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Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I started eating beef jerky 5 years ago after always ignoring it my whole life.

I blame "fruit leather" for this, by the way. I was always given fruit leather as a child and told it was just as good as candy, which it definitely isn't. Beef jerky totally activates the part of my brain that hates fruit leather. But part of getting older is getting over things.

I like beef jerky but I've noticed significant differences between different brands. What's the best jerky I can buy at a store? What's the best jerky I can only get at a specialty store? What's the best jerky I can only get online?

I usually buy the teriyaki variety, which has nothing to do with my username, which I didn't choose.

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ncumbered_by_idgits
Sep 20, 2008

The gently caress is fruit leather?

The best beef jerky is whatever jerky I’m eating at any given moment.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


The goon one (Big Johns) is pretty good and the owner is quite responsive to feed back in the sa mart thread.

sock it to me!
Feb 7, 2010
Old Trapper is consistently good.

bug chaser chaser
Dec 11, 2006

Wild Bills is great

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Man all the mainstream stuff blows these days so if you don't have a local purveyor all you have is this mushy underflavored trash beef

The real stuff is hard as hell to chew through

Grey Cat
Jun 3, 2023

Doing stuff and things


Peppered.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Grey Cat posted:

Peppered.

Peppered is my second favorite after teriyaki, please tell me what brand to buy

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

ncumbered_by_idgits posted:

The gently caress is fruit leather?

You are so lucky this wasn't a part of your childhood

Grey Cat
Jun 3, 2023

Doing stuff and things


I'm not sure anymore, is any jerky under $100/oz in the store these days? The few times I've treated myself on a long drive I usually get old trapper.

meat police
Nov 14, 2015

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

The goon one (Big Johns) is pretty good and the owner is quite responsive to feed back in the sa mart thread.

yeah his stuff is really good

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

I started eating beef jerky 5 years ago after always ignoring it my whole life.

I blame "fruit leather" for this, by the way. I was always given fruit leather as a child and told it was just as good as candy, which it definitely isn't. Beef jerky totally activates the part of my brain that hates fruit leather. But part of getting older is getting over things.

I like beef jerky but I've noticed significant differences between different brands. What's the best jerky I can buy at a store? What's the best jerky I can only get at a specialty store? What's the best jerky I can only get online?

I usually buy the teriyaki variety, which has nothing to do with my username, which I didn't choose.

How the gently caress am I supposed to know what kind of beef jerky you’ll like, rear end.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

How the gently caress am I supposed to know what kind of beef jerky you’ll like, rear end.

I want some teriyaki jerky that is chewy but not so chewy that it makes me think about the bad things I've done while chewing it

Tarkus
Aug 27, 2000

The real treat is gas station pepperoni that has no meat but just fat.

You Are A Werewolf
Apr 26, 2010

Black Gold!

sock it to me! posted:

Old Trapper is consistently good.

Came here to say this. I used to get a giant gently caress-off bag of teriyaki or peppered Old Trapper at Quik Trip for $12 and it was always tender and flavorful. The bags were always filled to the brim, too, so you got your money’s worth.

If not Old Trapper, Sweet Baby Ray’s is drat good.

Wayne Knight
May 11, 2006



I’ll never forget when I saw they locked up the jerky

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest

bug chaser chaser posted:

Wild Bills is great

the old school ones that came in the glass jar were supreme. Now I get Mingua. What I dont get is the ones that come in big box stores that are like chewy shards of coagulated soy sauce (Jack Links, others)

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Wayne Knight posted:



I’ll never forget when I saw they locked up some of the jerky

covidstomper58
Nov 8, 2020

Does hunter sausage count as jerky, beef or otherwise?

Wayne Knight
May 11, 2006

idk but it’s in the congressional record

Internetjack
Sep 15, 2007

oh god how did this get here i am not good with computers
Top Cop
Thick sliced and tender. Dried-up paper thin wood bark stuff can take a hike.

Here's a hint: get a smoker and make your own exactly how you want.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

there's a drat good local place that I get garlic, red chile, green chile and xmas chile flavors from that are excellent

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

My favorite is the Oberto Thin Sliced stuff, but it's hard to find. Regular Oberto is as mediocre as the other big brands.

ncumbered_by_idgits posted:

The gently caress is fruit leather?
Fruit Roll-Up/Fruit By The Foot but made by hippies, without sugar. Basically dried fruit but all mashed flat first.

Rahu
Feb 14, 2009


let me just check my figures real quick here
Grimey Drawer
As a jerky enthusiast I can confirm that big John's is great. Been buying that stuff since around 2011 and I haven't found a jerky I like more.

E: actually I don't think I have bought any in over a year. Gonna go and put an order in now. Thanks for reminding me, op :tipshat:

Rahu fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Feb 26, 2024

Polish
Jul 5, 2007

I touch myself at night
Jack's links isn't the best, but their turkey jerky is great if you wanna chew on something for like an hour.

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

Grey Cat posted:

I'm not sure anymore, is any jerky under $100/oz in the store these days? The few times I've treated myself on a long drive I usually get old trapper.

the markup on beef jerky is nuts

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

squid jerky

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002

Y’all gotta get your hands on Mingua

https://www.minguabeefjerky.com/

Garlic & onion is absolutely rockin

schreibs
Oct 11, 2009

meat police posted:

yeah his stuff is really good

Well there you have it folks, approved by the meat police

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015



this is what I grew up on and is my ideal

it's drier/tougher then most other beef jerkys I've encountered. like chewing beef bark

titty_baby_ fucked around with this message at 07:38 on Feb 26, 2024

Wayne Knight
May 11, 2006

When I was little I loved the beef jerky that came in a tin and was like chaw/beef dust

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
Ultra Carp

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


my favorite was the stuff you see in convenience stores/gas stations that comes in basically little sheets, usually in a self-serve container with tongs and a paper bag. I don't eat meat anymore though :cry:

titty_baby_ posted:



this is what I grew up on and is my ideal

it's drier/tougher then most other beef jerkys I've encountered. like chewing beef bark

this

Wayne Knight posted:

When I was little I loved the beef jerky that came in a tin and was like chaw/beef dust

this stuff too

Secks Cauldron
Aug 26, 2006

I thought they closed that place down!
Buffalo Bills is good and it's my friend's husband's favorite.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008

Rural King’s store brand teriyaki. A pound is 17 bucks, which is good jerky value these days.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Internetjack posted:

Thick sliced and tender. Dried-up paper thin wood bark stuff can take a hike.

Here's a hint: get a smoker and make your own exactly how you want.

You zoomers are ruining beef jerky with your baby chalk teeth that can't handle REAL jerky

Hint it's not JERKy if you can cut it with a butter knife

Costco Meatballs
Oct 21, 2022
Big John is super inconsistent. Sometimes it's nice and tender and well marinated sometimes it's sub-jack links quality

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

You Are A Werewolf posted:

If not Old Trapper, Sweet Baby Ray’s is drat good.

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004

Fun Shoe
The kind you eat on a road trip

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Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
Is there a reason I can't find the Big John SA mart jerky thread? I may need more practice operating my internet machine.

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