UFC/MMA February: a longer tongue than himself

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC/MMA February: a longer tongue than himself

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On a scale of one to ten, how excited are you for Jack Hermansson vs Joe Pyfer? This poll is closed.
I have mixed feelings about the dilution of the roster but I like up-and-coming fighters	1	3.23%
Remember when Jack Hermansson heel hooked Kelvin Gastelum! That was cool! Oh my god that was four years ago	10	32.26%
The Apex is the nadir of martial arts and we never truly left its darkened clutches	6	19.35%
Is Joe Pyfer, like, a thing	6	19.35%
3	8	25.81%
Total:	31 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

henkman: Oct 8, 2008

CarlCX posted:

There is a possibility that Ryan Bader could become the genuine #1 heavyweight on the planet, and some terrible part of me craves this.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 20:19

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 02:09

Lid: Feb 18, 2005; And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.

CarlCX posted:

There is a possibility that Ryan Bader could become the genuine #1 heavyweight on the planet, and some terrible part of me craves this.

I want the dark future where some nerds talk about Ryan Bader in the same hushed tones as Fedor.

# ? Feb 22, 2024 21:51

kensei: Dec 27, 2007; He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!

Lid posted:

I want the dark future where some nerds talk about Ryan Bader in the same hushed tones as Fedor.

Oh my goodness, can you even imagine? "The UFC wasted his talent, you see Dana was so into control and all Ryan-San wanted to do was wear nice sweaters and play with geese..."

# ? Feb 22, 2024 22:04

COPE 27: Sep 11, 2006

Once Francis is the #1 heavyweight boxer hopefully we can have a weird mixed rules match between them to decide once and for all which sport is superior

# ? Feb 22, 2024 23:01

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

CarlCX posted:

There is a possibility that Ryan Bader could become the genuine #1 heavyweight on the planet, and some terrible part of me craves this.

the guy who lost to old man tito 13 years ago (need the eye pop smiley but i don't remember the code) might could be the lineal UFC hw champ. that's the most MMA outcome imaginable and while i wouldnt wish that on francis, i would laugh a whole lot

# ? Feb 22, 2024 23:13

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

ufc was protecting jon jones from the darth one

# ? Feb 23, 2024 00:31

kalensc: Sep 10, 2003; Only Trust Your Respirator, kupo!
Art/Quote by: Rubby

Eat This Glob posted:

the guy who lost to old man tito 13 years ago (need the eye pop smiley but i don't remember the code) might could be the lineal UFC hw champ. that's the most MMA outcome imaginable and while i wouldnt wish that on francis, i would laugh a whole lot

eyepop

prepop

popeye

All would apply to almost any conceivable outcome

# ? Feb 23, 2024 02:25

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

kalensc posted:

eyepop

prepop

popeye

All would apply to almost any conceivable outcome

thank you!!

# ? Feb 23, 2024 02:46

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

Eat This Glob posted:

the guy who lost to old man tito 13 years ago (need the eye pop smiley but i don't remember the code) might could be the lineal UFC hw champ. that's the most MMA outcome imaginable and while i wouldnt wish that on francis, i would laugh a whole lot

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:13

Hollandia: Jul 27, 2007; rattus rattus; Grimey Drawer

Eat This Glob posted:

the guy who lost to old man tito 13 years ago (need the eye pop smiley but i don't remember the code) might could be the lineal UFC hw champ. that's the most MMA outcome imaginable and while i wouldnt wish that on francis, i would laugh a whole lot

# ? Feb 23, 2024 03:32

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

CarlCX posted:

There is a possibility that Ryan Bader could become the genuine #1 heavyweight on the planet, and some terrible part of me craves this.

Bader hamfistedly calling out Jones while telling the entire Bellator org to hold him back would provide some good coked up tweets from JBJ.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 04:09

Unperson_47: Oct 14, 2007

Eat This Glob posted:

the guy who lost to old man tito 13 years ago (need the eye pop smiley but i don't remember the code) might could be the lineal UFC hw champ. that's the most MMA outcome imaginable and while i wouldnt wish that on francis, i would laugh a whole lot

# ? Feb 23, 2024 06:28

Kragger99: Mar 21, 2004; Pillbug

One Friday Fights!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnuKum9uLMY

# ? Feb 23, 2024 13:38

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Good violence this morning yet again

# ? Feb 23, 2024 16:48

DoombatINC: Apr 20, 2003; Here's the thing, I'm a feminist.

yeah theres been some great fights and knockouts this morning

also theyve bumped Chalie v Brazil to after the main event, which isnt something i think ive ever seen

# ? Feb 23, 2024 17:04

Fozzy The Bear: Dec 11, 1999; Nothing much, watching the game, drinking a bud

https://twitter.com/heynottheface/status/1760906197610491975
fighters testifying on the UFC's side: Michael Bisping, Donal Cerrone, Michael Chandler, Chael Sonnon, Meisha Tate

Not surprised.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:05

TheKingslayer: Sep 3, 2008

Also works as a list of people that adore the taste of boot polish.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:12

RedSky: Oct 30, 2023

Donal Cerrone being Donalds less successful Irish cousin.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:44

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Pitbull vs Braga is off as Braga was declared unable to compete

# ? Feb 23, 2024 18:52

Brut: Aug 21, 2007

wtf is Chandler testifying about, didn't he just get here?

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:21

CarlCX: Dec 14, 2003

Fozzy The Bear posted:

fighters testifying on the UFC's side: Michael Bisping, Donal Cerrone, Michael Chandler, Chael Sonnon, Meisha Tate

Seems pretty gutsy to make the starting lineup for your legal defense team include

a guy who on-the-record lied to every sports commission in the country
a guy who says he once publicly supported unionization 'by mistake'
a guy whose entire career is a testimony to the contract terms you're denying exist
a guy who plead guilty to federal money laundering
miesha tate

But beggar cannot be choosers, I guess.

Also, previously on the 'this rematch is stupid' show:

CarlCX posted:

This cursed loving fight. This is actually a rematch from Noche UFC, where the fight wound up a No Contest after referee Chris Tognoni botched the stoppage after mistakenly thinking Lacerda had passed out in a guillotine choke. They rebooked the fight just four weeks later, only for it to get scratched during fight week thanks to an open infection on Lacerda's face.

Today Lacerda missed weight at 127 and then Chairez missed weight by drat near an entire weight class at 131.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:30

Brut: Aug 21, 2007

CarlCX posted:

Also, previously on the 'this rematch is stupid' show:

Today Lacerda missed weight at 127 and then Chairez missed weight by drat near an entire weight class at 131.

hahahah wtf, cancel the fight and never book it again.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:33

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Brut posted:

wtf is Chandler testifying about, didn't he just get here?

My guess is he will testify to current contract negotiations stuff since he is an active fighter (Tate I think is still active).

I'm a bit surprised company bootlicker DC isn't in the list

You also have managers as well.
Ali Abdelaziz
Jason House
Josh Jones
Dan Lambert
Ed Soares

Just Ali only is laughable. The guy is practically "employed" by the UFC.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:39

beep by grandpa: May 5, 2004

CarlCX posted:

Seems pretty gutsy to make the starting lineup for your legal defense team include

a guy who on-the-record lied to every sports commission in the country

a guy who says he once publicly supported unionization 'by mistake'

a guy whose entire career is a testimony to the contract terms you're denying exist

a guy who plead guilty to federal money laundering

miesha tate
But beggar cannot be choosers, I guess.

Also, previously on the 'this rematch is stupid' show:

Today Lacerda missed weight at 127 and then Chairez missed weight by drat near an entire weight class at 131.

lmao lmao lmaaoooo

was Bispings lying about his having a fake eyeball for like the last 5yrs of his career?

# ? Feb 23, 2024 19:42

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

beep by grandpa posted:

lmao lmao lmaaoooo

was Bispings lying about his having a fake eyeball for like the last 5yrs of his career?

Yeah, pretty sure his retina got destroyed when Belfort spinningly back kicked him with the power of a Young Dinosaur/Old Lion hybrid

# ? Feb 23, 2024 20:07

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

This UFC game clip will amuse you

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3liJ2mtQfR/?igsh=aDFmb3ZhbWI5ZGMx

# ? Feb 23, 2024 21:52

BlindSite: Feb 8, 2009

beep by grandpa posted:

lmao lmao lmaaoooo

was Bispings lying about his having a fake eyeball for like the last 5yrs of his career?

In the Bisping doc he goes into it pretty extensively but yeah, he used some basic carny cons to hide that he was functionally blind / had no eye for years.

# ? Feb 23, 2024 22:18

Snowman_McK: Jan 31, 2010

kimbo305 posted:

This UFC game clip will amuse you

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3liJ2mtQfR/?igsh=aDFmb3ZhbWI5ZGMx

I'm reasonably sure he doesn't talk this way but also I can't remember hearing him talk so I can't prove it.

# ? Feb 24, 2024 00:08

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

Karate Combat at the top of the hour!

https://www.youtube.com/live/4Ws5jSwurWc?si=e7oOWF-7FXEudKzx

edit: Show live but no fights just yet

Digital Jedi fucked around with this message at 01:06 on Feb 24, 2024

# ? Feb 24, 2024 00:37

TheKingslayer: Sep 3, 2008

Fozzy The Bear posted:

https://twitter.com/heynottheface/status/1760906197610491975
fighters testifying on the UFC's side: Michael Bisping, Donal Cerrone, Michael Chandler, Chael Sonnon, Meisha Tate

Not surprised.

Hold up, something just dawned on me. Aren't most of these people still technically suing UFC because they didn't opt out of class status or whatever?

# ? Feb 24, 2024 04:18

individual865: Mar 26, 2007; Life on the outside ain't what it used to be.

TheKingslayer posted:

Hold up, something just dawned on me. Aren't most of these people still technically suing UFC because they didn't opt out of class status or whatever?

yes, hilariously.

# ? Feb 24, 2024 04:26

Digital Jedi: May 28, 2007; Fallen Rib

https://x.com/Grabaka_Hitman/status/1761302678892626038?s=20

# ? Feb 24, 2024 09:11

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

The quoted tweet got deleted and it made it sound like Imanari died

https://twitter.com/rizin_english/status/1761302624899366985/mediaviewer

# ? Feb 24, 2024 15:43

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Made a GDT for today's big crop of fights

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4054994

# ? Feb 24, 2024 18:08

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

kimbo305 posted:

The quoted tweet got deleted and it made it sound like Imanari died

That was my immediate thought.

# ? Feb 25, 2024 00:30

TheKingslayer: Sep 3, 2008

https://twitter.com/BenTheBaneDavis/status/1761873815293104266?t=3n4eXFCYMxSfFdwsRtqg4A&s=19

# ? Feb 26, 2024 00:15

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

the iceman slippeth

# ? Feb 26, 2024 00:41

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Yoel's physique is so crazy -- even with him huffing on his slightly flabby roid gut, he still managed to have 6-pack definition on top of it.

# ? Feb 26, 2024 08:30

Hollandia: Jul 27, 2007; rattus rattus; Grimey Drawer

STONE COLD 64 posted:

the iceman slippeth

Lmao
March title?

# ? Feb 26, 2024 09:51

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 02:09

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

When you just put a bunch of money into promoting�

https://youtu.be/nBs0cAtFGAk?si=efxwVBHkk0LrZH7X

# ? Feb 27, 2024 18:51

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC/MMA February: a longer tongue than himself

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