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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Wildcard weekend aftermath: 1000 yard stare.
 
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

KingKapalone posted:

I knew the Eagles got really bad somehow, but why do people think they turned on the coach? He was at fault for the first losses and that led to the rest and now he might get fired?
Because they showed up having already surrendered and haven't tried for one second of the entire game, and this has been true for weeks. Eagles football games have been lost_the_locker_room.mpg since at least mid-December.

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:02
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# ¿ May 14, 2024 07:06
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

KingKapalone posted:

What did Siriani do though?
Hired Brian Johnson, Sean Desai, and Matt Patricia, looked at Matt Patricia and thought "hmm yes this will be a defensive upgrade", presided over a 5 out of 6 game losing skid that sent the Eagles from a #2 seed to limping into the playoffs, whatever leadership failure has caused the team to completely quit on him to the extent that they showed up already in surrender mode to a playoff game.

Why the gently caress should he keep his job after this miserable display, that's the question.

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:10
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
gently caress the 49ers, go Lions I guess

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:17
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.
I'm not even mad at the Bucs, honestly. It could've been anyone. 11 cardboard cutouts of Ronald McDonald attached to Roombas would still have panicked Johnson into abandoning the run.

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:18
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

wandler20 posted:

Looks like Jason Kelces last game.
I really hope not. I said this in the NFCE thread too, nobody deserves to go out like this, but especially not him.

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:24
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

wandler20 posted:

That defense is old as hell too.

https://twitter.com/AlbertBreer/status/1747100853595431326?t=Fh9OQHYD2dNY5rKKLyaGfw&s=19
This tweet is nonsense.

There is no back 7 on the Eagles, hasn't been for at least two years. Last year we just covered it up by actually loving blitzing with our extremely talented linemen

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:31
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Asproigerosis posted:

It has been concerning that we've been drafting nothing but dline which couldn't pressure anything this season because I don't think you can just play rush 4 every play and expect pressure but also lmao still having a nonexistant secondary despite no blitzing.
it's the most predictable thing in the world, drafting nothing but elite dline doesn't loving matter when your brand new defensive coordinator and then old, rapey defensive coordinator would prefer to hang them back and instead rest the entire game on the shoulders of an extremely old, extremely bad secondary.

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 05:36
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# ¿ May 14, 2024 07:06
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CapnAndy
Feb 27, 2004

Some teeth long for ripping, gleaming wet from black dog gums. So you keep your eyes closed at the end. You don't want to see such a mouth up close. before the bite, before its oblivion in the goring of your soft parts, the speckled lips will curl back in a whinny of excitement. You just know it.

Happy Noodle Boy posted:

https://x.com/adamschefter/status/1747236250736595250?s=46&t=I-gsjpvNkUNcOBofs8OOkQ
:( Kelce I'm so sorry

Tom Tucker posted:

Can someone help me confirm my current list?

Miami Dolphins: Frauds.
Kansas City Chiefs: Frauds - temporary reprieve.
Cleveland Browns: Frauds.
Houston Texans: OK.
Buffalo Bills: Frauds, but less so.
Pittsburgh Steelers: Frauds.
Dallas Cowboys: Super Frauds.
Green Bay Packers: Good for them but probably still frauds (TBD).
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Overperformers - precludes Fraud status.
Philadelphia Eagles: Logo appears in dictionary for word "Fraud".
LA Rams: Frauds.
Detroit Lions: We're proud of you.

By my count that's a wild card weekend with 8/12 teams being Frauds that has to be some kind of record right?
I really don't think the Eagles coming into the playoffs could be considered frauds, they were quite clearly raw dogshit and were fooling nobody

* # ¿ Jan 16, 2024 19:48
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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Wildcard weekend aftermath: 1000 yard stare.