Karma Comedian posted:

How much are were tickets?

Karma Comedian posted:

How much are were tickets?

Karma Comedian posted:

How much are were tickets?

Three Olives posted:

A Fancy Hat posted:

"Well guys, I know you didn't want to spend a lot on your wedding decorations and the available space was that decommissioned steel plant. But, I think you're gonna be REALLY happy with what I was able to pull off with only 3 hours notice."

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

Dial A For Awesome posted:

Did they not get the “sweet teats” they were promised?

Kalli posted:

el dingo posted:

You sure about that?

large hands posted:

Let's play "Russia or Scotland"

quote:

According to “house of illuminati scam,” a Facebook group set up by disappointed attendees, both the event itself and the behind-the-scenes production were cause for concern. An actor hired by the company posted that the event was a “complete last minute shitshow” and mentioned that everyone’s contracts were signed in “erasable ink.” Another actor shared the scripts she was hired to learn, but claimed that she was told to “improvise” on the day of and alleged that the scripts were “AI generated.” An attendee lamented the lackluster production, saying “When [I] went in there [were] [no] lollies, chocolate fountains… House of illumshite”

quote:

Paul Connell, an actor who had been hired by the company to perform at the event, told STV News of his shock when he arrived at the warehouse and realised that the rubric he had been given was impossible to fulfil because none of the promised props or special effects were there.

“My heart sank looking around … I just felt sad because I was aware of how many kids were going to be coming through.

“We were told to hand the kids a couple of jelly beans and a quarter cup of lemonade at the end.”

Smugworth posted:

I wish I had the kind of audacity and lack of shame necessary to pull this off

William Bear posted:

Edit: lmao. I would give anything to read the script this actor had.

quote:

Willy McDuff: (holding up the Gobstopper) Behold, the culmination of imagination
and ingenuity—the Anti-Graffiti Gobstopper! A sweet so powerful, it can make any
room sparkle without lifting a finger. But it seems, our friend, The Unknown, would
rather use it for... less tidy purposes.

The Unknown: (sneering) That's right, McDuff. Imagine the chaos, the absolute
power of turning tidiness into turmoil. Hand it over, and I might consider sparing
your precious lab.

(The audience gasps, tension mounting as the two adversaries stand ready.)

Willy McDuff: (resolute) In the spirit of imagination and the pursuit of joy, I cannot
let that happen. If it's a showdown you want, it's a showdown you'll get!

(Suddenly, the room transforms into a battlefield of lights and lasers. Willy uses a
device resembling a futuristic remote, activating traps and illusions around the lab to
thwart The Unknown's advances.)

The Unknown: (dodging a beam of light) You think these parlor tricks will stop me?
I've come too far to be foiled now!

(He retaliates with his own device, shooting beams of light towards Willy, who
skillfully evades them, using the lab's inventions as shields and counters.)

Willy McDuff: (with a twinkle in his eye) It's not about stopping you with tricks, but
with creativity! For every dark intention, there's a light of innovation ready to shine
through!

(Willy activates a machine that releases a dazzling display of holographic images,
momentarily disorienting The Unknown. Seizing the opportunity, Willy sets the Anti-

Graffiti Gobstopper into a contraption that amplifies its clean-up capabilities, sending
a wave of sparkling cleanliness towards The Unknown, neutralizing his device and
rendering him harmless.)

The Unknown: (stumbling, caught in the sparkling wave) No! My plans, thwarted
by... tidiness?!

Dial A For Awesome posted:

Why not do it in thread form? The title promises an OP that is filled with wonder, pure imagination and marvellous sights. The thread itself is the posting equivalent of a sad Oompa Loompa earning minimum wage.