOBofs8OOkQ

Kelce I'm so sorry

Tom Tucker posted:

Can someone help me confirm my current list?

Miami Dolphins: Frauds.
Kansas City Chiefs: Frauds - temporary reprieve.
Cleveland Browns: Frauds.
Houston Texans: OK.
Buffalo Bills: Frauds, but less so.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Frauds.
Dallas Cowboys: Super Frauds.
Green Bay Packers: Good for them but probably still frauds (TBD).
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Overperformers - precludes Fraud status.
Philadelphia Eagles: Logo appears in dictionary for word "Fraud".
LA Rams: Frauds.
Detroit Lions: We're proud of you.

By my count that's a wild card weekend with 8/12 teams being Frauds that has to be some kind of record right?

I really don't think the Eagles coming into the playoffs could be considered frauds, they were quite clearly raw dogshit and were fooling nobody

# ? Jan 16, 2024 19:48

rjmccall: Sep 7, 2007; no worries friend; Fun Shoe

Docjowles posted:

You know that meme template where a guy's in a meeting and his idea is so dumb they throw him out the window? That should be the response next time anyone suggests giving Patricia a job even football-adjacent. Like don't even let him empty the office trash cans.

The guy in that meme is always right

# ? Jan 16, 2024 19:59

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

The joke is that he's the only one speaking to what the consumer actually wants, an idea so offensive in corporate America it immediately leads to his untimely death.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 20:01

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER; Ultra Carp

MJeff posted:

The joke is that he's the only one speaking to what the consumer actually wants, an idea so offensive in corporate America it immediately leads to his untimely death.

technically speaking the original comic is about Nintendo so it's actually about corporate Japan :eng101:

# ? Jan 16, 2024 20:12

post hole digger: Mar 21, 2011

Stunt Rock posted:

https://x.com/rgiii/status/1747105169018404916?s=46

RGIII a true poster

Follow up:

https://x.com/rgiii/status/1747112620383961579?s=46

lmao

# ? Jan 16, 2024 20:38

post hole digger: Mar 21, 2011

The337th posted:

if we're nitpicking then RGIII's career starts at Ownership Malpractice

you can put Cam in that bucket too

# ? Jan 16, 2024 20:42

Kalli: Jun 2, 2001

Looking at something as the Eagles were 10-1 at some point has been repeated ad nauseum, but at the time... the Buccaneers were 4-7.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 20:46

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Kalli posted:

Looking at something as the Eagles were 10-1 at some point has been repeated ad nauseum, but at the time... the Buccaneers were 4-7.

3 - 1, then 4-7, then finished 9-8.

3 - 1 stretch, followed by 1-6 stretch, followed by 5-1 stretch.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:10

Relentlessboredomm: Oct 15, 2006; It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

wandler20 posted:

3 - 1, then 4-7, then finished 9-8.

3 - 1 stretch, followed by 1-6 stretch, followed by 5-1 stretch.

now a 6-1 stretch

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:11

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Extend Todd Bowles

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:13

Relentlessboredomm: Oct 15, 2006; It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

really queer Christmas posted:

Extend Todd Bowles

no just keep him on his 5 yr contract and fire him when he inevitably falls back to being his same old self next year

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:15

really queer Christmas: Apr 22, 2014

Relentlessboredomm posted:

no just keep him on his 5 yr contract and fire him when he inevitably falls back to being his same old self next year

Extend him to 10 years and give him GM powers

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:22

Relentlessboredomm: Oct 15, 2006; It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

really queer Christmas posted:

Extend him to 10 years and give him GM powers

lmao

i will give him credit for hiring Canales who's been a solid OC but the new OC and the GM's player acquisition is probably most of why this has been a decent year in spite of our massive dead cap hit

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:24

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

wandler20 posted:

3 - 1, then 4-7, then finished 9-8.

3 - 1 stretch, followed by 1-6 stretch, followed by 5-1 stretch.

The Packers had a similar path.

The new meta???!!

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:34

davecrazy: Nov 25, 2004; I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.

The 2011 Giants were trailblazers.

My goto for late season collapse is the 08 Giants. Destroyed everyone then Plax shot himself and the defense disintegrated due to injuries.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 21:46

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Relentlessboredomm posted:

lmao

i will give him credit for hiring Canales who's been a solid OC but the new OC and the GM's player acquisition is probably most of why this has been a decent year in spite of our massive dead cap hit

Canales is going to get head coach offers pretty soon if Baker keeps playing well, I�m not sure Bowles can pull another good coordinator out of his hat.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 22:04

Relentlessboredomm: Oct 15, 2006; It's Sic Semper Tyrannis. You said, "Ever faithful terrible lizard."

YOLOsubmarine posted:

Canales is going to get head coach offers pretty soon if Baker keeps playing well, I�m not sure Bowles can pull another good coordinator out of his hat.

oh he absolutely cannot. I still prefer we just make Canales the HC and invite Bowles to retire

# ? Jan 16, 2024 22:21

Jean-Paul Shartre: Jan 16, 2015; this sentence no verb

Relentlessboredomm posted:

oh he absolutely cannot. I still prefer we just make Canales the HC and invite Bowles to retire

They�d have to push Bruce out of the �Senior Consultant� office to give it to Bowles though

# ? Jan 16, 2024 22:28

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Jean-Paul Shartre posted:

They�d have to push Bruce out of the �Senior Consultant� office to give it to Bowles though

Bruce and Todd can be senior consultants together!

# ? Jan 16, 2024 22:29

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Looking forward to the Bucs having five co-senior consultants as the future sixth goes 5-12 as a HC in 2036.

# ? Jan 16, 2024 22:44

Pontius Pilate: Jul 25, 2006; Crucify, Whale, Crucify

Is Bruce still a ~senior consultant~ for them? He was on the manningcast during their game which uh doesn�t suggest too much involvement anymore. Not that he ever probably had much, but think he�s at best collecting paychecks level (not a bad gig at all to be clear)

# ? Jan 17, 2024 01:51

solarjetman: Jan 27, 2001; Fun Shoe

wandler20 posted:

3 - 1, then 4-7, then finished 9-8.

3 - 1 stretch, followed by 1-6 stretch, followed by 5-1 stretch.

The Broncos had a 1-5 stretch, followed by a 6-1 stretch, followed by a 1-3 stretch.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 03:39

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

davecrazy posted:

Yeah, the Giants defense ended Joe Montanas 49ers career and Steve Young and Rodger Craig couldn�t run out the clock with the lead and under 3 mins to go. Fumbled the ball directly to LT.

It was glorious. In the immortal words of Pat Summeral �There will be no three-pete!�

So 9/11 and Iraq and everything is the fault of the New York Football Giants. Glad to see you admit it.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 03:50

RC and Moon Pie: May 5, 2011

Pontius Pilate posted:

Is Bruce still a ~senior consultant~ for them? He was on the manningcast during their game which uh doesn�t suggest too much involvement anymore. Not that he ever probably had much, but think he�s at best collecting paychecks level (not a bad gig at all to be clear)

On the 2-point conversion try, Arians straight up told Philly what to run because TB had trouble with it. Of course Philly went with the tush push and got creamed.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 04:20

Impossibly Perfect Sphere: Nov 6, 2002; They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

So 9/11 and Iraq and everything is the fault of the New York Football Giants. Glad to see you admit it.

The Bills beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl and Timothy McVeigh never blows up the Alfred P. Murrah building.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 04:36

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

RC and Moon Pie posted:

On the 2-point conversion try, Arians straight up told Philly what to run because TB had trouble with it. Of course Philly went with the tush push and got creamed.

I mean, this was still not a bad bet to make. As to the play call at least, maybe just taking the extra point was better.

But it's not like they have had trouble with that play all that often. None of this ended up mattering all that much with the way the game went.

# ? Jan 17, 2024 04:40