NFL Haikus

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Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Are you ready to
Say three magic words with me
gently caress the Cowboys, yeah

# ? Feb 27, 2024 01:30

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 19:36

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

A spicy sandwich
appears before the hungry
man. dangeruss times.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 01:36

Anderson Koopa: Jun 9, 2006

Here's one for the Patriots

Having the third pick
Is good because the roster
Lacks any talent

# ? Feb 27, 2024 01:39

aperion: May 15, 2007; i want to believe; Grimey Drawer

Kansas City Chiefs
Super Bowl Winners Again
I just want to die

# ? Feb 27, 2024 01:52

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

joe burrow hosed me
the cincinnati bengals
ja'marr chase hosed me

# ? Feb 27, 2024 02:06

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

owner is a lich
victory is in the past
the dallas cowboys

# ? Feb 27, 2024 04:00

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Russell Wilson says
to Broncos Nation, �Let�s ride!�
They go 5-12

# ? Feb 27, 2024 05:05

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

This is loving rigged. I can't believe this bullshit. The nfl's gay.

# ? Feb 27, 2024 16:09

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Fourth and Twenty Six
Andy Reid trusts a doofus
Fred Ex delivers

# ? Feb 27, 2024 16:16

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

The man impacts rear end
The ball bounces off away
That�s Jets football, baby

# ? Feb 27, 2024 19:28

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Debating the play
Fat Mike is so full of poo poo
gently caress it going deep

# ? Feb 27, 2024 23:36

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Second down and goal
The Ravens bring more pressure
God drat it, Donald!

# ? Feb 28, 2024 00:11

Anderson Koopa: Jun 9, 2006

fartknocker posted:

The man impacts rear end
The ball bounces off away
That�s Jets football, baby

The first round pick for
The New York Jets is Fullback
Roger Vick, Ohh, Noo!

# ? Feb 28, 2024 04:41

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

They kick to DeSean
He showboats on the goal line
Tom Coughlin big mad

# ? Feb 28, 2024 15:54

Blitz of 404 Error: Sep 19, 2007; Joe Biden is a top 15 president

Mark Davis hair cut
tom telesco is GM
both great decisions

# ? Feb 28, 2024 15:56

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Falcons up big, but
Quinn and Kyle S poo poo themselves
Brady wins again

# ? Feb 28, 2024 16:28

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

he hosed me as well
chidobe awuzie
it has been two years

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:27

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Will Anderson rules
I�m glad the Texans picked him
COME WIT IT NOW *riff*

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:30

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Jared Lorenzen
Super Bowl Champion and
Mighty Battleship

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:37

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

C.J. Stroud rules, too
He loves Jesus like Tebow
Unlike Tim, can throw

# ? Mar 1, 2024 01:40

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS

The Chicago Bears
H I T S principle
Will they suck again?

# ? Mar 1, 2024 07:04

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Kissing some titties
Wishing I was still starting
Oh well, titties! Smooch.

# ? Mar 1, 2024 22:06

Fat Jesus: Jul 13, 2011; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2023

Patrick Mahomes pass
touchdown wins superbowl yet again
he's the fuckin' man

# ? Mar 2, 2024 02:09

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Swift dating Kelce?
The NFL is scripted!
(links to Truth Social)

# ? Mar 2, 2024 02:16

Durr Kommissar: Jan 25, 2010

Favre interception
Not Detroit, the Super Bowl
Sad welfare fraudster

# ? Mar 2, 2024 04:47

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; Wet

Mitch sheds two big tears
Perfect spherical titties
Ima kiss em all

# ? Mar 2, 2024 04:53

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; Wet

Cavauro posted:

he hosed me as well
chidobe awuzie
it has been two years

Incredible work

# ? Mar 2, 2024 04:54

Phobeste: Apr 9, 2006; never, like, count out Touchdown Tom, man

al michaels voice haunts
chidobe awuzie
always hear it thus

# ? Mar 2, 2024 05:07

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; c-spam cannot afford

How �bout a little
Taste of Landon Dickerson
Coming down your throat

(Had to remove a word to make it fit)

# ? Mar 2, 2024 21:16

Anals of History: Jul 29, 2003

Origin, purpose
Is Decker eligible?
Life's great mysteries

Deeper metaphor
Run thru a muhfucka face
Don't worry no more

Eyes widen, breath stops
When Rece Davis defines LANK
Two Americas

# ? Mar 3, 2024 01:46

A.o.D.: Jan 15, 2006; The Suffering of the Succotash.

I see the future
Tomorrow is yesterday
Mediocrity

# ? Mar 3, 2024 02:28

Nervous: Jan 25, 2005; Why, hello, my little slice of pecan pie.

Amazing comeback
Just have to run the ball in
Picked at the goal line

# ? Mar 3, 2024 02:40

Black Lighter: Sep 6, 2010; Just keep looking at what we're doing, keep watering and ask yourselves first and know 'Are you watering? And are you fertilizing every day?' So when it's time to pop, it'll pop.

Big Dick Nicholas
Gifted with a large penis
Super Bowl MVP?

# ? Mar 3, 2024 13:04

Fat Jesus: Jul 13, 2011; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2023

Dad bod quarterback
three superbowl victories
I love him so much

# ? Mar 3, 2024 13:31

JonathonSpectre: Jul 23, 2003; I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck; Soiled Meat

Detroit Lions, bitch
Division champs aw gently caress yeah
(last line changes depending on your outlook next year)
The Roar is restored!
or
Is the roar restored?

# ? Mar 3, 2024 13:54

Aaaaaaarrrrrggggg: Oct 4, 2004; ha, ha, ha, og me ekam

gently caress the Cowboys, gently caress
The Cowboys. gently caress the Cowboys.
gently caress the Cowboys, thanks.

# ? Mar 3, 2024 18:30

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

This franchise is cursed
Another season wasted
You. Are. The. Cowgirls.

# ? Mar 4, 2024 21:53

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

The playoffs, again
A million dicks per second
Sucked by the Cowboys

# ? Mar 4, 2024 22:05

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

eleven men lined up
deafening roars and wild jeers
ball slips past his grip

# ? Mar 4, 2024 22:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 19:36

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Free from the Bullshit
Paid in Blood and Sweat and Tears
yet Nothing to show

# ? Mar 4, 2024 23:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Haikus

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