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I’m thinking about getting back into standup. It’s been about 15 years since I last did an open mic, and I figured I could use a good kick in the nuts. Any goons been doing standup lately? I’m sure it’s a bit different in my mid 30’s than when I was in my early 20’s. I’m just trying to get a nice ten minutes down and bridge off from there. Any tips or points of view would be appreciated.
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Mar 1, 2024 04:11
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| # ? May 5, 2024 03:35 |
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There's a joke in my head that I'll never do and is probably unoriginal, but you can have it. The premise is that I watch so much Youtube that I start thinking that I can do the things I see there. Mountain biking? I could do that. Skateboarding? Easy. The problem is I also watch a lot of porn and now I'm starting to think that I'd probably suck a good dick too. *cue laughter*
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Mar 1, 2024 04:20
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neato burrito posted:There's a joke in my head that I'll never do and is probably unoriginal, but you can have it. The premise is that I watch so much Youtube that I start thinking that I can do the things I see there. Mountain biking? I could do that. Skateboarding? Easy. The problem is I also watch a lot of porn and now I'm starting to think that I'd probably suck a good dick too. *cue laughter* I don’t know if it’s funny, but it made me laugh. You should use it if it works with your act. Sometimes I just look at my own materiel so much I start hating it and stop believing it’s even funny. Then sometimes I’ll just drop a couple of lines on a friend or something in conversation and they’ll laugh and it breathes new confidence into it.
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Mar 1, 2024 04:31
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I bought a box of paper clips the other day, because I have to print some stuff off and hand them to people to verify that they received the documents, but I don't like the permanence of staples. I wait a while for the print job to finish and walk over and the piece of poo poo copier is still running, and it's in this little drab room filling it with stink. Figuring it must be near done, I breathe through my mouth because the copier is getting hot and all I can smell/taste/hear is that HP groaning and whirring and making GBS threads out all of these pages. I look at my phone a while and it goes quiet and I grab my ream of paper. *SMACK* goes the pile of copies on my desk and loudly sip my coffee as I separate out the pages into individual booklets. I swirl my coffee and gaze upon my works and see seven duplicate procedure manuals in a pile with seven paperclips used, now I worry that I'm going to have to find more paperclips. I look at the box and there's 500 loving paperclips in there, WHO NEEDS THAT MANY PAPERCLIPS? <pause for applause, cheering and whoop whoop whoops>
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Mar 1, 2024 04:32
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A zombie overlord's slave lost its nose, so I asked the zombie "How does your slave smell?" And the zombie replied "I have eaten its brain."
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Mar 1, 2024 04:34
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audiences are unfrotienaly woke now op and comedians are no longer allowed to make jokes.
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Mar 1, 2024 14:18
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it's the cancel culture
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Mar 1, 2024 14:40
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Show us your “tight five” op
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Mar 1, 2024 14:40
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I did a handful of open mics sometime in my mid 20s to try it out They were not great
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Mar 1, 2024 14:42
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Smugworth posted:I did a handful of open mics sometime in my mid 20s to try it out It should have been very obvious
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Mar 1, 2024 14:44
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Saalkin posted:It should have been very obvious No hecklers
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Mar 1, 2024 14:53
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I got halfway towards to becoming a successful amateur comedian in my twenties. What I'm saying is I was unemployed.
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Mar 1, 2024 15:08
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I'd think you'd need some kind of hook, a way to differentiate yourself. I have no idea what. Maybe stuffy librarian? Fake British guy?
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Mar 1, 2024 15:09
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open mics are a "do you really love doing this?" mindfuck for me sometimes my psychology playing a normal gig versus waiting to get up at the open mic is sooooooooo wildly different lol
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Mar 1, 2024 15:11
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stand up, comely goons
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Mar 1, 2024 15:13
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redshirt posted:I'd think you'd need some kind of hook, a way to differentiate yourself. I have no idea what. Maybe stuffy librarian? Fake British guy? 
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Mar 1, 2024 15:14
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEOQOoAVnWk
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Mar 1, 2024 15:14
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better than most first timers tbh
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Mar 1, 2024 15:33
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one time at a yuks amateur night a big fat guy got up on stage for the first time and talked about falling down the stairs and making GBS threads his pants, stumbling over his words more and more as time went on; the laughter he fantasized about never materializing. At the 2:30 mark he unceremoniously put the mic back in the stand (still at the front of the stage) mumbled "boy this is harder than it looks" and shuffled off, never to be seen again. I think about you often, obese pants shitter.
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Mar 1, 2024 15:40
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Didn't watch this yet but I went to an open mic years back now at the cornerstone. The one dude doing standup was awful and your for sure way funnier then him.
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Mar 1, 2024 15:47
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I remember some lady who always showed up to the open mic I was going to making a derisive comment about one of my masturbation jokes, as if she'd grown tired of young men bringing up the subject in their sets
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Mar 1, 2024 16:54
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Smugworth posted:I remember some lady who always showed up to the open mic I was going to making a derisive comment about one of my masturbation jokes, as if she'd grown tired of young men bringing up the subject in their sets sounds like you are ready for the podcast phase of your standup career
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Mar 1, 2024 16:57
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Smugworth posted:I remember some lady who always showed up to the open mic I was going to making a derisive comment about one of my masturbation jokes, as if she'd grown tired of young men bringing up the subject in their sets What was the joke
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Mar 1, 2024 17:22
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Not very good
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Mar 1, 2024 17:26
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I like when sienfelf talks about airplane food
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Mar 1, 2024 17:27
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*germanishly* herr seinfelf...
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Mar 1, 2024 17:30
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You ever notice how hot dogs come in 11 packs but buns come in 13 packs??
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Mar 1, 2024 17:31
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You ever notice how paper plates come in packs of 8 but birthday parties only require one? No? Just me? Edit: Also, neato burrito posted:There's a joke in my head that I'll never do and is probably unoriginal, but you can have it. The premise is that I watch so much Youtube that I start thinking that I can do the things I see there. Mountain biking? I could do that. Skateboarding? Easy. The problem is I also watch a lot of porn and now I'm starting to think that I'd probably suck a good dick too. *cue laughter* lol itry fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Mar 1, 2024 |
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Mar 1, 2024 17:44
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What's the deal with ovaltine?
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Mar 1, 2024 17:53
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eDo6t92b4Y
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Mar 1, 2024 18:37
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Half-drunk white bro, “what is the DEAL with Morgan freeman’s freckles!” - killer open mic set
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Mar 1, 2024 18:46
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me trying out my tight 5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUoydjPyZOQ
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Mar 1, 2024 19:11
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"What's the deal with picnics? Who is going to these things? Chads? By the way did you know Chads are real?" "What's the deal with going outside? And why even bring a child anywhere, not like they'll remember it." "What's the deal with sandwiches by the way, you've got your bread, THAT'S a given, and you know there's going to be meat in there, and then............... More bread! Who's asking for more bread? Was the first bread just not enough?" *OP pauses to wait for an actual answer. As OP waits, the camera pans out to show OP sadly staring at a deteriorating brick wall in a dark deserted club*
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Mar 1, 2024 19:13
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:I don’t know if it’s funny, but it made me laugh. You should use it if it works with your act. I don't have an act lol, just watch a lot of Kill Tony.
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Mar 1, 2024 19:21
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This thread reminds me a lot of one of the scenes in the production I have running right now. It's an autobiographical one man how; a real think piece that delves deep into my emotions using the characters I've met along the way. It's got heart like you wouldn't believe but a lot of humour also. Three fantastic hours!
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Mar 1, 2024 19:32
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lmao
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Mar 1, 2024 19:34
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thunderspanks posted:one time at a yuks amateur night a big fat guy got up on stage for the first time and talked about falling down the stairs and making GBS threads his pants, stumbling over his words more and more as time went on; the laughter he fantasized about never materializing. At the 2:30 mark he unceremoniously put the mic back in the stand (still at the front of the stage) mumbled "boy this is harder than it looks" and shuffled off, never to be seen again. This is hysterical though - giant fat guys falling down and making GBS threads their pants and failing at everything they try is the rosetta stone of comedy.
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Mar 1, 2024 19:37
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OP if you tell a bad joke just say the audience is too woke to get it and you get a pass
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Mar 1, 2024 19:55
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Hey speaking of stand up, Kyle Kinane's new special just dropped, here's some early access codes. Redeem here. ?FEFGZJJW9PF - ? is number nine ?FDBMTAZ6GNA - ? is letter M ?9KPTYNVNR5D - ? is letter E ?B6PBZVA9WMJ - ? is number eight
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Mar 1, 2024 19:56
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| # ? May 5, 2024 03:35 |
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feller posted:lmao lol i forgot what it was and then laughed at my own joke
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Mar 1, 2024 20:02
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