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I climb the six feet of ladder to reach my driver's door, using all of my strength and both hands to yank on the gigantic diamond plate handle. I scamper inside and plop down on leather throne that an entire herd of cattle died for. I sit down hard on my nuts and immediately blame it on Joe Biden.
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Feb 18, 2024 03:08
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Mr Teatime posted:Fairly sure the guy down the street with the ford transit is loving my wife. A man, a van, a plan: Adultery.
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Feb 18, 2024 03:15
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Yeah of course my truck has to be this big! How else am I gonna run over the landscaping trying to pull out of the grocery store parking lot? *super swampers totally obliterate some petunias that definitely had it coming*
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Feb 19, 2024 18:27
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*walks into an exhaust shop* Just gently caress my poo poo up guy, make it sound like eight elephant seals having an argument in a dumpster. Hell yeah that's perfect my neighbors will think I'm an alpha now!
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Feb 20, 2024 02:21
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Can anyone find the social media screen caps of a guy making fun of others being stuck in the while he brags about "mobbing" in his pickup without slowing down? The second pic is his truck totaled in a ditch. tia Jestery posted:gently caress I gotta buy gas
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Feb 20, 2024 18:17
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Honey I know you're mad that I got banned from the student pickup line at the elementary school but I only said the racial slur to the crossing guard AFTER she told me my rig wasn't allowed on school property anymore. This history of complaints thing is BULLSHIT. I don't get why you're embarrassed it's not that big plus I totally use it for work and stuff. Ok OK I'll leave you alone it's clear you can't have a rational conversation about this right now.
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Feb 20, 2024 19:25
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FlimFlam Imam posted:I'm a Jan. 6 TRUE PATRIOT. Held hostage in my jail cell, day dreamin' of my pick-em-up truck. Trying to trick the guards into telling me how thick the walls are so I can text escape plans to my cousin from a keistered burner phone. Dude has a SICK Duramax with a winch and a six-foot body lift, should be no fucken problem. My new FJB tat is looking infected as gently caress
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Feb 20, 2024 19:54
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"MASHED PO-loving-TATOES ," I scream through the KFC drive thru window.
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Feb 20, 2024 20:42
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Hell yeah I just bought a new sticker for my rig it's a punisher skull with the pattern of the thin blue line flag but over the blue line it says we the people in a script font that has an American flag pattern
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Feb 21, 2024 18:54
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I decided to prank my cousin by rolling coal at her gender reveal party. Her husband saw the all black smoke, thought it was the reveal and got pissed off and accused her of cheating on him. She's banned me from the baby shower so how the gently caress am I supposed to hit on her fiends now?!?!
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Feb 21, 2024 19:15
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I took my girl to the Cheesecake Factory and asked the manager if they had valet parking. He said they didn't so I laughed at him and told him just as well as a valet couldn't handle a real truck. I hit 3 cars in the parking lot on the way out, gently caress Joe Biden for making the menu so expensive
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Feb 22, 2024 03:04
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Snowy posted:I sure am glad I bought this here truck Not as glad as I am, your local Ram dealership finance guy. 96 months isn't that long if you think about it
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Feb 22, 2024 03:45
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I met my first wife when I blew my train horn as she used the crosswalk outside the grocery store. She was really scared but my display of alpha male dominance won her heart. She met me in the family planning aisle and dropped a box of magnum condoms into my buggy. I told her that I don't need that poo poo and then we had sex on the conveyor belt in front of the cashier and everyone cheered.
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Feb 23, 2024 19:39
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Worf posted:Yea hence the truck What the gently caress did you just loving say about my little dick? I'll have you know I financed the top of the line from GMC, and I've been involved in numerous repossession attempts on my Sierra, and I have over $3000 in monthly payments. I am trained in double parking and I'm the angriest driver in the entire metro area. You are nothing to me but just another beta.....
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Feb 24, 2024 00:47
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Grey Cat posted:Did someone say gas? 
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Feb 24, 2024 01:17
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Heh, I deleted my personal emissions gear too! *rips extremely loud all protein diet fart* *Me and the boys high five in the crew cab as we all asphyxiate in a cloud that smells like a diesel incinerated corpse*
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Feb 26, 2024 18:48
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WE THE PEOPLE Got terrible deals on truck financing gently caress gotta sell a dozen of my 200 guns to keep the Silverado
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Feb 28, 2024 01:38
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BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:Canada rear end kilometer having rear end mfer *adjusts cowboy hat* The screen in my RAM 2500 is set to MILES like the manufacturer intended. *lives in the Alberta tar sands and loves it*
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Mar 1, 2024 00:13
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I eat all my meals at Golden Corral and take all my dumps and Pilot Travel Centers. The circle of life.
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Mar 1, 2024 02:44
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My glove box is filled to the brim with expired Realtree pattern condoms.
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Mar 2, 2024 06:06
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Harry_Potato posted:Does anyone have a hose and a rag? I got a spot of dirt on my massive "offroad" truck on the way to walmart. My condolences brother. Better pay to have the whole thing detailed again. Remember to be very condescending to the people at the carwash.
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Mar 4, 2024 19:22
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God dammit I just curbed my chrome 24s in the Arby's drive thru and Ive still got 63 payments left. Can't fix em because gently caress I gotta go buy gas again.
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Mar 4, 2024 19:30
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He might have just gotten his first truck, he may not have learned our ways yet.
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Mar 4, 2024 21:39
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Haptical Sales Slut posted:Did he roll up the sleeves of his short sleeve shirt Try it bro it makes your arms look bigger. loving assholes are parked in front of the diesel pump again HEY JERKASS MOVE YOUR poo poo OR IM UNSPOOLING MY WINCH AND DOING IT FOR YOU *says have a blessed day to the cashier who sells me vuze pods*
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Mar 11, 2024 17:57
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Grey Cat posted:What's it like having to replace a car that rolls over every week? *through hot streaming tears* All my rubber ducks flew out the window YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!!!
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Mar 11, 2024 18:22
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Rad-daddio posted:they should make truck ovaries
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Mar 12, 2024 16:26
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The windshield banner on my truck says DOES BEFORE HOES and every time I get a text message my phone plays the sound of a shotgun pump.
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Mar 12, 2024 16:29
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hot cocoa on the couch posted:grow up. Worf posted:gRoW uP https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABqCvWK0D0k
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Mar 12, 2024 20:07
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Dirty Hands Clean Money. I'm the supervisor at the job site and I cheat on my taxes to afford the payments on my Sierra. Can't drive a Silverado like all the actual workers.
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Mar 14, 2024 14:25
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They only debt I have bigger than my truck financing is to Home Depot. Actually that's a lie it's my unpaid child support. My ex wife is will get my Tundra TRD over my dead body! I've used 10k in Home Depot plywood to fortify my garage!
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Mar 26, 2024 20:01
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dee eight posted:yesterday in the winco parking lot i saw a truck with a thin blue line sticker that somebody had rainbow colored with markers and a guy was scraping at it with a pocket knife and cussing Crossposting this from the chat thread lol
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Mar 27, 2024 14:26
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Snow Cone Capone posted:tangentially related but there's a house I pass by on the way to work every day that has the following flags/signs on their lawn/front of house: A gay Nam veteran who became a woke cop.
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Mar 27, 2024 15:03
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dervival posted:it's the cop from the village people This is perfect lmao
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Mar 27, 2024 16:32
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For the last time: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CHIPPED WINDSHIELDS
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Mar 29, 2024 15:01
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sugar free jazz posted:well a: u didnt measure my truck, idiot, and b: who cares dumbass idiot nerd shut the hell up before i throw a can of sugar free rockstar at ur head Sugar free, nice bro I'm glad you're looking out for your health.
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Mar 29, 2024 19:57
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