|
Can somebody pass the A1
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 02:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 20:12 |
|
|
Smugworth posted:Can somebody pass the A1 You keep drinking that stuff, you'll wind up in an early grave.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 02:09
|
|
|
i can't wait to finish this stakeout so i can attend my retirement ceremony. 50 years on the force! and all i'm looking forward to now is sailing across the world in my beautiful hand-built sailboat
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 02:52
|
|
|
Mozi posted:i can't wait to finish this stakeout so i can attend my retirement ceremony. 50 years on the force! and all i'm looking forward to now is sailing across the world in my beautiful hand-built sailboat Gosh, wow. So much wisdom. And here I am, first week as a Detective.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 02:53
|
|
|
Mozi posted:i can't wait to finish this stakeout so i can attend my retirement ceremony. 50 years on the force! and all i'm looking forward to now is sailing across the world in my beautiful hand-built sailboat Wow, that’s great. Unrelated, can you go get us food from that pizza place up the street. You know, the one that’s been robbed seven times this year and is also a known gang hang out and had a few people get shot there? They’ve got the best crust around.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 02:56
|
|
|
Whisper mode engaged
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 03:10
|
|
|
fartknocker posted:Wow, that’s great. Unrelated, can you go get us food from that pizza place up the street. You know, the one that’s been robbed seven times this year and is also a known gang hang out and had a few people get shot there? They’ve got the best crust around. no problem, just hang onto this photo of my daughter while i pop over there
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 03:11
|
|
|
GUNFIRE from the pizza shop!! *Yeah dispatch we got a 111 on 7th and 2nd, send everything!
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 04:26
|
|
|
*Slo motion dramatic music from The Second Street Pizza Factory shoot-out, bullets whizzing and sodas exploding, in slo motion. Some dramatic Italian music too.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 04:31
|
|
|
redshirt posted:GUNFIRE from the pizza shop!! I’m taking a poo poo, which is gonna take a while, can someone else answer that?
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 05:01
|
|
|
Jesus. Sarge is dead.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 06:20
|
|
|
Detective Jesus Sarge? What happened?
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 06:30
|
|
|
*steam out of the city grates,
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 07:02
|
|
|
Sooooooo, are we like gonna go get blood rampaging revenge on sarges killers and what not, or we still doing this whole stake out thing? I'm just a rookie straight out of rookie school, first night on the job so I never meet sarge, and yeah easy either way.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 07:13
|
|
|
"This is almost perverse, isn't it? I mean, we're staking out a voyeur who is peeping through windows?" Meanwhile, at Internal Affairs... "This is almost perverse, isn't it? I mean, we're tapping the signal of some cops in a van who are staking out a voyeur who is peeping through windows?" Meanwhile, at the FBI... "This is almost perverse, isn't it? I mean, we're eavesdropping on some city's IA division because they're watching some dirty cops who are staking out a peeping tom that's looking in on people." Meanwhile, in Russia... "This is almost perverse, isn't it? I mean, we're spying on the FBI while they're spying on some cops who are spying on cops who are spying on some creep." Everyone involved browses their phones at the same time and notices the same Temu ad pop up.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 07:16
|
|
|
Watch out guv, he's got a shooter!
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 11:40
|
|
|
Sorry could you say again, did you say scooter, or shooter? Sorry again, first day.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 11:50
|
|
|
We will just blend in to the neighborhood.
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 13:58
|
|
|
dr_rat posted:Sooooooo, are we like gonna go get blood rampaging revenge on sarges killers and what not, or we still doing this whole stake out thing? I say we go in blasting, but apparently the Chief is talking with the DA and it's a big thing. So we wait....
|
|
#
?
Mar 15, 2024 16:28
|
|
|
Where’s my loving pizza?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 02:50
|
|
|
*steals a tire off the stake out car to feed my faberge egg addiction.*
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 03:29
|
|
|
You seein what I'm seein Eddy?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 03:34
|
|
|
fartknocker posted:Where’s my loving pizza? Where the hell is our waiter?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 08:15
|
|
|
I could go for a beer
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 16:24
|
|
|
Oh I just noticed, this is an alcoholic lager beer I've always wanted to try one have you ever had one? I have another here, here you try one.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 16:27
|
|
|
I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 16:51
|
|
|
Sorry, sarge, I was asleep. What'd I miss?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 16:53
|
|
|
you know its not all about the perps that you walk but its really about the stake outs that you had while falsifying evidence along the way
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 17:15
|
|
|
BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:I’m hungry. Let’s get a taco. That place on 4th? *turns on the undercover car cop lights
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 17:22
|
|
|
numberoneposter posted:you know its not all about the perps that you walk but its really about the stake outs that you had while falsifying evidence along the way Speaking of which, if this suspect never shows up, what am I supposed to do with all these baggies of crack cocaine, this roll of 20s, and this stolen handgun with the serial number filed off? Do we just find someone else to plant them on?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 18:05
|
|
|
Chicken Butt posted:Speaking of which, if this suspect never shows up, what am I supposed to do with all these baggies of crack cocaine, this roll of 20s, and this stolen handgun with the serial number filed off? Do we just find someone else to plant them on? possession is 9/10 of the law and you are the one possessing them.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 18:09
|
|
|
I was just wondering Sarge, who are we even looking for?
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 18:10
|
|
|
pixaal posted:possession is 9/10 of the law and you are the one possessing them. How come no one ever talks about what the other one-tenth of the law is
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 18:40
|
|
|
redshirt posted:I was just wondering Sarge, who are we even looking for? The suspect is a bipedal species in the family Hominidae, namely Homo sapien (Linneaus 1758). There don't seem to be any other extant species but I'll give you the 411 on what to look for in case you're unsure in the field. Our detectives have gathered that they are hairless, upright walking Great Apes, and that they're oddly glaborous for the genus Homo, but research does show the presence of hair (epidermal, follicular) near the head and genitals. Genders are sexually dimorphic. Another identifying feature is the presence of a "chin" on the lower portion of the mandible, as well as the advanced society and sentience leading to complex languages they have created. While the species H. sapien reproduces in an invasive habit and adapts to all ecotypes, destroying what it needs (or feels like), it is not considered an invasive species and does not appear on any endangered species lists globally*. Our detectives tell us that they enjoy being complimented about aesthetically conscious choices they've made while grooming. Pointing out the name of the "city name" or the "sports team" displayed on their fabric coverings is often a way of de escalating their innate fearful expectations around their fellow individuals. *Some populations are declining, habitat non-availability is contributing of course, but mostly it's resource scarcity and hoarding of resources by tribal chiefs that are detrimental to the survival of specific populations. Additionaly, some populations of sapien have adopted population control methods in rather violent ways leading to wars and genocides.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 18:58
|
|
|
I was partnered with a Catholic priest a while back and 100% of our cases were demonic posessions. I mean, the court doesn't recognize demonic possession as a criminal defense, so pretty much all those poor bastards are getting the chair. Oh well. God will recognize his own so it all works out in the end.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 19:00
|
|
|
Hey Detective Sargent, lets swing by the asian market. I got an an anonymous tip that they just got a shipment of fresh ripe durian. Nothing like cracking open one of those bad boys during a sweltering hot stake out.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 19:08
|
|
|
numberoneposter posted:Hey Detective Sargent, lets swing by the asian market. I got an an anonymous tip that they just got a shipment of fresh ripe durian. Nothing like cracking open one of those bad boys during a sweltering hot stake out. Hey, if you can't play into the bit there's plenty of desk jobs just waiting for smart asses.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 19:11
|
|
|
I'm missing out on the Big Game and I had season tickets. I had to give them to my ex-wife and that stupid idiot Gary.
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 21:50
|
|
|
What do you mean you don't have no spicy catsup
|
|
#
?
Mar 18, 2024 22:31
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 20:12 |
|
|
Sarge, Kowalski won't stay on his side of the back seat! And he keeps putting his hand real close to my face and saying, "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!"
|
|
#
?
Mar 19, 2024 00:59
|
|