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Post about infamously bad games you played more than as a one-off joke or more than you just know through an AVGN video or whatever. There's not much I can say about how much Bubsy 3D sucks that hasn't been said a thousand times, but if you don't know, here's a taster menu: -It was so bad they had to misquote a game review by cutting it off halfway so they had something good to put on the box -It was a platformer with tank controls -Said platforms were literal grey blocks floating in the void above levels -Said levels were abstract masses of low-poly shapes only textured solid colors or checker patterns (this was phoning it in compared to anything at the time) -Moving forward sent you flying like you were on ice, including the sliding to a stop -The camera would disorientingly swing between directly behind you while running, and directly above you when jumping so that you couldn't see much of anything -The much of anything you couldn't see included projectiles flying from offscreen enemies that were invulnerable half the time and the other half of the time they still felt so since their hitbox to goomba-stomp them was usually busted -The main character ceaselessly spewed one liners, usually while he was sitting on his rear end after being hit (the camera flips around to his face to rub it in and make you sick while that happens) I was given the game as a small enough child that I developed stockholme syndrome before even comprehending it was all that bad. I figured out ways around the jank the way you figure out how to get past legitimate challenge in a good game. Being able to counter the acutely lovely aspects of it, I kind of secretly like the strange, open levels with the straightforward goal of exploring them for two rockets and an exit. The developers not being able to handle any more complicated gimmicks for the most part kind of works, and it's like a way worse version of Jumping Flash, a game that released two years earlier. I'd still never recommend it, but I've 100%'d it. A game most people wouldn't dare to simply finish. You know, instead of something good I should have played instead from the era, like Symphony of the Night.
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Jan 22, 2024 03:35
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Postal 2 parodies the idea of video games producing mass shooters, and it naturally does so by being as edgy as possible. Despite this, it gets so bizarre and outrageous, especially in the DLC that came out 12 years later out of nowhere, that it's endearing. I don't usually enjoy sandbox games or games as open as GTA or Fallout, etc, but the limitations of Postal 2 kind of work in it's favor. The small maps meant they crammed as much into every corner to make it worth wandering around, into, and onto every building for secrets and easter eggs. There was also just a lot of care put into details and what odd things you were able to interact with for the type of game it was.... Postal 3, on the other hand, had none of these redeeming qualities. It was outsourced to Russian companies who afterwards allegedly refused to provide the IP's owners with the source code or developer tools to fix it. It was so bad that the series' original developers actively dissuaded anyone from playing and would give out free keys to anyone who asked so they wouldn't have to pay for it. Hell, initially it was literally unplayable since you couldn't purchase it as nobody involved would pay to get an ESRB rating that Steam required at the time. (This was before Steam was hentai all the way down) On top of just being an offensive stream of consciousness mess of nonsense with none of the jokes landing, and on top of it having none of the care that the original had, the game was a busted mess of bugs and crashes. Despite this I ran through the entire thing (at least one playthrough, I forget if I was masochistic enough to get both endings). The absolute worst part was a boss fight against a rhino. You have to lure it into charging into obstacles, only you can't do this yourself... you know, even though you're in the arena and can get rammed... you have to use a laser pointer to lure a monkey to lure the rhino without it getting hit. The AI barely functions at the best of times for this entire series. Trying to make the monkey cooperate is near impossible, and it usually would bug out and get stuck under the arena. I'm pretty sure they recycled this boss a second time later on for good measure.
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Jan 22, 2024 03:37
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Walking to Safeway when they had a VHS and game rental service like Blockbuster to play something new, and I spotted an NES game I’d never heard of before, Taboo: The Sixth Sense. It had a mysterious gold sun on the cover and the name “Taboo” was like a naughty no-no-sounding game, but I had to rent it and try it out. It turned out to be a tarot card game that, besides you entering your name, birthdate, and gender into a password-style prompt, plays entirely by itself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5B6lME6PuvA Nine year old Werewolf was both pissed and ashamed that he walked to the store and spent some allowance money to rent Taboo. The music whips, at least. I bought it years later at a yard sale with a bunch of other NES games and still have it lol You Are A Werewolf fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Jan 22, 2024 |
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Jan 22, 2024 04:02
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starfield
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Jan 22, 2024 04:19
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Hollow Knight
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Jan 22, 2024 04:19
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kntfkr posted:Hollow Knight 
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Jan 22, 2024 04:19
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I tried Pit Fighter for the SNES multiple times at my cousin’s house, only to realize decades later that it was legitimately one of the worst SNES games ever conceived. Apparently the Genesis version was better, but Pit Fighter lives on in my mind as the worst game I’ve ever played.
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Jan 22, 2024 04:44
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 theres no image because its been delisted on steam i should have returned it but i think i was so scarred that i forgot to  this game was at least "so bad its funny for a night" level of bad. i played it with some GBS people. probably hell yeah since hes the only person in my steam list that also has this game lmao Worf fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Jan 22, 2024 |
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Jan 22, 2024 04:48
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 Jesus wept
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Jan 22, 2024 04:57
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I played the poo poo out of Shaq Fu. It was a lot of poo poo, but I played it.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:04
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The Bible posted:I played the poo poo out of Shaq Fu. I shared a pic of my shaq fu cart earlier today coincidentally. 
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Jan 22, 2024 05:06
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Past Cure (PS4) The crazy thing about this game is I think it looks really good (despite what other people say), but the 'tutorial' is a nightmare. Essentially, you have a limited amount of ammo to get through the tutorial and you have to make every shot a headshot or else you're doing to fail. Headshots in this game on the PS4 controller are extremely difficult. I'm guessing it's a game that was ported over from PC where keyboard/mouse controls were expected to be more common and targetting with those would be better. But I put a few hours in it, and it feels like some modern version of a 90s PC game where you had to figure out logic puzzles to advance.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:10
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RavenousScoot posted:Postal 2...the small maps meant they crammed as much into every corner to make it worth wandering around, into, and onto every building for secrets and easter eggs. There was also just a lot of care put into details and what odd things you were able to interact with for the type of game it was....
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Jan 22, 2024 05:12
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i used to get stuck really early on in the snes lord of the rings game and just reset it over and over again
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Jan 22, 2024 05:12
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The Bible posted:I played the poo poo out of Shaq Fu. I actually didn’t know that was a notorious bad game until way after the Sega era lol I thought it was pretty fun at the time
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Jan 22, 2024 05:22
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played a good chunk of sonic 06 with a friend taking turns each death/level and it was fun bad enough to do more than once but not enough to finish. wouldnt dream of playing it alone/sober
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Jan 22, 2024 05:25
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Worf posted:I actually didn’t know that was a notorious bad game until way after the Sega era lol It's not great by any means, but it doesn't really deserve the hate it gets. There were tons of much worse fighters at the time.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:26
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The Bible posted:It's not great by any means, but it doesn't really deserve the hate it gets. There were tons of much worse fighters at the time. I agree, it's like this with a lot of bad games. There's always tons worse but sometimes certain ones just catch the flak. Et 2600 is like this. Is it poo poo? Sure, but is it even close to the worst 2600 game? Lol no. That console had so much shovelware trash. But none will be as famous. I own a "rarer" reprint of et after the whole landfill thing.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:29
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You Are A Werewolf posted:Walking to Safeway when they had a VHS and game rental service like Blockbuster to play something new, and I spotted an NES game I’d never heard of before, Taboo: The Sixth Sense. It had a mysterious gold sun on the cover and the name “Taboo” was like a naughty no-no-sounding game, but I had to rent it and try it out. It turned out to be a tarot card game that, besides you entering your name, birthdate, and gender into a password-style prompt, plays entirely by itself. i was really scared of this game lol i thought it was haunted
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Jan 22, 2024 05:31
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a game near and dear to my heart despite not being good is Jurassic Park Chaos Island, the Jurassic Park 90s RTS, fun note, you should never build upgrades for your units because it makes them more expensive and you have to buy your human units before the mission starts so if you upgrade them too fast you can create a situation where you can only afford Jeff Goldbloom and no one else or something. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWTstJ3SkrA Mordor She Wrote fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Jan 22, 2024 |
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Jan 22, 2024 05:31
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Ive beaten both Witchaven 1 and 2 and have opinions about the fine nuanced differences between both different horrible games they are.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:36
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I bought and completed both Mario's Time Machine and Mario Is Missing. They are both in many ways baffling, tedious and underdeveloped, but: -the mushroom collection via Mode 7 surfing in Time Machine was as awesome as it was janky and unnecessary, and boy is it ever both of those latter things -the level/city themes in Missing, being region-based remixes of SMW music, were catchier and more charming than they had a right to be. They're also practically Beethoven compared to the inexplicably godawful hub/castle area themes
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Jan 22, 2024 05:51
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Mordor She Wrote posted:a game near and dear to my heart despite not being good is Jurassic Park Chaos Island, the Jurassic Park 90s RTS, fun note, you should never build upgrades for your units because it makes them more expensive and you have to buy your human units before the mission starts so if you upgrade them too fast you can create a situation where you can only afford Jeff Goldbloom and no one else or something. Oh yeah, I also technically played Jurassic park trespasser for longer than five minutes, but not much longer. In the vein of old fighting games that are bad, I played Star Wars masters of Teras kasi for probably hundreds of hours. It’s probably my most played PS1 game ever lol
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Jan 22, 2024 05:55
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Mission Impossible on N64
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Jan 22, 2024 05:59
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Mordor She Wrote posted:a game near and dear to my heart despite not being good is Jurassic Park Chaos Island, the Jurassic Park 90s RTS, fun note, you should never build upgrades for your units because it makes them more expensive and you have to buy your human units before the mission starts so if you upgrade them too fast you can create a situation where you can only afford Jeff Goldbloom and no one else or something. I beat this whole game as a kid but it's very much total rear end. Just the most barebones possible RTS game.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:59
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I actually played through and fully beat Biomutant. It was so bad that it was actually kind of fascinating.
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Jan 22, 2024 06:03
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I genuinely had fun with Castlevania II Simon's Quest
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Jan 22, 2024 06:09
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lol, I remember this. Luckily I only played an open beta or something and didn't actually buy it. The Chivalry devs fell pretty hard on their faces on that one. I played a lot of old SNES roms, good and bad. A notable example is the Home Improvement game where, as hard as I tried, I don't think I ever got past the dinosaur level.
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Jan 22, 2024 06:09
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Played Body Harvest all the way through at least 3 times as a kid
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Jan 22, 2024 06:21
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I played Driven for about 10 minutes on the GameCube then decided it should gently caress off
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Jan 22, 2024 06:32
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Elden Ring.
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Jan 22, 2024 06:37
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I got to pick out a game on the NES discount rack of Toys R Us. Skate or Die! It was impossible to see game reviews back then, especially if you didn't know about Nintendo Power. Skateboards were cool. I played the hell out of California Games on Commodore 64. This had to be cool, too. Got that exclamation point in the title. I did play a lot of this, too. This the longplay, folks. This is all there is to the game. The only thing missing is that you can move the cursor over Lester there for him to say different things in the text, the highlight being him "Dontcha like my do?" I sucked at joust. Was pretty good at the obstacle courses. The controls weren't good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBsLV6R8mkc T&C Surf Designs is only slightly better. There ws less variety - the courses only got barely longer and barely more difficult - but at least the controls and graphics were pretty decent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxmngfKrQUk
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Jan 22, 2024 06:40
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I played a couple hours of Starforge, a game that was once the second lowest rated game on steam until the company took it down entirely. For a little while I thought maybe the game would introduce some new stuff once I traveled further out, but it turns out I had seen everything in the game within like the first 5 minutes.
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Jan 22, 2024 06:44
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GTA3 was great! I bet Rockstar’s next game will be just as good… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mkxTWvtFpI
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Jan 22, 2024 06:53
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Guys I was a quality tester on Legendary The Box. It was my job to play that piece of poo poo for two months.
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Jan 22, 2024 07:16
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Sword of the Stars 2. The game released roughly... 30% feature complete I'd say. The AI doesn't actually exist they will always bankrupt themselves.
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Jan 22, 2024 07:27
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If you had a gameboy, terrible games were just a normal part of life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFnwGAqp8Mg
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Jan 22, 2024 08:14
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Settlers of Catan.
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Jan 22, 2024 08:27
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Deus Ex Invisible War It's insane how much they dropped the ball on this title. It had none of the mystique of the original and oversimplified gameplay that deviated away from everything that made Deus Ex so well liked. But I still played it all the way to the end when it was released to see what the ending was. I don't even remember anything about this game's plot Oh yeah except the game's installer would spoil the entire progression of the game for you, because it would tell you what file it was currently copying and all the map names were called like Chapter5_Cairo.map, Chapter6_Antarctica.map or whatever
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Jan 22, 2024 08:38
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Invisible War isnt a good game, but I beat it more times than the original Deus Ex. And Mankind Divided but I didnt even finish that one. Similarly my most played Devil May Cry games are DMC2 and DmC.
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Jan 22, 2024 09:15
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