UFC/MMA March: a guy trying his best to defeat a French guy via guillotine

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC/MMA March: a guy trying his best to defeat a French guy via guillotine

Which main event are you looking forward to the most this month? This poll is closed.
You already know how this gag works	2	9.09%
You're going to pick O'Malley vs Chito	1	4.55%
Unless you're really invested in Amanda Ribas	1	4.55%
Sean O'Malley vs Marlon Vera 2	0	0%
Corey Anderson vs Karl Moore	3	13.64%
Wait	3	13.64%
How did that get there	3	13.64%
Oh no, not more Beastin'	9	40.91%
Total:	22 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

cant even wear that many pants to necessitate all those belts

# ¿ Mar 1, 2024 19:43

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 10:41

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

kid nate is a land of contrasts

# ¿ Mar 5, 2024 20:45

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Grasso and Shevchenko are the coaches of TUF 32, starting in June.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2024 16:54

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

PFL's first 3 cards have been announced. Some highlights:

Liz Carmouch vs Juliana Velasquez #3 in a women's flyweight regular season bout

Tall Steve Mowry!

Kana Watanabe!

Impa Kasanganay vs Alex E-Z Polizzi (the guy who fought in Bellator with an Arby's temporary tattoo)

Clay Collard vs Patricky Pitbull!

Sadibou Sy moves up to 205 from 170 to fight Conan Silveira's son, Josh

FACE SHOE!

My dude Jay Jay Wilson

My other dude Goiti Yamauchi vs a vile and disgusting Gracie (It is Neiman, who Goiti already knocked out 2 years ago)

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 02:26

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

CarlCX posted:

Liz Carmouche and Juliana Velasquez will fight in the opening round, and then they will fight again in the playoffs, and then, after Taila Santos gets injured, the finals will be Liz Carmouche vs Juliana Velasquez 5.

Always Be Carmouching

# ¿ Mar 12, 2024 03:17

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Digital Jedi posted:

https://x.com/NewYorkRic/status/1768302711479337370?s=20

hell yeah

# ¿ Mar 14, 2024 17:07

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

huh, ok

https://twitter.com/lthomasnews/status/1768759866246537307

# ¿ Mar 15, 2024 23:06

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

guess who was at the gym today (not my gym, i am not an ohioan)

https://twitter.com/aaronbronsteter/status/1769768209517793681?t=VsN8pCzxX0mjJys3iEr80Q&s=19

# ¿ Mar 18, 2024 18:03

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Sweaty IT Nerd posted:

Why am I so emotional about Mark Coleman? Did all that roidtech reprogram me somehow?

we are all hammerpilled here, friend

# ¿ Mar 18, 2024 20:42

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

CarlCX posted:

Aljo did get shoved into that fight in extremely lovely ways and I complained about them at length at the time, but I'm not sure it would've made a big difference to the final outcome after seeing the way the fight went.

Also, rare Bellator victory:
https://twitter.com/donndavispfl/status/1770152200011972627
This is at least theoretically the best distribution deal they've had since the Spike TV days.

holky molky

# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 20:13

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

B-League Round-Up :siren:

Bellator Champions Series: Belfast - Friday, March 22, 12 PM ET, on Max

Welcome to the shambling corpse of Bellator, propped up in a gruesome facsimile of life for reasons yet to be determined. Join me, won�t you, in the slimiest viscera and most putrid slop Irish MMA has to offer.

The prelims will see Geoff Neal�s brother, Grant, take on Luke Trainer in a matchup between one-loss guys. Steven Hill and Jordan Newman put their undefeated records on the line, as will the equally 3-0 Abraham Bably and Isaiah Pinson. Fun fact about those last two guys, they both got their pro starts by whooping on a certified jobguy. For Bably, it was Jan �The Monster� Lysak, currently 2-27, and for Pinson, it was Idrees �Grumpy Bear� Wasi, currently 3-20 (I really should finish my Found A Guy series at some point, huh?)

Next up is the Ireland portion of the prelims, as Nathan Kelly meets Super Fight League (Boom! Pow! Punch, kick, wow!) veteran Vikas Singh Ruhil. Then Ciaran Clarke faces Darius Mafi, pending Clarke�s ability to make weight, and apparently pending Mafi being allowed to fight since he had a bout listed on the 9th with results currently pending. I�m no kind of Fight Doctor or anything, but I�m not sure if a guy who fought a mere 13 days ago should be getting back in the cage so soon. Seems bad!

The prelim card ends with two members of the �We Got Beat by Alex Shabliy� Club, with Alfie Davis meeting Tofiq Musayev. Should be a good fight! Just make sure to keep Shabliy far away from the cage, so as not to spook the fighters.

The main card starts with more Ireland Time, as James Gallagher faces Leandro Higo. This fight was originally made last year, but that was during Gallagher�s �Not Fighting Anyone Right Now� phase. Hopefully things are trending in a more positive direction for Smallgregor.

Then for some reason we get Tim Wilde versus Manoel Sousa. Guess Irish Time can never last very long. Fabian Edwards looks to rebound from his loss to Johnny Eblen by facing Aaron Jeffery, who is most notable for either losing to both Brendan Allen and Caio Borralho on the Contender Series (not great) or for punching Austin Vanderford in the face (marginally ok as a litmus test for fighting prowess, pretty funny if you dislike Mr Paige VanZant).

Co-Main Event sees Patricio Pitbull finally defending the Featherweight title against Jeremy Kennedy. It is time to see if the 36 year old Pitbull is Too Old for This poo poo, or are there indeed Levels to This poo poo, and the guy with the nickname �Junior Bacon Cheeseburger� learns he is woefully overmatched. I think this should be a good fight, since Kennedy has looked pretty solid in the past, though that obviously comes with the girthy caveat that those stellar performances have been against guys who are demonstrably Not Patricio Pitbull.

In the Main Event Corey �Beastin Overtime 25/8� Anderson faces Karl Moore for the vacant Light Heavyweight title. Insanely useless fact: If Corey Anderson beasts 25 hours per day for 8 days per week, and we assume no other temporal anomalies in the Beastin-Verse, that equates to an additional 69.333 Earth-standard 24-hour days of Beastin opportunities if Corey were to Beast for an entire year, uninterrupted. Which I think he will do, once he wins the Bellator Light Heavyweight title after he punches Irish Karl in the face.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 23:52

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

UFC 300 poster featuring the following information

- UFC
- it is the 300th one
- it is on PPV

no fighters listed because who cares about who is on the card, just buy the PPV, it is UFC, you greedy little hogs

https://twitter.com/UFCEurope/status/1770402736032333905?t=_sXmIj8yacRgMvnHn8e0xw&s=19

# ¿ Mar 20, 2024 15:04

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

[extremely mike goldberg voice] and it is all over

https://twitter.com/heynottheface/status/1770477067353694660?t=IFyAUYxjQt7GR5B-K1plBA&s=19

UFC settles to pay $335mil, no mention of changes to contracts.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2024 16:53

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Does Clay Collard count?

# ¿ Mar 21, 2024 18:03

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

USADA's last gasp: suspending Walt Harris for 4 years

https://twitter.com/mma_orbit/status/1770778655007895768?t=ETYNcHus4eN4UG795_HtpA&s=19

# ¿ Mar 21, 2024 18:25

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Apparently the test was done by the new group, which is weird since I thought USADA was testing through the end of 2023 and Walt's test failures were in June and July

# ¿ Mar 21, 2024 18:59

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

LobsterMobster posted:

Apparently the test was done by the new group, which is weird since I thought USADA was testing through the end of 2023 and Walt's test failures were in June and July

Ok, further reading: tested positive for steroids and testosterone of exogenous origin in June and July. They asked for more blood and urine samples to confirm, and not only did he have exogenous testosterone and the original steroids, he had new, additional steroids in his system. Outstanding work, no notes

# ¿ Mar 21, 2024 19:39

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Back from the hospital just in time to see Smallgregor lose. Yay!

# ¿ Mar 22, 2024 21:49

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Someone should tell Kennedy it is in fact legal to check a low kick

# ¿ Mar 22, 2024 22:49

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Ooh, nice bonk from JBC.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2024 22:55

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

LobsterMobster posted:

Ooh, nice bonk from JBC.

Too many bonks from Pitbull

# ¿ Mar 22, 2024 22:57

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Spaced God posted:

idk seems like a skill issue to me

*skull issue

# ¿ Mar 24, 2024 18:15

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

awww yisss

https://twitter.com/MerabDvalishvil/status/1773778620374450295

# ¿ Mar 29, 2024 23:10

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 10:41

LobsterMobster: Oct 29, 2009; "I was being quiet and trying to be a good boy but he dialed the right combination to open the throw-down vault and it was on."

"Walter Foxx is ten times brighter than your bulb at the bottom of the tree merry xmas"

Buschmaki posted:

The original and first ultimate fighter, Helio Gracie, looks down on what the OG of the fight business a true Boston gangster, Dana, has down to ultimate fighting from heaven and weeps

there is no way any gracie has ever seen the warmth and light of heaven

# ¿ Mar 31, 2024 00:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > UFC/MMA March: a guy trying his best to defeat a French guy via guillotine