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Which main event are you looking forward to the most this month? This poll is closed. |
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| You already know how this gag works |
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2 | 9.09% |
| You're going to pick O'Malley vs Chito |
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1 | 4.55% |
| Unless you're really invested in Amanda Ribas |
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1 | 4.55% |
| Sean O'Malley vs Marlon Vera 2 |
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0 | 0% |
| Corey Anderson vs Karl Moore |
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3 | 13.64% |
| Wait |
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3 | 13.64% |
| How did that get there |
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3 | 13.64% |
| Oh no, not more Beastin' |
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9 | 40.91% |
| Total: | 22 votes | ||
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Unperson_47 posted:Maybe the bigot on the verge of a violent nervous breakdown shouldn't be fighting 90% of the roster shouldn't be fighting?
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Mar 26, 2024 22:42
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:33 |
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BlindSite posted:90% of the roster shouldn't be fighting? I mean...
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Mar 27, 2024 00:55
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 96: NO SUBSTITUTION SATURDAY, MARCH 30 FROM THE BOARDWALK HALL IN ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY PRELIMS 4 PM PDT / 7 PM EDT | MAIN CARD 7 PM / 10 PM I wrote this thirteen months ago: CarlCX posted:Women make up roughly 25% of the Ultimate Fighting Championship roster. There were 42 UFC events in 2022, 6 of them were main evented by women, and 2 of those main events were co-mains that got bumped up on short notice after men were either hurt or rescheduled. The women got 14% of the main events for the year, but that's only because of booking errors--it was supposed to be 9%. In case you didn't click through: That card from 13 months ago? That was Jéssica Andrade vs Erin Blanchfield. They were supposed to play second fiddle to Cory Sandhagen vs Marlon Vera. But hey: It's more than a year later, Erin Blanchfield and Manon Fiorot are now the top contenders at Women's Flyweight, so they definitely wouldn't do her dirty again, right? This card's main event was Vicente Luque vs Sean Brady. Two periphery-of-the-top-ten Welterweights on one-fight winning streaks were going to main event this card over Erin Blanchfield and Manon Fiorot. We're only here because Brady got hurt. Blanchfield and Fiorot didn't even get their own loving poster. But hey: Two women's main events in a row, right? Say thank you, UFC.  not over it yet. MAIN EVENT: BEST OF THE BEST WOMEN'S FLYWEIGHT: Erin Blanchfield (12-1, #2) vs Manon Fiorot (11-1, #3) I feel like my self-quoting gets overly indulgent (or lazy) sometimes, but I was really, really tempted to build this entire writeup out of old quotes about how baffling the booking of both Erin Blanchfield and Manon Fiorot has been and how wild it is that we got here, but if I don't at least pretend to be professional, I'll never become one. This is a title eliminator. I recognize that I say 'this is a title eliminator' somewhat regularly and, often, I am wrong. Sometimes this is because the UFC said it was and later changed their minds, sometimes it is because I have made the lamentable choice of assuming someone beating a top contender will make them a top contender. Sometimes I am just trying with all my will to wish it into being. This is a title eliminator because it is impossible for anything else to happen. The only person ranked above either of these women is Valentina Shevchenko, who is already fighting for the title. Whoever wins this fight will have absolutely no one standing between themselves and the champion. It would be promotional malpractice to have these women fight each other and not give whoever wins the next crack at the championship. But they might not do it anyway, because boy, if they really wanted to, they could've had both these women fighting for the belt almost two goddamn years ago. And it doesn't even matter if you're prioritizing actual credibility as top competitors or personal marketability. They could have easily claimed both. At the end of 2022, Erin Blanchfield was 4-0 in the UFC. The company had spent an entire year marketing England's Molly McCann as a big British star right alongside Paddy Pimblett, which made it deeply perplexing when they threw McCann and her striking-centric gameplan to the wolves against the ultra-grapply Blanchfield in the middle of some pay-per-view prelims just under the immeasurably important fight that was Ryan Spann vs Dominick Reyes. Blanchfield ran through McCann in a single round. 4-0, multiple submission finishes, just destroyed the most-marketed woman in her division. That could've been enough! But it wasn't. So they threw her at Jéssica Andrade in that aforementioned not-exactly-a-main-event, and Blanchfield destroyed her, too. That could've been enough! But it wasn't. Sure, she's 5-0, and sure, she beat a former champion and two-division title contender, and sure, she's the first person to submit Andrade in eight years, but, uh, we forgot to market it. But don't worry, we'll market you next time! We'll make you a star! They did not make her a star. They had her fight Taila Santos at the rear end end of a card that started at two in the loving morning for the majority of their American audience. It didn't make main event, it didn't make co-main event, it just barely cleared curtain-jerking. Fun fact: The actual co-main event? Ryan loving Spann again. But whatever! Whatever. It's over now. She's undefeated in the company, she's on a six-fight winning streak and she just beat the woman who almost beat Valentina Shevchenko, which was so important to the UFC that they actually fired Taila Santos immediately after the Blanchfielkd loss. That's it! It's done! She's got next, right? There's literally no one else it could be. Well: There's this one lady. See, Manon Fiorot was also undefeated in the UFC. Manon Fiorot was also 4-0. Her striking had seen her score two back-to-back standing TKOs, which immediately raised promotional eyebrows, but she'd been unable to replicate the stoppages and had settled instead for simply outclassing everyone they put in front of her. She beat up future 135-pound contender Mayra Bueno Silva, she beat up former title challenger Jessica Eye, and right at the end of 2022 she was given the acid test that is the permanent 125-pound top contender Katlyn Cerminara, and she outfought her, too. She was now on a five-fight winning streak, she'd beaten two former title challengers back to back, and she'd punched her ticket to a #2 ranking in the division. But--once again--barely anyone had seen her. Almost all of her appearances had been on prelims. Her victory over Silva was television, and then, inexplicably, her fight with Maia was back down on the prelims again. It wasn't until her victory over Cerminara that she made her first pay-per-view appearance. Once again, they had an undefeated top contender, and once again, they hadn't done a thing to make people care about her. And so, almost an entire year later, they had her fight Rose Namajunas in an actual, honest to god co-main event in Paris, Fiorot's home country. It was a can't-lose prospect for the UFC: Either Manon beats a big-name fighter or their biggest Strawweight star gets catapulted into title contention after just one fight at Flyweight. It wasn't quite the fireworks they'd hoped for, but Fiorot won convincingly. So it's 2024. She's 6-0. She's got victories over title contenders at three weight classes. She just beat one of the company's biggest female stars. It's time, right? Well. We're here, aren't we? The UFC wants a threematch between Alexa Grasso and Valentina Shevchenko and it's going to take the entire Summer because it's tied to The Ultimate Fighter, so gently caress it: Have the two top contenders fight each other. And I hate hating it. This is what the sport should be! The most deserving contenders should be fighting! This is the living ideal of what I want out of mixed martial arts and a testament to the entire goddamn point of a ranking system! But it's not happening in a vacuum. We just finished talking about how Rose Namajunas jumped right into top contendership with a single fight. Alexa Grasso got her shot with a shorter, less impressive winning streak than either of these two women. The next Strawweight title contender is 2 for her last 4. Bo Nickal is fighting a 50/50 fighter on the main card of UFC 300. The insidious part of placing marketing over structure is the way structure becomes harder to appreciate. Instead of simply being excited to see the two absolute best contenders in this division test one another, I'm thinking about how it took three years and a dozen fights for them to even get here. I'm thinking about how the company has tried to swap them out for fighters they liked better. I'm thinking about the very real possibility that Valentina Shevchenko wins her title back, a rubber match gets booked, and suddenly the winner of this fight is left in limbo for another nine to twelve months, or, worse, has to defend their contendership all over again. In the end, the future is uncertain and drawn by increasingly coarse hands and all we can do is enjoy the great fights when we get them. And this is a great fight. Erin Blanchfield is the most dangerous grappler in the division. Her top game is crushing, her submission game is deadly and her technique is, even now, still underrated. But her takedowns aren't great. Against most fighters she has to chain attempts together to get her opponents on the mat; against bigger, stronger fighters with competitive grappling games like JJ Aldrich and Taila Santos, Blanchfield comes up short. She went 0 for 14 trying to get Santos to the floor, and while her inexhaustibility is admirable, her success is not. Manon Fiorot is one of the most consistent strikers in the division. She'll go for a takedown here and there, and sometimes she even succeeds, but it's less out of secret French wrestling techniques and more out of people being caught flat-footed by the unlikely prospect of Manon Fiorot taking them down. That and being 5'7" and thus one of the bigger, stronger women in the division goes an awful long way. But she's very rarely had to defend takedowns--to the point that half of her blocked shots came solely from the fight with Rose. Even now, 6-0 atop the ranks, she's fighting the first real, major grappling threat of her tenure. This could be one of these women being exposed--maybe Blanchfield can't deal with Fiorot's striking when she can't get her down, maybe Fiorot can't handle real grappling pressure and Blanchfield grounds her half a dozen times in the first round--and it could be very, very close. At the end of the day my heart says ERIN BLANCHFIELD BY SUBMISSION, but if she can't deal with Fiorot's counter-wrestling or her outright strength advantage, she's in for five rounds of getting chipped to pieces. CO-MAIN EVENT: CAREER MOBILITY  WELTERWEIGHT: Vicente Luque (22-9-1, #11) vs Joaquin Buckley (17-6, NR)Vicente Luque is one of the best fighters everyone continually forgets exists, and unfortunately, it's becoming increasingly difficult to blame them, and even more unfortunately, it's not Luque's goddamn fault. Well, mostly. The losing was his fault. Luque was a dark horse in the Welterweight contendership picture heading into 2022, thanks partially to a four-fight winning streak but primarily to his status as an absolute king of horrifying violence. He finished almost everyone he fought, he pulled furious fighting instincts even out of the dying ghost of Tyron Woodley, and having beaten even Belal Muhammad back in 2016, the UFC really, really wanted him to do it again in the modern era and save them the hassle of dealing with Actual Title Contender Belal Muhammad. But he couldn't. Luque got wrestled into paste by Belal, and then he came out on the wrong end of a gunfight with Geoff Neal, resulting in the first knockout loss of his entire career. It was an entire year before Luque stepped in the cage again, and it was against Rafael dos Anjos, and Luque beat him with an uncharacteristically conservative, unusually wrestling-focused gameplan. Which he got a great deal of poo poo for, but honestly: Smart loving choice. People forget this, but Rafael dos Anjos has never actually been stopped at 170 pounds. Robbie Lawler couldn't do it. Kamaru Usman couldn't do it. Leon Edwards couldn't do it. Being strategic against 170-pound RDA is a smart choice, and if anything, it's a credit to Luque that he varied up his gameplan. Unfortunately, every attempt to capitalize on it has fallen through. Luque was due a big-time showdown with Ian Machado Garry in December, but Garry pulled out with pneumonia 48 hours ahead of the fight. Luque was supposed to have a top-ten main event against Sean Brady here, tonight, but Brady pulled out thanks to an injury. And rather than replacing him with another ranked fighter or another top opportunity, the UFC just threw in Joaquin Buckley and demoted the fight to a co-main event. This is not to poo poo on Joaquin Buckley as a fighter. Joaquin Buckley, as a fighter, is a bad dude. But, positionally, he's a massive step down from fighting Ian Garry. Buckley is only a year removed from the two-fight losing streak that saw him outworked by Nassourdine Imavov and outpunched by Chris Curtis, after which he decided being a 5'10" Middleweight was a sucker's game and it was time to drop to 170 and become a human brick. And it's gone quite well for him. His weight cut debut against Andre Fialho was, in fairness, a bit of a gimme--Fialho is a very fun fighter to watch, but he's also critically knockout-prone, had just taken two knockout losses back to back, and was essentially a soft target the UFC was hoping Buckley would get a highlight-reel stoppage against. He didn't disappoint: He reset Fialho's brain to ragdoll physics mode after dropping him with a headkick in the second round. His followup against Alex Morono, while much less dramatic, was even more impressive. Morono's been a prospect-spoiler in the division for six straight years, and Buckley outfought and outwrestled him for fifteen straight minutes. And that's the real exciting growth. Buckley's power was evident long before he was even in the UFC, but his maturing into a more well-rounded, strategically-minded fighter is the real boon of his time at Welterweight thus far. Which leaves us in a weird place. Both of these men are capable of being incredible violence machines, but as we've recently seen, both men have learned to embrace strategy when called for. This is a cosmic coinflip. In one quantum reality, this has fight of the year potential. In another, we're getting fifteen minutes of pumped jabs, spinning kicks from way too far out, and a whole, whole lot of pummeling in the clinch. At the end of the day I'm leaning towards VICENTE LUQUE BY DECISION, but anything at all is possible here. MAIN CARD: THERE AIN'T NO EASY WAY OUT MIDDLEWEIGHT: Bruno Silva (23-10) vs Chris Weidman (15-7) I say this with respect to a good fighter: Bruno Silva's participation in this fight is largely symbolic. It's not that Bruno is a bad fighter; he's fine. You don't knock out Alexander Shlemenko without being good at what you're doing. But every fighter who lives by the guns-blazing, all-out knock-out sword knows they must eventually be laid low by it, and that laying will, in all likelihood, come at the hands of a guy with a Russian name in front of a few dozen ardent fans who will watch anything. Bruno Silva is a fantastically dangerous striker with more knockouts than most people have fights. He's also 1 for his last 5, that victory was a bit of a dubious stoppage against Brad Tavares, and in that same timeframe Bruno's been clubbed-and-subbed by Gerald Meerschaert and outfought by Shara Magomedov, who is an honest to god one-eyed kickboxer who in any rational world would not get medically cleared to fight. Bruno Silva is not here for Bruno Silva. Bruno Silva is here because the UFC needs to give Chris Weidman one last chance. Once upon a time, Chris Weidman was the best of the best. He was an undefeated grappler with shocking power in his hands who took one of the greatest of all time in Anderson Silva, a man who'd run roughshod over the entire planet, and destroyed him twice in a row. He was the second-most successful champion Middleweight had ever seen, and he'd dominated the first. He was the best of his time; that time ended nine years ago. In those nine years, Chris Weidman has lost seven of his last nine fights. Five of those fights ended with him being viciously knocked out and a sixth saw his leg fold in half from the strain of throwing a blocked kick. He took almost two and a half years off, came back last Summer, and promptly got outfought--easily--by Brad Tavares. And the simple act of being kicked again fractured his tibia. Bruno Silva could be any 50/50 fighter in the UFC. He could be Cody Brundage or Julian Marquez or Abdul Razak Alhassan. It could not matter less. This fight is not about Bruno Silva's fortunes: It's about determining whether Chris Weidman is still there anymore. Like so many greats before him, he is at the nadir of his career and deeply believes he can claw his way back out. Where ordinarily I say something about wanting an old emotional favorite of mine to pull out one last moment of glory, I want no such thing here. A Chris Weidman who wins here is a Chris Weidman who's getting destroyed by Khamzat Chimaev or Caio Borralho or whoever else the UFC can build off of him, and I have no desire whatsoever to see it happen. It's better to end it here. Fortunately--unfortunately--I just don't think there's enough of Chris Weidman left to stop it. BRUNO SILVA BY TKO. MIDDLEWEIGHT: Nursulton Ruziboev (33-8-2 (2)) vs Sedriques Dumas (9-1) This has been a real weird career trajectory. Nursulton Ruziboev had long been considered one of the more interesting prospects Russia had to offer (over 155 pounds, anyway), but his break into the UFC came not because of talent scouting or his contendership prospects, but because Contender Series knockout machine Brunno "The Hulk" Ferreira needed a last-minute replacement to stay on an Apex card. Ruziboev knocked Ferreira flat in just over a minute, and having seen his potential, the UFC booked him against another marketing-favored Contender Series superprospect in Caio Borralho--which actually would've been a fascinating fight. But it fell through, which is fairly fortunate for two legitimately talented, legitimately promising potential future contenders. So who, given another chance, is Ruziboev fighting now? Why, he's fighting a promotionally preferred Contender Series prospect! You rube. You absolute jamoke. And by "you" I mean "me," and by "me" I mean "us," for we are all damned together, and by "Contender Series prospect" I mean "Sedriques Dumas, the guy who sucks with all the arrests for assault, DUI and domestic violence." Generally you can tell how invested the UFC is in a fighter by how favorably they matchmake them: Sedriques rolled from the Contender Series into a debut against the 0-2 Josh Fremd, and when he lost that fight he got the 2-3 Cody Brundage, and when he managed to win that one, he graduated all the way up to the 1-1 Abu Azaitar. (Fun fact: Cody Brundage is now 4-4, and will be So, anyway, NURSULTON RUZIBOEV BY TKO. Sedriques, and I mean this with a great deal of open disrespect, doesn't seem great. His best successes come from being bigger and stronger than his opponents. Nursulton is bigger, hits harder, and is a far more capable grappler. I do not particularly believe in Sedriques Dumas and I do not think this will be close. FEATHERWEIGHT: Bill Algeo (18-7) vs Kyle Nelson (15-5-1) I've really had to do some soulsearching about how much I actually like Bill Algeo vs how much I like having an excuse to type "Señor Perfecto" in fight write-ups. I am, officially, still on Team Algeo. My historical emotional weakness has always been for the scrappy, all-around fighters who succeed less by excelling at any one particular thing and more at just being tough motherfuckers who are impossible to stop. Bill Algeo hasn't managed more than two back to back wins in five years, but he also hasn't suffered a stoppage loss in just shy of a drat decade. Is he the best? No. Is he likely to make his way up into the top ranks? Not really. Will I follow him into hell and root for his unlikely successes? With the same heart that beat for Jim Miller in the 2000s. Kyle Nelson is a much more traditional overperforming underdog. At the start of 2023 Kyle Nelson was an embattled veteran who was 1 for 5 over the course of almost five goddamn years, and the UFC, presuming he was a safe out, put him up against "The Korean Superboy" Doo Ho Choi for his big post-military-service comeback fight. They were right--Choi outstruck him 2:1 and should have won a real clear decision--but bad judging combined with a specious point deduction turned the fight into a draw instead. Suddenly, Nelson was no longer on a pure losing streak, and one year later and even more surprisingly, he is now on a winning streak. Somehow, against the odds, Kyle Nelson is riding back to back victories over Blake Bilder and Fernando Padilla. Both times he was a deeply underestimated +200 underdog: Both times he simply outworked both men. I am, of course, making the UFC's mistake and underestimating Kyle Nelson, but I just don't see him--or most people--outworking Señor Perfecto. BILL ALGEO BY DECISION. Get that third win, for once. WELTERWEIGHT: Chidi Njokuani (20-10 (1)) vs Rhys McKee (13-5-1)It's time for a good old-fashioned no-defense showdown. Chidi Njokuani looked all to hell like a new Middleweight prospect after crushing Marc-André Barriault and Duško Todorović in about five minutes combined, but, as with his older brother, World Extreme Cagefighting veteran and homophobically anti-grappling activist Anthony Njokuani, his big punch-powered boat has been dashed on the rocky shoals of that roving villain of the seven seas: Wrestling. Having 80" reach and the ability to punch a hole in a rhinoceros means nothing when Robocop Rodrigues is throwing you on the floor. Chidi's two-fight knockout streak is now a three-fight losing streak thanks to a procession of manhandlers destroying him on the ground. Which is why Rhys McKee is here. McKee, too, was a big, hyped prospect for the UFC--twice! The first time around in 2020 he was a Cage Warriors contender who came over from England, brought his all-action style to the states and was promptly wrestled to death by Khamzat Chimaev and broken in the clinch by Alex Morono. Back to Britain, back to Cage Warriors, and back to the regional title picture--thank you for your service in raising the next generation of English prospects, "Judo" Jim Wallhead, I still miss you--and he got his second crack at the UFC this past September. He was seasoned and wizened by his experience, and this time, no Russian or American wrestling would stop him! No, this time it was the Swiss. Ange Loosa double-legged him into another busted debut. So now Chidi and Rhys have found one another. The world does not understand them and their anti-wrestling ways, but maybe, in this fight, they can get the acceptance they've been repeatedly denied in the UFC. Maybe, finally, someone will think of Julian Lane and simply let them bang. I'm going with CHIDI NJOKUANI BY TKO but honestly it would be the funniest loving thing in the world if Rhys just shot British doubles for 15 minutes while the commentators screamed in agony. PRELIMS: WRESTLING HAS ITS DAY FEATHERWEIGHT: Nate Landwehr (17-5) vs Jamall Emmers (20-7) Nate "The Train" Landwehr feels like a case study in how a single loss in the wrong place can destroy a fighter's momentum altogether. His first year in the UFC was a back-and-forth trade of losses with a single win, but he spent the next two years rattling off a winning streak that wasn't impressive just for its numbers, but its victims. David Onama was a hyped prospect: Nate beat him. Ľudovít Klein is a great fighter who hadn't been stopped since 2017: Nate choked him out. Austin Lingo was a violence machine who'd never been stopped at all: Nate submitted him in two rounds. But Dan Ige shut Nate Landwehr out of their subsequent fight--and Dan Ige is a man who, himself, has been shut out of contendership completely. This is why the UFC is so careful with their preferred prospects: If you fight a gatekeeper and lose, your hype goes with it, and all you can do is go back to fighting other prospects for traction. It wasn't supposed to be Jamall Emmers--it was supposed to be Pat Sabatini, the one wrestler-grappler for whom even I cannot find joy in my heart--but injuries did what they do, and here we are. Up until last November, despite going on four years in the UFC, Emmers' best performance was a split decision loss to Giga Chikadze back when Giga was still a massively marketed prospect. Upsetting the 23-0 Khusein Askhabov in his UFC debut was close, but for one, Khusein's record was pretty spotty, and for two, Khusein is now banned from the sport until 2026 for doping. But last November Emmers finally got his big signature UFC win by punching out Dennis Buzukja in under a minute. I like Nate Landwehr an awful lot. My fetish for the scrappy half-grappler wrecking machines is more or less the centerpiece of my writing, at this point. I think he would've had a real good night against Pat Sabatini. I do not think he's going to be able to deal with Emmers slinging leather at him. JAMAL EMMERS BY TKO. WOMEN'S STRAWWEIGHT: Virna Jandiroba (19-3, #5) vs Loopy Godinez (12-3, #10)Of all my tired catchphrase schticks--from The Ultimate Fighter (jesus christ) to dramatically overabusing 'Unfortunately,' and ', of course,' to my perpetually incorrect fight picks--none of them are as tired as my constant complaints about the bad booking of the women's divisions, because it's actually, genuinely infuriating. Virna Jandiroba is five years and eight fights deep into her time in the UFC, she's one higher-ranked win or late-injury replacement away from a title shot, and in all that time she's been off the prelims once--and it's because she was fighting Mackenzie loving Dern. Lupita Godinez is ten fights into the UFC--in just three loving years--and it took her eight fights to get off the prelims, too. But she did! They put her on the main card of a Mackenzie Dern card and she won! And then she was back to the prelims for the next fight. And then it was even lower on the prelims after that. Virna Jandiroba is a top fighter who just beat a former top contender in Marina Rodriguez. Lupita Godinez is a big prospect on a four-fight winning streak. This is a top five loving fight in the Women's Strawweight division. It does not rank a Sedriques Dumas main card spot. It does not even rank a featured prelim spot. Loopy was part of the UFC's massively marketed NOCHE UFC experiment in trying to get a death grip on the Latin American audience, and it bought her this. I cannot tell you how tired I am of complaining about this over and over again, and I cannot tell you how desperately I want them to just loving market people responsibly. Ever. LOOPY GODINEZ BY DECISION. The house is rotten. FEATHERWEIGHT: Julio Arce (18-6) vs Herbert Burns (11-4) This is our 'coming back from weird circumstances' fight of the night. Julio Arce was one of the UFC's biggest hot-and-cold prospects, trading back to back wins every single fight for four goddamn years straight and somehow still almost getting ranked out of it anyway, but the second to last time we saw him he missed weight, the last time we saw him he got dominated by Montel Jackson, and since that night in November of 2022 we haven't seen him at all. Herbert Burns is an even better case. He stormed into the UFC in 2019, became an immediate prospect by knocking out Nate Landwehr and retiring Evan Dunham, and then missed weight by almost five pounds and disappeared for two years. He came back in July of 2022, fought Bill Algeo, almost choked him out, and then got battered so badly for the next six minutes that Burns simply couldn't get up off the mat anymore and fell victim to the dreaded TKO (Exhaustion) result. And that, too, was the last time we saw him. So here's two genuinely talented prospects who looked like real contenders who are coming off of 16-20 months on the shelf rehabbing injuries and who, when last we saw them, put forth arguably the worst performances of their careers. The hell do either of them look like now? Is almost two years enough to recover from your body quitting on you completely in mid-fight? Julio's a huge betting favorite, but he's struggled like hell with strong grapplers, and Burns is a drat good one. But it's just so hard to have faith, at this point. JULIO ARCE BY TKO. FEATHERWEIGHT: Dennis Buzukja (11-4) vs Connor Matthews (7-1) I think this is my wall. I'm trying to find the care and it's just not there. Dennis Buzukja came into the UFC as the third replacement in a single fight against Sean Woodson, lost, came back three months later and got dunked on by Jamall Emmers, and is now on-deck to feed the latest Contender Series winner. As of the beginning of 2023, Connor Matthews was 5-1 against fighters with a combined record of 24-115. If that seems suspiciously insane to you, and if you happen to be a particularly attentive reader, congratulations: You found the guaranteed annual appearance of mixed martial arts superjobber Jay Ellis, who as of his latest fight this past January is now 16-109 all by himself. Matthews was on the Contender Series in 2022, lost, won exactly one fight and got invited right back, and thanks to his victory over Jair Farias, he's in the UFC now. And I don't care. I just don't. It's the most replacement-contract of all replacement-contract fighters against a guy who has one win against a genuinely successful fighter in his entire life, and as I try to find the words to explain to you why you should be invested in this fight, all the energy in my body slowly leaks from my fingertips and flows into the cracks between keys in my keyboard and I will have to get canned air out to retrieve it so I can go to the grocery store tomorrow and buy the high fructose corn syrup products that will help me survive watching Dennis Buzukja fight Connor Matthews. CONNOR MATTHEWS BY DECISION. Find me in the tenth bolgia of Hell where I will spend eternity. LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT: Ibo Aslan (12-1) vs Anton Turkalj (8-3) I'm going to use this fight to illustrate the problem I typically use words for. Ibo "The Last Ottoman" Aslan is, say it with me, a 2023 Contender Series winner. Who did he fight?  Well, that doesn't look too bad. Who did he fight to get there?  Okay, that's a lot worse. Boy, that's much worse. But he's 12-1, right? Who's the one?  This is a rematch? Are you loving kidding me? You got a Contender Series winner whose entire career is built around killing jobbers and you happen to have THE PLEASURE MAN Anton Turkalj still on the roster despite being on a three-fight losing streak and you're putting them back together? Did the world really need this Swedish rematch four years in the making? Were the stakes of the great BRAVE CF 40: MOCHAMED VS SHOAIB so high that you simply had to run it back in the UFC? Burn Light Heavyweight to the ground. Salt the Earth. Remove all memory of Jon Jones from our history. Let us move on. ANTON TURKALJ BY DECISION. WOMEN'S FLYWEIGHT: Victoria Dudakova (8-0) vs Melissa Gatto (8-2-2) Victoria Dudakova has not found the landing pad she was looking for. The UFC brought the undefeated Russian grappler into the Contender Series in 2022 and gave her the 6-4, three-fight-losing-streak-bearing Istela Nunes to victimize in her debut. Technically, she did: Nunes blew her elbow out defending a takedown the wrong way. TKO victory, sure; fan-favorite highlight, not so much. Next on the docket: Jinh Yu Frey, also on a three-fight losing streak, also at an even worse 11-9. Again, Dudakova won, but it was a decision, and she landed multiple illegal strikes, and she still only got a 29-28, and she missed weight. So now--for her third shot--it's Melissa Gatto, who is clearly a much more seriously-intentioned matchup because unlike Dudakova's other opponents, Gatto is only on a two-fight losing streak. But she's also actually good, and a very competent grappler, and a powerful striker, and she just came just a coinflip away from winning a split decision over Ariane Lipski in her last fight. I was excited about Dudakova's prospects after watching tape on her. After her two UFC fights thus far, I've become disconcertingly skeptical. MELISSA GATTO BY TKO feels like an underrated likelihood. MIDDLEWEIGHT: Andre Petroski (10-2) vs Jacob Malkoun (7-3) JACOB MALKOUN BY DECISION. Every time Jacob Malkoun fights I wind up picking him by virtue of his wrestling, and every other time, something goes wrong. He gets sparked by Phil Hawes, or he outwrestles Brendan Allen but loses a decision, or, as in his most recent fight, he utterly dominates Cody Brundage and, less than a minute away from winning a 10-8 round, Malkoun elbows Brundage in the brainstem and loses a disqualification. The universe has sent a clear message about Jacob Malkoun, and I am telling the universe, in no uncertain terms, that I do not care. I will not be moved from this course of action. I know Andre Petroski outgrappled Gerald Meerschaert; that does not remotely matter to the math of my soul. Give me fifteen minutes of Australian single-legs and let me be free. BANTAMWEIGHT: Angel Pacheco (7-2) vs Caolán Loughran (8-1) And here, at the end of all things, we have two prospects the UFC would really like to rescue from loss. Angel Pacheco rode the jobber->Contender Series pipeline so hard that at one point he actually scored two back to back first-round knockouts against the same exact jobber in 71 days, which should probably be illegal, but instead, we are here. He actually lost his Contender Series bout against Danny Silva, who made his own debut just two weeks ago, but Pacheco put up such a memorable fight that he got signed anyway. Caolán Loughran was another of the UFC's great big hopes--an undefeated Cage Warriors champion from Ireland whose almost-all-stoppages record looked great if you ignored that he didn't fight anyone with a winning record until he was already 5-0--and they put him all the way up in the featured prelim spot on the Gane/Spivac card in Paris last year, and thanks to replacements he had to fight the legitimately decent Taylor Lapilus, and Lapilus took his undefeated streak away before he could get it into the spotlight. I said back then that I don't like how Caolán Loughran fights--all offense, no defense, using his chin to excuse his power-punching style--and he heard me, because the moment Lapilus gave him trouble he turned into a cage-clinching machine. Pacheco's aggression is a bit more controlled and his chin is better-tested. ANGEL PACHECO BY TKO.
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Mar 27, 2024 23:27
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as a fun followup on the topic of 'boy, it seems like the UFC really doesn't care about marketing their top female contenders,' https://twitter.com/BigMarcel24/status/1773061805729853668
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Mar 27, 2024 23:53
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My eyebrows raised reflexively when I saw Chris Wideman. How is he still here??
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Mar 28, 2024 00:07
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ilmucche posted:My eyebrows raised reflexively when I saw Chris Wideman. How is he still here?? He has a very big case of 'i can't go out on a loss' apparently. He never should have returned after the leg break
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Mar 28, 2024 01:22
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I didn't realize until yesterday that this weekend's card is so near me, thought of going but apparently the cheapest tickets possible are like $140? That seems like too much to go watch Chris Wide Man fight in 2024.
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Mar 28, 2024 01:35
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Brut posted:I didn't realize until yesterday that this weekend's card is so near me, thought of going but apparently the cheapest tickets possible are like $140? That seems like too much to go watch Chris Wide Man fight in 2024. Still probably pretty fun to go to a live event if you havent been to many. Also Whittaker v Chimiaev in June, in Saudi Arabia. I'd really like for Whittaker to knock him out and just silence that loving crowd.
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Mar 28, 2024 07:18
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CarlCX posted:CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 96: NO SUBSTITUTION https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl8fGHDAHtQ
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Mar 28, 2024 08:16
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BlindSite posted:Also Whittaker v Chimiaev in June, in Saudi Arabia. I'd really like for Whittaker to knock him out and just silence that loving crowd. I'd also love that, but I'm worried that Bobby might be washed. Perhaps he gets taken down surprisingly easy after getting stunned and then gets submitted. Can you imagine if Khamzat wins the belt? How infrequently he would defend it? It would suck.
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Mar 28, 2024 19:26
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Wow another Perth card, pity it's Izzy versus DDP. Whitaker is fighting in Saudi so I wonder if Jack Della will be recovered for a home town fight.
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Mar 28, 2024 23:12
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One of the worst things for actual matchmaking of the UFC is their need to push the “local” thing. It ends up hurting their cards having to put a British fighter in every fight, or Arab fighter, or whatever depending where the fight is. It’s just another bullshit factor that puts good fights on hold.
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Mar 28, 2024 23:25
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Scapegoat posted:Wow another Perth card, pity it's Izzy versus DDP. Whitaker is fighting in Saudi so I wonder if Jack Della will be recovered for a home town fight. I think Della completely broke his arm so I mean, 6 weeks before he can do much of anything makes it tough. He's crazy enough to do it, but he's got that pop now and he probably needs to protect his career a little bit. By which I mean don't jump in against some killer like Shavkat on 4 weeks training.
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Mar 28, 2024 23:52
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ahcUS9SNPM
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Mar 29, 2024 13:32
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Scapegoat posted:Wow another Perth card, pity it's Izzy versus DDP. Whitaker is fighting in Saudi so I wonder if Jack Della will be recovered for a home town fight. Australia is the average of New Zealand and South Africa
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Mar 29, 2024 15:01
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Some good violence this morning in ONE https://x.com/ONEChampionship/status/1773716970590097511?s=20 https://x.com/ONEChampionship/status/1773732483970093522?s=20 https://x.com/ONEChampionship/status/1773728971588538393?s=20 https://x.com/ONEChampionship/status/1773725632532554021?s=20 https://x.com/ONEChampionship/status/1773720289710608630?s=20
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Mar 29, 2024 16:40
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He may be one of the most evil and ruthless promoters in boxing history but you can't deny his talent in the ring https://x.com/CSTodayNews/status/1773736661328834601?s=20
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Mar 29, 2024 17:00
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MT refs should get a bonus for every head they successfully catch before it hits the mat
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Mar 29, 2024 17:31
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coathat posted:He may be one of the most evil and ruthless promoters in boxing history but you can't deny his talent in the ring Lmao that took me a second. Like half these dudes look like they're chiseled from stone it's insane
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Mar 29, 2024 17:51
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awww yisss https://twitter.com/MerabDvalishvil/status/1773778620374450295
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Mar 29, 2024 23:10
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Holy poo poo the Flintstones foley on that running away.
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Mar 29, 2024 23:58
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https://twitter.com/Haduuuucken/status/1773917462167503341
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Mar 30, 2024 08:01
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Lmao, keep it coming merab
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Mar 30, 2024 08:33
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Perfect that a clown wig sells the Suga look so well.
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Mar 30, 2024 08:36
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Why any fight promotion would release Tyson Nam is beyond me. Also, try not to be shocked, but Pavlovich vs Volkov was apparently announced without either fighter agreeing to it, they train together, they're adamant they're not fighting each other unless it's for a title, and now they're both really mad.
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Mar 30, 2024 08:37
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CarlCX posted:announced without either fighter agreeing to it 60% of the time, it works every time -- Sean Shelby
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Mar 30, 2024 08:39
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CarlCX posted:Why any fight promotion would release Tyson Nam is beyond me. Do they want to be loving fighters? Look, I offered these guys a fight, set everything up. A great deal for them and they loving say they had no idea? This is the loving ufc! I can't believe these guys don't want to fight, it's disgusting. They call themselves professionals, what a loving joke.
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Mar 30, 2024 08:55
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CarlCX posted:Why any fight promotion would release Tyson Nam is beyond me.
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Mar 30, 2024 09:06
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Fentry posted:Why pay one good fighter what he's worth when you have an endless line of guys you can get away with paying 12k I'm trying to find the right way to phrase it, but I feel less like I'm watching the best fighters on Earth and more the guys they found that will wing hooks with total abandon and someone will get knocked out for a 10 second clip on Twitter. Which of course Power Slap is that distilled to it's purest, dumbest form.
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Mar 30, 2024 09:53
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The original and first ultimate fighter, Helio Gracie, looks down on what the OG of the fight business a true Boston gangster, Dana, has down to ultimate fighting from heaven and weeps
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Mar 30, 2024 15:47
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https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=4057477 Blanchfield/Fiorot GDT is up. Prelims begin in 30.
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Mar 30, 2024 23:32
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Super Deuce posted:One of the worst things for actual matchmaking of the UFC is their need to push the “local” thing. It ends up hurting their cards having to put a British fighter in every fight, or Arab fighter, or whatever depending where the fight is. It’s just another bullshit factor that puts good fights on hold. If you're looking at it purely from a matchmaking academia perspective, then maybe I guess, but if you're looking at the enterprise as a whole in the real world, then it's a pretty good and important part of it.
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Mar 31, 2024 00:08
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Buschmaki posted:The original and first ultimate fighter, Helio Gracie, looks down on what the OG of the fight business a true Boston gangster, Dana, has down to ultimate fighting from heaven and weeps there is no way any gracie has ever seen the warmth and light of heaven
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Mar 31, 2024 00:09
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Super Deuce posted:One of the worst things for actual matchmaking of the UFC is their need to push the “local” thing. It ends up hurting their cards having to put a British fighter in every fight, or Arab fighter, or whatever depending where the fight is. It’s just another bullshit factor that puts good fights on hold. i dunno i think of all the things we could criticize the ufc about, this is pretty low down the list. it builds local interest, it sells local tickets, it hypes local fighters, and they get to pay less for airfare/accommodations for the local fighters and their coaches/cornermen/ support staff. it’s like win/win/win
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Mar 31, 2024 00:14
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glad to see the Ray Longo-Moe Howard school pick up the dub today
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Mar 31, 2024 06:36
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Buckley is 100% on EPO right? The amount of explosive movement, running around and zero signs of gassing strongly reminded of Dillashaw, though with like 40% less skill.
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Mar 31, 2024 15:20
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Majkol posted:Buckley is 100% on EPO right? The amount of explosive movement, running around and zero signs of gassing strongly reminded of Dillashaw, though with like 40% less skill. lol what?
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Mar 31, 2024 15:36
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 Let us leave this month and its constant unintentional ocular surgery behind. On to April.
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Apr 1, 2024 20:54
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