UFC/MMA February: a longer tongue than himself

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC/MMA February: a longer tongue than himself

On a scale of one to ten, how excited are you for Jack Hermansson vs Joe Pyfer? This poll is closed.
I have mixed feelings about the dilution of the roster but I like up-and-coming fighters	1	3.23%
Remember when Jack Hermansson heel hooked Kelvin Gastelum! That was cool! Oh my god that was four years ago	10	32.26%
The Apex is the nadir of martial arts and we never truly left its darkened clutches	6	19.35%
Is Joe Pyfer, like, a thing	6	19.35%
3	8	25.81%
Total:	31 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

add mark o madsen to the retirement corner

# ¿ Feb 1, 2024 20:48

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:13

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

CarlCX posted:

I have doubts about this happening, but if it did, I'd assume 175 would be the Edwards/Usman/Chimaev/Shavkat/Garry/Holland division and there's a good chance Whittaker and Chris Curtis would drop down, 165 would be the Conor/Chandler/Belal/Maddalena/Burns division and there's a good chance Poirier, Jalin Turner and Dan Hooker would come up, and the UFC would try as hard as loving possible to make Conor win and laud him with a huge marketing campaign as the first ever triple champ in UFC history.

But I dunno. I've seen this rumor float around here and there for a couple years now, and I don't think it's out of the question, but I have my doubts they'll pull the trigger here.

Oh, also, fun fact courtesy of statmaster Andy Hickey: After tomorrow's event, despite the Apex arena having only existed for three and a half years, it will have held 14% of all events in UFC history.

This is a blatant attempt to erase Dothan Alabama from UFC history and I am UPSET about it

# ¿ Feb 3, 2024 00:40

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

BlindSite posted:

Someone said to me he's taller, broader and skinnier irl than you think so I think he cuts but not a lot. Like I think its a matter of fasting for 24 hours and being disciplined in camp rather than some guys having to manage to the nth degree.

Peirera was like 220 when he stepped into the cage to fight izzy though so.

I think it was the guys on the Heavy Hands podcast that said Pereira's super power is to always be an inch or two taller and 30 - 40 pounds heavier than his opponent, regardless of who that is

# ¿ Feb 6, 2024 14:33

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

chael did a lie???

# ¿ Feb 7, 2024 14:45

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

im steamed! :mad:

# ¿ Feb 8, 2024 21:14

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

goaw beck to yeour hixegawn

# ¿ Feb 9, 2024 15:10

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

2023 Awards thread is up

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4053970

# ¿ Feb 10, 2024 20:20

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Fozzy The Bear posted:

Let me paraphrase Luke Thomas:

I hate everything about MMA except the actual fights.

and even some of those are stinky

# ¿ Feb 11, 2024 20:55

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

bummer alert

Bigfoot Silva is unretiring to fight Juan Espino in the Canary Islands. Will Bigfoot score his first win since 2015? Most assuredly not

# ¿ Feb 14, 2024 20:56

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Wow, an all-piss main card!

# ¿ Feb 14, 2024 21:37

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

UFC newz:

Lima vs Tafa off due to injury

Oban Elliott vs Val Woodburn in jeopardy because Oban's coach claims they thought the fight was at 185, not 170. Says Oban is around 198 this morning (this could be a poor attempt at a joke and I have been bamboozled)

e: i was bamboozled, as both guys made weight

LobsterMobster fucked around with this message at 18:25 on Feb 16, 2024

# ¿ Feb 16, 2024 17:58

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Junior Tafa is replacing Justin Tafa to fight Lima

# ¿ Feb 16, 2024 20:15

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Itsy Bitsy Tafa

# ¿ Feb 16, 2024 20:24

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Digital Jedi posted:

Edit I'm dumb. Lob ready posted it

Too Many Tafa

# ¿ Feb 16, 2024 22:00

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

1. smart to keep these fights 155 and below

2. i hope Ricky wins!

3. secret, robot hand

# ¿ Feb 21, 2024 22:04

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

note the early saudi start time

:siren:

B-League Round-Up :siren:

PFL vs Bellator: CHAMPS - Saturday, February 24, 2024

Main Card - 3:00 PM ET, PPV

Heavyweight - Ryan �Darth� Bader vs Renan �Problem� Ferreira

We�ve seen all two ways this fight could play out from both guys. For Bader, look at him shooting the most terrified double leg of all time against Rumble Johnson and get punched to oblivion. For Ferreira, literally any time someone has tried to take him down, it has been successful. This is truly a fight to determine which man�s shortcomings will come shorter harder.

I will say I think a Bader win is more likely to be attrition-based, while Ferreira has the power to one-tap guys much bigger than the former 205 lb champ. That being said, I see Bader grinding away at Ferreira and getting a TKO.

Middleweight - Johnny �Pressure� Eblen vs �Tshilobo� Impa Kasanganay

Last year, Kasanganay ran up a 5-0 record against the motley assortment of end pieces and congealed trimmings that is PFL�s Light Heavyweight division. He�s a solid puncher and grappler. Perfectly acceptable fightin� from ol Impa.

Eblen�s 10-0 Bellator record doesn�t really get impressive until 2022, when he beat John Salter in a number one contender bout. Then he�s got the win over Mousasi for the belt, and defenses against Anatoly Tokov and Fabian Edwards. Also perfectly acceptable.

Eblen�s probably a more well-rounded fighter, but Kasanganay has Big Guy power, which can definitely change things quickly. I�ll still take Eblen to take this one.

Featherweight - Patricio �Pitbull� Freire vs Gabriel Alves Braga

This is the first Featherweight bout Patricio has had since the end of 2022. This is also the first time he�s lost two in a row in his whole 20-year career.

Braga lost in the PFL championship finals, but since Jesus Pinedo got hurt, he�s stepping in to face Pitbull.

Short notice against one of the best non-UFC featherweights is a tough ask, it�s even tougher when your best wins are split decisions against Jesus Pinedo and Chris Wade. On the other hand, Pitbull is 36, and I�m not trying to compare his situation as one to one with Alex Volkanovski, nor would I ever insinuate that Gabriel Alves Braga is a comparable analogue to Ilia Topuria, but he�s an older featherweight, and older small guys don�t fare super great. All that being said, I�ve got Pitbull winning this one.

182 lb Catchweight - Jason �The rear end-Kicking Machine� Jackson vs �Bradda Boy� Ray Cooper III

Jackson is currently riding a 7-fight win streak, with one finish in that run. So while he is a machine that kicks rear end, he doesn�t kick it very efficiently.

Cooper most recently missed weight for a 186 lb catchweight fight with Derek Brunson, losing a decision. Will he make weight for this bout? He doesn�t have a great track record for it!

Jackson will have about 6 inches of height and around 8 inches of reach on Cooper, so I better see some distance rear end kicking. Also, I realize Cooper is a former two time PFL champ, but this feels like a letdown compared to the originally intended bout of Jackson versus Magomed Magomedkerimov. I want my Magomeds!

Heavyweight - Bruno Cappelozza vs Vadim Nemkov

Cappelozza�s last official win was in 2022 after his 2023 bout with Matheus Scheffel was overturned to a no contest because Big Bruno failed a drug test. Nemkov hasn�t lost since 2016, back in Rizin. This is also his first fight above 205 lb since 2016, also in Rizin (The heavyweight bout came after his loss, at 205). How will Nemkov fare against a normally larger lad? How will Bruno fare against someone more skilled than the average heavyweight? I�m seeing Nemkov using his sambo skills to grapple and groundedly pound Cappelozza all throughout the fight.

Light Heavyweight - Thiago �Marreta� Santos vs Yoel �Soldier of God� Romero

Thiago Santos has not won consecutive fights since his 2018 - 2019 run where he rattled off four wins in a row, culminating in a title fight against Jon Jones. Following the loss to Jones and getting all of his knee ligaments replaced, Santos has gone 1-4 with a no contest thrown in for good measure, overturning what would have been his fifth loss to Rob Wilkinson, but Rob�s hormone levels were too high. He also failed a drug test himself, putting the kibosh on a scheduled fight with Mohammed Fakhreddine.

Yoel Romero is fresh off a decision loss to Vadim Nemkov in a Belaltor title bout. He earned that by beating Eazy Polizzi and the shambling corpse of Melvin Manhoef. Yoel Romero is also 76 years old.

This fight would have been awesome like ten years ago. It would have been two guys who look like action figures smashing into each other. Now, it�s two old men who will tentatively poke and prod at each other, with very short, sporadic bursts of activity.

Lightweight - �Cassius� Clay Collard vs AJ �Mercenary� McKee

Oh heck! Ohhhh heck! This fight should be rad. Clay Collard is the human personification of volume punching, as he has never yet met a situation that cannot be improved or eradicated by a judicious dispersal of fists. Every button on Collard�s controller is Punch. Hell, he doesn�t walk, he feetpunches the ground in order to move.

AJ McKee is a fun grapple man who rebelled against his father Antonio�s lay and pray style by actively seeking submission finishes. McKee�s striking is fine, but his grappling is where his real advantage resides. That doesn�t mean I expect him to use that advantage, because fighters are very silly people.

Prelims - 12:00PM ET, ESPN+

Featherweight - Henry �OK� Corrales vs Aaron Pico

I�ve mellowed slightly on Aaron Pico. He�s 16 fights in and coming up on his eighth year of active competition, and I can finally admit he�s a solid fighter. He�s certainly not the godking phenom I was told he was by Scott Coker, but he�s pretty good. He�s probably going to beat Corrales. Also, this is just a Bellator vs Bellator fight, which is disappointing.

Lightweight - Biaggio Ali Walsh vs Emmanuel Palacio

Walsh should win this because PFL really wants him to, so I imagine Palacio is A Guy they found in a drainage ditch last weekend. However, as Aaron Pico�s pro debut showed, sometimes the really funny thing happens instead. Never underestimate the ability for Punch Go Boop.

Lightweight - Claressa Shields vs Kelsey DeSantis

Diggin� thru the scrap heap, lookin for a can. Hoping she won�t wrestle (If she knows what�s good for her). Also, I realize this card is built heavily around the alleged Bellator vs PFL super fights, but it still feels surprising that Claressa is so far down on the prelims.

Featherweight - Abdullah Al-Qahtani vs Edukondala Rao

Nah.

Flyweight (Amateur) - Malik Basahel vs Vinicius Pereira

I don�t think either of these guys is the grandson of a former boxing champion, so why should I care?

# ¿ Feb 22, 2024 03:15

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Digital Jedi posted:

I can't do a write up nearly anything remotely to Carl or Lobster but just to mention KSW EPIC show Saturday.
It is another arena show which usually means KSW goes out of their way to put on a crazy fun show.
Last time a guy rapped while on top a van with a giant cake and girls firing off flamethrowers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=outU0orcBTU

This show should be pretty fun for the very fact it has all sorts of match types.

Like MMA fights? You are getting 4 of them
Muay Thai more your thing? We got a caged MT fight!
Sub only? Oh you bet there is a sub only fight
How about a boxing match? Of course!
Any wrestling fans? How about a good old No Holds Barred match! ( i honestly have no idea what the rules are)
The answer to the age old question which is better BJJ or Judo, will be answered in a BJJ vs Judo match!
And finally for the old heads out there rules match!

it's actually "no holes barred"

https://twitter.com/Grabaka_Hitman/status/1759726765952422176

# ¿ Feb 22, 2024 03:54

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Big Money Fran has got next after Bader vs Ferreira

https://twitter.com/PFLMMA/status/1760729268596920462?t=pUkrbmIODud-06mT-Seg8w&s=19

# ¿ Feb 22, 2024 19:31

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

ur a real sick freak, carl

# ¿ Feb 22, 2024 20:02

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Pitbull vs Braga is off as Braga was declared unable to compete

# ¿ Feb 23, 2024 18:52

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

beep by grandpa posted:

lmao lmao lmaaoooo

was Bispings lying about his having a fake eyeball for like the last 5yrs of his career?

Yeah, pretty sure his retina got destroyed when Belfort spinningly back kicked him with the power of a Young Dinosaur/Old Lion hybrid

# ¿ Feb 23, 2024 20:07

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Made a GDT for today's big crop of fights

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4054994

# ¿ Feb 24, 2024 18:08

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

B-League Round-Up :siren:

ONE Championship 166 - Friday, March 1st. 7:30 AM ET, PPV

Instead of my normal method of a full card breakdown, I�m just going to talk about the stuff that sounds Pretty Interesting.

There are 3 Muay Thai and one kickboxing bout on this card, and those are usually pretty good. I was hoping we�d get some actual Thai fighters, but I�ll take whatever tiny gloves face punching is on offer.

Arjan Bhullar and Amir Aliakbari are facing off in a heavyweight tilt. This one should be fun to watch because Aliakbari is probably going to be full of around nine different illicit substances. But this fight is two heavyweight wrestlers, so it�s probably going to resemble a pair of elephant seals clashing for about thirty seconds and then they�ll just lean on each other for the rest of the fight.

Next up, Jarred Brooks defends the Flyweight title in a rematch against Joshua Pacio. Since their first bout, Brooks lost to Mikey Muscumeci in a submission grappling match, while Pacio defeated Mansur Malachiev. It�s a flyweight fight, so I expect a lot of action, both on the feet and on the ground.

In Lightweight title action, Kai Tang defends his belt in another rematch against Interim champ Thanh Le. Tang and Le had a good fight back in 2022, and a knee injury kept Tang out of running it back immediately in 2023. Le kept busy with an Interim title fight against Ilya Freymanov, submitting his opponent in just over one minute.

In the Main Event, we have another rematch, as Anatoly Malykhin takes on Renier de Ridder once again. Will Dutch grapples be able to survive against heavy Russian punches? Probably not, considering what happened last time!

# ¿ Feb 29, 2024 00:18

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

You gotta post so you can get the engagement and get the ad revenue babie

# ¿ Feb 29, 2024 03:12

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Patricio Pitbull is finally defending the Bellator featherweight title against Jeremy "Junior Bacon Cheeseburger" Kennedy

# ¿ Feb 29, 2024 17:28

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:13

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Brut posted:

actually gently caress, the angle they just showed made it look like he's still out cold and about to be carried out on a stretcher

pretend i posted the "cb dolloway - winner by dq" picture of him getting wheeled out on a stretcher

# ¿ Mar 1, 2024 16:13

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